Disclaimer: I do not own Ranma ½, Birdy the Mighty, Tenchi Muyo, or Dirty Pair Flash.

Author's Notes: Yet another chapter of Kikuko the Mighty! Where do I find the time to write? Since even I don't know let's just forget and enjoy the story. As always, remember to tip your waitress and enjoy the show!

Kikuko the Mighty

Chapter 5

The sunlight filtered in through the window, casting a pool of light and warmth across the room. Insistent rays of sunshine poked at the sleeping girl's eyelids. With a sigh of sleepy protestation she reluctantly opened her eyes. She squirmed into the bed to get comfortable again, but that was ruined. The redhead grumbled in frustration as she sat up sleepily, her bleary eyes scanning the room.

"This isn't my bedroom." She thought sleepily. Kikuko Saotome, Heir to the Anything Goes Martial Arts, was confused. Her dad had taught her to think on her feet so she got up. Perhaps she was taking it too literally, but it also showed her that she was dressed, but in a pair of pajamas with Sailor Moon on them. Her clothes were nowhere to be found; still someone had left her wallet and the other things from her pockets on the nightstand. Since her sleepwear didn't have pockets she simply put everything into subspace. She crept into the hallway and slowly made her way downstairs, feet silent in the fuzzy sleepers she found in the closet. As she got closer to the kitchen she heard two voices she faintly recognized.

"Where's Ranma this morning, Mother?" the one voice asked.

"He's off to work. He said that you should keep an eye on our guest. The poor boy doesn't understand how she got the name Saotome." The other voice said. As she went to peek her head around the corner, a hand dropped onto her shoulder from out of nowhere. The girl squealed in shock before executing a rapid-fire series of punches on the person behind her. She finally took notice of the fat martial artist who crept up on her. It looked like Grandpa Genma, but younger.

"What's going on?" an auburn-haired woman asked as she rounded the corner.

"Stay back Mother!" a red-haired girl said as she leapt between the two. Kikuko had a sinking feeling as she realized the more menacing girl looked just like her. Dad always said she looked like her mother and now she understood why.

"H-hey…Sorry 'bout this…" she stammered, but impulsiveness seems to run in the family. The police officer girl barreled at her opponent so fast that the air seemed to warp around her just before a snap kick sent her flying out into the backyard. In a thrice, she was back on her feet in a ready stance. The displaced redhead was automatically ready to defend herself, but a part of her didn't want to hurt her mom. Apparently her mom had no such qualms.

"The name's Birdy and harming people under this roof is forbidden." She stood in a side stance with her fists at her hips and her elbows bent slightly. The wind blew through her hair and Kikuko had an idea of what criminals felt when they saw her mom ready to square off.

"We got off on the wrong foot…" perhaps diplomacy would work. When the air warped around Birdy from her furious charge, she knew it wouldn't. A rapid series of forearm blocks kept the Katchu Tenshin Amaguriken from pulverizing her, but the return Dragon's Claw blow dealt to the solar plexus sent the stunned policewoman reeling. 'If fighting makes her feel better…' the time traveling martial artist thought before executing a perfect diagonal spear kick. Birdy warped away in time to avoid the drop, but the sudden roundhouse caught her in the side of her head and sent her spinning to the ground.

"W-well…you're something else…" the girl panted as she sized up her older looking opponent. Birdy leapt back to her feet, thrusting her arms out and crying "Moko Takabisha!" The ball of blue confidence ki flew with lightning speed for the other girl, hammering her flat into the ground. Kikuko could definitely understand why criminals avoided fighting back, but this was just something she couldn't let go. Mom had always been her idol and the reason she practiced the martial arts. Her mother was unbelievably graceful, but could hit like a tsunami. She got back to her feet with tears in her eyes. A swirling vortex of black and purple chi swirled around her. Birdy seemed taken aback by the strange sensations radiating from her. It wasn't the Shishi Hokodan that was for certain.

"This…ends…now…" the girl grated out "Sorry 'bout this…Dark Star Evolution!" she suddenly slashed her arms down, fingers splayed out with the malevolent chi gathering around her hands before rocketing out like a straight beam. With horror she suddenly realized the attack was too powerful for her mother's current level of ki. She tried to stem the lethal tide, but the attack got away from her. Just as the attack reached Birdy a blue blur shot between the two and slapped the attack away as if it were nothing.

