-1The time was quarter after seven. The date? The sixth day of the sixth month of the year 2006.
Agent Speckle and I had just helped yet another blind elderly lady across the street. Our mission had been fraught with peril. (The light turned green when we were only halfway across) and I told Agent Speckle that he and I should celebrate.
"Celebrate what?" he quirked an eyebrow at me. Agent Speckle could be so funny, sometimes.
"Helping that old lady across the street, of course!" I played along with him.
He snorted (I didn't even know he was capable of such a thing). "Why should we celebrate that? She threatened to break your fly swatter if we didn't help her, and you started crying like the wuss you really are." He glared at me through his new glasses, whose hold on his nose was uncertain. I could just imagine them clinging to his nose for dear life. I giggled at the mental image. Agent Speckle sighed and flicked his hair in my face as he spun away.
Then, out of the corner of my eye, I saw it. The perfect place for Agent Speckle and I to do some real male bonding. It's blue neon lights beckoned me onward with their hypnotic pulse, and, quite without realizing it, I began to drift toward that glowing haven.
"FLII SWATTR GII!"
"Huh?" I turned to see who had called to me. The next instant, Agent Speckle slammed into me with a force that took my breath away and also knocked me at least ten feet. A huge truck rumbled by just a few inches from my face.
Gradually, the truth dawned on me. "Agent Speckle, YOU SAVED MY LIFE!" With a cry of delight, I wrapped my arms and legs around him, pulling him down on top of me.
"RY! WHAT ARE YOU DOING!" Agent Speckle struggled frantically to free himself from my embrace. Something black flew above us, cackling. Distracted, I let go of Agent Speckle.
He leapt to his feet. I don't think I've ever seen someone's face turn so red. I couldn't tell if he was mad or blushing. Maybe it was both. "Don't ever do that again!" he hissed.
I pointed to the neon signs that had been calling to me in the first place. "Can we go there to celebrate?" I asked, still flat on my back.
He shook his head in disgust and squinted through his precarious spectacles at the paradise. "An ice cream store?" I gave him my most innocent, wide-eyed smile. He cringed.
"Fine," he snapped. "But only if you promise to NEVER look at me like that EVER AGAIN."
I was soon seated on a blue fake-leather seat, shoving my face in a banana split Red-Bull float topped with hot fudge, caramel, and fifteen different kinds of sprinkles. Agent Speckle just watched me eat, insisting that after listening to my order he wasn't hungry anymore. I think he was just saving money to get me a really good birthday present this year.
"Don't you know what is in Red Bull?" Agent Speckle said.
I frowned. "It's an energy drink."
"If you read the ingredients, there's one ingredient that if you look it up in the dictionary, I'll bet you won't drink it anymore."
"Oh, yeah?"
He leaned forward and whispered in my ear. Understanding sank sickeningly quickly into my mind.
"AAAAAAARRRRRRRRRGGGGGGGGHHHHHHHHH!" I tried to spit out what I'd already ingested.
Agent Speckle just smirked at me. "That's why it's called 'Red BULL'," he said smugly. I just sat there, tears streaming down my face. This was even worse than that Chinese food and cats episode.
"You know, if you drown it in Mountain Dew and catnip, that thing might still be salvageable."
I jumped at the voice that spoke right behind me. Agent Speckle sighed in despair as I whirled to face none other than Agent Speckle's nemesis: Mr. Bad Man (DUN DUN DUN!)!
"I see you managed to keep your clothes on this time," said Agent Speckle monotonously. "What are you going to do this time, force Flii Swattr Gii to eat his ice cream?"
Mr. Bad Man chuckled ominously. "Speckle Mom, you're funny. I'm not going to force ice cream on your sidekick."
"He's not my sidekick." My heart seemed to stop. Was Agent Speckle abandoning me? Mr. Bad Man waited, looking confused.
"Aren't you going to ask me what I am going to do?" he asked, almost pleadingly.
"No."
"…Oh." Mr. Bad Man seemed unsure of what to do next. He looked hesitantly around the restaurant. It was then that I made my mistake. I scratched my nose, attraction his attention.
"Hah!" he rushed at me, purring and searching my pockets. "I am going to steal Flii Swattr Gii's FLY SWATTER!" With a yowl of success, he jumped onto the table, grasping my fly swatter in his hands, the handle slightly misshapen from the struggle.
Tears clouded my eyes. "NNNOOOOOOOO!" This couldn't happen! I grabbed one of Mr. Bad Man's legs in desperation. As he tried to shake me off, I discussed strategy with Agent Speckle.
"Agent Speckle, you have to save Michael!"
He stared at me in shock. "You named your fly swatter Michael? That's probably the stupidest thing I've ever heard."
"Is not! The swatter part used to be blue, before I left it out in the sun too long and things change color in the sun and it turned pink, so I named it Michael."
"What does that have to do with anything?"
"JUST SAVE MICHAEL!"
With a heavy sigh, Agent Speckle stood and began walking towards the counter. He was going to get help! Hope welled up within me, and from this hope I drew the strength to carry on in the struggle against Mr. Bad Man. He was beginning to kick at my head with his free leg, and needless to say I was having a difficult time avoiding his blows within the narrow confines of the booth. I watched Agent Speckle. Time seemed to slow as he got closer and closer to the counter. One of Mr. Bad Man's kicks managed to connect, and it was through a haze of pain that I heard Agent Speckle's word's to the cashier.
"Can I just get a glass of milk, please?"
My heart shattered. Agent Speckle, my one hope, my savior, had not come through for me. Tears welled up (yet again) as I watched the nervous cashier handed the had-been hero a tall glass of milk, condensation glistening on the slick surface.
It was then that I noticed that Mr. Bad Man had stopped moving. I looked up at him. He was gazing at the glass in Agent Speckle's hand, and I think he was purring. Before I could react, Mr. Bad Man had escaped from my hold and was dashing madly towards Agent Speckle.
"WRUCKENDAIN!" I cried in warning as I attempted to tackle Mr. Bad Man. I missed and tackled a poor employee instead, his 'Blue Skies Ice Cream' hat knocked askew.
Not a drop of milk was spilled as Mr. Bad Man snatched the glass from Agent Speckle's hands. Chuckling madly, he sprinted to the front of the shop where he posed for a photo opportunity, which several old ladies took advantage of.
"Your plans are foiled once again, Agent Speckle!" He held the glass of milk above his head dramatically. "I am now going back to my SECRET LAIR where I will drink this milk, all the while reveling in my victory!" With that, he was gone, teleported to who knows where.
Agent Speckle casually made his way past stunned customers to the doorway, where he crouched and picked something up. I stood up, releasing the employee from his pinned position on the floor.
"Agent Speckle?" I said tentatively.
He chuckled. "My wanna-be nemesis may have kept his clothes on, but he left the milk."
We left the Blue Skies Ice Cream shop, ignoring the manager's shouted demands for money. The traffic was beginning to clear up, and a soft June wind was blowing through the streets.
"What is it with blue today?" Agent Speckle burst out.
"What?" I frowned in confusion.
"Everywhere we've gone today, there's been BLUE! Blue Skies Ice Cream, That old lady we helped across the street was wearing blue, you've even got on BLUE FLIP-FLOPS!" He paused in thought. "I mean, today's 6-6-06, right? So, maybe it's Satan's Day today, and his favorite color is actually blue!"
I froze, an ice hand around my heart. How did he know? From above us, two ravens perched on a streetlamp cackled in delight. I think they were laughing at me.
Remember Sky. The ravens launched from their perch into the wind, still laughing at me as they swooped out of sight.