Chapter 27
Teresa was proofreading Cindy's memo the next morning, her face sullen. "How disgusting," she said. "The day I put out my memo about you, Valerie, Donna told me flat out that she was going to ignore it. At lunch, no less. She asked why I was suddenly siding with you about your parenting. I told her I never said a word about it, just your love life. Thank God Lancer and Sussex were somewhere else when we were talking, they would've surely fired her then."
"I hope they do," Valerie agreed. "I hope they fire that whole damn group, especially Kim. They've got a lot of money invested in this business. I think they last thing they want to do is put cameras in my office, and break rooms, to capture more incidents."
Suddenly, they heard another familiar woman calling Valerie's name. Teresa quickly hid the memo. They turned to see Linda, looking peeved.
"So glad this desk is en route to the coffee room, and so glad Valerie is here," she said. "I looked all over for you late yesterday afternoon, you weren't here! I tried calling you last night, you wouldn't answer the damn phone."
"You tried calling me last night?" Valerie cried. "But my number's not in the phone book." Then, after a thought, "Oh, you hounded Barricade for it, didn't you?"
"Shut your ass up!" Linda barked. "Kim, Joe and I were chatting three-way on the computer last night. They went on and on about Jeremy's misbehavior, and how you did nothing to curb it."
"It was a commercial promoting Shaken Baby Syndrome awareness," Valerie answered. "Jeremy was only displaying the natural symptoms because he was restless most of the morning. And anyway, you tend to the legal side of this business. Never mind this, why would you be remotely interested in any assignment?"
"You call it natural symptoms," Linda said. "The more quality parents call it an excuse to let him act however he wants to. The fact that Kim and Joe were taking charge of him yesterday morning is disgusting! It's bad enough that you vocally objected to Kim yelling at him to be quiet. But to comfort a child who's been spanked? Is your brain on Venus somewhere?"
"I was the one who did most of the stopping," Cindy said. "Whether you want to admit it or not, you don't put your hand on a child like Jeremy to discipline. It doesn't do a damn thing to help. Our client, Dr. Taylor, said so."
"Oh, yes, they told me what you did, Cindy," Linda sneered. "Banishing Joe from directing and making Kim hold your cue cards so she wouldn't touch him. I think that's going all over the workplace now." She turned to Valerie. "As for you, bitch, I hope that when Lancer and Sussex hear about this, they either fire you or make you take parenting classes. You can so smack a mentally retarded child for wrongdoing; this 'doesn't do a damn thing to help' shit is just the doctors siding with these outrageous spanking laws. You know it, I know it, everybody knows it. If you lectured the staff at one of our client businesses about parenting special needs children, and you said that kind of crap, that client would say to the bosses, 'You've just lost yourself a customer until Ms. Boston is fired or made to take parenting classes.'"
"You lying bitch!" Valerie remarked. "They would not!"
"Well, I certainly would! I wouldn't want to do business with someone who refused to discipline their children." She toned down her anger in attempt to give advice. "Valerie, you shouldn't be afraid to spank and beat Jeremy whenever he gets disruptive and disrespectful, and doesn't listen to you. You just have to do it more often than you would if he were normal. He should be spanked on a regular basis. That's what I told Mr. Sussex when he brought me into his office about you. You can't be his friend, and you certainly cannot be both parent and friend to him. That sends confusing and contradictory messages. And that's not parenting. Now you think about that." She continued on to the coffee room, and they waited until she was out of sight.
"Well!" Valerie scoffed like an upper class British woman. "We'll see what Mr. Sussex and Dr. Taylor have to say about that!" She turned to Teresa. "Put that copy of the memo through the paper shredder. Cindy and I will come back in about twenty minutes with a revised document."
"I have my disk in my office," Cindy added.
Meanwhile, at C.O.P.S. headquarters, Bowzer had been feeling like an outcast. Except during assignments, none of his colleagues had wanted to talk civil to him since he came back from his suspension. Not even Hardtop and Mainframe, whom he'd scared off when they tried to comfort him about losing Valerie.
