Sielaire is hit by a strong sense of déjà vu, as she stands by the door in the Queen's bedroom, staring blankly at Ayrenn – who watches her with an amused gaze, and flicks a hand to magically shut the door behind Sielaire. She glances back at the door, mind working in a haze until she remembers why she's even there.
"I received your summons a while ago, actually," Sielaire says slowly, eyes roving over to the open windows, noting that the sun has set since Ayrenn sent for her. "Sorry I took so long…"
"It's quite alright." Ayrenn's indulgent smile only grows as she approaches Sielaire, laying a hand on the soldier's bracer. "You look exhausted."
Her eyes follow Ayrenn's fingers as they brush the wisps of hair from her forehead. "I've been training the new Wings after the attack, and we've just retrieved the weapons shipment that the Maormer stole," she reports, gaze growing distant as she ponders the hectic schedule, before she notices Ayrenn peering closely at her, and cocks her head in question.
"So I've heard." Ayrenn traces a thumb gently under Sielaire's eye, where dark shadows sit as proof of her tireless labour. "Tell me, when was the last time you slept?"
"Um, yesterday." Sielaire frowns lightly. "Or the day before. Does that…count as yesterday?"
Ayrenn tilts her head, and raises her brows at Sielaire – obviously entertained. For some reason, Sielaire hurries to clobber a coherent answer together.
"That attack on our ships – that was three days before, yes?"
"Four, Sielaire."
"Ah. Right, but I did get some rest after that…" She snaps her gaze down to her empty hand, disbelief widening her eyes. "I'm sorry, I forgot to bring my report–"
"Oh dear. You really are a mess," Ayrenn laughs. "You sent me a report this morning, remember?" She waits for Sielaire's slow nod, then goes on, "Besides, I never call you to my chambers for business."
Sielaire nods again, as Ayrenn starts to unbuckle the straps of her pauldrons and bracers. "Then I should probably go…and get cleaned up," she says, with a vague idea of heading back to the barracks for a bath. But Ayrenn just hums ambiguously and removes her armour piece by piece, setting them down on a dresser.
When she's done, Ayrenn smiles and gives her a peck on the lips, nodding at the bathroom. "Go on. I'll get your clothes."
Ayrenn gives her a gentle push, and Sielaire wanders away, hands working on the drawstrings that keep her bodice tied neatly about her body. Sighing as she enters the bathroom, Sielaire shrugs off her clothes and tosses them onto a counter, feeling a bit of surprise when she finds the tub already filled with clean water – it seems Ayrenn has anticipated her condition. Sielaire climbs into the marble tub thoughtlessly, and shivers when she plunges right into the cool water, cursing under her breath as she slaps at the rune set into the side of the tub. The rune lights up with a red glow, but Sielaire takes the chance to splash some cold water onto her face before it warms.
She heaves another sigh, dragging both hands down her face, realising what she'd said to Ayrenn is true; she had gotten some rest after the Maormer attack on Dominion ships, but only for a precious handful of hours, two days ago. She'd been running around since then – putting out fires, fighting off Maormer landing parties, salvaging the wreckages, and overseeing the training of new recruits assigned to bolster the Wings' diminished ranks. It's been absolutely taxing, and her body is just starting to register the heavy wear on her muscles and nerves.
Sielaire doesn't even realise that she has remained bent over with her face in both hands, until a touch on her shoulder makes her jump.
"Relax." Ayrenn smiles when Sielaire turns around sharply. The Queen has shed her silken nightgown, and is wearing an equally soft tunic with its sleeves rolled up to her shoulders.
Sielaire's eyes roam down to Ayrenn's bare thighs and the black underwear peeking out under the hem of her shirt, before Ayrenn grasps her chin, raising Sielaire's gaze to meet her own.
"Focus, Sie." Her tone is coloured with mirth, and Sielaire's cheeks redden as she takes the bar of soap that Ayrenn holds out to her.
As she rubs the soap over her skin, Ayrenn grasps her shoulders and guides her to lean back on the side of the tub. She unties the leather cord from Sielaire's ponytail, gathering the curtain of auburn hair into a loose knot at the back of her head. This isn't the first time they've done this, and Sielaire knows what to expect when probing fingertips feel about her neck and shoulders, but it doesn't stop her pained gasp as Ayrenn digs into the stiff muscles of her nape.