"What the hell is goin' on?" Ranma asked in a deadly voice. Kikuko almost wet herself before breaking down in tears. The vengeful boy stared in shock as the girl bowed so low her forehead was touching the ground sobbing out "Gomen nasai" repeatedly. He wasn't feeling too forgiving just then. The pigtailed police officer was returning from a busy morning of work to find the two redheads duking it out and then noticed the blast of powerful anger ki rocketing for Birdy. The girl was obviously sorry, but what bothered him was what could have set her off?

"Ranma…?" Birdy asked as she tentatively laid a hand on his still glowing shoulder.

"What happened here?" he asked quietly.

"Father caught her sneaking around and went to question her, but when he grabbed her she flung him outside. I was trying to protect the house." Birdy said, but realized even as she said it that the one at fault was her. The girl on the ground would have cut a comedic picture if she weren't so obviously sorry. Ranma gave her a look before going over to the girl.

"I'm Ranma. Sorry 'bout this." He said with a smile. Kikuko picked her head up.

"Kikuko." She replied. The pigtailed youth took her hand and helped her stand up, but a small stumble made her fall against him. Birdy instantly snarled, but a voice broke the awkward moment.

"Nihao airen!" Shampoo called out cheerfully as she sailed over the backyard of the house. It was a surprise when she didn't even stop to talk, but apparently she was in the mood for throwing water balloons. She had lobbed several at him. He was soaking wet and he felt something was vaguely wrong. When he went to look at the girl who fell into him, he found a man instead.

"Gah!" he shouted intelligently as he stared at the black haired young man who had involuntarily hugged him. He seemed slight of build as if made for speed.

"What?" the young man asked before blinking in confusion. He cleared his throat a few times before staring in shock. Birdy was pretty sure the man was a woman and braced herself for the fireworks.

"You have a curse?" Ranma asked.

"I didn't before now! That bitch!" the boy was suddenly incensed. Without thinking he stepped back and manifested his ARMS II. The armor had reconfigured for Kikuko's different form.

"Wait!" the policewoman cried but her pleas fell on deaf ears as she watched the girl-turned-boy hurtle into the sky. Ranma groaned.

"I just got back… Ah hell!" he griped as he took off after her. With a shrug, Birdy leapt after him. Anyone watching this would shrug and say.

"Life's like that in Nerima."

Near the Nekohanten-

Shampoo was thrilled with her brilliant plan. The nannichuan that the guide delivered was exactly what she needed to get that redheaded girl who stole her man. It had actually been shipped for Mousse because Cologne was going to remove his curse, but let the blind fool suffer longer. Her steps were halted when she got a good look at who was in front of her. Elder Cologne was tapping her foot with a grim look of determination. The purple-haired girl knew she was in trouble, but it was worth it.

"Shampoo. Where did Mousse's nannichuan go?" she asked, already knowing the answer.

"I removed obstacle." Shampoo replied with a smug smile. It didn't hurt to tell the truth, besides it was less painful than lying to the diminutive old woman.

"I thought we agreed that it was a better idea to keep him as an ally, but this most certainly alienated him and his chosen. They could have been formidable allies and you have just made them insurmountable foes! Where is your head?" the aging matriarch exploded in sheer rage and fear until a terrible sound reached her ears. It sounded like a cry of rage fit to tear the heavens asunder. Gold lightning arced around the two just seconds before it all went to hell.

"What this?" Shampoo asked in fear as a figure clad in menacing armor descended slowly from the sky.

"The answer for your actions…" her great grandmother told her in awe and horror.

"You." Was all the figure said in a terrible voice. The hand pointed at Shampoo's chest with a ball of pure life force gathering in her palm. Gold tinged with crimson. Just before the shot could be fired a chain wrapped around the being's wrist and jerked the hand skyward, firing the shot wildly. The armored figure snarled before yanking the chain downward violently, since it was ki enhanced the chain didn't snap, but it did whip the myopic boy out from behind and into the ground.