His competitors were especially angry. When they'd heard about what he did with Valerie, they were so disgusted, they vowed never to speak with him socially until they felt it was time for an intervention. Today, when Barricade, Highway, Mace and Sundown all checked in together, they saw Bowzer staring lowly at his computer screen, Blitz with his paws on his master's lap for comfort. They huddled immediately.
"Anyone think he's learned his lesson yet?" Mace asked softly.
"I'm thinking he has," Barricade answered. "Look at him, he's obviously stewing in his thoughts about what a jerk he'd been."
"Then I reckon we should tell him how he hurt Valerie," Sundown suggested, "an' teach him a few things about how a lady should be treated. If he shows further remorse an' change, an' tries to apologize to her family, maybe we can persuade the law enforcement community to call off the investigation."
"I like it, but we should take it to Bulletproof first," Highway said. The rest nodded and broke, and went to Bulletproof's office.
When they were allowed to enter, the C.O.P.S. looked at their leader solemnly. Barricade started, "I think Bowzer's showing signs of wanting to improve. He knows what he did was wrong, but perhaps he doesn't realize how much he frightened Valerie. I think maybe it's time for an intervention, to show him how she ought to be treated."
"That might work with Bowzer," Bulletproof agreed. "But I don't know how Irons will react to it. Even if you recorded it on tape, it might do little to convince him. Remember, Bowzer's still being investigated for rape charges, and Irons has said he couldn't contact Valerie." He looked at his phone and picked it up. "I'll see if he's been able to speak to her. You go to Bowzer and talk to him."
The C.O.P.S. did, looking just as solemn with their arms folded. Although Bowzer couldn't really tell what it was for, he knew he had been thinking about Valerie since being suspended. He still couldn't stop. So he said, "Look, I understand now that what I did with Valerie was wrong. But I think only she realizes how I'd been longing to see her. And you can tell I've been longing right now, can't you?"
"Longing for her?" Barricade asked. "Bowzer, what you did was unforgivable. Valerie told me what you did as soon as she came to my house. I was so angry, I couldn't even talk about my vacation much. Then, two days later, Bulletproof called me up, and I asked if what Valerie told me was true. Do you have any idea how shocked I was when he told me yes. Mind you, I had a nice time away, but I couldn't believe I had to come to work at the headquarters the very next day, to fill your shoes! And I don't even have a dog!" He addressed the others. "I know that last part's irrelevant, but still!"
Mace went next. "I may be the hot-headed one of the group," he said, "but I wouldn't dream of doin' to any woman what you did to Valerie. If I call my girl, an' she forgets to call me, I'll just call her right back, not rant an' cry at her. An' if I haven't seen her in awhile, again, I'll call an' ask if she wants to do somethin'. What you did to Valerie that night, I never even did with Nightshade. When I was still in love with her, I wasn't possessive or controllin'. I never acted like I owned Nightshade, and I don't act like I own Valerie. Relationships don't work on ownership."
"Said the man who insisted his purple bouquet belonged in Valerie's bedroom," Barricade and Sundown wanted to say.
"And that's exactly what it looked and sounded like when Bulletproof told us of the incident," Highway said. "Like you were trying to own her, or at least possess her. You actually told Bulletproof that you banged on her door that Saturday night when Sundown and I took her out, and you went crazy when you told that she was out with us? Are you nuts? You knew there was competition among the four of us when you decided to join in. Why the hell did you if you knew you couldn't handle it?"
"I thought I could," Bowzer answered, "and I also never anticipated that you guys would be preoccupying yourselves with her while I got the leftovers. You guys weren't being fair to me. She wasn't being fair to me! I never tried to be controlling, I was only trying to make her see that she should be paying a little more attention to me."
"Is that so?" Barricade asked. "Well, some of the more sensitive and aware men would call that control and possessiveness. Valerie told me that you were trying to scare her into being with you more. That's not a good idea, Bowzer. That is being controlling indeed. You should be ashamed at what you did. Really ashamed."
