Teachers and Students

8 days until massacre

Sasuke rolled his eyes as he had walked into a sight that had become way too familiar. Ever since Ino and Naruto's prank war began it was a rare sight to see anyone involved unscathed by the other side. Ino's clothing seemed to have holes chewed through it and her friend Sakura's forehead was covered in all sorts of doodles. Ami was carefully pulling strips of wax off her arms and Choji was growing increasingly frustrated as he kept opening bags of chips only to find carrot sticks inside instead while Shikamaru was soaked head to toe.

Team Naruto wasn't unscathed either though. Kidomaru's arms were handcuffed to each other in a tangled mess. Shino's normally white trench coat had 'accidentally' been tainted pink by the wash and Kiba was scratching himself frantically covered in itching powder with the message I have worms taped onto his back. Hinata was having trouble seeing after a flashbomb went off in her face and Naruto was given a haircut... by Ino.

Although Sasuke had to admit it was impressive none of them could have been awake for more then an hour and yet everyone involved managed to get pranked in some way. Some of which he'd have to know the story behind, particularly Choji and Kidomaru. It also made Sasuke very happy that he decided to remain neutral in this ordeal.

"So I see you idiots went at it again." Sasuke deadpanned.

"Oh shut up Sasuke." Ino grumbled "And you better plan on paying me back for these Shino! They weren't cheap."

"Why are you blaming me?" Shino asked "Just because a bunch of moths chewed all your clothes while you were sleeping doesn't mean that I'm responsible. Also Kiba take that sign off your back it makes you look stupid."

"Sign?" Kiba asked as he reached onto his back and grabbed the sign "So that's why people have been asking!"

"Leave it to Shikamaru to make the most effortless prank." Ino sighed.

"Hey I covered him with itching powder and made a sign. The most effortless prank was doodling on Sakura's forehead." Shikamaru countered "Although I probably should have done that, it would have been much less troublesome."

"I'm sorry I'll be meaner next time." Hinata appologized.

"Please don't" Sakura pleaded "compared to the rest of you I got off Scott free."

Sasuke sighed and turned over to Shino "I expect you'll be over at the compound agian?"

"No I'm afraid not." Shino said "I have... other plans."

Sasuke rubbed his temples "Of course you are." He turned to Naruto and the others "I suppose the rest of you are busy as well."

"It's an Anko Training day." Sakura explained "You either show up or she'll make you show up."

"Apparently she's going to be telling us all about sealing Ugh." Ino complained "How boring."

"I want her to get onto the cool stuff already." Ami agreed "Like summons! I want to know about that."

"Troublesome" Shikamaru sighed "You do realize that the fourth Hokage was a master of seals right?"

"Still seems boring." Ino complained.

"It's a tedious process" I shugged "I took a quick look at it in the library and immediately gave up. I have no plans of learning calligraphy any time soon."

"Ugh just hearing about it makes me miss the endless laps she had us run." Sakura whined.

Iruka Umino liked to think that he was a good teacher. Iruka liked to think that he knew what he was doing. Iruka liked to think that teaching was a job he enjoyed. Normally he would be right. But recently his job has been anything but.

Iruka loved his students he really did. It made him happy when Ami, the class bully, finally got some real friends and made amends. He was realeaved when Kidomaru, the six armed new kid, didn't have any predguduce thrown upon him. It made him incredibly happy that Naruto was being accepted by everyone else.

What didn't make Iruka happy was everything else his students decided to partake in. Luckily everything they did was done outside of school... the effects of their actions was very apparent however, and he wasn't talking about the students.

"You really should take a day off Iruka." Ago suggested "No offense but you look like shit."

"I can't sleep." Iruka muttered "Kids will kill themselves if I'm not there."

"Oh I'm sure they aren't that bad." Chojo Akimichi, one of Iruka's colleagues, said.

"It's just inexperience Iruka" Inota Yamanaka, another teacher, reassured.

"You've only had to teach civilians." Iruka countered. "I have two blonds, one Yamanaka and the other Naruto going to war with each other."

"Ha!" Inota laughed "So I guess the rumors are true then! Good for Ino, a little friendly completion never hurt anyone."

"Then we have Hinata Hyugga who is so infactuated with Naruto that she immediately took his side in the conflict, Shino Aburame who not only is using his bugs for pranking purposes but is also almost as strong as Sasuke, Who has thankfully remained neutral."

"Sounds like a hassle." Chojo said sarcastically "Maybe I should play you a song on the world's smallest violin."

"Oh I'm not done!" Iruka snapped "Kiba, has managed to get half the class fighting for Naruto's side wile Ino has the other half fighting for her. Not to mention Shikamaru is actually bothering to give a shit about this whole ordeal for some unknown reason-"

"Yoshino said that if Ino lost and he didn't at least try to help her there would be consequenses." Shikapi Nara, Mizuki's replacement, explained.

"Of course she did." Ago sighed.

"As I was saying excluding Sasuke my entire class is at an all out war with each other. And while the civilians are fairly easy to catch tha clan kids are craftier and since they don't try anything within school hours I can't do anything to stop them, and And!"

"He fell asleep!" Chojo exclaimed.

"Hmmm lack of sleep, and emmesnse stress, all that yelling must have been the final nail in the coffin, he's out cold." Inota speculated.

"Ah what's the big deal." Chojo said "All my brats are off doing a scheduled camping exercise with Lakuto Kumo. I can handle Iruka's brats for a day."

With that Chojo entered Iruka's classroom and Shikapa began to count down "10, 9, 8,"

Inota rose an eyebrow "Do you really think Chojo can only handle a few seconds in there?"

