AU! EWE.
THC
Standard
Ravenclaw, Stand-in (Ancient Runes)
Prompts: (character) Neville Longbottom, (location) Greenhouse Number 5
WC: 2985/3000
Neville stroked the Venomous Tentacula's leaves before plucking them from the stem. A gentle touch was very important when dealing with the poisonous plant. The Tentacula twisted its eyeless head away from Neville and shot its vines out to grab onto his hair, but fortunately, it missed.
"I already regret eating this," a petulant voice called out behind Neville.
Neville chuckled at the words. How many times had he heard the same words from different students? The Umbrella Flower was just so colourful and looked like it would taste delicious, so many impulsive students had tried to take a bite out of it over the years. Back when Neville had been at Hogwarts, Seamus had been the one stupid enough to eat it. Then, a few years later, Teddy Lupin and James Sirius Potter, along with a handful of others, had done the same thing.
Neville turned around when the boy gagged loudly. Scorpius Granger-Malfoy stood near the large flower pot that held the green plant. His nose was scrunched up, and he held a half-bitten colourful flower, his tongue sticking out.
"You're the idiot who decided to take a bite out of it," Albus Potter said pointedly, crouched near Scorpius's feet. He was carefully pruning a flutterby bush for Neville's detention assignment.
"It looked interesting, so I assumed it would be good enough to eat," Scorpius said with a shrug. "Besides, Professor Longbottom said it wasn't poisonous."
"It's not poisonous, Mister Malfoy," Neville said, shaking his head with barely controlled laughter and wondering how in Merlin's name Hermione Granger was the boy's mother, "but like I've said to at least a dozen more students before you, it's also not made for human consumption."
"N-not made for what? Oh, Merlin! I can't die—I'm too young for this," Scorpius cried.
Before Neville could correct his assumption, Scorpius took a big step back. His heel struck the brown flower pot placed behind him, and it tottered.
"Scorpius, no!" Albus screamed.
Not again.
Scorpius flailed his arms, attempting to balance himself, as he toppled over the flower pot and landed on his rump in front of the Venomous Tentacula. The plant struck.
Deja vu struck Neville like a lightning bolt. Back in their fifth year, during one of their Herbology classes in Greenhouse Number 5—the greenhouse they were in currently—Seamus had fallen in the exact same manner. Thus, Neville knew precisely what was about to happen next.
A thick vine wrapped itself around Scorpius's left leg, crawled up his thigh, and yanked him up into the air.
"Al, help me!" Scorpius screamed as he hung upside down. His wand fell out of his pocket, and he used his arms to bat the vines away, trying to escape.
Albus hopped circles around his flailing friend. "Professor Longbottom, help!"
Right. Yes, he was the professor. Merlin's beard, he really needed to remember that.
Neville whipped out his wand and rushed to remember what he knew about Venomous Tentaculas. Severing Charms would work on stunning the plant and severing its vines, but it wasn't as lethal as its adult counterpart as the plant was just a sapling. It could only gnaw at Scorpius, which would still send the boy to the infirmary for a week.
"Petrificus Totalus, Diffindo," Neville yelled, flicking his wand at the plant. The first spell stopped the vines, and the second spell hit the head and sliced it clean off. The head fell to the floor of the greenhouse, clamping its jaw shut one last time.
Neville moved closer and pointed his wand at the shattered flower pot. "Reparo."
It repaired itself within seconds and was as good as new. Neville glanced at Albus and Scorpius, who was now lying on his face, his platinum-blond hair plastered to his forehead in wet clumps. Scorpius's face turned green before he whirled around and threw up on Albus's shoes.
"Scorp!" Albus groaned, wrapping an arm around Scorpius's shoulders and hauling him up. "Are you alright?"
Scorpius wiped his mouth with a grimace. "I'm fine, thanks."
Neville ran his hand down his face, amazed that Professor Sprout had kept her students in line all those years with minimal effort. Now that he was a professor himself, he knew just how difficult it was to manage the students with a clear head.