"I am!" Bowzer admitted. "And I was also sorry about what I did. Didn't you hear me calling up Valerie's mom at her say-so, begging for another chance?"
"I'm afraid we were all out," Highway replied. "But we heard from Hardtop about how you angrily refused his and Mainframe's support, curtly saying that you don't want to talk about it. We couldn't tell if you were in tremendous pain for your losses, or just taking it out on them."
"I was in tremendous pain!" Bowzer answered. "I was certainly in no damn mood to talk about it then. And when I wanted to, none of you would talk to me!"
He sighed and continued, "Look, I have a lot or regret for what I did that night. It cost me Valerie yet again. Damn, but I can't take living without her, guys. I wish there was something I could do to get her back again." He looked at the group before him, and noticed Sundown was about to say something. So he said, "Look, I know all that stuff about looking into her eyes, and telling her how much I mean to her. I have done that before, when I thought she cared."
"What I was goin' to say," Sundown interjected, "an' pardon me fer bringin' up the 'back where I come from' thing again, but a gentleman certainly don't treat a lady the way you treated Valerie. If that ain't as bad as the way Tom Boston treated her, it's pretty damned close. Not even a despairin' lovesick fool would go as far as to kidnap his lady, take her to his place, and make her have sex 'cause he's been longin' fer it. If you were trapped in the desert, you wouldn't eat the sand an' dust, reckonin' it was food an' water."
Bowzer just nodded, knowing Sundown was indeed right.
"Now, when you can get time," Barricade said, "I think maybe you should send her an e-mail, inviting Valerie to your house maybe tomorrow night. I think you're serving the morning and afternoon shift that day." Bowzer just nodded again. "So, invite her over, tell her that her mother and sisters are also invited. This can be the perfect way of telling them you're sorry."
Meanwhile, Mainframe had spotted three robberies on her computer screen. After a quick analysis, she suddenly announced, "You may have to put that off for awhile. According to this reading, there are robberies in progress at three banks downtown. All are being committed by small groups of high school students, and they're walking around like zombies."
"Not more hypnotic tapes!" Mace groaned. "Where's it coming from? What's the original school?"
"Lilybrook High School, on Court Island," Mainframe declared.
"I don't know how they could walk all that way," Barricade said, and turned to his group. "Okay, so Mace, Bowzer and I will curb the robberies. Sundown, Highway, you go down to Lilybrook and find out what's causing the hypnosis." They all left the headquarters without a word.
In her office, Valerie was furiously working on her radio script, while waiting for her next assignment. She kept staring at her phone, hoping that one of the C.O.P.S. would call and ask her out on a last-minute date. She was disappointed that none of her beaux called to arrange something the night before. She was dreading this presentation meeting, and seeing Kim and the others who'd harassed her.
"Okay, starting Monday, I'm going to ask the bosses for another assignment as soon as I'm finished the old one," she said to herself. "I'm starting to feel like one of those dysfunctional workers."
Several moments later, her phone rang. She'd been mentally practicing what to say to the C.O.P.S.: "I'd love to go out tonight, but I'll have to check with Mr. Sussex about this evening's presentation meeting. Hopefully, I won't have to go." But when she answered, she saw Big Boss on the screen.
"Valerie, pookiekins," he said. "How lovely to see yer lovely face."
"All right, I'm going to have to ask Teresa to ignore your calls to me, Big Boss!" she sighed. "What do you want?"
"Why else would I call?" he asked. "I just wanted to see if yer all freed up tomorrow night. I'll treat ya to dinner, then we'll go dancin' at an exclusive club. Whaddya say, baby?"
"Oh, Big Boss, you've been so good to avoid calling me these past three weeks," she said. "Why start again now?"
"Well, between all my nefarious schemin' and plannin', an' yer work schedule, I've finally found myself some time to take you out, see?"
Valerie started to get extremely frustrated. "No!" she bellowed. "No, no and no! Listen to me very carefully. I don't love you, and I'm not interested in you. I never have and I never will."
