It's been a frustrating few months since he first saw her. What little information Darcy gave to his investigator yielded very little information in return. In fact, his investigator quit Mr. Darcy's employment after receiving a cease-and-desist letter or face charges for stalking. It's as if Elizabeth Bennet doesn't exist. How can a renowned surgeon not be all over the internet? He is all over the web. Why not her? He's never seen a doctor so well guarded. She moves around as if unaware of the presence she commands. This information is very hard for him to accept. Defeat is not in his vocabulary. Money is power and he has plenty of it, but what good is it if he can't get what he wants.
Mr. Darcy lives a simple life and most of it is all about business and acquiring more wealth. His father instilled in him a strong work ethic. When he wants something, he usually gets it. Regardless of how good he is in conducting his business, he is socially inept. This stems from being relentlessly chased by women who want his wealth. Having come from a loving home his parents raised the standard of a loving relationship. It is something he strives for himself and his future spouse. Unfortunately, he hasn't met a woman that meets his criteria of a perfect mate, that is until Dr. Elizabeth Bennet.
The night of the kiss cemented Elizabeth in Darcy's heart. He felt that what he observed was enough to ascertain the kind of woman Dr. Bennet is. That act awakened in him a need that has lain dormant in his subconscious, a need for a wife. This brought him to a realization of how lonely he is. Based on what Jane said about Elizabeth, it seems that they have plenty in common. Both are intelligent, independent, love nature, enjoy reading, private in nature, and hard working. That's just a tip of the iceberg. He knows for certain that if he continues to study her, more compatibility will come to light.
His best bet on encountering her again would be to hang out with Jane and Charley, which is perfectly fine so long as he doesn't have to put up with Caroline. He despises her company. Not five minutes in first meeting her, he knew he would never entertain the thought of dating her. She grates on his nerves. Elizabeth on the other hand, had a complete opposite effect. Since he found out that there is no man in her life. She has been occupying his thoughts day, night, and in his dreams. Fortunately, it hasn't affected his productivity too much. The last thing he needs is for his father to start the third degree. He's been wanting him to get married and have children before he dies. He is worse than a matchmaking mother.
Darcy was rudely awakened by his labradoodle so early in the morning. He was having a pleasant dream courtesy of the lovely Elizabeth. They were on the beach, and he was mesmerized by her green eyes. Another time they were horse racing, where she won, and he was about to reward her with a kiss when his dog interrupted with licking him awake. It's morning but it's still a bit dark. He let out his dog, took a shower, let the dog back in. Then he got dressed for work. Mrs. Reynolds is not up yet to make breakfast. He made himself coffee and toasted English muffins. Then he summoned Wilson and instructed him to take him to Eternal Rest Cemetery. It's been a while since he's gone to visit his mother's grave.
"Hi Mom! It's been a while since we talked. I've been feeling confused lately. I mean I know what I want, but I don't know how to go about it. My heart and mind have been held captive by a woman. I know that probably surprises you. It surprised me too. I never thought that it could happen to me. These feelings are so new and overwhelming, scary and exciting at the same time. I don't know how to act. Did you feel this way with Dad? I wish you're here to tell me how Dad captured your heart. I think you'll like her mom. She's the entire package of beauty, and brains. My other problem is I can't get to her. Well, that and I inadvertently insulted her on our first meeting. I'm sorry I disappointed you. You taught me better and I ruined my chance. My ability to solve problems seemed to have flown out the window. Nothing and no one can get to her except an already established relationship. My other problem is that I'm competing with her dearly departed husband. She is not showing signs of openness to new relationships. She did kiss me though. Of course, she thought I was Michael, but that didn't take away the feelings it awakened in me. She felt heavenly. I wished I could have kissed her back. I don't know what is happening to me anymore. I've always prided myself in being in control and it's frustrating as hell. I wish I could label her as a gold-digging shallow bimbo, so I could move on and never think about her again, but she is far from any of those things. I used to think that wealth can get me anything I want. Then I met her and came to a realization that I have nothing to offer that she didn't already have. It's quite humbling when I think about it. Maybe I'm going about this the wrong way. It's too soon to hope…." Darcy was suddenly aware that there's another visitor, so he stood quietly, and hid from sight.