"Thank you for saving me, Uncle Neville," Scorpius said, ducking his head. His face was red, his hair was standing up on its ends, and his hands were trembling. Calling Neville 'Uncle Neville' while they were still at Hogwarts was a clear sign that the boy was in shock. "If it weren't for you, my parents would have lost their only son today…"
Malfoys, even if they were half-Granger, were always dramatic. Neville chuckled. "It's alright, Scorp. How do you feel? Do you feel queasy? Any strange rumblings in your belly?"
Scorpius glanced down at his abdomen as if he was asking it if it was fine; he then looked up at Neville. Shaking his head, he replied, "I feel normal…I think."
"Good, that's a good sign." Neville nodded. "Your mother would have killed me if something had happened to you."
"Speaking of my mother…can we please keep whatever happened here between us?" Scorpius asked, wringing his hands. "Mum's still not happy I didn't wear my earmuffs properly last class, and the Mandrake's screams made me faint."
Neville muffled his laughter by pursing his lips. Scorpius reminded him more of himself than Hermione or Malfoy; the boy was just as much of a walking hazard as Neville used to be back at Hogwarts. Nodding, Neville said, "Of course, I'll keep this a secret, but I'm certain if you told your mother about what happened today, it would make her smile."
"Are we talking about my mother or his?" Scorpius demanded, jerking his thumb towards Albus, who was squinting at Neville suspiciously.
"I'm talking about your mother. Hermione Granger." Neville smirked when the two boys gawked at him as if he had just sprouted a unicorn horn.
"Why would my mother smile about something like this? There's no way in a million years that she'd—"
Neville grinned. "Let's just say…I'm sort of the reason your mother and father got together in the first place. Have they ever told you that story?"
"They must have been too embarrassed to admit that Uncle Neville got them together," Albus stated, crossing his arms.
Neville snickered at the thought and shook his head. Glancing at his watch, he said, "You still have a few more minutes of detention left, so I'll tell you."
"Okay," Scorpius said and hopped up onto the nearest table, almost upsetting the pots. "Oops, sorry!"
Albus rolled his eyes but leaned against Scorpius's thigh. "Okay, we're ready."
Neville smiled and started his story.
"Ew, this Umbrella Flower is bitter," Seamus whined. They were in Greenhouse Five for their weekly Herbology class, and students milled around the tables, murmuring to themselves.
"Why did you even eat it in the first place?" Dean asked pointedly, placing peonies in his basket.
"It looked gran'." Seamus shrugged. "Besides, Neville said it wasn't poisonous."
Neville's body vibrated with suppressed laughter. "It's not poisonous, but the book says that it's not made for human consumption either."
"You mean I'm gonna die? I don't want ta die," Seamus cried, taking a big step back. Neville's eyes widened as Seamus's heel struck the brown flower pot placed directly behind him.
"Seamus, no!" Neville and Dean screamed in unison, and the students around them looked up at the sudden cry.
Seamus flailed his arms, attempting to balance himself, before he toppled over the flower pot and landed on his rump in front of the Venomous Tentacula.
The plant struck. It wrapped a thick vine around Seamus's left leg, crawled up his thigh, and then, it yanked the young Irishman up into the air.
"Dean, 'elp!" Seamus screamed as he hung in the air upside down. His wand fell out of his pocket, and Seamus used his arms to bat the vines, trying to escape.
Dean cried, "Nev, get help!"
Neville whirled around and sprinted towards the door. He yelled, "Professor Sprout! Come quick! Seamus needs—"
As luck would have it, Neville didn't see Goyle's foot until it was too late. He tried to skid to a stop to avoid stepping on it, but he tripped over his long robes and slammed his head into a flower pot.
The thunderous crash rattled his teeth, and a burst of light behind his eyes temporarily blinded him. He tumbled to the ground in a heap of limbs, mud, and dirt. Large Umbrella Flowers rained down upon his head. Colours swirled together and swam in front of his eyes, and panic set in. He couldn't see! He squealed in fear and flailed his arms around, trying to find something to hold onto.
Fabric rustled nearby, and Neville leapt in its direction, blinking furiously. He seized the soft robes and tried to drag himself up to his feet.
