Author's Note: Hello again, and I hope everyone has had a happy Valentine's Day. In the scene at the White Apple Palace, there are more original characters, singers Rhett and Carlene, and piano girl, Juliet, as well as Earl and Henry Boston. (yes, in Tom's family! Shudders) Also more borrowing of classic musical pieces, specifically "Phantom of the Opera," (Andrew Lloyd Webber) "Show Boat" (Rogers and Hammerstein) and "Seven Brides For Seven Brothers" and (briefly) "Easter Parade" (Metro-Goldwyn-Mayer Studios, Inc, as mentioned.) Please read and review, as usual.
Chapter 23
It was after midnight when Mace dropped Valerie off at her house. She knew he probably wouldn't come in because he had to work in the morning. Just as he pulled into her driveway, she said, "Thanks for the nice night, Mace. Despite everything that happened, I had a wonderful time. Wow, I haven't been to a nightclub since Tom and I got engaged."
"My pleasure, darlin'," he replied, then kissed her goodnight. "I'm sorry 'bout Big Boss an' Nightshade. That was totally unexpected."
"I intend to take care of that hog as early as Sunday," she said as she left his car. "Especially if he crashes my date with Sundown and Highway tomorrow night! Call me early next week, and we'll see what we can do, okay?"
"No problem, sweetheart," Mace replied. "Good night. I love you."
"I love you, too." She closed the door and waved goodbye along the walkway.
She was thinking about Barricade when she got inside. He'd called her every night since he and Jeremy arrived in Washington. Yet, she never told him that she'd had a date with Mace tonight. She didn't want any jealousies or envy to ruin his vacation. However, he'd be very interested in what Big Boss did to her throughout the date, she believed. Sure, then you can tell him that Sundown and Highway asked you out for tomorrow night, she thought. She rolled her eyes, then went to her answering machine. One flash.
"Got to be Barricade," she said as she pushed the button.
Sure enough, she heard Barricade's voice. "Valerie! Valerie, it's Barricade. Where are you, sweetheart? I thought you'd be here by the phone, but I guess you're out with one of my colleagues. After all, while the cat's away, right? Anyway, if you don't get home too late, please give me a call back. Ask to be put through room 237. I love you."
Valerie checked the last caller on the ID. The Sheraton Hotel with a Washington D.C. area code number. Sure, if she called back, she'd ask the night shift workers to put her through. But Barricade would probably be sleeping by now. She wondered if he was dreaming of her. He'd indeed be annoyed and unappreciated that she disturbed something so wonderful. She decided to call him first thing the next morning. Besides, she was tired herself. She decided to go to bed.
"And then… we went… to… see… the… Thomas… Jefferson… Memorial," Jeremy told his mother when she called the next morning. "He… was… the one… who… wrote… the… Decoration… of… Indroparents."
"That's Declaration of Independence," Valerie corrected. "Well, I'm glad that you're having a good time over there. Could you put Barricade on for me, please?"
"All right," he answered. "I'll… talk… to you… later, okay? Bye."
"Bye-bye, sweetheart." Seconds later, she saw Barricade come on to the video screen. "Well, good morning, gorgeous."
"Hey, love," he said. "So, I take it you were out all last night. How did it go?"
"Oh, Barricade, I'm sorry we couldn't talk last night," Valerie apologized. "I had a good enough time. Mace was wonderful, but it could've been better if it weren't for the Big Boss." She explained the incident at Mace's apartment, with Big Boss at the door, and the disturbance that Big Boss created at the movies. She took a few breaths before getting to the scene at Electric Fruit.
"I'll just make this short and sweet," she said. "Mace and I were getting into dancing when we spotted those two come in with Turbo Tu-Tone and Rock Crusher. All three of them are still after me, it seems, not just that damn hog. I admit Turbo tried to be gentlemanlike, dancing with a distance so he couldn't crush my feet, but he obviously had to work harder. I don't think he can dance. Rock Crusher, he tried to choke me in attempt to dance with me.
"But it was Big Boss and Nightshade who were the biggest hassles, as usual! Big Boss spent the whole time trying to win me over off the dance floor. Telling him that fat men don't turn me on doesn't work, so I tried to tell him how badly he scares Jeremy. He told me that he could take care of my son, and show patience around him. Bullshit! He has about as much patience as a stressed parent in a house full of uncontrollable children! And thinks he can win my heart by buying me drinks. Meanwhile, Nightshade whined like a little child for Mace to take her back."
"Like that'd ever happen," Barricade said. "She's been acting kind of shady in the weeks prior to their separation."
"I know, she told him something about stealing jewelry for him, something I never knew," she replied. "Anyway, so Nightshade requested a song for him, apparently it was the same song she used to seduce him when he was over here that one time, do you remember him telling you that? So I joined her and Mace on the dance floor, and you should've seen her. Her dancing was just disgusting." Then, she got tearful as she explained the violence and kidnapping that followed. "But thank God the exits were already sealed off."
"Take it easy, Valerie. You're a resourceful woman. I'm sure you were able to fight them off."
"Oh yeah, they let go when I stomped on their feet. I rushed back to Mace as quickly as I could and he stayed with me until they were arrested. Of course, then we saw Sundown and Highway, and coincidently, they asked me out for another date tonight. Both of them are going to date me. I've never done that before."