"Mousse stupid male! Shampoo fight!" the Chinese girl snarled before rushing the attacker with her bonborri. It was extremely one-sided as the bonborri whipped about in a deft series of strikes with the armor clad figure blocking and guarding the whole time waiting for an opening. The moment that Shampoo's attack faltered was when the strange figure blurred into action by executing a perfect back-flip kick to her jaw, sending her up in the air, before a dizzying series of punches and kicks kept her suspended in mid-air.

"How do you like that?" the person asked casually before unleashing a sudden spin kick to her abdomen, flinging her beside her great grandmother. Cologne didn't even try to fight which should have told the girl something. The vengeful figure walked over, even with the added weight he moved with a fluid grace that made it seem as if his feet didn't even touch the ground. The old woman hadn't lived as long as she had by picking fights with people who outclassed her that bad. The figure seemed to scan over the old woman, but didn't find what he was looking for.

"Birdy?" Cologne asked. The person simply shook his head. Ranma and Birdy making it to the scene in full combat regalia interrupted any further conversation. Practiced eyes swept the battlefield for serious casualties, but all they found was a slammed Mousse and a pummeled Shampoo. They looked much worse than they actually were.

"Okay…Calm down…Remove the power armor…" Ranma instructed calmly even though he was visibly tensed for battle. His girlfriend didn't seem too much better. They were both ready for the psychotic episode that they knew would come, but they weren't prepared for what happened next. The person complied. The armor retracted into the bracelet revealing Kikuko's male form. Cologne gaped in astonishment. The person looked just like Ranma!

"What is this?" she asked in wonderment. The Saotomes looked at each other, present and future before deciding it was best if they explained inside.

Inside-

The closed sign was hung in the window as four people sat around a table in the backroom. It was a gathering to give information and get answers. Shampoo and Mousse were excluded due to recovering from their injuries (also Cologne was slightly put out with them). Hot water had been applied and Kikuko was restored to her normal gender, much to everyone's relief. Her resemblance to Ranma was uncanny.

"So my granddaughter mistook you for Birdy. Easy to do I suppose even if that doesn't excuse what she did. I am truly sorry, but even if we were to give you drowned girl water…"

"…The curses would just fuse. Thanks, but I'd rather be half a woman than half a freak." Kikuko said bitterly. There was nothing to say to that statement so they pressed on.

"Who are you?" Birdy asked. Simple enough question. Yeah right.

"I am Officer Kikuko Saotome of the Galaxy Police and apparently part-time boy now." She tried to make it sound humorous, but failed. The bitter twist to her lips couldn't be considered a smile.

"Yeah, we read your ID card and badge, but how are you a Saotome?" Ranma asked. This was the big question. The police officer in her wanted to hold tight to that information while the child in her wanted to tell her mother and father everything. It didn't help she wanted her mother to hold her. Finally the child won out.

"…I fell through a temporal rift while fighting Kagato and came back from the future. I'm your daughter." She lowered her head, afraid of what she would see. Her mother was absolutely amazed. 'This is our child? She's so beautiful and talented! Oh the poor dear is so scared of how we'll react…' she thought as maternal instincts kicked in and she pulled the girl into a hug. Kikuko stiffened briefly before sagging into her mother's arms, clutching her as if she were a rock in a storm and cried. The displaced child was so relieved. Ranma moved his chair near the future girl's and added his own arms to the hug. His thoughts were along the same lines as Birdy's. 'Our daughter…I must have done something right. This girl doesn't have any of my problems and isn't afraid to cry. No one told her it wasn't something a martial artist should do. No one told her that girl's were weaker. Just looking at her…' he smiled as his spirits lifted. He was so scared he would become his father and here was the proof of how wrong he was.

"This is truly a touching scene, but who is this Kagato?" Cologne asked. The Saotomes broke apart a little to give the sandwiched girl some breathing room.

"He's a mad scientist and a space pirate who is wanted across the galaxy for unspeakably heinous crimes committed in the name of science. He once killed an entire space colony just because he wanted to test a new strain of pneumonia. My partner Mihoshi and I had joined up with the Lovely Angels, a team from the 3WA, to investigate a planetary crisis on a vacation world where we ran into him. We managed to drive him off but found out he was heading to Earth. Ranko upgraded our ships to fight him better and…" she was interrupted by Ranma.