"Hurts?"
"Yes."
"It always does," Ayrenn muses, gently kneading at the knot. "Tell me if you want to stop, alright?"
"Mm."
Sielaire closes her eyes, trying her best to loosen her muscles, only to tense up again with a soft groan when Ayrenn works on a particularly sore point. But she endures the occasional jolt of pain, trusting in her partner, and relaxes into Ayrenn's hands as they massage slowly down to her shoulders, then back up her neck again. By the time Ayrenn's thumbs are rubbing gently at the base of her skull, Sielaire is leaning fully into her touch, on the verge of falling asleep.
She blinks herself awake as Ayrenn lowers her head to rest on the tub, fingers trailing down behind Sielaire's ears, and caressing her jaw. Sielaire stares up into the gentle blue gaze, an adoration that kindles a similar warmth in her chest – and drops a subtle weight into the pit of her stomach at the same time. She has been careful with her affection despite the many times Ayrenn has taken her to bed, held her with a tenderness that she has indulged gratefully, wholeheartedly. She is falling deeper, as slowly as her caution will allow; but as she teeters on the edge, Sielaire finds herself desiring so much more – to fall, body and soul.
Ayrenn smiles as if she knows, and leans down to press their lips together. Once to steal Sielaire's senses, twice to steal her heart. The third coaxes forbidden words to Sielaire's tongue, and there it lies unspoken as Ayrenn kisses her forehead.
She feels a faint disappointment when her partner moves away, but keeps a straight face as she climbs out of the tub, chuckling when Ayrenn pats her face playfully with a towel. Sielaire's eyes remain on Ayrenn's back as the Queen strolls out to the bedroom, and she quickly towels herself dry, pulling on the shirt and pants laid out neatly for her.
When she moves back into the main chamber, Ayrenn is already waiting for her with a glass of wine. Sielaire reaches for the proffered glass, but doesn't touch it. She clasps Ayrenn's hand gently in her own, and circles an arm around the Queen's waist, pulling her in for a kiss. Ayrenn yields to her lips as she presses deeper, wondering if the Queen knows just how much she…
She feels a quiver in her own breath, and Sielaire breaks away before she loses herself completely. She gives a small smile when Ayrenn looks at her curiously, and she places a chaste peck on the Queen's cheek.
"Thank you."
Ayrenn raises a brow. "And here I thought that kiss was thanks enough."
When Sielaire's stomach grumbles, Ayrenn laughs and sends for a modest midnight snack from the kitchens. It's a light affair with clear soup, fluffy bread, and a choice assortment of cold cuts to assuage Sielaire's hunger – not quite a full meal for the soldier's hearty appetite, but it's enough to satisfy her tired body as surely as a feast, quickly lulling her to sleep as they lounge in a chaise together.
Ayrenn is distracted from her novel when she hears a soft, unintelligible murmur from where Sielaire's head rests on her chest. She angles her chin down, watching Sielaire fidget a little before growing still, and realises that her partner has fallen asleep. Sielaire must be bone-tired, despite her assertions to the contrary. The battlereeve had devoted every waking hour to dealing with the aftermath of the naval attack – it is evident from how quickly rescue operations were completed, thanks to the swift response of her ever-vigilant Wings, and the impressive progress their reconstruction efforts have made since then.
Her dedication is one thing that Ayrenn identifies with, and admires about her – that tireless drive is something Ayrenn carries for the Dominion as well. But there are times when Sielaire's over-exertion worries her, and she has to remind the battlereeve to slow down, and breathe. Which, come to think of it, Sielaire does for her as well – stopping Ayrenn's jagged pacing around her study in the early hours of the morning, taking the reports from her hands, and offering to take the Queen's burdens upon her own shoulders.
Ayrenn smiles at the memory of Sielaire's sincere, reassuring gaze, set in that stoic countenance of hers. Does she know how much Ayrenn loves that in her? To see that softness break through Sielaire's reserved demeanour, for her, and her alone? No, Ayrenn suspects she doesn't. The Queen can still see it in her, the restraint that holds her back. Sielaire reacts rather than acts, and when she acts, there is a look in her eye as if she's waiting to be stopped, to be pushed away. Her embraces pull Ayrenn close as quickly as she is willing to let go. Her touches are light and reverent, but never venture far without encouragement. Her kisses remain sweet and chaste, before Ayrenn stokes her desire, asking for more.
