This is Perhaps one of the Eva Teams most greatest One Ever!
Chapter 23: Misatos Sed-Ed (Double Team by TheRoyalFamilyI and GARHUNT05)
Misato: Because of the up-coming class trip, I have decided, as your teacher, to turn today's homeroom into a sex-ed class. We are going to cover everything from why you shouldn't do it at your age to the proper methods and best positions.
Asuka: Uh, why exactly are we doing this?
Misato: I know you don't want to hear this. However, I don't want you kids to end up like me, in college being taught by a pervert-
Rei: Aren't all boys perverts?
Misato: Yes. This is why I am doing this. I know I'm not exactly the most clean one here, but I can speak from experience - lots of experience. I don't want you ladies (or gentlemen) to be caught with only, maybe, some awkward encounters, and a head full of strange ideas from your pornography.
Shinji: But however could we get that to view it? We are underage - we would never do anything of the sort.
Misato: Very cute. I happen to know for a fact, Shinji, that you have the largest collection of all, and that you share it with everyone here.
Asuka: Oooohhhh! How embarassing
Misato: You're one to talk. I caught you with a small stash of stuff yourself - and it all had Shinji's name on it.
Shinji: So you DID lose that stuff! You said Hikari's sisters stole it!
Asuka: ...
Shinji: Those were the crown jewels to my sapphic collection...
Rei: Awkward...
Misato: Yes, this will be awkward. This will be embarassing. This will be humiliating. But I must do it.
Asuka: But why?
Misato: We will be going to one of the most romantic, most sensual places I can think of. There are twenty of you, and only one of me. Teenage hormones are bad enough, but you kids aren't used to them yet, and they can overcome the weaker wills of resistance - what wills there are, in our destination. I have a nose for these things, and will stop it when I can, but I can't be in more than one place at once. I know a few of you to keep my eye on - Shinji-
Shinji: Why me!
Misato: I can think of five young ladies (and may a boy or two) in this room that must be into you in some degree or another - otherwise, I don't know how they would tolerate you.
Kaworu: That's really mean, Ms. Katsuragi.
Misato: It's the truth.
Shinji: Hmm...Asuka, Rei, Hikari, Mana...I can only think of four.
Misato: ...There is another, I know...
Rei: Who?
Misato: ...I'm not telling. Point is, any one of these ladies might lose their composure and will to resist (hell, I think they spray pherimones in the air there), so I am keeping an eye on you especially. This doesn't mean I won't be watching the rest of you.
Asuka: Well, I know that I won't be giving myself to Shinji, I and I am pretty sure I can speak for Hikari, too.
Hikari: Um...
Asuka: I wouldn't put it past Mana, though.
Mana: Heh...
Rei: Over my dead body, hussy
Mana: Bring it on, freak-girl!
Misato: STOP IT! This is entertaining and all, but save it for the trip - or at least lunch.
Rei:
Misato: Now, let's start at the beginning - abstinance. Nothing bad can happen if you just don't do it. I know you all might "love" each other, or whatever, but sex will totally make things weird for a while. I am pretty sure that you don't want that. Plus, you are just way too young. If something were to happen, you have a long time to regret it. That, and I can all but guaruntee it won't be as fun as you would think. I doubt any of you boys would last longer than a couple of minutes, and the girls need a lot more time than that!
Toji: Really?
Misato: Absolutely. This isn't just about you - it's about her, too. Which brings me to my next point - condums. Since I figure I won't be able to stop all of you, I should educate you on this subject. Unfortunately, all I can use is these pictures.
Asuka: Gross!
Misato: That's what I thought - at first. Anyways, they always use vegetables to demonstrate, but trust me, that's not good. Nobody is that big-
Shinji: I might be...
Misato: No, you aren't. Also, they are totally the wrong shape. It leads to wrong methods. I wish I could do a live demonstration, but that leads to problems-
Toji: I'll do it!
Misato: I figured you would volunteer.
Shinji: Toji has no shame
Misato: But the problems would be for the people watching - and their parents, so I can't. And it's quite important, too - proper methods mean maximum effectiveness. It's when you mess up that they mess up - and that would be terrible! I don't want any of you girls getting pregnant with twins at fifteen while the father goes off to be a secret agent somewhere, and you have to suffer the humiliation of being a schoolteacher
Hikari: You got pregnant! As a teenager?
