Disclaim: Don't own, El, Sands and any other OUATIM quotes, all from the talented Robert Rodriquez.

Chapter 23) Que Quieres En La Vida.

He was in a deep sleep, a very deep wonderful sleep. He had his back against the couch's cushions, and for the first time in weeks he was sleeping peacefully.

He wasn't really dreaming, in a sense he was reliving. He was able to watch himself as he stood up from the couch and jump at El. He smile tugged at the corners of his mouth as he saw himself punch El. He smile grew as he watched the other Sands snatch El's gun. The look on El's face was priceless, it was one of pure shock. He wished he could go up to the shocked musician and kick him, no reason really, it might be fun...but he knew from experience that this was one of those dreams where you could only watch. All you could do is watch even if you saw yourself on an iron table getting your eyes drilled out...

But he didn't complain, he was content at being able to see himself in control didn't matter that it was just for a moment. The only problem with the dream was that he couldn't picture the girl. He had a general idea of what she looked like. He knew the basic things, like her hair and eye colour and her height, but he couldn't imagine her. Which makes sense since he had never seen her and there is alot more to a person than hair, eyes, and height, but it was still a bit strange. Anyway, back to the dream.

His grin turned slightly more sinister as he watched himself almost shoot El in the head. It had been closer than he had thought, a little closer and the mariachi would have had one hell of a headache. Not that it would have mattered much, the girly would have freaked, but she'd get over it. Pulling out of his thoughts he looked back into the room, or his take on the room because he really had no idea what it looked like. There he saw himself sitting down as he smoked a cigarette.

"Sands?"

'What the…. ?' Slowly the images started to blur.

"Sands."

'No, fuck!' He thought as everything went slowly from coloured to grey and finally to black. Shit he was awake again! Which fucker had woken him up!

"Sands!" It sounded very loudly from beside him. He growled and scratched his bare chest.

"Fuck, I wanna sleep." He mumbled, still half asleep.

"Sands! Wake up!" The voice continued as he cocked his head in the direction of the voice.

"What! What the fuck do you want this time, girly! I was asleep! I dreamed, for the first time in weeks about something good! About hurting El, so fuck off and let me sleep!" He listened for a response, and all he heard was a frustrated sigh. 'If anyone has a right to be frustrated...it's me!" He thought angrily.

"Listen, I didn't mean to upset you, but you have to get up, I have to look at you're eyes."

"Very funny." He snapped. "Ha.Ha ! Let's make fun of the eyeless gunfighter, how hilarious!" He looked away. "Fucking brat, don't say that again, remember, I have my gun back!"

"No, no I didn't mean it like that!" She said quickly. " I need to check if there is any infection or bleeding."

"And why do you think I would let you do that!" Pissed he sat up and tried to look as threatening as he could.

"I didn't think you would let me." She paused. "But it has to be done...and if you wait to long there could be more damage." At that comment Sands raised an eyebrow.

"More damage? Are you sure you still have your eyes?"

"C'mon Sands, you know what I mean, don't act so…so...much like yourself and let me see."

"No I don't want you to!" He pulled the blanket over his bare chest. " I don't want you to start treating me like a child either. Don't think I won't shoot you, I have the gun! Fuck. Off." ' Why won't she go away? Why is she so god damn close? And why doesn't she understand that I don't want people to see me like this!'

"Sands it has to be done. If I don't do it now, it could get infected and then you will have to go to a doctor and more people will see you."

He didn't like the idea of a whole hospital seeing what was behind the
glasses, but still...

"What if El walks in." He whispered. It sounded pathetic...but he was really worried about that.

"It's about six a.m., I don't think El will wake up for at least the next four hours." She yawned. "How stupid do you think I am?"

'Pretty stupid...your still around.' He laid down slowly. He held his breath and took off the glasses. All the control seemed to slip away. There he was, lying down, half naked, and completely vulnerable. He had to look so fucking disgusting, so fucking sick. Something or someone in his head started to laugh. Sweat started to run over his forehead as he turned his head away. 'Shit it's coming back', he was losing control again.

