Hello again friends! Here is my contribution to the ROMioneCOM movement. It's (very very) loosely inspired by Mr. and Mrs. Smith, but really only in the sense that it involves Ron and Hermione taking down bad guys together. I've never actually seen the movie, but I was volunteered for this project, so here we are lol.

Anyway, happy Valentine's Day to you all! Hope you enjoy!

"So, er…" Ron glanced surreptitiously down at the paper in front of him. He'd met so many women today that he'd long ago lost track of all their names. "Amy. What do you like to do for fun?"

"Well," she began with a smile, "when I'm not working, I'm usually playing sports."

Ron sat up a little straighter in his chair, interested. "Yeah? You like Quidditch?"

"Oh, no, I hate Quidditch." Ron fought off a sigh. This speed dating thing had been a horrible idea. He tried to catch Harry's eye across the room, but his best mate and Auror partner was deep in conversation with their boss. "I'm mostly into muggle cricket. Do you know it?"

"No," Ron replied shortly. "Look, it was really nice to meet you, but I...uh...will you excuse me?" He rose from his seat without waiting for an answer and marched over to Harry and Robards.

"Well?" Robards asked expectantly, while Harry fought off a grin. "Have you found yourself a wife?"

"Sir," Ron began through gritted teeth, "with all due respect, I don't think this is going to work. I've spent five minutes with every female Auror in the department this afternoon, and I don't think anybody is going to believe that I'm married to one of them. There's just no spark."

"Look, Weasley, it's just a mission. We need a team undercover as a couple."

"Why doesn't Harry just take Ginny, then?"

Robards raised an eyebrow at him. "Did you miss the part where I said undercover? You want me to send Harry-freaking-Potter on a top-secret mission with the single-season scoring record holder of the British-Irish Quidditch League?" He shook his head. "I don't think so." Ron sighed heavily. "Listen, the poor girl doesn't actually have to marry you, Weasley. Just pick someone. I'll expect your fake wife's name by the end of the day tomorrow so we can get her briefed on the case." Robards clapped Ron on the shoulder and strode out of the room.

"Rough luck, mate," Harry said as they followed into the hallway, though his tone wasn't as sympathetic as Ron would have appreciated.

"All the blokes in the Aurors, and I'm the one going on a couples retreat," Ron grumbled, heading for the cafeteria. "Remind me again how I got stuck with this assignment?"

"Ironically, because you're the only one with high enough clearance who's single," Harry pointed out. "Not sure Ginny, or any of the other wives for that matter, would take too kindly to their husbands going on holiday with another woman. Even if it is just pretend."

"That's all well and good, but those last few were from the training class. I may as well not even have a partner on this for all the good it'll do me to take one of them." Ron grabbed a ready-made sandwich and a gillywater and headed for the checkout counter.

Harry rolled his eyes, trailing behind with his afternoon tea. "You'll have a partner. You'll be fine. Look, of the lot, which one would you be least likely to turn your wand on before the mission is over? That's really all you've got to ask yourself."

"Oh, real helpful, Harry," Ron retorted sarcastically.

"Oh, I hope that's not a theme today," a familiar voice piped up behind them. Hermione had snuck up with a cup of tea in one hand and a file in the other, brandishing the latter at Harry. "Harry, we've got to go over your testimony for the Peterson trial. It's next week."

"We'll get to it," Harry said, taking the file and tucking it dismissively under his arm.

"You've been saying that for three days," Hermione replied impatiently, snatching it back and opening it in front of him. "I've finally had to resort to tracking you two down at your ritualistic afternoon snack."

"Stalking me, are you, Hermione?" Ron teased.

She winked back. "You wish."

"Oh, come on, we both know you can't resist me."

"In your dreams."

"Hang on." Harry looked up from the file, glancing between the two of them. "Hermione, d'you s'pose that you could help Ron out with a little problem he's having?"

Ron caught the gleam in Harry's eye immediately. "No."

Hermione looked up at him, her face full of innocent concern. "What's going on, Ron? Is everything okay?"

"Everything's fine. Harry's just going to head back to his office and read over the Peterson file, aren't you?" Ron said pointedly, though Harry was steadfastly ignoring him.