Rei: Being a schoolteacher is a humiliation?
Shinji: Mr. Kaji is a secret agent?
Misato: I SAID NOTHING ABOUT KAJI! ...And I didn't say it was me, either.
Asuka: Weren't you listening? She said she didn't learn until college, so it couldn't be her.
Hikari: Oh, right. The pervert who taught her must have been Mr. Kaji, then.
Asuka:
Misato: Quiet, young lady!
Asuka: So...who were you talking about, then?
Misato: Uh...my older sister.
Shinji: But you don't have an older sister. You're an only child.
Misato: Fine. But she sure was like an older sister, especially after my parents died.
Shinji: I wonder who that could be...
Asuka: ...You aren't talking about Mrs. Ikari, are you?
Misato: ...Maybe...
Asuka: Shinji's mom!
Rei: Mother!
Asuka: She isn't your mother...
Rei: She will be, one day
Mana:
Rei:
Shinji: Huh...I remember when I was really little, my mom was a teacher...
Asuka: His dad was a secret agent?
Misato: Yup. How do you think he became the head of NERV? By being a good scientist?
Shinji: I was wondering about that. He's freaking genius, but not much of a scientist.
Rei: What was that about twins again? Do you mean there is another guy like Shinji out there?
Misato: No; it was a girl.
Shinji: ...So I have a sister?
Misato: Yup.
Shinji: I wonder why my parents never told me...
Misato: Your mother doesn't like to think of it. She gave the girl up for adoption, and very much regrets it now. We have no idea where she is now...
Shinji: That's too bad.
Misato: ...Now where were we? Oh, yes, condums. Like I said, you don't want to become a teenage mother, so wear a freaking condum, and do it right!
Hikari: Question.
Misato: Yes?
Hikari: What if you aren't doing anything that would get you pregnant?
Misato: Trust me, things can go seriously wrong with any plan. You want him to wear one, and wearing one yourself wouldn't be such a bad idea, either.
Hikari: I think you misunderstood me. What I am thinking of, you just can't get pregnant...
Misato: ...Oh I see. Why are you asking, if I may ask?
Hikari: ...Uh...just curious, is all...asking a hypothetical...
Misato: ...Well, condums are also there so you don't get nasty diseases. However, if you don't have (or carry) any such diseases, you can't spread them. Still, better safe than sorry.
Hikari: I think we're in the clear.
Asuka: Hmph. Like you'll be getting any from me, with that attitude.
Misato: ...OK...That explains the porn I found on her... Did I answer your question, then?
Hikari: I think so, yes.
Misato: ...Good. Onto posistions and foreplay...
Misato: ok males know that women are very sensitive to the touch all over aour bodies this is due to the fact we are smaller than males but have the same amount of nerv endings.
Toji: Asuka Sensitive Yeah right
Asuka: throws book at toji
Toji: ahh my groin
Misato: that bring up another point males are sensitive the most in the groin area as are females, however a man can only experience ogasm through stimulation of the bleep.
Toji: it hurts
Rei Quiet you!
Misato: Ahem women however are not only sensitive in the groin area but also the breasts, earlobes hair roots, inner thighs, feet, hands and lips. prettymuch women are walking ogasm machines!(some women ogasm by thought alone!)
Shinji: then why is it so hard to make a woman reach it.
Misato: tha'ts becaus most men focus on penetration and not foreplay since they are only sensitive in that one area.
Kenske: I've figured it out the other woman is Mayumi
Shinji: who?
Kenske: Mayumi you know the girl who talks less than Rei
Mayumi:blushing at least I read
Rei:you look here B!tch Shinji is mine so stay away
Misato: listen lets save the catfights for outside I'm trying to help you all here.
Everyone yes ma'am
Misato: ok Foreplay should be taken seriously and should last at least 15-20 minutes
Shinji:what ifwe just want a quickie?