"Sands are you okay?" She asked slightly worried.

"Uh huh." He muttered back trying to shut the voice out. "Hurry up, get it done."

"Okay." She sat down besides him. He could just barely stop himself from recoiling. Very gently she touched his chin and pushed it a little to the right. Her fingers slide over his jaw up to his cheekbone.

"Does it hurt?"

"No...I can't feel anything." He voice started to get weak. "That can't be good, can it?"

"It's okay, that's normal with scars. Sometimes there very sensitive or numb. Sometimes, the weather can effect it. Or well, at least that's what they said on ER." She finished a bit embarrassed, and he smiled a little bit.

"You shouldn't watch so much tv yaknow. It's so fucking full of bullshit. With the nice happy endings and romantic shit, it's so
fucking fake. In real life there is never a happily ever after." He said and was a bit perplexed as she started to giggle.

"Yeah, it's full of fake shit. But that doesn't mean that everything is." She replied.

He glared at her slightly." Do you really believe that?"

"As a matter of fact, I do. I believe in finding true love." Her voice went up with the words 'true love'. "I think that one day I'll find someone that really, really loves me and he will ask me to marry him. And of course I will say yes and then we will get a big house, with two cars, a dog, and two kids."

His eyebrows rose at this confession. "Are you trying to make me hurl? If so, you doing a hell of a job." Again she started to giggle, like only girls can do.

"What! Is it so bad that I have future plans!"

"No, but they are so... so… freaking girly." He really didn't know how to put it. " I mean, do you really think a guy thinks like that when he sees a girl?" He sat u and started to smirk. "The first things a guy thinks of are, does she look nice, does she wanna have sex and will she nag about you not calling her back afterwards. That's how guys think. Most guys don't even have the word commitment in their vocabulary." He explained and then was playfully pushed by her.

"Not all guy's think like that!" That made him grin.

"What? I'm a guy! I think like that! So I think that my opinion is more accurate!"

"Okay… maybe there are guys like you. But I'm a good girl. I don't hang out at the places that have those kind of guys around." She replied watching him bring a hand through his sticky hair.

"No offense, luv, but you're living with one."

"That's different." She said moodily. "But, if you think my plans are so lame mister 'I'll-make-fun-of-her-dreams', what's your plan. If it isn't love, luck and family, what is it?"

"What do you think? Keep the balance, get rich quick, kill the bastards who thought they could stop me and then continue livin' la vida loca."

"Right…" it sounded sarcastic. "What a great plan…" She voiced, shoving a knife into Sands ego.

"Like your plan was any better. Marrying Ken and living in a pink house contaminated by hordes of fluffy bunnies. Sounds great really, but I think I will pass."

"I didn't say that! Now, hush I need to put some salve around your eye sockets and I need to focus."

"Whatever." He kept his mouth. He tensed waiting for her touch. He heard the clinking of jars and other item.

"This will feel cold and it will burn little, but that's all."

Coldness touched his skin while he tried not to move. He didn't even realize he was holding his breath. It was strange having someone touch him there. Even he was afraid to feel what was there...or wasn't for that matter. But it was more frightening trusting someone else to touch it.

It made him think, did he trust the girl? He knew he trusted her fear and he knew his own ability to manipulate her, okay maybe not manipulate, order her around.

But did he trust her? It may sound stupid to someone normal. Someone normal would have trusted her long before now. She had never hurt him or lied to him, anyone normal would trust her.

But still… it wasn't enough. He had walked this path so many times and in the end they always left him, hurt him, or betrayed him. He'd had enough of that shit. He would never let anyone make him feel that weak again.

So maybe he liked her, a bit. But he wouldn't trust her completely. She just knew to much. There was always the chance that she would turn on him. Everyone has their price, and if he let his guard down someone would find hers.

"That's it, all done." She cheered. "You can put your glasses back on." She informed watching him nod slowly as he picked up his glasses. But before he put them on he stopped.

"Can I asked you something?" He asked softly, still holding the
glasses.

"Sure."