"Come on, it's a perfect solution."

"Oh, I could think of a few reasons why it's not."

Hermione crossed her arms, still looking at Ron, and gave a beleaguered sigh. "Anytime the two of you would like to fill me in would be wonderful."

"Number one being, she's not even an Auror," Ron continued to Harry, ignoring Hermione for the time being. "What is Robards going to say?"

"You know, I'm very happy in my chosen career, but I'm oddly offended by that, and you could at least tell me why."

Ron sighed and turned back to Hermione. "Robards has got a lead on that new cell of Death Eaters we've been looking for. Thinks they're using this resort down at Brighton Beach as a sort of headquarters, and he wants to send a team to investigate, try and get some intel on what they're planning."

Hermione frowned thoughtfully. "That doesn't sound so bad. How can I help?"

"It's a couples resort. One of those swanky all-inclusive sort of places. I've been interviewing potential fake wives all afternoon to take with me on the mission."

"Interviewing?" Harry scoffed. "What an unromantic way to talk about how you met your future wife."

"Right, because nearly got her killed by a troll is a better how we met story?" Ron retorted with a vague gesture at Hermione.

"Technically, how we met is that I was looking for a lost toad, but I suppose the troll story is a bit more interesting to share with the other guests." Hermione smiled at him.

"Wait, you...would you actually do this with me?" Ron asked incredulously. On the one hand, Hermione was his best friend; he trusted her with his life, and had done, quite literally, on plenty of occasions. Though she hadn't chosen the Auror path as he and Harry had, Ron knew that she was more than capable in the field, and would be a suitable partner with him on this case.

On the other hand, going on a couples vacation, even a fake one, with the woman who was also his ex-girlfriend was surely a very terrible idea.

"Well, presuming that Robards isn't insistent on you taking someone who's actually an Auror," Hermione said slowly, "and presuming that I could get someone else to cover my caseload while I'm gone...sure. If it would help you out, of course I would."

They stared at each other silently for a moment until Harry clapped his hands together. "Well, there we go. Problem solved." He held up Hermione's file and grinned at them. "Now if you two lovebirds will excuse me, I'm just going to head back to my office and read over the Peterson file."

Ron waited until Harry was sufficiently out of earshot to turn back to Hermione. "You sure about this?"

"Ron," she said seriously. "You're my best friend, and I know how important catching these guys is to you. If I can help, I want to. Really." She put a hand on his arm and looked up at him earnestly, her sincerity both soothing his nerves and wreaking havoc on his heart. He took a deep breath.

"Okay. Thanks."

"Anytime. I've got to get back to work, but let me know what Robards says, yeah?" Hermione gave him a final smile as she turned and headed out of the cafeteria.

Ron went the opposite direction, marching straight to Harry's office. His best mate didn't even flinch when he slammed the door, his nose already deep in Hermione's report. "You said you wanted a spark," Harry said jovially, not even looking up from the file.

"I said a spark, not a towering inferno," Ron argued, rankled by Harry's tone. "And you said the person I'd least likely want to turn my wand on."

"This is Hermione we're talking about, yeah?" Harry glanced up just long enough to quirk an eyebrow at him.

"Hermione who I rowed with through six straight years of Hogwarts, nine months in a tent, and at least half of our failed relationship?" Ron retorted. "Yeah. Hermione."

Harry waved him off. "It wasn't that bad."

Ron rolled his eyes and flopped into the chair across from Harry's desk. "Hell of a revisionist history you have there, Potter."

"Well, what's the alternative? Take Amy from the cricket league?" Ron groaned. "Maybe Robards will say no."

"Robards will see it as yet another opportunity to sway Hermione to come over from legal and you know it."

"Hmm, maybe I'll retire then, and Hermione can be your new partner full-time," Harry teased before setting the file aside to focus on Ron. "Look, she did agree to this. So what are you worried about? That you can't share a room with her without killing her, or that you can't share a room without shagging her?"

Ron didn't answer immediately; it had always been a thin line with them. "Hermione and I worked really hard to rebuild our friendship after things fell apart," he said diplomatically. "I just don't want this to mess up all the progress we've made."