Barricade looked dumbfounded on the screen. "Okay."
"Oh, I'm sorry, Barricade. Did I make you jealous? Oh, but you'll probably spend the rest of your trip scheming."
"Not really, but I should contact your cousin Graham for strategic advice."
She laughed a little bit. "What the hell would he know about what pleases me romantically?"
"I'm serious, Valerie. From what you told me about last night, I can tell I'm going to have to work even harder. And who knows what plans Sundown and Highway have for you?" He paused as he fought getting emotional, at least in front of Jeremy. "Valerie, I love you. I love you more than my own life, dammit! And look at Jeremy and me, he's like the son I've always wanted, even with his special needs. But my colleagues love you just the same, I know. And I'd sooner die than lose you to one of them. Valerie, tell me what to do. Tell me what I have to do to prove that I love you the most!"
"Barricade, for the love of God, calm down! You sound more desperate than you've ever been. Jeremy's probably listening; you're scaring him."
"I can't help it. I know I'd make the best husband for you, the best father for Jeremy. And I want to make it happen. Valerie, I want to take you as my wife in the near future. I think I'm justified in sounding desperate."
She touched her throat lightly, now the one who was speechless. Barricade wanting to marry her. She wanted to think he was moving quite quickly, but his unmistakable look told her he was indeed serious about it. "Holy crap!" she said. "Barricade, that was so wonderful, but you're starting to go a bit fast for me."
"And yet it's so easy to see, I am the one you must choose. You know how much Jeremy loves me."
"Yes, and I've seen it," she agreed. "But maybe Sundown never mentioned to you that Jeremy also bonded with him on his vacation." Barricade looked disgusted, but then she started crying, "Oh, Barricade, I beg you not to bring this up with him, and ask him to choose between you. You know he won't respond well to that kind of pressure."
"Right, I was thinking about that. I was picturing him crying."
She began to feel her stomach hurting, like there was a steel ball in the pit. Now, not only could she still not decide, she felt as if it came down to Sundown and Barricade… unless Highway desperately tried something tonight. She didn't want to think of any of it now, she had an important day ahead of her.
"Valerie, what's wrong?" Barricade asked. "Oh, honey, I'm so sorry if I'm putting so much pressure on you. Oh, listen to me, sounding like a despairing Romeo afraid of losing his Juliet. I'm spoiling my own fun. It's just that I've thought of you a lot when I'm not explaining American history to Jeremy. I've dreamt only of you these past three nights."
"The whole night? Most dreams don't last that long. And I've dreamt of you, too." And the rest of your competition as well, she thought.
She immediately started thinking about her radio commercial. Before she left work the day before, she'd called Paul Quinette to arrange a special meeting at her house for today. They'd come at two o'clock in the afternoon. She'd called Rhonda at her work, and she and Nicole would be coming at around lunchtime. She had to get ready, showered, dressed. She wouldn't have time for a written speech, though she knew she wouldn't need one. Besides, Barricade probably also had another productive day planned with Jeremy.
"Listen, Valerie, I have to go," Barricade said. "I can tell Jeremy's ready for a guided tour of the White House. Will you think about what I said? I'll call you later, okay? I love you."
"I love you, too, Barricade," Valerie replied. She said goodbye and hung up slowly.
Two hours later, she had already changed into an appropriate meeting outfit, her hair and makeup prepared. When she heard the doorbell ring, she smiled, knowing who it was, and immediately brought her guests in when she answered.
"Rhonda!" she said. "So glad you could make it." She noticed Nicole carrying a plastic bag with three wrapped submarine sandwiches. "Oh, and you brought lunch? Just the right time."
"Well, we thought it was a good idea to bring something here," Rhonda said. "We agreed on nothing sloppy or greasy. Messy clothes are not a good look with business clients."
In the kitchen, Rhonda opened all the sandwiches to see what was in them. She found one consisting of ham, lettuce and onions, and said, "Here, Val! I told Nicole you'd like this ham one." She put it on a plate and gave it to her sister. Then, Rhonda noticed the roast beef with all toppings on it for herself, same with a roast chicken one for Nicole.
At the table, Rhonda said, "Oh, you said something about Mace taking you out last night. How did it go?"
"God, he was so wonderful, but I wish it could've been better," Valerie replied. "It was that goddamn Big Boss who ruined it, along with Nightshade horning in." She explained the dinner, then started to eat a little faster as she rehashed the movie theater and nightclub incidents. "That little bitch just won't give him up!" Then, she revealed Sundown and Highway meeting them and added, "Now I'm going out with both of them tonight. Threesome date. I'm expecting them to call sometime in the next several hours, so I'll know what to wear. If it's anywhere fancy, maybe that same maroon dress I wore on my first date with Sundown."
"You mean that dress you decided to go swimming in, and Richard said was ruined when it dried out?" Rhonda suggested.
"Oh, shut up, I'm sure that dress did not say 'dry clean only.'"
Shortly after one, Valerie was just about to explain the business meeting procedure to her sister and niece, when the doorbell rang again. She went to the door, and looked at it nervously. "Crap!" she said. "They must be early. I told them not to come until two."