"Just what do you think you're doing, Longbottom?" a very familiar, snobbish voice snarked, and Malfoy's hands shoved Neville away.
Neville's vision returned to him, but he immediately shut his eyes tight when he saw the yellow spikes of the plant he was flying towards. He collided with the prickly plant and let loose a shrill howl of pain that echoed throughout the greenhouse before nose-diving towards the ground.
"Neville, 'elp!" Seamus screamed from behind, and Neville cursed Seamus' carelessness in his head.
Couldn't Seamus see what was happening?
Pain seared in Neville's shoulders and face where the spikes had embedded themselves, creating slowly oozing trails of blood down his neck, and Neville thought, 'I'm going to die! This is the end! Goodbye, Trevor!'
"Malfoy, what are you—" Hermione trailed off with a loud gasp and shrill cry. Neville hoped it was because she had seen him lying on his face in the mud and was about to help him.
"Granger, don't!" Malfoy yelled.
"What's going on?" Neville screamed, attempting to blink away the tears streaming down his face.
When he found the courage to open his eyes and rolled over onto his back, a gasp escaped his lips—and it had nothing to do with the pain running through him with a terrible intensity.
Hermione and Malfoy were in some sort of sick embrace.
On closer inspection, Neville noticed the green vines enveloping their bodies, the plant leaving no space between the two rivals. Malfoy's cheek was smushed against Hermione's temple, and their arms were firmly by their sides. They were trying to wriggle around in an attempt to get the vines to let go, but to no avail.
"Nev, do something!" Dean cried, and Neville snapped his head to look at him. A vine grabbed hold of Dean's foot and slammed him to the ground with a loud thump.
"Ow! Curse you, you vile thing!" Dean snapped as he kicked at the vine and pulled his leg away.
"Save me first!" Seamus's face was red, the blood rushing to his head. He puffed his cheeks out and cried, "I'm gonna barf!"
"No, he's going to help us first," Malfoy snapped. The effect of his murderous glare was ruined by Hermione wriggling against him. Malfoy's eyes crossed as he tried to look down at Hermione. "Granger, stop moving!"
Neville clenched his eyes shut as he tried to calm himself down and stave off the sharp pain throbbing in his head. First things first…
"Goyle, get Professor Sprout," Neville barked.
Goyle glared at him. "I don't take orders from—"
"Just do what he says!" Hermione and Malfoy yelled in unison. Goyle quickly scampered away.
"Dean, cast the Severing Spell at the head. Not the vines. Make sure you don't hurt Seamus," Neville ordered. He turned towards Hermione. "Hermione, could you stay still?"
"Something's poking me," she cried, her face red with embarrassment.
"It's not what you think! It's my wand!" Malfoy snarled, his face just as red as hers. Still, he tried to squirm away from her.
Neville didn't even want to know the truth. He moved closer, making sure not to agitate the writhing vines, and pointed his wand at the shattered flower pot. "Reparo."
It repaired itself within seconds and was as good as new. Neville glanced over his shoulder at Seamus and Dean, who were both safely on the ground now. Seamus's face turned green before he pivoted on his heels and vomited on Dean.
"Stop staring at them and do something about us," Malfoy growled, and Neville grimaced as he turned to them.
"All right, just calm down," he muttered, trying to figure out how to free them. If he used a Severing Charm on the vines, it would hurt the plant, but if he didn't use it, Malfoy would hurt him.
"Longbottom…" Malfoy hissed, his eyes narrowing dangerously.
Neville bit his lower lip before waving his wand at the vines. "Petrificus Totalus."
The vines stopped writhing. Hermione leapt away from Malfoy, but she flew back into his arms the very next second. Gasping, she smacked the blond's hands away from her waist. "Let go of me, Malfoy!"
Seamus and Dean walked over, the latter's clothes now clean of the contents of Seamus's stomach. Seamus was wiping his mouth with a grimace.
Neville frowned at Hermione and asked, "What happened?"
"I can't move!" Hermione cried, trying to pull away and failing. "I'm stuck!"
"So am I!" Malfoy attempted to elbow Hermione away, but she didn't budge. They began arguing over whose fault it was that they were trapped together.
