God: RISE FROM YOUR GRAVE!

Me: uh...ok...IM BACK WITH NEW STUFF FROM THE AS TEAM!

Chapter 17: The lost Alternative Ending for EoE...lol!

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Asuka: You seem rather bold lately, Rei. Why the sudden change?

Rei: With the Commander dead, the experiments stopped, and-

Shinji: Wait! My father's dead!

Rei: Haven't you been wondering where he's been?

Shinji: Not really.

Asuka: I'm...sorry, Shinji.

Shinji: It's not like I'll miss him or anything. It's just kinda news to me, that's all.

Rei: Oh. Then it won't bother you that you're the one who killed him?

Shinji: Me! When did this happen!

Rei: After the army came and attacked. You stopped Instrumentality doing it.

Shinji: But how! I thought everbody came back from Instrumentality already.

Asuka: Instrumentality?

Shinji: Yah. First, you were fighting the SEELE evas-

Asuka: Yes.

Shinji: And then you died because I couldn't get to my eva-

Asuka: What! I died? But I mutilated all those-

Shinji: Yes. And then they regenerated after you ran out of power, and mutilated your eva. Then I came out, and there was this giant Rei that freaked me out, and then something happened where all the souls of humanity came together in one ball, but I said that people should make their own decisions, and Giant Rei fell apart, and I woke up on a beach with Asuka and everything was red, and we were the only two people on the earth-

Rei: Really?

Shinji: Yes.

Rei: So...why is everybody back?

Shinji: I just assumed everyone came back like Asuka and me.

Asuka: Shinji: What? Wierder things have happened.

Rei: That's stupid. Shinji: Huh?

Rei: Evas can't regenerate like that. Not after what that freak did to them.

Asuka: Freak?

Rei: You beat up my poor Shinji pretty bad, right after he saved your arse from the army after your power ran out.

Asuka: I was trying to revive him! He was halucinating! You heard him!

Rei: But did you have to lick up his blood from your hands like an animal?

Asuka: ...I...I had to do something with it...right?

Shinji: ...So if that was a halucination...what was this Instrumentality that I stopped?

Rei: It was the Commander's evil plan to take over the world I was telling you about earlier.

Asuka: Oh, I see.

Rei: You don't see anything yet. I haven't even told you how it was to work yet!

Asuka: How would you know?

Rei: He was gloating about it right before he did it, like a good villian. Shinji: Huh. Didn't think he was that type. Rei: Just because he was a bad father doesn't mean he wasn't a bad villian.

Shinji: Rei: Sorry. Asuka: Anyways.

Rei: Anyways, the plan was originally to have me - or rather, the Rei before me - go out and fight SEELE's inevitable eva attack. She would loose, so Shinji would stop being emo enough to go out and try to save me. He, of course would get destroyed.

Asuka: Why? He had a better synch ratio than me, and I managed to get them all in less than four minutes!

Rei: Combat isn't about synch ratios. You have always been the best pilot, despite all your other deficiencies.

Asuka: It's the bleep Japanese food. I can't help it if they shrink because of that.

Rei: Anywho, Unit-01 would blow up, spreading a mind-controlling nanobot all over Japan (while at the same time convieniently destroying SEELE's evas and most of NERV). He would then use Lilith to broadcast his mind-control beams and have everybody come to what was left of NERV to get robotic parts. Using this cyborg army, he would proceed to take over the world.

Shinji: Question.

Rei: What?

Shinji: Who's Lilith?

Rei: The angel in Terminal Dogma.

Shinji: I thought that was Adam. Rei: No, Adam was in the Commander's hand.

Asuka: I guess that's why he always wore gloves. Gross.

Rei: It's even grosser when he feels up your bare breast with it.

Shinji: Why would he do that!

Rei: I guess his first act as future ruler of the world would be to defile the last remaining clone of his dead wife.

Asuka: How disgusting! Rei: Yah...he really was that evil. Ritsuko tried to stop him (jealous bleep), but he shot her.

Shinji: Oh. No one misses her much, I guess.

Rei: Not me, that's for sure. Asuka: Me neither. But Ms. Ibuki did.

Rei: Did?

Asuka: I've...comforted her...and she doesn't miss her one bit anymore.

Rei: I am not going to ask how you did that.

Asuka: And I'm not going to tell.

Rei: Huh...well, at that point, Shinji killed the Commander.

Asuka: But how did he do that? Rei: Well, as you might have noticed from my story, I didn't go out, and Shinji wasn't going to get blown up by SEELE's evas.

Asuka: I did notice that. I'm sure you'll get to that, though.

Rei: Of course. The Commander wanted to send me out in Unit-02, as Unit-00 was all blown up. However, I just happened to be in Terminal Dogma at the time, and by the time he found me, the Major had already sent you out in the eva for protection. Plus, Shinji was cut off from the rest of NERV and his eva - the Commander hadn't counted on the army getting involved.

Asuka: That must have really cramped his style. Rei: Indeed. However, once you revived, you became the new bait. Shinji would go out to save you instead, since you always seemed to need it.

Asuka:...

Rei: You didn't, it turned out - by the time Shinji got to his eva, you had won. He still had to save you from the army, though - but they had no chance of destroying Unit-01 with its S2 engine.

Shinji: I so totally forgot about that

Asuka: So...how was Gendo (yes, I'm using the evil Bastards first name ) going to do it?

Rei: He was going to use Lilith to send a self-destruct signal directly to the eva's animal brain.

Asuka: How was he going to make Lilith do anything?

Rei: With the angel in his hand, stupid

Asuka: Right.

Rei: However, when he did that, instead of blowing up, it caused Shinji to go crazy (and have that crazy dream, apparently). The feedback then went back to Lilith, and thus to Adam, causing both angels to die, and taking the Comma- I mean, Gendo, with them.
Asuka?

Rei: It was a part of himself, you know. The part on his hand was just the surface manifestation, apparently.

Asuka: ...So, Shinji not only saved my life, but also incidentally saved your virtue and dignity, and the rest of the world?

Rei: ...I guess you could put it that way.

Asuka: Well, I think I should reward him...but Rei would kill me.

Shinji: Oh, I think Rei would let you kiss me, right Rei?

Rei: Kiss?

Shinji: Yah, like all those stories. You know, the knight saves the damsel in distress, and she rewards him with a kiss.

Asuka: I was thinking something a little...more.

Rei: You're right - I will kill you. Besides, you just want him because you can't have him.

Asuka: No, that's not...yeah, so?

Shinji: ...Uh...I'm not sure what exactly you all are getting at, but I think I have come up with a compromise that will make everyone happy.

Rei: I don't see how.

Asuka: Me neither. Still, let's humor him.

Rei: Of course. So, what is this compromise?

Shinji: Well...how about Asuka does whatever she was going to do to me to Rei instead, and then

Rei can do that to me. That way, it's like Asuka is doing whatever it was to me, abiet indirectly.

Rei:...

Asuka: I'm perfectly happy with that Grin

Hope you enjoyed TheRoyalFamilys Post!