"So don't let it. Just keep your wand to yourself. Both wands, matter of fact." Harry chuckled at his own joke, and Ron rolled his eyes again as he stood.

"You're an idiot. I'm going to talk to Robards."

"You hoping he'll say yes or hoping he'll say no?" Ron scowled at him and turned to leave. "That's not an answer!" Harry called after him, and Ron could hear him laughing halfway down the hall.

He wanted Hermione to be by his side on this one, he really did. The chemistry they shared would make for a much more convincing cover as a married couple than the lack of rapport he'd had with any of his fellow Aurors—a couple of whom he had also casually dated in the two years since his split from Hermione. But it was more than that, of course. It had always been more than that, with her.

Ron knocked on Robards' door and opened the door after a grunt of acknowledgement from the other side. "Sir?"

"Ah, Weasley. Who's the lucky lady?"

Ron sat down opposite his boss, his knee bouncing nervously. "Well, Harry and I had a thought about who I should take on the mission."

"Listen, I know the training class candidates aren't ideal, but I can see about sending you with backup if—" Ron shook his head, cutting him off.

"It's not that. It's...what d'you think about Hermione Granger coming along?"

"Granger?" he repeated, leaning back in his chair and regarding Ron curiously. "Think you'll have a hell of a time convincing her. Been trying to recruit her for an Auror post since Kingsley first offered it to you three after the war."

"Actually, sir...she's already said she'll go if you give it the okay."

"No kidding? Well, in that case, consider it done. I'll make the necessary arrangements with her department for her time away. McClellan owes me a favor, anyway."

"You don't mind that she's not an Auror?"

Robards shrugged and shook his head. "I know she's capable. And I know she'll have your back down there." He paused. "You do understand, posing as a couple, that we'll be booking you one room?"

Ron held back a smirk at the obvious statement. "Of course. I understand. She does, too."

"Well, then. You and Potter give her a rundown of the case. We'll have you down there by this weekend." Ron nodded and stood, but Robards halted him before he could exit the office. "I know this one is going to feel like a vacation, but don't forget what these bastards are capable of. You make sure you've got her back, too."

The mental images from the war that he'd never quite shaken flashed through Ron's mind. "Always."

He struggled to focus when he got back to his office, but it was nearly five anyway, so Ron didn't feel too terrible about shoving off early and meandering down to Hermione's office. Her desk was in its usual, perpetual state of organized chaos, and she looked up only briefly when Ron knocked on her open door. "Got a minute?"

"Yes, of course, come in." She pushed one stack of papers to the side and slid another pile to the forefront of her desk. "I'm just trying to get everything organized before we leave."

"Oh, so you heard already?" Ron asked, taking a seat across from her.

Hermione nodded. "I heard. I'm quite excited, actually. It'll be just like old times, you and I tracking down bad guys. Of course, it will be nice to be properly prepared this time. Never was easy when we were kids, was it?" Hermione finally paused for a breath and looked up at him, taking in the somber expression on his face with a frown. "What?"

"I know it's sort of like a vacation, what we're doing," Ron said slowly, echoing Robards' cautionary words. "But these are dangerous people, Hermione. I want to make sure you know what you're getting into."

"Of course I do. Besides, I trust you." She smiled at him reassuringly. "Ron, we've looked out for each other since we were eleven years old. We've had lots of practice."

"Alright, alright." Ron held his hands up in surrender. "Listen, we'll do a full debrief of the case tomorrow with Harry, including our cover stories. Robards wants us down there at the weekend. I know it's a bit short notice, but—"

"Oh, it's no trouble, I've already started a packing list." Hermione held up a parchment full of her swirling handwriting, and Ron grinned at her.

"Always prepared, aren't you?"

She smiled back and shook her head. "One of us had to be."

"Well, I suppose in that case, there's only one thing left to take care of…" Ron was halfway to his knee before he realized what a terrible idea he'd just begun, but he couldn't back out or it would only be worse. Fortunately, though, Hermione was only laughing, completely oblivious to the way his heart was now pounding. "Hermione Jean Granger, will you fake-marry me?"