Elizabeth made her rounds early. Laney, her rare case, is doing well after a couple of close calls. Another new procedure under her belt. She knows that the full extent of her recovery will remain unknown for a few more months, but she feels confident enough to hand over the case to a neurologist. It's time for her to go home and see her father. The everyday calls, and texting just isn't cutting it for her anymore. No one knows her like he does. She needs him desperately. She texted Edwin to pick her up at the South entrance of the hospital. "Please take me to Michael.", as she entered her Toyota Landcruiser.
Elizabeth darted out of her SUV before her driver could open the door for her. She ran so fast through her blinding tears. Her heart is galloping, and her lungs burn. It hurts to breathe. She collapsed at her husband's grave and sobbed uncontrollably. She sat on the wet morning grass and leaned her back on the gravestone. "I miss you so much it hurts. The bed is so empty without you. Worst of all, my arms are empty. Thomas Michael should have been filling my arms. He should have been the reason for my sleepless nights. I still couldn't bring myself to empty the nursery. I find myself sitting there in the rocking chair. I know it's crazy to hang on for so long. You once said that I'm fearless, but the thing is, loneliness is what I fear. It is devoid of love; your love." She continued sobbing until her tears were spent. "I'm thinking of leaving maybe in a few weeks to see Dad. I have one more major case. I get to assemble a team to perform the first separation of conjoined twins in Hertfordshire. They are two-year-old boys about the same age Thomas Michael would have been. It's been a while since I hugged my father. I miss him so much. Maybe it's time for me to take a sabbatical. Will you meet me on the waves of Torquay? Will you ride with me? I don't know how long I'll be away, but I promise to come see you as soon as I return. You are always in my heart. Do you like these flowers? I ordered them yesterday. I'm so glad that John delivered it in time so that you, Thomas, and I can enjoy them. Let us watch the sunrise. This is my favorite place to watch it. Here with my family. Hold our baby close. Thomas, be good to your father. I love you both so much." She kissed her hand and caressed the names Michael and Thomas Harrington. Then slowly got up and reluctantly walked back to her SUV. She will spend half of her day catching up on sleep.
Darcy's POV
"Who could it be at this hour? I thought I'm the only one with weird habits. Wait…Mom it's her! She's kind of far away, but I'm certain that it's her. I can't believe it. She looks bereft. All I want is to do is to come to her, dry her tears and hold her, but I have no right. It's making me weary seeing her, but I can't talk or touch her. My chest feels tight. I can't breathe. How long will I have to be content to love her from afar? You should see the sunrise light up her eyes or is it the other way around? She looks lovely even at her haggard state. I want their kind of love; I want her love. I guess I'll have to go to Dad for some advice. Thank you for listening. I miss you and love you." Mr. Darcy ended the one-sided conversation. Left her mother's grave and headed over to where Elizabeth was.
Darcy walked over to a beautifully maintained gravesite with a sculpture of a life size angel on guard and fresh flowers. The pink granite stone elegantly etched In Loving Memory of Michael Warren Harrington II Born November 20, 1982 - Died February 22, 2015. Thomas Michael Harrington Born Feb 22, 2015-Died February 22, 2015. Beloved husband and son gone but not forgotten. I love you forever and a day. He bent over to touch the gravestone. Then he noticed scrunched up cloth. He picked it up and examined it. It appears that Elizabeth dropped her hair scrunchy. He sniffed it and smelled the familiar scent of cherry blossom. He pocketed the item. Darcy was greatly affected by these revelations. He wept at the knowledge that Elizabeth lost her family all in one day. His admiration for her raised another notch in witnessing her strength and fortitude. He's never met someone like her. She lost so much yet she continues to give of herself to others. Now he knows her real name Dr. Elizabeth Bennet Harrington. His puzzle is coming together
A/N The greater the love the greater the grief. They are both blind. One is blinded by something very close to love and admiration, while the other by grief. They both have a void that only pieces of the other can fill, but how? I hope that you spotted the trail of crumbs I've been leaving behind in each chapter. Don't worry. It will come to you. Thank you in advance for your reviews.