"So answer the door!" Rhonda said. "I'll prepare the stereo." She turned it on to the CD player, then quickly sat on the sofa beside her daughter.
Valerie saw Paul Quinette and Melissa Shores as she opened the door. "Welcome!" she said surprisingly. "I didn't expect you for another hour."
"Well, it's been a busy morning for us today," Mr. Quinette replied. "When we were finally able to take some time out for lunch, we decided to get this meeting done while we're at it." They followed Valerie to the living room, and saw her relatives.
"These must be the commercial actors you mentioned," Ms. Shores said.
"They are," Valerie responded. She introduced them to Rhonda and Nicole, then the clients introduced themselves to them. Valerie showed Mr. Quinette and Ms. Shores to the loveseat, then excused herself to get the commercial CD.
"As I explained to you yesterday," she said to the clients, "this radio commercial deals with a typical mother-daughter argument over which music they want to hear."
Shores nodded and said, "That's pretty interesting."
"Isn't it?" Valerie replied. "Now, the reason why you wouldn't hear parents ranting, or fighting with their children on radio advertising anymore is because in the past, many of those commercials are known to be too melodramatic, or have such grisly details about family cruelty and such, mostly to promote some hotline for family help. And in this day and age, we want to hear about situations that promote family friendliness and compromise, especially when promoting a station like JEWEL-FM."
"That's true," Mr. Quinette agreed.
Valerie turned to Rhonda and Nicole. "When I mentioned that I cast my sister and niece here in the commercial," she said, "you may have been quick to dismiss this as an easy way out of auditioning people. However, this decision was largely inspired by the overwhelming success of the Neapolitan Ice Cream Puffs cereal advertisement, which featured my son, Jeremy. Now, when my employer, George Sussex, first heard the commercial, unfortunately, he criticized Rhonda's acting, but saw potential for Nicole." She slid the CD in the player. "But I'll let you be the judge of that."
Mr. Quinette and Ms. Shores listened to Rhonda and Nicole's "arguing." Valerie saw smiles and nodding over the musical selections, satisfied looks over the "compromise" part, and the clients laughed a little at Nicole's line after that. When it ended, Ms. Shores said, "That was very good, if I do say so myself. I like the storyline concept, it's quite original from all the other commercials I've heard in my whole career, and it's obvious the lines were well written. 'I'm getting sick and tired of your rock and roll,' and the ironically memorable, 'Can I crank it up when we get to my music?' And I like the way it got vetoed. Very humorous."
"I agree," Mr. Quinette said. "I found that to be quite entertaining, despite your sister's obvious lack of acting skill." He turned to address Rhonda. "Rhonda, is it? I have one question. Are you sure that you were a fan of Celine Dion and Shania Twain back when they were popular? I'm just wondering about the accuracy and truth behind the lines spoken."
"I still am," she said. "I still have yet to hear any other artist who can beat out Celine Dion, voice-wise. And I had to use willpower to keep from singing along to that Shania bit in the commercial. I know all the words to every song she ever produced. My other favorites include Elton John, Mariah Carey and, when I was a teenager, Duran Duran." Mr. Quinette and Ms. Shores smiled at her, as if she'd be the perfect spokeswoman for the station.
They turned to Nicole next, and Rhonda decided to speak for her. "About her line that mentioned Purple Rainbow and Davina Dallas. Sir, I can assure you that my daughter is not into music like that. From what I've seen and heard, Davina Dallas is today what Avril Lavigne was nearly two decades ago, and not even I could stand her back then. Both claim to be punk rockers, but everyone knows that they're purely pop, or else you wouldn't have those two artists on your airplay roster. Nicole's more into the 'real punk rock' scene and harder bands. Music like… uh…"
"Fly On Drugs, Mom," Nicole replied. "Black Sunday. Satellite Jones. Targravy."
"Yes, anything that gives her father and me headaches," Rhonda said. "Mind you, I make her listen to your station in the car, as I refuse to listen to anything she calls music."
"My other niece, Sarah, listens to JEWEL-FM as well," Valerie said. "If you want, we can rerecord it with Sarah playing the daughter."
"No, that's okay," Ms. Shores said. "I think Nicole's performance will grab the attention of the young teens group who listens to Purple Rainbow and Davina, even if she doesn't. A splendid job on her part. As for Rhonda, I'll say that you shouldn't look into acting any time soon, but you do sound quite Mom-like in this thing, maybe from your experience."
"I agree," Mr. Quinette said. "Your speaking was a bit chilly, yet firm enough to get that point across that you've had it with your daughter blasting her stuff all the time."
"That's pretty much how it is at my house," Rhonda laughed.
"So it's a yes?" Valerie guessed.
"It's a yes for us," Mr. Quinette said. "If your writing and concept skills are that sound, maybe we can expect another commercial from you in the future. And just for your information, our station does a commercial-free 'radio theater' show every Sunday night. Think maybe you can also pull off a script for us?"
Valerie knew that was a joke, but the offer sounded so tempting to her. "I'll have to talk to both Lancer and Sussex about that," she said.
The meeting was concluded soon after, and minutes after the clients left, she heard the phone in the kitchen.
