A.N. I'm bad and haven't updated in forever. I'm busy, so shoot me. This goes to Meilani-faerie, who lost her life to terminal cancer on Friday the seventh. We love you Mei-chan!! Please light a candle for her on Tuesday the 11th.
Legal Disclaimer: I don't own it . DUH.
Blooper Queen: Thanx for reviewing but from here on in there's slash (references).
Chapter 4- Woofie-Poo
Remus Lupin sighed as he looked around the room at the anxious first years. Why he came back to teach Defense Against Dark Arts is a mystery to even him.
Remus cleared his throat loudly. The rude chattering continued. "Attention!" he yelled. No effect. "SILENCIO!!" he finally shouted. The chattering ceased immediately.
"Ahem. I am Professor Lupin," he said tapping the chalk board with his wand.
The class burst out laughing. Remus, thoroughly confused, looked at the board behind him. Where he had scrawled hi name earlier, it now said, in girly handwriting, "Woofie-Poo." Remus nearly passed out. This stunk of Sirius. But Siri was at home...
Slowly he turned to face the class again. "Is anyone in here related to Sirius Black?" he asked. One hand rose. "What is your name?"
"Becky," the girl answered proudly. "Bellatrix is my mummy."
"Well Miss Lestrange, I do not find this very funny."
"You can call me Becky," Becky replied, "since we are family."
"No, we are not," Remus argued. 'Dear God I'm arguing with an 11-year-old.'
"Yes," Becky insisted, "we are. You're my mummy's cousin's wife." The class howled with laughter.
" NO. I. AM. NOT." said Remus, emphasizing every word. "In that sense, I am your mummy's cousin's girlfriend since we are not married. And furthermore, I am actually Siri's boyfriend as I am the guy in the relationship." The class fell silent. Remus, realizing what he just said, ran out of the classroom at top speed.