"Does…" He paused and felt his cheeks started to turn red. 'What the fuck is this! I'm Sheldon Jeffery Sands, the notorious smooth talker. Don't act so fucking weak!' "Does… it look bad?" He pointed at his lack of eyes. He heard her come closer.

"No. I doesn't look bad. There isn't any blood and it didn't scar that much. Only a little on the sides." She continued. "I wasn't lying when I told you that the guy and the bitch in the bar were talking shit. You don't look like a freak, just different."

He nodded and putted the glasses on. Good thing she didn't know how good those words had made him feel. He listened closely, the voice was gone again. Good, great, fucking brilliant! He heard her stand up and walk to the kitchen, if he thought clear.

"Want something to eat?" She asked.

"Sure why not." He replied, and he heard her smile.

"What, no 'thank you for making me dinner'?"

"Well, you don't cook very good…"

"WHAT!" She yelled from the kitchen. "How dare you insult my culinary abilities!" She continued as a grin slid onto his face.

"What? It's the truth! You can't cook." He heard her mumble some curses.

"Like you can!" She finally snapped back.

"Of course I can cook." He replied. "Cooking is like fucking, you have to do it the rest of your life so you better know how."

"That all great and dandy, but I'm still not impressed. Show me." She challenged watching him sit up.

"What? The cooking or the fucking?" He smiled.

"Ha. Ha, you're killing me." She walked up to him and took hold of his got loose.

"Are you stupid? I can't, anymore. I can't even see if I am using pepper or salt. I can't cook anymore!" He glared at her. "Think something through for once!" He growled and she once again sighed...that was really starting to bug him.

"So? That doesn't means you can't help me." Again she tried to pull him up. "C'mon, I need your help. Unless you want to eat my terrible food again."

"Well when you put it that way...I'm in." And he quickly stood up, what almost made her fall over. He heard her curse and grinned. "Oh, Lizzy-O you still have so much to learn."

…………………………………………………………………………………………………………………………………………………

'GUNSHOTS!'

El immediately jumped up and grabbed his gun from under the pillow. He listened. Three shoots where fired. He tensed, they sounded like they were close by. Probably in the back of the house. He jumped out of bed and as silently as he could he ran into the living room. Quickly he scanned the room. The kitchen was a mess, plates where broken, food was everywhere and the water was still running.

El turned around and looked at the sofa. Sands was gone. And where was the girl? Again a gun fired from outside. This time he heard a high scream. No doubt, from Lizz. He ran into the kitchen, kicked open the door and aimed his gun.

Two people turned at him. Surprised El lowered his gun and frowned. He saw Lizz standing next to Sands who was holding a smoking gun. This made El bring up his gun again.

"What are you doing!" He spat at Sands.

"What do you think fuckmook, I'm shooting!" The man snapped back.

"Why, there is no one around." El said, looking around again, just to be sure.Sands started to curse and lit a cigarette.

"You tell the idiot." He said, after he inhaled, to Lizz. "I don't want to lower myself to that imbeciles comprehension level." Sands spat receiving a glare from El. El looked to Lizz, who bit her lip.

"He's teaching me how to shoot." She pointed at the bottles on the fence of the veranda.

"And tell him you still suck at it." Sands mumbled, after switching the gun to safety. The girl rolled with here eyes and stuck out her tongue.

"Why is the kitchen a mess?" El asked, putting his gun in his belt after seeing Sands do the same.

"Well, we were cooking.." She started.

"WE!" El asked surprised.

"Yes, we." She looked at Sands. "Well, he was telling me what to do, but I dropped a couple-" She got interrupted by Sands.

"A couple of things? You dropped half of it!"

"Hey!" She screamed mad. "I'm telling the story!"

"Then tell it right."

"Fine!" She gave Sands a frustrated look and looked back at El. "Like he said. I dropped half of the stuff, and he got mad. He started to scream like it was all my fault."

"It was all your fault!" Sands corrected.

"Whatever!" She sighed deeply. "Then he grabbed everything out of my hands, but because the floor was full of broken eggs, he slipped and broke the plates."