"It's probably Mr. Sussex," she said. "He's calling to congratulate me on a job well done." But when she got there, she saw Sundown's name displayed on the ID. "Or not!"
"Hello, Sundown," she answered when she saw him on the screen. "How was the rest of your shift?"
"Eventfully busy," he answered. "It just kept goin' after the raid at yer nightspot, even when we landed those crooks in prison. I'd give y'all the grisly details, 'cept it'd take all afternoon. All I'll tell ya right now is that when my shift ended at six this mornin', I went straight to bed, an' slept fer eight hours. Don't know 'bout Highway, though. I was so exhausted, I did somethin' I hardly ever do – slept wit my denims on. I just got up half an hour ago, an' felt surprisingly alive after a shower."
Valerie laughed, trying to picture Sundown wearing jeans to his bed. She laughed harder, imagining herself having sex with him in either bed while he was jeans-clad. "Oh, I'm sorry!" she said. "It's just that you sleeping in your jeans and underwear sounds a bit rich for me. I'll bet you have to air out your bed." When she calmed down, "So, I presume you called about tonight."
"Yep, just finished talkin' with Highway," he said. "There's some piano playin' and a couple of singers out from Atlanta tonight at the White Apple Palace. Some selections from old musicals, from what I was told. Just that club, no dinner 'forehand. Hope that's all right wit ya."
"Sounds great, but tonight?" she wondered. "How were you able to make reservations?"
"Nonsense. It may look like a fancy place for the elite rich upper class, but it's a very public spot. It ain't like no fancy, expensive restaurant, where you gotta reserve a table a few days in advance. It's just one of those places where you can have a good champagne."
"In that case, I'm in." Then, Valerie had another thought. "You know, Big Boss wanted to take me there last night for a special evening. He was so mad when I told him about my date with Mace, that's why he stalked me last night. And pardon the frank language, but he'll be so pissed if he finds out I'm going there with you and Highway instead of him."
"Must be one of his favorite hangouts, I reckon. Well, he an' his cronies deserve to see you in the company of two of the good men."
"Yeah, that'll make them all squirm."
"So, Highway an' I will pick you up at seven tonight. Wear yer best dress. See ya."
"See you." Valerie hung up and went to her sister. "Rhonda! I have another date. Sundown and Highway are taking me to the White Apple Palace tonight! Are you sure that maroon dress I wore two months ago is okay? I'm pretty sure it is."
"I'm sure it got all mucky after you decided to go swimming in it," Rhonda answered. "Don't you have anything else?"
Valerie was about to answer when the phone rang again. It was the Lancer and Sussex agency. She saw Mr. Sussex on the video when she answered.
"Valerie, I got a call from Mr. Quinette, saying your commercial was already accepted," he said. "Once again, I must say how pleased I am with you."
"Thank you, sir," she said, then thought of the last thing Mr. Quinette said. "Uh, boss, you ever hear of that Sunday night radio theater show that JEWEL-FM airs? You think maybe I can write one of those scripts for them as a side project?"
After dinner, Valerie searched her closets for the same maroon dress she wore at the beach that first time with Sundown. She found it in her bathroom closet. It still looked to be in good condition, but she checked the wash labels anyway. "Machine wash in warm water, then tumble dry low," she said to herself. "Which I did as soon as we got back from Karen's that time. Hah! Not dry clean, Rhonda."
She changed into it and examined herself in the mirror. Maybe the dress shrunk a few inches at the bottom, but it still fit her. She was braless, too, just like the last time. She went to her main closet for the perfect pair of shoes. She was convinced that an evening of piano music and big bands at fancy nightclubs called for fancy pairs of shoes. She put on a black pair with a small diamond in the middle of each one. She decided she looked perfect for the White Apple Palace. Now, with some glitzy jewelry, she'd look like she was going out for New Year's Eve.
She was sitting in her living room, wondering what transportation would be used. She thought of Sundown's truck, but it was probably the two of them with Jeremy that one time they went to watch the sunset. She tried to remember. Three adults in a truck would only take up so much room. And Highway's motorcycle obviously wasn't going to help. So what was he going to drive?
Soon, she heard the doorbell. She answered to see Sundown in a black tuxedo with a yellow carnation, and a black cowboy hat. She was amazed as he kissed her hand.
"Wow, I thought were just going to be entertained by a 1940's sounding band," she said. "You look like we're going to a formal ball. Too bad I don't own a pair of long black gloves." She stepped outside and locked the door.
Down the walkway, she noticed Highway's light blue Sedan. Sundown was telling her, "The White Apple Palace is known fer its ritzy atmosphere, 'specially fer nights like this. That's what makes it so nice. I've been there twice fer police charity functions, and they were pretty formal. That's why I told ya to wear yer best dress." But Valerie was too immersed in the car to pay much attention. He touched her face so she could look at him. "An' you do look lovely this evenin'. I remember that dress so well."
At the car, she noticed Highway sitting at the wheel, and it suddenly came back to her. "And I remember this car!" she declared. "Highway took Jeremy to the waterslides in this car last month."
Sundown opened the front passenger door for her, and as she got in, noticed Highway also dressed in a black tuxedo. He kissed her lips, and she said, "Wow, how ritzy is the White Apple Palace again? I'd think you're a bit overdressed."
