Title: No Use Running
Rating: PG
Pairing: Jate, of course.
Prompt: Snow, a fight, and a happy (but not fluffy) ending for the Jate ficathon on livejournal.
Words: 1305
Disclaimer: If I owned Lost, Jack and Kate would have been together a long time ago.
Author's Note: This is my first Lost fic, and I'm feeling quite self-conscious about it, so please be kind. Constructive criticism would be appreciated. This is set sometime shortly after What Kate Did. It took me quite a while to get inspired with this, but I think I've finally managed to create something halfway decent. I hope you enjoy.
Kate's eyes flutter open slowly, taking a moment to adjust to the unnatural brightness. For a second she has no idea where she is, and her body immediately tenses up, a natural defense mechanism developed from years spent as a fugitive. She sits up straight and takes in her surroundings, relaxing a little when she sees that she appears to be in some sort of cabin. Four wooden walls surround her, and there is no furniture to speak of in the place, which explains why she woke up on the hard floor. The complete lack of stiffness that would normally result from sleeping in such a position is the first hint that she might be dreaming.
Her eyes roam around slowly, trying to discover the source of the mysterious bright light that's seeping into the cabin. She slowly climbs to her feet, absentmindedly brushing off her worn jeans, and stumbles to the door across the room, pulling it open slowly. What she finds surprises her. She's still not sure where she is. It might be the island, but it's hard to tell when everything is covered with a thick, white blanket of snow.
She hesitantly reaches her bare foot out and it sinks down into the fluffy whiteness, which feels cool and oddly comforting on her skin. Putting one foot in front of the other, she proceeds carefully, fascinated. At one point she realizes with a start that she is no longer wearing her worn-out jeans and tank top, but instead a simple white dress that flows to just past her knees. Okay, definitely dreaming.
After walking for some time she finally spots something in the distance. A person- a man, just standing there as if he's waiting for her. Her heartbeat picks up slightly and she begins to walk faster, sending small amounts of snow flying in her wake. She stumbles a few times but never falls, determined to see who is waiting for her, even though deep down she already knows.
As she gets closer she can finally make out Jack, standing there with his hands clasped neatly behind his back, his face serene as he watches her. She picks up her speed a little more, suddenly desperate to close the distance between them.
It doesn't take long before she realizes something's wrong. She keeps walking...but Jack doesn't appear to be getting any closer. She can still barely make out his face. She begins to jog, moving with some difficulty through the snow, her feet sliding across the slippery wetness, but she doesn't stop, only runs faster. She cries out when she realizes her efforts are futile and Jack is still just as far away from her as ever.
"Jack!" Kate gasps, waking up with a start, panting as if she had really just run all of that distance in the snow. She breathes heavily, shaking from the nightmare. And then she feels a hand on her shoulder. Jack is staring down at her, his eyes wide with fear and concern. Wordlessly, she throws her arms around him, clinging tightly, so relieved that he's here, within her reach. It was only a dream.
"Sshhh, it's okay," he says softly, hugging her back. After a minute she reluctantly pulls back, taking in her surroundings for the first time. The hatch. I remember now, I was sleeping in the hatch. Her eyes find his and she realizes this is the first intimate moment they've shared since the kiss in the jungle, something that still inspired very confusing feelings when she thought back on it.
"What happened?" he prods gently, absentmindedly brushing a stray lock of hair behind her ear.
And in the space of a second, the emotional, unrestrained Kate is gone, and the guarded girl on the run is back. "It's nothing," she says quickly.
His face hardens, and he takes a step back. "You woke up shaking and yelling my name, Kate. I don't think it's nothing."
"Well I'm okay now," she mutters, getting out of the bed and moving to the sink, planning on getting herself a glass of water.
She's surprised to hear him curse under his breath. "Dammit, Kate. Why can't you ever just talk to me? Why do you always have to run away?"
She freezes a little, shocked to hear him actually accuse her like that. "I'm not running away," she says defensively, slamming a glass down on the counter with a little more force than necessary before turning on the water.
"Yes you are. You're running away now, just like..." he stops himself, either not wanting to say it or not sure how to describe what had happened between them.
"Well that's because running is what I do, Jack. Running is my life. I'm not meant for anything else." She fills the glass to the brim with water and downs half of it in one gulp. Maybe that was what the dream had meant. It was her place in life to keep running, and because of that what she wanted most would always be just out of her grasp.
Or maybe it was trying to tell her that she was only getting farther and farther away from Jack as the days went on, and if she didn't do something about it now, she might lose him for good.
"Well in case you haven't noticed, you don't have to run anymore. We're pretty much stuck out here, maybe for...a long time. You don't have to be afraid, Kate," Jack says, his expression almost pitying.
She hates it when people pity her.
"Yeah, so there's no need to be afraid of the polar bears, and monsters in the jungle, and Others that abduct people from under our noses," she says sarcastically, filling the cup again.
He's quiet for a moment, not finding her attempt at a joke funny. "Why did you run away that day, Kate?" He doesn't need to elaborate because he knows she is aware of exactly what he's talking about.
She refuses to meet his eyes. "I'm sorry."
"Sorry for what? Sorry that you kissed me, or sorry that you ran?" he asks quietly.
Kate finally looks at him. "Both."
He blinks at that, but his expression remains fairly inscrutable. "Well if you regret it, then why did you do it?"
"Because I wanted to," she shoots back, a little harsher than she intended. "I was upset, and I just wanted to...to feel something."
It's quiet for nearly a minute before Jack speaks. "Well what if I told you I wasn't sorry?" She only stares at him, not knowing what to think, let alone say. He takes a few steps closer to her, so that only the counter separates them. "Kate...I hate seeing you like this. Waking up scared to death...you don't have to be, because I won't let anything happen to you. But in order for me to do that, you need to let me in and stop pushing me away."
She honestly doesn't know what to say. It's not the first time someone has promised to protect her, but it is the first time she's believed that they really mean it. She feels herself relax slightly. "I'll try," she finally says.
He cracks the tiniest hint of a smile. "That's all I wanted to hear." He thinks for a moment. "Let's get out of here. We can take a walk or something." After a moment's hesitation he holds out his hand.
She stares at it for a second before taking it, despite all the instinctive voices in her head screaming at her not to. She's not used to letting her guard down.
She's not used to allowing herself a chance at happiness. But as she slowly follows him out of the hatch, her hand safe in his, she decides that maybe it's time to try.