Many, many, MANY thanks to my beta-reader fanfiction fanatic! ( I love the name of the chapter !)

And thanks to Rogue-Pirate and Elvish dreams

Chapter 16) Jingle Bells.

Lizz was shocked. She had thought Sands had been a spoiled brat, with rich parents. One who had dropped out of high school, not knowing what to do with his boring life, and on a whim decided to join the CIA thinking he could get rich quick, manipulate others and have fun killing people. But this… this didn't sound like Sands, the bastard, the ass, the jerk with the cocky attitude. It seemed so surreal that he, the guy who couldn't care less, once had known fear, hurt, pain, loss and guilt.

He had once been a little boy, crying for his gone mom, begging for his dad not to hurt him. But his dad had hurt him, more than he would ever admit. His dad had taken his innocence, his trust, and broken them piece by piece. Lizz thought of her own dad. She had loved him. It had divested her when he had left. She couldn't imagine how she would feel if he had beat her or treated her the way his father had.

She looked at him. He was sitting next to her, looking down, trying to breath in a relaxed manner. His hand where still shaking a little and were still balled into fist. He was waiting for her respond, she noticed. But she had no idea how to react, or what to say. What could she say: Gosh I'm so sorry for you? He would kill her for real is she said that. He didn't want pity, but the big question was, what did he want?

She got kicked out of her thoughts when suddenly Sands tilted his head up and screamed. "FUCKING CHRIST, IT HURTS!" He gasped. He hit himself in the face. "No, no, NO! FUCK YOU!" Again he held his head and stopped breathing. A shiver went through him. "Oh, GOD! PLEASE make it STOP!" He started to sob, like he was crying. He dug his nails into his face so that it started to bleed. Lizz's eyes grew wide and finally she managed to stand up. She pulled his hands away from his face.

"Sands, stop it! Knock it off!" But he wasn't listening. He tried to kick her and started to scream again. This ain't going to work, Lizz thought. She raised her hand and hit him on the cheek. Immediately he stopped kicking and made himself as small as possible. He looked deathly afraid of her.

"Please, daddy, don't hurt me. I'm sorry, I'm sorry! I'll be good." She looked at him in silents, cursing herself for being such an idiot.

"Sands, It's Lizz, that little girl. Not your dad, calm down." Slowly he nodded. "Okay, Sands, listen, has this… thing happened before? What do you normally do to stop it?" He rubbed over his face.

"With… medicines, very strong medicines. Anti… antipsychotic."

"Okay, but I don't have a first aid kit or anything, is there something else?" He looked away and shook his head.

"Nope, nothing I can think of. Normally I keep cool, stay sharp and that's it. It's been over six years since I have taken any medications." Lizz bit her lower lip.

"C'mon there must be something else. What did the doctors say?"

He grinned.

"You really think I would listen to the doctors? Man, your fucked up, girly!" His grin disappeared and his jaws clenched. "Fuck! Fucking headaches!" He sighed. "Christ, why can't I end right now? Is that to fucking much to ask!"

"Don't talk like that." Lizz whispered.

"Why not? Give me one good reason to live this fucked up life." He glared at her.

"Your pride...You always have to win, and death means you lose." She answered.

He shrugged. "Like I give a fuck. My pride is gone. I am blind, I am a freak, there is nothing to be proud of anymore." She looked at him and took a moment gather courage for what she was going to say.

"Then… your dad wins." Slowly he looked up at her.

"What did you say!" His voice was low and full of pain.

"He will have finally beat you. He wanted to make you feel weak. And now you are acting weak." She replied. He pointed as her.

"YOU!" He stopped and thought about what she had said. He thought back to all the times he had let the bad evil man beat him, had let him win. But in the end he had won, and his 'dad' would never win again. He didn't say that out loud of course. He didn't want that damn little girl to go loco because she was right and he was wrong. The only thing he did was lowering his accusing finger. "Fine have it you're way."

"Finally some cooperation!" He knew she was smiling. Times like this made him want to shoot her. How dare she act so cavalier about what he had just told her. Still, it's better than pity. She better not pity him, or at least not make it obvious.

"Sheldon, why did you do that? Why did you kill that little boy and his mom! I didn't raise you like that! I thought you where better than your dad!"

"Did you learn your lesson Sheldon!"