"Aw, c'mon," Big Boss began, but then she saw Dr. Badvibes and Buttons McBoomBoom in the background. She started to get infuriated now.
"Valerie, dearie!" Dr. Badvibes called. "Do you like romantic science fiction movies? I'll take you to the theater tomorrow night at eight o'clock. They're showing Love Life on Venus."
"Fuck you, Badvibes!" Buttons remarked. "Hey, Valerie, why don't you pop over to my place fer a relaxin' night in? I've got a ton of gangster flicks fer you to choose from."
"Forget it, you two!" Valerie spat. "I do not want to be seen in public or private with either of you! And I don't want to be seen with you either, Big Boss!"
Suddenly, Mr. Lancer knocked on her door and said, "Valerie, Mr. Sussex would like to see you and Cindy in his office now. He received her memo about the Shaken Baby Syndrome commercial."
"Thank you, sir," Valerie said, then returned to the crooks. "Look, I have some free time on Sunday afternoon. I want to be there at your headquarters. We need to have a long, emotional talk!" She hung up and rushed out of her office.
Mr. Sussex's door was open, and she saw Cindy sitting across from him, along with another empty seat. "You wanted to see me, sir?"
"Just the person I want to talk to most," he said. "I have here another disturbing memo, that Cindy wrote about the commercial for Children's Hospital. Can you confirm this all to be true? Tell me what happened in your own words."
"Gosh, Mr. Sussex, what is there to tell?" Valerie asked. "When I tried to stop Kim from yelling at Jeremy the first time, she said it was because she couldn't find any discipline tips while researching the syndrome on the Internet. So she decided that what she did with her kids while they were growing up, she'll do on him. This was after she forced him to sit on the floor. Don't get me started on Joe. I may sound sarcastic here, but I'm thinking his early remark about shutting Jeremy up was the nicest thing he ever said. Donna and Michael criticized my parenting when we did the scenes at home, as usual, as did Linda this morning at Teresa's desk. Donna had the nerve to tell me that I should've spanked Jeremy when Joe did it! That was the worst!"
"Yes, and I'm equally displeased with Michael and Linda's comments," Mr. Sussex said firmly. He looked directly at Cindy. "Under normal circumstances, Cindy, I would've disciplined you for taking over Kim's duties at the studio, and reassigning everyone when it was clearly her project. But I think this was the bravest thing you could do, in order to get that part completed. You figured out a way to make Jeremy happy, which is exactly what Dr. Taylor will be expecting with the type of concept you had. An infirm lad living life happily, despite the odds that were against him. I would hate to see him looking unhappy on moving film because he was spanked and mistreated off camera. Speaking of which, I'll ask the editing department if this thing is completed. I want to preview it."
He left the women alone in the office, down to the editing room. Minutes later, he returned and said, "They'll try to have it ready before lunch."
Valerie thought back to the day Barricade and Jeremy left for Washington D.C. She said, "Mr. Sussex, didn't you say about three weeks ago that you would fire Kim and Linda and anyone else if you learned about them harassing me again?"
"I'd thought about it, and I wanted to," Mr. Sussex said, "but Mr. Lancer kept persuading me to keep them around, especially Kim. But I don't think I can. While I can't deny that they've been producing some great work here, I cannot allow these antics to continue. Valerie, I don't want you to have a meltdown so bad, that we have to give you paid leave of absence at a time when we'll be needing you."
"Valerie, we rarely see you in the coffee room or the dining hall," Cindy added. "If you don't stay in your office for lunch, you want to go out. You keep working during most breaks, and you shouldn't have to. I know it's to avoid your instigators."
"I'll show this to Mr. Lancer, and we'll have to think of a drastic solution for this mess," Mr. Sussex said. "It's a good thing you didn't cry so much, if ever, or this would've turned into the Breath For Life fiasco. After Lancer sees this, I'll make a copy for the incident files, and fax this original to Dr. Taylor. I'm sure he'll be very interested in what all happened during production."