"Ranko?" he asked quizzically. The girl groaned at the slip, but she couldn't lie to her parents.

"My little sister. The genius inventor in the family." She replied. The same thought went through her parents' minds 'Genius inventor?'.

"So because of this Kagato person you were thrown through time. The Nanban Mirror could help, but that has been destroyed." Cologne mused. Kikuko's bracelet monitor suddenly began beeping. Everyone peered at the displaced girl as she quickly tapped a few keys.

"What the hell? It says that Mihoshi is here! No…not here…but somewhere close!" she tried to get an exact lock, but failed. The girl set her bracelet to locate the ditzy blonde, but knew that it would be at least a couple days before the damn thing got a lock. She smiled sheepishly at the people watching her.

"Did it say where she is?" Birdy asked. Kikuko shook her head no and sighed. What she wouldn't give to see her blonde friend again. They weren't even apart a day and already she felt a hole where she should be. As well as with Kei, Yuri, Toma, and of course her sister Ranko. At her crestfallen look, Ranma came up with an idea that everyone would like.

"Hey, let's get some ice cream. My treat." He said. Every female in the room looked at him, even Cologne, and it was decided they would tend to that immediately. After all, what could possibly go wrong with a trip to the ice cream shop?

Streets of Nerima-

The Eternal Lost Boy, Ryoga Hibiki, was ecstatic. He had finally saved up enough money for a GPS and it worked even better than he had been told. All he had to do was input the addresses for his friends, and Kasumi (sigh), and he could find his way to them easily. When he caught sight of the ice cream shop he decided to go in. Especially when he saw that Ranma and Birdy were there. They seemed to be laughing and eating ice cream with Cologne and a girl that could have been Birdy's clone. This bore investigating, he decided, as he entered the building and made his way over to them.

"Hey guys." He said with a smile. Gone were the days of shouting stupid slogans and attacking senselessly. Now he was reunited with his old friend. The Lost Boy's appearance had changed since they last saw him. His clothing consisted of highly durable waterproof clothing. A black jean jacket, buttoned shut, and black jeans mysteriously seemed to go well with his normal bandana. It looked fashionable, but it could withstand a collision with a truck and resistant to flames.

"Hey Ryoga. C'mon and sit down!" Ranma waved his old pal into the seat next to the strange redhead. He couldn't wait to tell his friend the great news. Birdy seemed about to burst at the seams as well.

"Hello Ryoga." The elderly matriarch greeted him as she ate an ice cream confection as big as she is. The greetings went around the table with Birdy giving him a big hug which didn't make him as self-conscious as he used to feel. After he had given his order they sat about chewing the fat. Nothing special, just a few old friends having a good time. Just thinking about how things were now as opposed to back then it made the group glad. Kikuko was the odd girl out and felt like she was intruding until Ryoga called attention to her.

"Who's this?" tact still wasn't his strong suit, but he had a good point. They had unintentionally assumed he knew who she was. She felt that normal. When Kikuko told him who she was he couldn't help but grin. If they believed her who was he to question it? Ryoga suddenly remembered something.

"I got somethin' to show ya." He smirked and began rummaging around in his backpack. He didn't notice something pop out of his bag and land with a soft splat on the top of Cologne's dessert. It looked like a strange mushroom. What he pulled out looked like a small black box that when he opened it revealed a simple diamond ring. Everyone made the appropriate noises but everyone laughed when Ranma said.

"She's my girl and ya can't have her." The good humor and congratulations went on for some time until a startled "Mmph!" made them look towards Colonge. She looked humorous with her face twisted up but the hilarity stopped when she began visibly growing, her wrinkled face smoothing out and teeth sprouting in her head. The change took a few moments but the effects would last for a long time to come. When she stopped, she looked to be about thirteen with lavender hair, her eyes that had dimmed with age were once again bright and turned out to be emerald green. She was a very pretty child, but the robe that fit her older self was much shorter on her youthened body. Not even a pin dared to drop in the silence that followed. Someone coughed and the spell was broken. The elder of the Chinese Amazons stared at her younger form and began to shake. It proceeded to become a tremble and a shake that had the startled people ready to hit the deck, but all that happened was that she let out a whoop and finished her ice cream in a thrice.