Misato: you gotta learn how to take it slow before you do it fast and belive me if you go staight for it it will be a quickie
Shinji: don't underestamate me
Misato: anyway after Foreplay should be Cunnulingus wich is Oral performed on a woman
Toji: still realling isn't that part of foreplay
Misato: contrary to poular belief no its not it is a nother part of a "love making" session. now Guys I am strapped for time here so I'll say this have a steady rythm, us fingers libberally and DO NOT go straight for the bleep it will just end up bad for the both of you.now on to fellatio whic is simple girls you svck his bleep and the sam rule applies to joo as well.
Everyone: ooooooo
misato: now putting on a condum is quite simple since it's on the back of the fecking box,; roll it down an erect penls and take it off when you are "finished".
toji: time for the demonstration
Misato: I think you won't be "up to it" for a while toji
Toji: ouch that hurts misato
Mayumi: throws another book at toji hits him in the heade kncoking him out
Shinji: that was unneccessary
Mayumi: we need to get back to the lesson.
Misato: ok kid now I need another volunteer...Kaworu get up here
Kaworu: me
Misato: yes we all know a woman's touch means nothing to you.
Shinji: (whispering) what does that mean?
Asuka:
Kaworugoes to the front of the class
Misato: now for the demonstration, ok Now everyone pay attention thyis is how you put on a condom first open the wrapper then squeeze the tpand place it on the head now roll it down and you're done. simple
Kaworu:
Asuka: he seems too happy
Kaworu
Shinji: wayyy too happy
Misato: ok Kaworu you may go back to your desk
Kaworu: um may I go to the hall I need to finish something
Misatok heres the hall pass
Kaworu: thank you
Misatok now on to positions, I'll need a couple volunteers for this one...Kenske and Rei get up here
Rei: no wai Shinji-kun is the only one I want to "Demonstrate" with
Asuka:tough nuggies you get the gun nut nerd
Mana: just go ahead Rei its not like you'll be naked
Mayumi: it's probably the best kenske is gonna get
Misato: just get up here
Rei: alright
Kenske: Al-right!(giggiddy giggiddy goo)
Misato: ok now I'll clear off my desk
kenske clears off misaot's desk ith one arm yet everythin stays in place and neatly falls on the floor
Kenske:I'ver been practicing
Misato: I see, anyway Rei sit on the edge of my desk and kenske stand infront of her
is done
Kenske: he
Rei
Misato: this position is one of my faves I forgot the name but it allows for the male to use his hands for extended foreplay plus deep penetration.
Everyone:takes notes
Misato:now Rei lay on the the desk and kenske lay ontop of her.
all the guys:woot
all the girls: ugh
Misato: this is called "male superoir" in which the male is on top this is traditional positions with many variations that we do not have time to get into detail but it does mean that a couple can have a make-out session during but tha't about it.
Rei: somethings hitting me
Misato: just dealwith it rei, now kenske you lay on the desk while Rei gets on top
is done
Everyone: OO oohhhhhhhhhh
Misato: this is called "Female superior" in which the female is on top and she is in control of penatration experience women such asd myself love this posotiton since I go till I want to stop
Mana: TMI Misato
Misato: shut-up I'm almost don tiwht the lesson
Rei: woat ever is hitting me got harder
Misato: uh-oh we'd better hurry up then, ok rei now get off kenske-
Shinji: more like "Get Kenske off"
Asuka: shut up perv we all know that's happening
Misato: ok Rei bend over and Kenske get behind her
is done
Kenske: this is the best class ever
Misato: thgis is called "doggy style" as you can see the male is in almost complete control of penatration here tough he can let the girl "drive" so to speak. this particular position allows for deep penatration and I do mean deeep. and since it's not too intimate it is also great foir quickies and doing strangers
Asuka: and how would you know this?
Misato: Shinji's mom told me
Shini: (pissed look)
Misato: maybe I shouldn't have said that anyway that is the full lesson I hape that on the class trip you act respansibly
Kaworu:with ear being held um misato I think we have a problem
Pricipal: I wna to know what this young man was doin in the hall with a condum on his bleep wanking off, why that young man is on the floor in his underwear, all your stuff is off your desk, why these two students are dry hvmping and who are you?
Misato: um...jumps out window