"One last thing, Mr. Sussex," Valerie said. "I know I'll be expected to come, but am I exempt from the presentation meeting for the commercial?"
He shook his head rapidly. "Oh, of course not, Valerie. I know you and Jeremy don't want to face your harassers, but as the main stars of the commercial, we need you at the hospital as guests of honor for this thing. Can you be there at seven-thirty?"
"Sure thing," she said. Mr. Sussex dismissed both Valerie and Cindy afterwards.
Later, when he went down to editing, he received the finished product on DVD. He watched it himself, taken in by the drama of Valerie telling her story, and the disturbing scenes backing it up. But he was looking out for Jeremy's reaction at the end. There he was, coming onto the camera view looking natural, no painful crying and screaming, no tears that Mr. Sussex noticed. He was satisfied, but he still couldn't let this project group get away with torture.
At the hospital that evening, Mr. Sussex, Dr. Taylor and Valerie were privately discussing Cindy's memo. They were all in the meeting hall, standing beside a TV and DVD player. The doctor was disgusted at what he'd found out about the production process, and asked Valerie about it.
"Unbelievable, Ms. Boston, that the project manager would use the same commando-style methods on Jeremy, as if he were an able-bodied person at boot camp," he said. "That is completely wrong. What would possess her to do that?"
"She claimed she couldn't find any tips on how to discipline an SBS-ridden child," Valerie said. "She said she used those same methods on her sons, and possibly worse, when they misbehaved."
"Well, I can safely assume that she's never shaken any of her children," he said. "And neither have any of the other instigators. But I find even those methods questionable. Ms. Masterson is only fooling herself if she thinks she can treat a mentally challenged child like your son that way."
"Some of the other staff actually support these views," Valerie said. "One of them even suggested that this type of discipline would be healthy for Jeremy, so he can be like normal, able-bodied children."
"That theory is a joke, Ms. Boston. I take it most of these people don't know Jeremy all that well, or know what it's like to raise a child of Shaken Baby Syndrome."
"I haven't brought this up with Kim or the others yet," Mr. Sussex said. "I'm planning a private meeting at the agency for tomorrow afternoon, and I'd like you and Valerie to be there. But I won't tell the others until after we're finished with this. So don't say anything to them, okay?" Dr. Taylor and Valerie nodded promises.
Soon, the members of the project group arrived, first Cindy, then all the others came together. Kim had the DVD of the commercial. She started off the presentation by saying, "It's an honor to be meeting with you tonight, and I am pleased to show this important piece that will hopefully help spread the word about Shaken Baby Syndrome, and how it can be prevented."
You stupid, clueless hypocrite, Valerie thought.
"When making a commercial to help spread awareness," Kim continued, "we believe that the best method in doing so is to show the consequences of causing it to begin with. You and Mr. Sussex asked us to feature our own Valerie Boston, and her son, inspired by her television interview. I didn't see the whole thing, but I did listen to Valerie talking about her past, her whirlwind marriage, and her husband repeatedly shaking young Jeremy. I thought of showing dramatic scenes of all that in between her talking about it."
Which was my idea to begin with, you little liar! Valerie thought.
"I believe the 'scaring straight' factors of this shock and melodrama will make parents and caregivers who see this think twice before shaking any child," Kim concluded. "and now, the commercial."
She slid the disc in the player and activated it. Immediately, Dr. Taylor was taken by Valerie somber moodiness as she spoke. The black and white dramatizations of the shaking, the abuse; both child and spousal, and the pleas for medical attention, they all left him feeling breathless. But he was pleased to see the ending, with Jeremy feeling great and happy, and the cards: Sadly, up to 30 of kids aren't as lucky as the boy. 25 to 30 percent of Shaken Baby Syndrome children don't live to their third birthday. Never shake a baby. Never. Still, when it was over, he looked as if he'd forgotten his speech.
"I don't know what to say," he confessed. "The idea was to make people aware at what shaking can do to a child, and you seem to have delivered. I was feeling horrible for Valerie, her feelings of helplessness and despair, and the way she talked about the effects on her son, I feel she was just pounding it all into my head. And you gave three of the biggest long-term consequences for SBS children who survive infancy."