"Not my fault." Sands pointed at Lizz. "Hers."

"Anyway... He got pissed, pulled out his gun and started to scream about shooting the house to pieces. Then I remembered that I still needed to learn how to shoot. So I asked him...after he cooled down." She finished and looked at El. He was frowning at her slightly, and then when his gaze shifted to Sands the frown intensified.

"You're teaching a young girl how to shoot?" El asked, Sands nodded.

"Yup."

"Are you crazy? What kind of bastard teaches and innocent girl how to kill someone. And how can you teach her to shoot anyways, you're blind." El replied raising his voice an octave. Sands only shook his head.

"Tut, Tut...Well 'The', first of all, I am not teaching her to kill someone. I am teacher her how to use a gun. How to aim for instance." He glared at her. "Second," He pulled out his gun and fired one shot almost hitting El's foot, causing the mariachi to jump into the air. "I may be blind, but I'm not brain dead. I can still shoot a gun." He grinned. "Like I said, never underestimate your enemy." He finished in a low tone.

After he finished Lizz frowned and kicked him lightly in the shin.

"Don't act so mean! Didn't anyone ever tell you that it's not nice to threaten people?"

"What do you care! And don't fucking kick me!" Sands snapped back. El rolled his eyes.

"I'm going back in, try not to kill each other."

Slowly, looking over his shoulder, he walked back into the house. He closed the door and watched from inside. Sands was pointing the weapon at an empty bottle. He started to make hand gestures concerning the gun as he talked to the girl who was nodding slowly and watching as he switched off the safety, then giving it to her.

El's eyes narrowed "It's wrong." He said to himself. "It's not right to teach a child how to handle a weapon." He turned around and walked to his room. He opened his closet and pushed some clothes aside, picking up his guitar.

"Amigo Viejo." He whispered softly. It was one of the few things he had left in his life. His guitar and his music. The guitar always brought up so many memories. So many happy thoughts. He carelessly stroked the neck of his guitar and closed the closet door.

El walked into the living room and sat down on the window seat so he had a good view of what was happening outside. He saw Sands standing behind the girl, holding her hands in front of her. She was holding the gun and trying to focus on the bottle. Sands said something to her and she rolled with her eyes. Finally she shot and missed the bottle, she wasn't even close. Sands let her hands go and started to curse. Then he made some wild gestures at the bottle and shouted some more. El looked back at the girl. She was smiling and mimicking Sands' wild gestures and expressions.

El chuckled as he watched the girl giggle at Sands' pissed off face. Sands snapped at her and pointed at the bottles. Looking moody, she focused on the bottles, shot, and surprisingly enough, hit one. Her eyes grew wide with happiness as she dropped the gun and started to jump up and down.

She turned around and started to scream as she pointed at the bottles. 'I hit one! I hit one!' El could make out after reading her lips. To his surprise she then hugged Sands. El frowned and watched the CIA agent, who clearly didn't know how to react. He smiled slightly and pushed her slowly away. The girl was still very happy and started to point at the bottles again.

El smiled and looked back at his guitar. She could be very annoying, but could also be very sweet, he had to give her that. You could see by the way she noticed and enjoyed the small things that she loved life, and that was a nice thing to see.

He thought back to Carolina. 'Que Quieres En La Vida' She had asked him one night.

'Libertad'', he had answered. Freedom, one of the most important things in life. Maybe the most important one, after love.

He started to play a couple notes on his guitar. Then he played a simple song. It had been a long time since he had picked up his guitar. Which was strange considering it was one of the few things that he enjoyed doing. Well, he had been a little bit busy lately, and of course living with Sands was not the ideal atmosphere for participating in leisurely activities.

I thought it would be a nice thing to give the three a couple of day's some rest. A small vacation. A little time out of shooting and killing. Then I thought, they would rather have to kill a whole army of Cartels then to live with each other, what made the vacation idea even better…

Please do, for the love of god, review! Doesn't that sounds nice and pathetic:P

Luvzzzz Sue-AnneSparrow.