"Woohoo! Youth is wasted on the young!" she crowed as she began thinking about everything she could do now until she stopped. They were still staring.

"What? Can't I be happy?" she demanded, but somehow Ryoga misinterpreted it.

"I'm so sorry! I didn't know I had one of those! Don't be mad at me!" he pleaded before Kikuko patted his hand.

"She's not upset Uncle Ryoga. If she was than she would be unleashing three thousand years of Amazon history on us." She reassured him.

"She's not upset, but Shampoo might be. Not to mention that now we need to buy her clothes." At the mention of shopping all the girls smiled except Kikuko who looked vaguely terrified. It was a look shared by Ryoga and Ranma.

"I haven't seen Kasumi is a long time…I gotta go!" he high-tailed it out of there with Ranma close on his heels.

"I better make sure he doesn't get lost!" he shouted back. When the boys had left one problem remained.

"She's not wearing any pants." Kikuko pointed out. The other girls sweatdropped.

The Saotome House-

Birdy bounced through the door as if she were high as a kite. It was a good day to go shopping and now she was going to help Mother in the kitchen with dinner. Behind her came Cologne who was dressed in a black sweater and a plaid skirt with black stockings and black shoes. A slim strapped purse crossed her chest and she was just as cheerful as the girl before her. So many people complimented Birdy on her adorable little sister that her head was in the clouds. The last one in was also the most exhausted and disgruntled being on the planet. It was vaguely recognizable as human under the sheer piles of boxes and bags dangling from her arms. Kikuko was thinking about how unfair it was. Her mother insisted she get several dresses even though she was a strict jeans and tee shirt person. If anything it would keep Mihoshi from pestering her to buy a dress. Her little sister didn't understand why she hated to shop but her older brother understood perfectly.

"Kikuko! Cologne! Come quick!" Birdy's voice sounded worried. The girls ran into the kitchen only to find a scene of destruction. It looked as if someone had taken the entire NWC and unleashed them in one room. The policewoman was kneeling on the ground cradling something. As they got closer they could see it was the family katana. She was crying over the loyal blade that bore signs of battle. It was unclear from the evidence if Nodoka was alright or if she was injured but apparently she was thinking the worst. Something about this scene jarred the displaced girl. The level of destruction and the missing woman were strange. This looked like a frenzy but there was no body to back it up. Cologne caught her eye and nodded, her face impassive.

"Mom. Call dad and Ryoga, get them over here. See if they can find anything." Kikuko made the suggestion sound like a command. It put the starch back in her spine and she visibly straightened. It was supposed to get her mind off of what could be and it would also pin her father down so that he couldn't charge about and disrupt the investigation. Whether she liked it or not, she was the only Saotome thinking rationally.

"You don't trust me." Birdy said without turning.

"It's not just you, but dad as well. Even in my time he never fully learned to keep his emotions under control. C'mon Cologne." The time-traveling redhead said and turned to leave.

"Wait." The girl turned back to her mother and found the family katana held out to her with one hand gripping the hilt and the other hand gripping the end of the sheathe. Kikuko gripped the middle.

"Take care of yourself and this blade. I-I don't really have the authority to give this to you but…something tells me it should be with you." Her mother said as she released the weapon. The recipient of the weapon nearly choked on emotion but held her composure before engaging her combat suit and gripping the sheathe in her left hand. During all this Cologne watched Kikuko carefully and followed her out without a word. Once outside she spoke.

"You seemed surprised to see the family honor blade." She remarked. The redhead beside her turned to look at her.

"It disappeared before any of us were born. I was kind of surprised to see it, but I think I know what happened to it." She smiled briefly before leaping for the rooftops.

"…Things are always more interesting around a Saotome…" Cologne quipped before vaulting after her.

End Chapter

Author's Notes: This will be longer than I expected, but that's okay. This story has no clear conclusion as of yet. Next chapter will bring the conclusion to the Kikuko side. Ja ne!