"All based on my own experience," Valerie said.
"Well, Ms. Masterson, I must say you and your team did a good job with this one. I'll have your company make copies of this commercial, and deliver it to all the TV stations in this city."
Mr. Sussex looked normal at the group celebration, which Cindy and Valerie didn't partake in. None of them would forget the treatment Cindy wrote about. He approached the four others and told them, "Despite your good work in this project, I would like to see all six of you workers in the conference room tomorrow afternoon at one o'clock." He turned to Valerie. "Valerie, you think maybe you can arrange someone to look after Jeremy tomorrow?"
"Are you sure it has to be tomorrow?" she said. "Can't it be first thing Monday? When I picked Jeremy up from Karen's on Thursday, she said something about going to New Jersey to decorate a woman's apartment that day."
"I'm sure you can make arrangements." Mr. Sussex turned to the group again. "And one of you should call Linda Fortense when you get home. Tell her she's invited, too."
They didn't really know what he was talking about, but Kim volunteered, "I'll do it."
When they left the hospital, Cindy approached Valerie and said, "I have an idea. You bring Jeremy over to my house tomorrow, and we can leave Jeremy with Blackbelt and the boys. I think he's taking them to the Boys and Girls Club that afternoon for leisure karate, so we can have Jeremy watch them, and perhaps Blackbelt can keep an eye on him."
"That's a deal," Valerie grinned.
Meanwhile, at Nightshade's apartment, she had spent the whole evening trying to call Mace. He'd hung up once while her dinner was cooking, and she'd kept getting his answering machine since. This seventh time was no different. She sounded increasingly frustrated as she said during the message, "Damn right I'll leave a message at the beep!"
Then at the tone, "Mace! Mace, it's Nightshade! Listen, I know you're still at home, and you can't possibly be with that bitch, so will you please pick up and talk to me!"
Finally, Mace's image appeared on her phone screen. He looked reluctant to talk, and barked, "Dammit, Nightshade, whaddya want?"
"Mace!" she pleaded. "Mace, please! That isn't any way to talk to a woman you once fell in love with! The same woman whom you pledged your soul and life to. The same woman who gave up her former career only for you. All the community service I've been working for that time I was in jail for attempted robbery, that has been my work since giving up crime!"
"With a few odd jobs on the side, no doubt," he said bluntly.
She was close to crying. "Mace, what's wrong with you? Why are you being so stubborn and hot-headed? Don't you care about us anymore? Just stop and think about what you're throwing away!"
"I'm throwin' away a fluke of a romance that I should've known was never meant to be! An' I'm ready to put a restrainin' order on ya if ya don't quit callin'! Maybe I should come over there. We need to talk, face to face! Maybe then, you'll get it." His image then disappeared.
Nightshade didn't bother to change clothes or do her makeup. She just sat on her sofa and told herself, "Mace is just submitting to some untrue rumors about you, woman. You've only gone back to the Big Boss over obligations to keep the ties strong… ooh, I should really go back one of these days and tell that asshole off!"
She was staring at the clock. With every second that passed, her nervousness increased. She thought of Valerie again. She refused to speak to herself about her. She went to her bedroom for the picture of Mace and Valerie on her dresser drawer. Her scared reaction to being photographed while he looked somewhat oblivious. Teresa Laird never told her much about this woman when she visited her apartment. Perhaps Mace could tell more about her. "Just what would a tough guy like Mace see in this overgrown little girl?" she wondered aloud.
She went to the kitchen for some water. By the time she drank her third glass, she heard her doorbell buzz. She went to the door and stared at it without looking through her peephole, thinking it was her expected guest. "Mace? Mace, is it you?"
He answered bluntly again. "It's me, Nightshade, open up."
She opened up and brought him inside, looking desperate. "Mace, I can't live like this anymore," she said. "I don't know what it is you're getting from the Empire City police force, but I can assure you it's all false."