"Sheldon, I have some very bad news for you…"

"Not convincing enough Sheldon!"

Unbearable pain shot through his brain. "SHIT!" He hissed. He'd never had this bad of a headache before. On the other hand he didn't normally have this kind of attack or psychosis, as the good doctors called it. They told him that if he took a red pill and two green pills every morning and evening, everything would be alright. But...of course he didn't listen to the doctors .

He wanted to be in control of every last detail in his 'new' life. No pills for Sheldon Jeffery Sands. It took him half a year to stop with the pills and control his mind. The first few weeks had been hell. He saw many terrifying things, like his dead father, people with chain saws, and pink fluffy bunny's with fangs the size of his underarm. And don't forget the voices, oh no he couldn't forget the voices. The ones that told him horrible things, told him to hang himself. But he had made it. He had banished all of the wicked things out of his mind and won, again

And now, when he was permanently in the dark, the voices had come back. All three of them, his dad, his mom and his conscience or at least that's what he though it was. And he knew why. He had let his control slip away.

"You fucked up, Shel, you really fucked up!"

"I'd wanted to kill you myself, Sheldon, but I see that someone else will do that dirty job for me…"

"Like I said, Shel, you so fucked it up!"

"They will hurt you, Sheldon! Worse then I ever did! And you can't do a thing about it! You know you can't! You will die as a blind, broken man, Sheldon, I...have won!"

"My god your pathetic!"

"SANDS!" He jumped up because of the sudden scream. He heard the girl smirk.

"WHAT!"

"If your not to busy talking to yourself, I may find it possible to tell you that I heard something."

"Great, you're hearing voices too? Welcome to the club." He said sarcastically.

"Very funny, Sands, really…" She stood up and walked away, probably to the door. "Listen, there it is again." Sands stood up and focused his hearing. He heard the girl's breathing, and another sound...jingling.

"What the fuck is that?"

"Beat's me. But I don't like it." She stood closer to him. "I think someone is coming." He felt her hand around his wrist. She was shaking. "I don't want him to get me. I don't." He wrapped his arm around her shoulder. Not like he cared of course, but soon he would be dead, so it would be a good idea to act like he cared. To pay her back. Yeah, that's it, nothing more.

The jingling sound came closer. Sands frowned. That sound… he had heard that before, but where? He listened, deep in thought. Yes, he had defiantly heard that sound before. All at once the headache came back, even worse than before.

"Fuck, not now!" His knees buckled due to the pain. Before he knew it he was on the floor. The jingling stopped in front of the door. A key turned in the lock and the door was slammed open. The girl behind him yelled and her breath quickened. As the footsteps grew closer the jingling got louder.

"Sands?" A low voice with a Mexican accent asked. Sands' jaw dropped, but he recovered fast. "Long time no see El."

……………………………………………………………………………………………………………………………..

El's eyes grew wider when he saw the young woman crying in the corner. But his own jaw dropped when he saw Sands. He was on the floor and his skin was extremely pale, but he still had his trade mark sarcasm plastered on his face. He frowned.

"What are YOU doing here!" Slowly the CIA agent looked up.

"That's just what I wanted to ask you." El didn't bother to answer.

"You two know each other?" El just like Sands looked up at the girl.

"Knowing, isn't the right word, luv." Sands glared over at El. "We did some business together. But HE!" He pointed at El. "Fucked everything up! I" He then pointed at himself. "I had to do all the work and I didn't get one lousy pesos! Unlike him... he walked away with twenty million pesos!"

The girl looked up at him with big eyes.

"Wow, how did you manage to do that!" El immediately wanted to say that he hadn't stolen the money, (well alright maybe he had, a small part...but he had given it to charity.) but Sands interrupted him.

"Can we please start working on a way to get out of here!" He snapped at the girl, sounding tired and pissed off. Instinctive El brushed over his gun. With Sands you never know.

"Sure, take it out on me. Does it make you feel powerful...does it make you feel in control? She rolled her eyes.

"DON'T talk to me like that!" he sounded very dangerous.

'Whatever', she mimed and stuck out her tongue. El looked questioningly at Sands. Why didn't he do something? If the rumours where true, and they probably where, Sands had killed a guy, not so long ago, for asking him why he was wearing a fake moustache. So why did he let the girl talk to him like that?

