Chapter Three

It was all so comfortingly familiar. The feel of her flightsuit. The sharp click of the metal collar as it snapped around her neck. Her fingers slipping easily around the controls. The crackle of the voice through her helmet telling her she was ready for launch. The acceleration thumping her back into her seat as she hurtled out of the launch tubes.

And then she was home.

Soaring free through the cold dark with nothing to hold her down.

She felt as if she was breathing freely for the first time since she'd stepped on to Pegasus. Since Sam had proposed – scratch that, since the first moment she'd got off the raptor on New Caprica.

At the thought of the planet she felt suddenly enclosed; even the loose circle of the remaining fleet ships was too much. She pushed the throttle as far as she could go and headed at full speed for the empty black beyond them, only stopping when she was far enough away that she could imagine herself alone.

"You're in a hurry, Starbuck," came his laughing voice through her headset. "Got somewhere to go?"

Well, of course she wasn't alone, but she didn't mind when it was Lee. The one thing better than flying was flying with him, although she hated to admit it.

"Just testing your reflexes, Apollo," she shot back. "I wasn't sure you'd still be able to keep up with me."

"You'll have to do better than that to shake me off."

"Follow this then." Kara turned a barrel roll without warning. Their vipers were so close that she knew she would knock his wing if he didn't start turning more than a fraction of a second after she did.

He did, though. She'd known that as well.

"Still pulling the same crazy stunts," he gasped when they finished the roll. "You're a menace, Starbuck. Always have been." He was trying to sound reproving, but she could tell he was smiling.

"Don't give me that, Apollo. I've seen you pull a few crazy stunts in your time."

"Only when you led me on."

"Sure, cause you're just a poor sap with no will of your own."

"You got me," he said, and they both laughed.

How long had it been since she had flown with Lee? Long enough to forget how easy it was, how much fun. Things were never awkward between them in the air.

"Ready for more, Apollo?" she asked, shaking free of the sudden melancholy.

"Frak, that sounds weird." His voice was wistful. "No-one calls me Apollo any more, you know. It's either 'Commander Adama' or 'sir'."

"Well, you won't get that from me. I never called you 'sir' without a major struggle when I was in the fleet, so I'm certainly not going to start again now."

He laughed at that, as she had meant him to.

"Not many people call me Starbuck now, either," she said quietly. "Oh, the fleet people do, when I see them, but all the people I've met on the planet just know me as Kara." She still found that unsettling. Used to be that Kara was her personal name, the one those closest to her used; now it was the other way round.

"You'll always be Starbuck to me," he said, and there was something in his voice that made her tense, that particular combination of softness and intensity that always spelled danger.

So she dealt with it as she always did.

"Enough talking, Apollo," she said brusquely. "We've got fuel to burn," and shot away from him as fast as she could.

It was true, though. They didn't have time to waste talking. This would probably be the last time they had the chance to fly together. Might even be the last chance she got to fly a viper at all. She had to make the most of it.

So she did. Pushed her viper to the absolute limits, going as fast as she could. Tried all the most extreme manoeuvres she knew – the most complicated, the most flashy, the most ridiculous, the most risky. Anything that made her adrenalin surge and her heart pound with exhilaration.

Lee kept pace with her through it all. Every twist, every turn, every angle. She expected him to raise a protest at some of the more dangerous stunts, but he didn't. She supposed everyone needed a break from responsibility sometimes, and there was a part of Lee that had always enjoyed risk, enjoyed danger, much as he liked to deny it.

Or perhaps he was just as aware as she was that this might be the last time.

After a while Lee spun away from her in a manoeuvre of his own, and she followed a heartbeat behind him, instinctively recognising what he intended. It had always been like this when they flew together; they'd never needed words, not even the first time they'd flown together in the simulators all those years ago.

It surprised her to think how much of their time flying together had actually been spent in sims, whiling away the hours waiting for Zak to finish a class. They'd only flown together for real after Lee arrived on Galactica, in battle or on CAP half braced for Cylons to appear. They'd never been able to simply fly and enjoy it.

Until now.

It came to an end all too soon, the red fuel light blinking on her control panel long before she was ready for it. She swore silently.

"Time to go home." Lee sounded as disappointed as she was, but he didn't hesitate to turn his viper and head back towards the Pegasus.

Kara followed more slowly. For a moment she was tempted to head in the other direction. To ignore her fuel light and just keep flying, away from the fleet until her engines failed and it was just her and her viper alone with the stars. Nothing else. Nothing to hurt her or trouble her, ever again.

But that would be giving up, and she didn't give up. It had been her creed for as long as she could remember. So she followed Lee back towards Pegasus, entering the ship without flinching.

When she landed she couldn't bring herself to move for a moment. All the bustle and light and noise around her was just too overwhelming, too unsettling. She wanted to be back in the quiet dark.

I won't forget this, she vowed to herself, as a deck hand opened her canopy and she lifted off her helmet. I'll never forget this. Not one single second.

The deck hand unsnapped her metal collar and descended the steps, but Kara stayed where she was. Just a few more moments, she thought. A few more moments to sit in her viper and pretend that she was still Starbuck, still a pilot, still belonged here.

She felt the tears press and closed her eyes.

After a minute she heard someone climb up the ladder, and then his voice, low and concerned.

"Kara? Are you all right?"

She felt a stir of anger. How did he always know? How were those damned blue eyes of his able to see through her so easily, see what no-one else did?

She opened her eyes and sent him the cockiest Starbuck grin she could dredge up.

"Always fussing over nothing, Apollo. I'm fine. Now get your ass off my ladder so I can get out of here."

He looked at her intently for a moment, then nodded and climbed down the ladder. Kara could see he didn't entirely believe her, but then he was right not to.

It was a lie. She wasn't fine.

But she would be. She was going to make sure of that.