"Really?" he wondered. "Then what were all those reports from my colleagues 'bout you several months ago, takin' guys out an' takin' their money. Not only didja hurt me, but do ya know what that's called!"
"Get real, Mace! I'm an ex-jewel thief, not an ex-prostitute. And I was certainly never an escort. I was only taking advice from my sister, Cathleen – try to date other men, she said. I told her how you were treating me like shit with your coldness and distance. And I made sure the Big Boss knew about this, too. He said that if I ever needed a friend – which I did – I could always come to him. I still don't know how all this started." Her tears began to show, falling alongside her cheek, but he didn't wipe them away. "And you know how I am with men paying for things. All the rich girls expect it from them. But there were some who wouldn't part with their cash for an expensive dinner, so I took matters into my own hands, and 'borrowed' their credit cards. Jesus, what is it with men and exaggerating the truth?"
"An' the string of jewel thefts that occurred those first two weeks in May!" Mace reminded her. He was telling her as this crime came back into his memory. "Bulletproof showed me videotape of a figure that looked very much like you in the darkness. Jumpin' through the beams so ya wouldn't get nailed, spray-paintin' the camera lenses, disablin' the rest of the security system." He grabbed her shoulders and glared into her eyes so deep, he thought he'd burn them. "Nightshade, when you asked me to marry ya at that outdoor restaurant, I told you only on the condition that you leave Big Boss an' go straight!"
"You showed me that tape while we were arguing that one time!" Nightshade cried. "That perp was wearing a ski mask that covered everything but the eyes. That could've been anyone! And I hadn't been going back to the Big Boss since we'd gotten engaged, at least not for criminal purposes. I'm telling you, some of the more job-obsessed members of C.O.P.S. are poisoning your mind with fabricated horse shit!"
She forced his hands off her shoulders and backed away. "Just because I'm still slender enough to fit into a catsuit, it doesn't mean that I'm still cat-burglaring. Maybe you'd come back to me if I gained ten pounds, would that be it?"
"Well, if you didn't do it for the Big Boss, you obviously did it to satisfy yer own greed," Mace accused. "Greed an' materialism, two things 'bout women that turn me off the most. I'm almost scared to have children with ya, Nightshade, I'm wonderin' how you'll bring 'em up. At least Valerie ain't like that."
"Valerie!" Nightshade repeated. "That name again! Listen, Mace, the woman is nothing but a cop-chasing slut, and you know it! You may not care to hear this, but I met her secretary in my quest to find out about her. If this love was as real as you two claim, she'd be focused only on you, not dating other members of your team! And I'm starting to hear rumors from people who know her, in various places where I shop, no less! They say she uses her son's mental problems as an excuse to let him act out! And you believe in forceful physical discipline, don't you? So what the fuck do you SEE in this woman!"
"You have it all wrong, girlie-pie!" he blurted. "Jeremy's not as spoiled as people make him out to be! Rarely do I hear him ask for stuff 'cause he wants it. I'll bet he's hardly aware of what's around him in a store even. Yeah, he has outbursts, an' has trouble holdin' still at times, and he don't eat much, but that's the Shaken Baby Syndrome talkin'. An' even I can understand that. An' ya know how else I know Valerie doesn't spoil Jeremy? She herself don't like it when men spend so much money on her every date."
"Oh, bullshit!" Nightshade spat. "You just love her because she has blonder hair, bigger tits and longer legs than I do! And because she has a kid of her own that you just love to pieces, don't you?"
"I love Valerie because she's more down-to-earth an' self-disciplined than you are!" Mace bellowed clearly. "You know, my parents weren't very happy when I brought you home to meet them. They said I can do better than you, a former jewel thief, an' they're right!"
"That's not true!" she cried. "I won't believe that! Mace, think about it for a minute! If you introduced your parents to Valerie, they'd immediately disapprove once they see what a weak and lazy mother she is! Then when she's forced to choose someone else, you'll have no choice but to come back to me, and we can continue the romance we once had!" She threw herself to her knees, and clung to his calf, screaming in despair. "Mace, please! This is all that I want!"