"So...who are you?" The girl asked.

"El." He answered shortly.

"El , what?"

"Just El."

"Oh, c'mon El, just tell her your the godforsaken El Mariachi. Or else she's gonna ask about it till you blow your own brain out." Sands voice was dripping with irritation. The girl gave him an angry look. Then she looked at El with surprised eyes .

"Are you really THE El Mariachi?" He simply nodded.

"Si." Her eyes grew even wider. "Woah! You're a legend! Did you really kill all those Cartels? Or is that just a rumour? If not, then you killed almost a city as large as Los Angeles. But that can't be right? Because it's just to many people. And you're not as big as I thougt and-"

"-Can you please, SHUT UP...your annoying shrill voice is-" He sighed in frustration." I swear, one day I'll-" Sands hissed.

"-Yes I GET THE POINT, I'll shut up!" She interrupted him looking offended.

He glared at her.

"So, almighty El, what brings you here?" El's frown deepened.

"You're not in the position to ask questions." Sands went a little bit paler.

"And what, exactly ,is that suppose to mean?" El cracked his knuckles.

"Don't play stupid. They told me what you did!" He walked to Sands and gruffly pulled him up. Because Sands was a bit smaller then El he was hanging in the air. Sand yelped and tried to pull loose, with no affect El was much stronger. El looked pleased as he watched the struggling CIA agent.

He hadn't liked the guy since the first time he had spoken to him. He was cocky and he was more arrogant and self serving than any other being he had ever met. Then someone tapped him on the shoulder. He turned his head a little and saw the girl standing next to him.

"Excuse me for interrupting, but exactly what did Sands do?" She looked up at Sands. "Because other than being a pain in the ass and killing bad guys he hasn't done anything wrong." She giggled softly. "Okay... maybe he did do a couple of things." El was surprised.

"You know him?" He asked with a gesture towards Sands. She nodded.

"Kinda." He analyzed the girl. Her face was covered with smudge of lipstick and her mascara had formed dark circles around her eyes. She looked scared but also very interested. She had blonde unkept hair, it looked like she hadn't gotten a decent hair cut in over a year. Even with make up on she still looked young, around sixteen he guessed.

"So can you let him go?" She pleaded. "He didn't do anything, that wrong."

El gritted his teeth.

"He killed two innocent farmers, murdered ten men, shot his gun empty in a full bar and stole 1.8 million from the man who hired me. And that's just al he had don since the coup." The girl defiantly crossed her arms.

"Were you there when that happened?" She asked. He wondered where this was going.

"No." He answers curtly.

"Did you talk to any witnesses."

"No."

"Then how can you be so sure that he did those things?" She replied. El was silent for a second.

"Because it sounds just like the things he would do." He looked at the CIA agent. "I know he would. He's will do anything to get what he wants."

"You bet I would." Sands almost spit in his face. "I would kill every fucker in the world if I waned what they had." Rage stirred in El. He pushed the agent against the wall and his grip became stronger.

"People like you are the ones who have corrupted Mexico!"

"Well, that's what's keeping the balance is all about El. Christ where have you been?" He smirked.

"Malo gringo!" El hissed. He then raised his fist. "You are not going to get away with the things you have done.." But before he could hit Sands, he started to scream. El, shocked, let Sands go and the man fell on the ground.

"Oh fuck, fucked up fucking FUCK!" He yelled, as he started to shake as he held his head. El stared at the man withering on the floor. What the? He turned to the girl, she too looked shocked.

"What's wrong with him!" The girl stopped staring at Sands. Her cheeks turned red.

"He is… they gave him some horrible drug to keep him calm." She walked over to Sands and kneeled. She shook his shoulders. "Sands, please...try to breath." She helped him sit up. "It will be okay, please...try to calm down." The man's shaking increased as he lifted his head.

"He's here, he's going to get me, get me back!" He gasped.

"No, he's not." She told him, holding his shoulders. She looked over at El. "Can you help him? Please!"

This was it again. I was a little nervous with putting El in the story, but Sands and El, those two are just a perfect couple. And I wanted a third point of view for the story.

Anyway, I'm going to writh again, revieuws, are ALWAYS welcome!

Luvzzz Sue-AnneSparrow