"It's pretty fancy," Highway said. ""It's kind of like stepping back into the Depression and Second World War eras. The crystal and brass chandeliers and lighting fixtures definitely give off this atmosphere. You'll notice that from the get-go. Sometimes people will flock there to hear music from those eras. The big bands just look authentic. If male guests don't dress in tuxedos, they usually wear suits and ties. And the women usually dress like you are. Oh, but you will definitely fit in with that dress. You look marvelous."
"Thank you," Valerie replied. "And what about poetry readings? Hardtop wanted to take me there for that when we went out that one time. Not that I have anything against Whitney Morgan, but we would've made it that far if she hadn't shown up at that restaurant."
"Didn't even know they held poetry readin's," Sundown said from the back.
"Me neither, that sounds so informal for this place," Highway agreed. "Maybe the dress code is casual yet dressy for men, slacks and colorful dress shirts."
"Can you believe I wore a scarlet evening dress to work that day?" Valerie commented. Both C.O.P.S. started to laugh. "I know, very unprofessional, but he picked me up from work."
When they arrived, the first thing Valerie saw was a guest book in the corridor, and an entrance worker standing at the doorway. "Wow," she said. "You don't make reservations here, and yet they make you sign a guest book? I guess this is a fancy place." She was the first to put her name down, then Highway and Sundown.
Valerie looked all around inside the showroom. Booths along the walls big enough to sit around six people, she guessed, the seating made of cherry oak and padding of brown leather. Tables with chairs made of the same cherry oak, but the leather padding on those ones was black. All the tables were probably made of cherry oak, too, but they were all covered with white linen tablecloths. Each one had a small lamp in the middle, with the shades reminiscent of stained glass window fixtures. They all looked pretty, though.
"Oh, how beautiful," she cooed. "Look at all those table lamps. I'll bet they were all bought from Tiffany's."
The three sat down at one of the few vacant tables, and Valerie stared over at the stage. A woman with light brown hair, wearing a goldenrod-colored evening gown, just plinking away on a white baby grand piano. Valerie stared back at her dates. She didn't have to look around anymore to be convinced that this was a beautiful club.
Meanwhile, Big Boss, Rock Crusher, Turbo Tu-Tone, Dr. Badvibes and Buttons McBoomBoom were in the limousine, on their way to the White Apple Palace, all dressed up in tuxedoes. Big Boss, Turbo and Crusher had escaped from prison that morning, as usual, and Big Boss wanted the evening that he never got with Valerie. He was also thinking about how she caused the latest arrest, still reeling.
"Oh, if I ever see that woman again," he seethed, "I'm gonna really let her have it! It's bad enough that she's still resistin' us, but when she has us go to jail fer a second time when we had all good intentions…" He was now reeling over the first time they kidnapped her, and their resulting battle with the C.O.P.S. "Oh, she's gonna learn once an' fer all that no jail cell can hold me, and I have ways of makin' her love me!"
"Cheer up," Buttons said. "Tonight, the Palace's doin' piano entertainment themed around old movie musicals. I'm sure it'll be better than last night. An' who knows, we may not even see Valerie there."
"I don't know," Big Boss replied. "When I invited her, she said she'd rather go wit anyone else but me."
"We found her at a techno place, remember?" Turbo informed him. "You think a woman like her would be seen at the White Apple Palace fer this kind of thing?"
When they arrived, they could hear loud mixed chatter from the door. As the approached the guest book, Dr. Badvibes said to Big Boss, "Let me sign my name first, then the rest of the crooks, then you. After all, we must save the best signature for last."
But as he was about to sign, Dr. Badvibes and the rest of the followers noticed something quite shocking. Big Boss was about to ask when Crusher said, "Uh, boss, looks like she decided to come here without ya." They pointed out Valerie, Sundown and Highway's signatures, and Big Boss became so furious, he shoved them all aside to sign the guest book first.
Meanwhile, inside the showroom, Valerie had finished a glass of vodka with apple juice, then said to Sundown and Highway, "Say you guys wanted to plan the wedding with me. Tell me all the details you'd want. Now I've already had a church affair when I married Tom, so it'd have to be something really special."
"Why wouldn't ya want a church weddin', Valerie?" Sundown asked. "I reckon that while a bride can be married a thousand times, each one should be a lovely church weddin'. At least that's what my Mama believes."
"Sundown, the etiquette books say only one church affair per bride," she replied. "That means–" Suddenly, she noticed the bad guys' presence. "Oh shit, you guys, look who's coming this way!"
They all watched as Big Boss and his lovestruck minions sat in a booth across from them. Valerie looked away and reached across to take Highway's hand. She slowly looked back at them, and saw them talking amongst themselves. Big Boss caught her eye contact and glared back at her. She looked fearful at her dates. "Shit, now I see why he is mad at me. Maybe it was a bad idea to come here."
Sundown promptly brought her chair over to his, and put his arm around her. He made her look into his eyes. "My love, you'll not think to look at him. If I remember correctly, you were tellin' me how a bride can have only one church weddin'. Tell me how this can be."