Professor Sprout hurried over, her wand out. Neville said, "Oh, Professor! Thank Merlin you're here. Something's wrong with these two." He pointed at Hermione and Malfoy. "I got rid of the vines, but they're still stuck."
Professor Sprout groaned but smiled at Neville. "Good job, Mr Longbottom...Miss Granger, Mr Malfoy." When the two finally turned towards her, she said, "Look up."
The students all looked up and gasped in unison. A sprig of mistletoe hung above their heads.
"Oh, hell, no!" Hermione barked, and Malfoy's face reddened. Surprise filled Neville to the brim; he had never heard Hermione swear before. It was so uncharacteristic of her.
"Ooh, looks like someone's gettin' an early Christmas present," Seamus teased, a wicked grin on his face. "By someone, I mean Malfoy."
Malfoy glared at Seamus, and Neville pursed his lips to muffle his laughter. He shouldn't be so amused by the look of consternation on the Slytherin's face; after all, Hermione would have to suffer, too.
"I am not kissing him," Hermione said, crossing her arms over her chest.
"I'm not happy about this either, Granger," Malfoy snapped, glaring at her.
"Kiss 'er, kiss 'er, kiss 'er," Seamus chanted, clapping along. Dean smacked his head, but Seamus didn't stop grinning.
"You're all daft if you think I'm going to kiss her," Malfoy snapped.
"If you want to unstick yourselves, that's the only way, I'm afraid. These mistletoe plants are ridiculously strong when it comes to getting what they want. No amount of hexing and cursing them will help you. Unfortunately, we do need to use the parts of these plants in different potions, so we can't just get rid of them—no matter how annoying they might be. Why do you think I keep them in Greenhouse 5?" Professor Sprout said.
She turned to Seamus and said, "Come along, Mr Finnegan. The blood's all gone to your head. Mr Thomas, Mr Longbottom, you two as well. Madam Pomfrey will patch you all up soon."
She led Dean and Seamus away, and Neville hesitated before taking a step back.
Hermione cried, "Neville, you can't leave me here with him!" Malfoy let out an indignant cry at that.
"I'm sorry, Hermione, but my head hurts, I'm bleeding, and I still can't see properly," Neville said, rubbing the back of his head. "Just kiss him and get it over with."
He stumbled towards the doors of the greenhouse and glanced over his shoulder at Hermione. If Ron and Harry hadn't been practising for the upcoming Quidditch match, Neville was sure this situation would have been even more violent. He grimaced as he imagined the bloodbath, shivering in response.
"Ten minutes later, your mother came storming into the infirmary," Neville said, smirking at the memory. "Of course, we didn't ask her what happened, but it was clear that they had finally kissed."
Scorpius's eyes widened and he scratched his head. "Wow, Mum and Dad actually hated each other? I can't even imagine that."
Albus nodded in agreement. "Me neither…It's so strange."
Neville smiled. "It was stranger to watch them awkwardly flirt. Never in a million years could anyone have predicted they'd fall in love and get married."
"Wow," Albus and Scorpius whispered, now staring at the Venomous Tentaculas that had changed so many lives.
Neville looked at his watch and said, "Oh, it's way past your detention time. You two better hurry back to your dormitories now. I apologise for keeping you boys this late."
"We didn't mind," Scorpius said happily. He hopped off the table and smiled up at Neville. "Thank you for telling us that story."
"You're welcome, Scorpius. I'll be more than happy to tell you stories about your parents."
"I'd love that!" Scorpius exclaimed, vibrating on the spot. "How about tomorrow after dinner?"
Neville's lips twitched. "You're supposed to be in detention with me again, remember? So, no, we'll talk about your parents some other time."
"Aww!" Their shoulders slumped, and they both pouted at Neville.
"If you two promise not to get caught up in another prank war with James, I'll tell you some really embarrassing secrets about your fathers," Neville proposed.
Their eyes lit up and maniacal grins stretched over their faces. They exclaimed in unison, "Deal!"
As they hurried out of the greenhouse, Neville was left wondering if he had made a huge mistake.