Sielaire is cautious, and Ayrenn understands. For all she knows – in spite of Ayrenn's affections – this may just be a casual affair for the Queen. Something to pass the time, with Sielaire helping to work off the stress laden on her, day after day. Ayrenn shares the same fear, because that was her intent when she started this relationship; she'd wanted physical intimacy, and who better to share it with, than a powerful and loyal battlereeve, whose beauty has caught her eye since the very beginning?
She doesn't deny that simple desire, and she's afraid that she is using Sielaire's convenient presence for companionship. But at the same time, she finds herself yearning for more; a want, a need that grows deeper with each passing day. She becomes keenly aware of that empty space when Sielaire is not around, and misses the battlereeve while she's tending to her own duties. And when Sielaire is with her, she feels those playful urges to tease and coax a reaction from the unflappable soldier. She wants to speak with Sielaire, to hear the calm commander's voice adopt that gentle tone with her. She wants to feel the brush of Sielaire's scar on her lips as they kiss, to feel the safety of the soldier's arms around her.
Or, as it is now, to have Sielaire in her embrace.
Ayrenn squeezes her lover gently, careful not to wake her up. Then she sweeps one hand over the room, and a quick breeze extinguishes the candles in their stands, leaving them in darkness illuminated by soft moonlight. She traces random patterns on Sielaire's stomach with her fingertips, then trails up an arm, running the back of her fingers along the smooth skin of Sielaire's neck. Ayrenn caresses her cheek, then reaches up to play with the tip of her ear, imagining how it would twitch slightly at her touch if Sielaire is awake.
She cherishes times like these, when she can be with Sielaire – just be. No expectations, no fevered touches, no idle banter to pass the time. Just the two of them, and an implicit trust that binds them together. If only she could stop time, to stay in this simple state of bliss forever.
Ayrenn sighs, then shifts under Sielaire to get comfortable in the chaise. She drapes an arm over Sielaire's chest in a loose hug, and presses a kiss to her head.
"Sweet dreams, my heart."
Ayrenn has been scarce since noon, and Sielaire's suspicions are confirmed when she passes Urcelmo in the hallway, her fellow battlereeve mentioning that the Queen has sequestered herself in her private library. He grimaces when Sielaire asks about the Thalmor meeting, and his reaction is proof enough that Ayrenn had emerged from it with less than a good mood. Urcelmo wears a look of trepidation after learning her intent to seek the Queen out anyway, and he pats her on the shoulder, as though for good luck.
The guards by the library's doors – already familiar with her – allow Sielaire entry without protest. And though they know this battlereeve possesses…special privileges with the Queen, Sielaire still detects an air of dread about them as she passes through.
The library is, in essence, the Queen's sanctuary, where she will retreat when she needs time to herself. It is a space that she guards fiercely, and she allows access only to a precious few friends who, in turn, have the benefit of lounging in what could be the most comfortable and homely den in the palace – second to the Queen's bedchambers. Shelves of books collected from all across Tamriel line the walls, stacked two stories high. Small study tables with writing implements are placed strategically at each wall on both levels. Ayrenn's main study desk is set before the windows, with the Aldmeri crown sitting on its dark mahogany surface, bathing in the gentler rays of the late afternoon sun. Near the desk, a fur carpet is laid out on the floor beside the hearth, which remains unlit.
A quick glance around yields no trace of the Queen, so Sielaire walks out to the garden terrace behind the library, and finds her quarry sitting cross-legged beside a flower bed. Her entrance attracts Ayrenn's attention, but the Queen's heartened expression is marred by a frown, when her eyes fall to the report in Sielaire's hand.
"I'll handle this," Sielaire says quickly. Taking lead from Ayrenn's past example, she raises the scroll and tosses it carelessly through the window, where it lands on the study desk.
A bright smile spreads across Ayrenn's face as she lets out a short laugh, and gestures for Sielaire to join her. She waits for Sielaire to settle on the floor beside her, then gives her partner a kiss. "You've no idea how glad I am to see you."
"Did the meeting go that badly?" Sielaire asks, circling an arm around Ayrenn.
"Badly? No, not really. Just…frustrating." She sighs sharply. "Everyone's fighting and demanding a piece of the world for themselves…as usual."