Suddenly, the piano music stopped, and they saw a dark brunette in a sapphire evening gown standing on the stage with a man with graying brown hair, in a tuxedo just like Sundown and Highway's, and the crooks. The woman was speaking into a microphone. "Welcome, y'all my friends!" She had a deep Southern accent. "How lovely that we got a full house tonight. Y'all can call me Carlene, and this here's my singin' partner, Rhett – ain't he a handsome gentleman, ladies – an' on the piano is the lovely Juliet."
Valerie examined Rhett for a few moments, pretending to listen as he talked about favorite musicals, then looked back at Sundown and Highway. She shook her head and said, "No, he doesn't even compare to you two." She stared at the singer again, trying to guess his real age. "He has to be a few years older than Hardtop, and he's going gray already. At this rate, his face might be wrinkled before he's forty-five." She giggled even though it was a little insensitive. "Men getting old before their time aren't all that attractive, in my opinion."
This time, Valerie was listening intently as Rhett said, "How many of you are all fans of Phantom of the Opera?" She noticed his Southern accent was rather attractive, almost matching Sundown's. "Well, Carlene an' I went to see it many years ago as teenagers, an' we loved it so much, we started singin' like that Phantom and Christine immediately, though I would've preferred to be the Count Raoul myself."
After his speech, Juliet began to play Music of the Night, and everybody listened to Rhett sing. From time to time, Valerie would look over at Big Boss, and catch her either ignoring her or glaring at her coldly. It kept happening as Rhett and Carlene started singing the musical's title song. Still, she tried to concentrate on the music.
Valerie and Sundown ordered martinis, hoping it would help her to relax. It started to work for a few more songs. Then, when Carlene introduced another musical, Show Boat, Highway noticed Big Boss and Dr. Badvibes coming their way. He tapped Sundown's shoulder and pointed. Valerie looked back at him, and tried to ignore him.
"Well, well, well, Valerie Boston," Big Boss said while he stood over her. "You wouldn't come here wit me last night, but you'll come here tonight wit these two copperheads?"
Sundown slammed his hand on the table. "Now, you listen here, you varmint!" he began.
"Let me handle this, sweetheart," Valerie replied. She turned to the Big Boss.
"I think I meant what I said when I told you I'd rather come here with anyone else but you and your little gang," she said to him. "Now, it's fine if you're here with your little group. You can keep to yourselves in your little booth over there. Leave me here with my own dates. You can't make me join you."
"Well, you don't have to be so rude about it," Dr. Badvibes said.
"Okay, how many times have you all asked me out?" Valerie replied. "Too many to count, I know. And how many times did I tell you, 'no?' Too many to count, I know. Now, I'm losing my patience with you at a rather moderate rate. I think that's all the reason to be rude with you. But even this is not working with you, is it? I'd say I'm pretty close to becoming a she-devil, expect I'm afraid you'd kill me in your jealous rage if I actually did." She finished her martini.
"Maybe I need to order you another drink," Dr. Badvibes offered. "Perhaps it'll help make you less crabby."
"No, what will make me less crabby is if you go away and stop staring at me from your booth," Valerie corrected.
"In fact, why don't you just leave?" Highway added. "You've obviously come here to harass Valerie like you did last night. You ruined her date, Big Boss, you and your crooks; she was so miserable when we saw her and Mace. You're not going to ruin tonight for her."
"How in the hell didja get outta jail to begin wit?" Sundown demanded. "Speakin' of what happened last night, that's the reason why we put y'all away there. They were s'posed to keep a strict eye on ya."
"Maybe you're unaware of the new 'cutting knife' device I've added to the air speeder," Dr. Badvibes said. "Strong and sharp enough to cut through any wall made of any substance. Not to brag, but I was able to locate their jail cell and cut a big square hole in the wall. I thought you C.O.P.S. knew, if you bust one of us to send to jail, then the rest of us have ways of getting them out."
"Nice try, but those smarts of yours aren't going to get me to you anytime soon," Valerie told him. She stood up and shooed Big Boss and Dr. Badvibes back to their booth. Dr. Badvibes looked disgusted, so he grabbed his leader's hand and left.
Valerie moved her chair towards the stage, and vowed to listen to Rhett and Carlene sing for the rest of the night. Carlene had just finished a song about how she "can't help lovin' that man", and during the applause, Highway said, "Here, let me order you another drink, sweetheart." He called for the waiter, flagging him down. Seconds later, Highway ordered, "How about an apple martini for the lady?"
"And I'll have some brandy wit cinnamon," Sundown added.
When the applause died down, Rhett said into his microphone, "Thank y'all, everyone. Now Carlene and I would like to take a break from Broadway, and take you all the way to the musicals of Hollywood, specifically, a famous studio called Metro-Goldwyn-Mayer – now that one was famous for its musicals, wasn't it?"
"So was Warner Brothers, I believe," Valerie whispered. "And Columbia Pictures, too? Didn't that one do My Fair Lady?"
"I'd just like to start out with one of mine an' Carlene's favorite romantic musical movies from that golden age, with Howard Keel an' Jane Powell, Seven Brides For Seven Brothers." He noticed the waiter giving drinks to Valerie, Sundown and Highway directly across from him. "An' I see we have one potential bride an' two brothers here tonight… uh, you two guys are brothers, right?"