"7, 6, 5, 4,"

"You'd be surprised" Ago said "I only have to deal with em for about a half hour and I want to pull my hair out afterwards."

"3, 2, 1, 0"

Chojo burst out of the room gasping for air and frantically pointed at Iruka "That man has infinite patiance! He can't be human!"

"It's been ten seconds Chojo! What could those kids have possibly done?" Inoto asked.

"They just kept yelling watermelon..." Chojo cried "Nobody would respond they just kept getting louder."

"Oh yeah those kids are crazy." Ago said "It's how you know they'll be great ninja."

Inoto sighed "Your all overreacting they're just children." With that Inoto tried his luck in Iruka's class.

Victor was a clanless civilian boy and the only other neutral party in the class aside fron Sasuke which was why he was trusted as the door guard. As the door guard he had a very important job make sure to let us all know when any unfamiliar teacher came to the door. As children we pride ourselves on the ability to make any teacher we come across run to the hills, excluding Iruka of course he's gained a reputaion as an unbreakle will when it comes to teaching.

"Teacher alert!" Victor yelled.

"Already?" Kidomaru asked "Didn't a teacher just come in?"

"Looks like we're doing this gauntlet style." I smirked "Sakura begin plan G."

Kiba started snickering "Where do you even come up with things like that?"

"My Mind is a very scary place Kiba." I said 'And considering the Kyubi is blocking the way up there that statement can be taken very literally.'

Inoto had been a teacher for five years now and sure kids could get a bit rowdy but he was a Chunin it wasn't anything he couldn't handle. Which was probably why he wasn't prepared for what came next.

"Naruto don't be stupid!" Sakura yelled.

"I'm not being stupid Sakura!" I yelled "I could totally fight a giraffe!"

"Attention everybody! Settle down now!" Inoto yelled sternly.

"My Kami Naruto just admit you'd lose." Sasuke growled "Just face it you can't fight a giraffe."

"Yes I could! Look I'll just ask him." I pointed towards Inoto "Hey you! I could totally fight a giraffe right!"

"That is Besides the point that I'm-"

"Yes but I could fight a giraffe right?"

Inoto sighed "No you could not fight-"

"Well how would you know?!" I yelled "Have you ever fought a giraffe?!"

"Well no but any Chunin worth his salt could-"

"Well what if the Giraffe is also a Chunin?" Kiba asked.

"That's impossible animals can't be ninja!" Inoto snapped.

"That sounds like an excuse to me." Ami said.

"How could a Chunin not be able to beat an animal?" Choji agreed.

"Fine!" Inoto yelled "I'll find a Kami damn giraffe and I'll show you how much of a Chunin I am!" With that Inoto stomped out of the classroom.

"These teachers just keep getting more and more pathetic." Sasuke sighed.

"He's no Iruka that's for sure." Sakura agreed.

"The smart thing to do would have been to simply agree with your nonsense." Shikamaru sighed.

"So how'd it go?" Shikapa asked.

"That man is a saint." Inoto said looking at Iruka "Now if you excuse me I'm going to go find a giraffe."

"Yes I'm sure you'd win Naruto." Iruka muttered.

"He can even teach in his sleep!" Chojo gasped.

"You know all this complaining is making me curious." Another teacher said "I think I might try my luck."

"Your funeral." Shikapa shrugged "Go get em tiger."

"So how was it?" Shikapa asked.

"So much cloth..." The teacher muttered.

"Hm? Now I need to see what the big deal with this class is."

"Did you enjoy your stay?" Shikapa yawned

"I can't get that damned song out of my head!"

"Song? I love songs this class might not be so bad then." Another teacher said

"I might have to charge an entrance fee at this rate." Shikapa deadpanned.

"Toy boat toy boat toy boit... Fuck!"

"Ha! I have to deal with Might Guy's spiritual successor! A couple of clan kids will be nothing."

"Oh Kami I'd rather have more Lees then deal with those monsters!"

"Thank you come agian." Shikapa said smugly.

"Your really enjoying yourself aren't you." Ago said.

"Of course I am" Shikapa said "I essentially get to watch teachers walk into this classroom so sure of themselves only to leave babbling nonsense. If it wasn't so troublesome I might actually walk in there myself."

"Are you insane?" Ago asked "Without Iruka to calm them down those things have pretty much gone rabid."

"That's true." Shikapa admitted.

Iruka woke up long after the academy had close for the day. Ago had explained to him how his students have managed to chase away every other teacher in the building.

Iruka sighed "I'm so lucky that those kids actually like me."

Omake Late Christmas

Itachi stared scrutinizingly at Naruto as he hung lights on the exterior of his apartment. "Naruto What are you doing?"

"Merry Christmas Itachi!" I called cheerfully.

"Naruto It's March what are you talking about?" Itachi asked.

"Merry Christmas!" I cheered

"Naruto you can't even pull that Christmas in July bullshit with this what are you doing." Itachi deadpanned.

"Oh don't be such a downer Itachi! Get into the Holliday spirit!"

"Bah Humbug" Itachi muttered.

Sorry this chapter is so short I wanted to get one out on Christmas and I wanted it to be super lighthearted since next chapter is when shit hits the fan. After the massacre there will be a timeskip to canon so things will start to speed up after this point, at least until after the bell test I do plan on having a few chapters of Naruto's adventures in D ranks.

So Merry Christmas, Happy Hanukkah, Something else for Qwanza, Good for you if your an Atheist, Insert more Holidays here Goodbye everybody and please review.