"And you?"
Ayrenn huffs. "I just want a peace of mind." She leans her head against Sielaire's, but only briefly, before she jerks away to peer at her partner. "And…"
"Hm?"
Ayrenn seems to hesitate. "One of them asked if I'm to wed."
Sielaire's heart plummets, her body growing cold even with the sun's warmth on her skin. But Ayrenn smiles with a humour that Sielaire can't bring herself to feel.
"Relax, dear." Ayrenn touches her cheek. "I've said it'll be a long time before it happens. And we can't indulge in such luxuries with a war brewing on the horizon."
After, then? Sielaire wants to ask, but chokes before she even takes a breath. Her gaze drops, and is guided back up by gentle fingers under her chin.
"Are you upset?"
Sielaire stares at her, suddenly fragile, quivering imperceptibly from the uncertainty. 'And I love you,' Ayrenn has told her, an affirmation to Sielaire's confession weeks ago. But the words still ring so clearly in Sielaire's ears, as if Ayrenn has spoken them just moments before. She relives that moment in her mind every day, smiles at Ayrenn's reaffirmation every night, takes heart from their love every second in between. And that which has emboldened her, completed her so, now threatens to shatter her into pieces.
Upset? No. She is…afraid.
Sielaire swallows thickly, unaware of the brooding frown that creases her brows. "I…will stand by you, whatever you may choose to do."
A wan smile parts Ayrenn's lips, as she laughs under her breath. "My stalwart warrior, ready to cleave her own heart in two when her Queen so commands." She strokes the scar on Sielaire's mouth with her fingertip – an idle habit she enjoys while they're together. "Don't worry, love." Ayrenn moves her hand down to rest on Sielaire's chest. "Your heart is safe with me."
Sielaire smiles weakly, and tries to hide her dismay with a soft kiss.
"I love you, Sie," Ayrenn whispers, and Sielaire's heart twists painfully.
She catches Ayrenn in another kiss – with sharp and desperate ardour, as if to sear her love onto Ayrenn's lips, onto her very soul. Ayrenn threads her fingers in Sielaire's hair, drawing her impossibly close, moaning softly at the nip of teeth on her lip. Sielaire hears the breathy sigh of her name, and she tugs Ayrenn into a tight embrace, the Queen practically sitting in her lap, as Sielaire's tongue delves in.
If only you were mine. All mine. If only–
"Your Majesty, Councilor Norinil requests an audience."
Ayrenn groans her frustration into Sielaire's mouth, knocking her fist into the soldier's sturdy pauldron. She breaks the kiss with a heavy sigh, wearing an impressive scowl to match.
"Are you going to–?" Sielaire asks, fingers digging unconsciously into the fabric of Ayrenn's shirt.
"I'd better. It must be urgent enough for him to bother me here," Ayrenn mutters. She takes a deep breath to compose herself, then laughs softly at the slight, defeated curve of Sielaire's lips. "We'll resume our…discussion later, alright?"
Sielaire gives her another smile, despite the faint twinge in her chest. Shifting onto her feet before Ayrenn can move, Sielaire lifts the Queen in her arms effortlessly. She receives a kiss on her cheek as she walks indoors, and sets Ayrenn down in her chair behind the desk. Taking the crown in her hands, she places it carefully on Ayrenn's head, and leans back to look her over with a discerning eye. Ayrenn raises her brows, and Sielaire answers with a satisfied nod, before cupping her cheek and giving her one last peck on the lips.
"Come to my room tonight?" Ayrenn asks.
"Of course," Sielaire murmurs. She smooths a hand over Ayrenn's blonde tresses, then moves away to take her position at a corner of the library, standing at attention. Ayrenn catches her eye, and she nods in the affirmative.
Queen Ayrenn turns her head towards the door, her commanding presence reasserting itself in the simple, upward tilt of her chin, and the straightening of her shoulders.
"Enter."
A/N: The Summerset trailer came out and Sie was in it and she has a voice now I'm STILL SCREAMING AAAAHHHHH SHE SOUNDS SO GOOD I CAN'T TAKE IT HALP
Also idk if she's gonna be added into the game for real? If she is, there might be a name change in the future... I'll see when I play the expansion for myself...until then, AAAAHHHHHH