"Police colleagues, actually," Highway corrected. "And there's more of us, too." Everyone else except Big Boss and his gang laughed. Valerie blushed, but wasn't at all embarrassed.
"Well, there's an idea fer a romantic musical," Carlene said. "Call it I Want To Be A Police Wife." More laughter.
Then, Juliet began to play the opening bars of Bless Your Beautiful Hide. "I believe this is the first song sung in the film, so let's hit it!" Rhett introduced, then sang like a cowboy with the strength of a lumberjack from Maine. After he finished, Sundown declared, "Aw hell, I can sing like that, no problem."
"Then why don't you get up there and try?" Highway challenged.
Valerie slapped his hand lightly. She said, "It's very rude for him to just jump up there in the middle of a piece."
They listened quietly until Rhett and Carlene began the last song of the musical piece, then Valerie overheard another stranger say behind her, "Well, well, well, if it isn't Valerie Boston and her little police bastards. Long time, no see, and for a good reason."
She turned to see two tall men with graying hair, one of them going bald, standing over her. They were dressed in gray and black business-like suits, and glaring at her like they wanted to slap her. She felt nauseated, and whispered, "Oh… my… fucking… God."
Sundown looked just as displeased, more people intruding on their date. "Who in hell are you," he blasted softly, "and what in hell do you want?"
Valerie touched Sundown's hand. "This is my ex-father-in-law, and his brother," she whispered.
"Oh, come on, Valerie, just because there's a song going on, doesn't mean you can't speak up!" the man in gray blasted. He glared at Sundown and Highway. "My name is Earl Boston, and this is my brother, Henry. I am Tom Boston's father!"
"Great, the one name I'm trying to forget," she muttered. Then, in a little higher tone, "Look, Earl, you've probably been here since you learned about Tom's death, haven't you? If you're here to give me details about the funeral, you're wasting your time. I'm not attending."
"Save it, you independent-minded harlot!" Earl shouted, then the music stopped. Everyone was staring at Valerie's table as he continued speaking. "Valerie Slamier Boston, I want you to know that I hold you responsible for what happened to my only child son. When you and Tom got married, I told you both that I didn't care about becoming a grandfather, and that Tom should focus his energies on the business that I passed down to him. Of course, you knew when you were engaged that Tom had plans of his own for the store I worked so hard to give him. Expansions! Chains outside the state! He said he would! You knew that a child would complicate all that, and yet you insisted on receiving his seed!"
"Excuse me, but is it wrong for me to have a career and family all my own?" Valerie cried. "Especially since my sisters and cousins were having babies of their own, and my family felt I shouldn't be any different."
"Which is more important, Valerie!" Earl blasted. "A family of your own, or working hard to live the American dream?"
"Excuse me, but becoming a billionaire, retiring at forty-five, owning a yacht, and six expensive homes in South America, Australia and southwestern Europe, are not what all Americans dream of!" Valerie protested. "At least, that wasn't what my father and uncles dreamed of for their families!"
"Welcome to the real world, woman!" Earl roared. "The days of a man just needing to put a roof over his family's head, keep them fed, and make sure the bills are paid, all the while making quality time to spend with them, are over! Nowadays, people are going for the big picture, and they did it by putting children at the BOTTOM of their priority lists! I had Tom join me in my business with the visions that he'd have everything offered to him, too – and you!"
"Oh, how typical!" Valerie said, angrier. "Where did you get that ludicrous idea that wealth, riches and materialistic things were all part of what's important, that which you obviously taught your son? I don't care about owning my own limousine, or a one hundred fifty thousand-story mansion in the Hamptons, or all that other shit. My parents would not have put up with that kind of spoiled attitude from my sisters or me! I'm an advertising manager with a sixty-five grand annual salary, and I'm not looking to be on the cover of Forbes in MY lifetime! So sorry if I ruined THAT for you!"
Rhett spoke into the microphone. "Uh, is there a problem, ma'am? I can get the entrance worker to git rid of the intruders."
"No, that's quite all right," Valerie answered back. "Maybe you people on the stage should keep out of this!"
"All the greatest men in the world strive to be wealthy, Valerie," Henry said. "If the world doesn't judge a man by the amount of riches he has, they should."
"If only you'd used protection, or better yet, kept your goddamn legs closed," Earl added, "or had an abortion when Tom demanded it, you would have had something a lot bigger than that old house you lived in. You'd still be married to my son. And he wouldn't have had to declare bankruptcy and start over at your selfish desires. Face it, girlie-pie, you had Jeremy only to satisfy your self-important whim."
"Why, you arrogant, money-hungry, self-absorbed asshole!" Valerie spat. "No wonder you never came around to see Jeremy or me at the house! No wonder Tom always wanted to visit you by himself! You think of Jeremy as an inconvenience, just like Tom did! You think of your own grandchild as a mistake! Is that what you had Tom thinking when he was shaking him violently all the time?"
"I told him to do something – anything – to make that baby see early on that he was not wanted in the Boston family!" Earl blasted. "I didn't care if he took him to the deepest lake, held him upside-down and kept his head underwater for given periods of time. I felt that what I told him was appropriate. And we never talked about that kid when he did come over."
"Well, then I guess you'll be happy to know how successful you were. Thanks to Tom, Jeremy's brain has been so severely damaged to the point–"
"Oh, save the sob story, you permissive little bitch!" Earl exploded. "Tom's told me every little defense mechanism you ever used." He started to mimic her. "Jeremy can't learn any lessons, easy or hard. He's not able to tell right from wrong. He's not physically able to do many chores. He'll never be able to do well in school. That's all just a bunch of horse shit! At least Tom was trying to do his part to show that bad behavior would not be tolerated in his house!"
Henry stared at both Highway and Sundown. "My nephew, Tom, was a good man and a good provider. And you decided to take him from this world because you fell for Valerie's lies. I hope you both lose your careers after a through investigation over this." He turned to Valerie. "As for you, if only you'd brought him to my house so that Tom could take him, like he asked you to, instead of letting him go to the zoo with your damn boyfriends, he'd still be alive today. I'm positive he would've been a much better parent to him than you've ever been."
She started to protest, but Henry wouldn't let her speak. "And I'd like to add to my brother's comments about Jeremy's behavior not being tolerated. I strongly believe that there is nothing wrong with spanking and beating mentally disabled children like him. It is for the same reason that many parents of these children won't let them have extra services for their education. You see, spanking and beating these types of children whenever they misbehave gives them a sense of normalcy, which they want and need, and that's why Tom insisted that what he did was discipline, not abuse. 'He must be treated like a normal child, and given the same type of punishment for any misbehavior.' That was the advice given to your husband when Jeremy was declared mentally damaged. And from what Tom told me, you continued to let the boy walk all over you, and used his disabilities to justify your cause."
"Shut up, you old goat!" Sundown barked. "That had to be the most pretentious an' arrogant speech I've ever heard! All that stuff about Jeremy havin' a sense of normalcy is all a crock! Did you know that he can't speak at a normal rate, despite an amazin' vocabulary for his functionin' age? Did you know that he's prone to movin' his head all around 'cuz his neck muscles were ruined from all the shakin'? You think those are the physical traits of a normal child?"
"Thank you, Sundown!" Valerie interjected, then turned to the senior brothers. "Jeremy will never be a normal child. I know this. My family knows this. Sundown and Highway and all the other C.O.P.S. know this. Jeremy just turned eleven, and I don't know how much longer he has left to live. He could very well die shortly after he turns eighteen. I'll be surprised if he lives that long. Hell, he may not even live to see his sixteenth birthday. But Tom was too bullheaded to see that. If he had been successful, Jeremy wouldn't have lived to see his twelfth. You want someone to blame, blame the judge who finalized our divorce, but doesn't be surprised if he doesn't side with you."
"Oh, believe me, I spelled all this out in my testimony," Earl said. "However, it had to be when you weren't in the courtroom, Valerie, because I couldn't stand the sight of you. And I obviously still can't. The way you act like both a parent and a friend to your son. Hah! It sends confusing and contradictory messages to him and you know it. And I don't mind you dating a policeman with a special detrimental talent, but no self-respecting woman would date more than one at the same time. You're doing your son no favors with your sluttish behavior. Harlot!"
"Quit calling Valerie a damn harlot!" Highway barked. "She may be a passive-permissive parent who dates around, but she has a damn valid reason for it! And your views on disciplining mentally retarded children are wrong, Henry. If you didn't think about yourselves so much, you'd understand that disciplining children like Jeremy takes a lot of time and patience. And another thing, your 'darling' son and nephew did deserve to die. Tom Boston was a wife-abuser and child abuser who never gave a damn shit about his family! We don't want to hear about how this man was spanked as a child, and he turned into a functional member of society because of it. That was no excuse for him to treat Jeremy the way he did."
"These men I'm in love with are ten times better fathers to Jeremy than Tom ever was," Valerie told them. "You should see them, they're the epitome of how a real man should be with his boy, showing love, kindness and strength towards him, to make sure he's happy, confident and well-adjusted. I think Jeremy will be much happier with whoever I choose among them."
"Now I reckon it's time fer you ol' timers to leave," Sundown concluded. "We don't want yer kind around here."
"Not until you tell us where Jeremy is," Earl insisted. "We'll wait as long as we have to."
"Fuck off!" Valerie remarked. "I'm not telling you where he is. You just want to take custody of him and finish what Tom had been doing. Let me tell you something, then, I'm not going to let you."
"Hey, entrance man!" Sundown called to the entrance way. "I've got here a coupla crashers who still won't go away." The entrance worker stepped inside and took the brothers out, everyone applauding after them. Still, Valerie sat back down, put her face into her hands and began sobbing. Sundown and Highway immediately came to comfort her.
Big Boss and his gang could only look on in disgust and jealousy.
When it was quiet again, Rhett said into his microphone, "Now, I reckon maybe the waiters should bring a straight Sprite on the rocks to the poor, sobbin' woman in the maroon dress over there. And I won't get into that Sobbin' Women song again, it just might upset her. Instead, we'll just git to our next number, another M-G-M piece called Easter Parade."
Juliet began to play the title song of the musical, Rhett began singing, and the evening continued without incident or interruption.
That's it for this one. Until next chapter! I promise, it'll be very special!