"Forget it, Nightshade!" he ordered. "I don't want this romance anymore! Don't bother callin' me or comin' over to my place! Lose my number!" He freed his leg from her grasp and went to the door. "I should've known all along, that a romance between cop an' crook was never meant to be. I'm stayin' with Valerie fer as long as she still wants me. An' if she chooses one of my colleagues, I can easily find another single mother to love, an' be a father to her kids."
"Mace!" she called. "Mace, where are you going?"
"Back to C.O.P.S. headquarters," he answered. "Maybe I'll serve a voluntary shift. The way I see it now, maybe my duty time can be more enjoyable than my off-duty time. Goodbye forever!" Then he walked out, slamming the door behind him.
Nightshade just stood there staring at the door, feeling the emptiness and silence around her. She didn't even hear the phone ring. It took at least two hours for her to realize that he wasn't coming back. When she did, she went to her sofa, cried and beat her frustrations upon it for most of the night.
Valerie and Jeremy had lunch at the Raines house the next day. At twelve-thirty, they kissed their boys goodbye and left for their workplace.
In the conference room, they met Mr. Lancer, Mr. Sussex and Dr. Taylor. Mr. Lancer was musing over a copy of Cindy's memo. Mr. Sussex directed them to two empty chairs next to the client. Across from them, they saw five empty chairs, for the instigators, Valerie knew. She and Cindy turned to client, interested that he'd show up.
"Hello, Dr. Taylor," Cindy said. "Quite fancy to see you at this meeting. Usually, clients don't usually show up at meetings to discipline staff."
"Cindy, remember what this meeting is about," Mr. Sussex reminded her. "Dr. Taylor said he was appalled by your memo, so after you all left, I invited him here to offer his opinions."
While waiting, Dr. Taylor talked to Valerie about Jeremy. "Who takes care of your son while you're here at work?"
"My sister, Karen, at current," she answered. "She's been a stay-at-home mom for some years now. When we first came to Empire City, the school year was almost over, and I hadn't registered him in a school yet. I also hadn't moved into a home of my own, so we lived with my other sister, Rhonda, and her family. But she and her husband both work, so I had to depend on my mother. Then almost a month later, we found a place and moved into Karen's neighborhood – at her insistence – so I've been leaving him with her all summer. Now with school in session, the bus drops him off at her place, and Karen looks after him until I come to pick him up." Dr. Taylor nodded, approving of this arrangement.
At around ten after one, they saw Donna, Linda, Michael, Kim and Joe come in, all looking unhappy. All five people on the opposite end of the table glared at them.
"You understand why you're here, don't you?" Mr. Sussex asked.
"We're aware this concerns the latest incident with Valerie, sir," Kim said. "But I must say that you're directing your discipline at the wrong people."
"Really?" Mr. Sussex asked. "Whom should Mr. Lancer and I be talking to, then?"
"You really need to talk to Valerie, and anyone else who is defending her," Linda answered, "including Cindy Raines over there, and Elise O'Malley. We all know what this meeting's about." She pointed at herself and her group. "See, the five of us are responsible, caring parents who would fight for our children's safety, instill respect into them, and guide them to adulthood so they become respectable members of society, all through strict discipline and rules, and setting up serious consequences for negative actions."
"And you're saying this isn't true of Valerie?" Mr. Lancer said.
"Exactly!" Linda said. "I know of no responsible parent who would use their child's mental condition – cerebral palsy, ADD, ADHD, autism, Down's Syndrome, bi-polar – to justify kind responses to bad behavior. Schoolteachers and authority figures would see all this as excuses."
"And this includes Shaken Baby Syndrome?" Mr. Lancer wondered.
"Absolutely."
"Any stranger on the street would look at the way Jeremy behaves," Kim added, "and wonder why mothers like Valerie just stand there and let it happen." She focused on Valerie. "Don't people stare at you, and mentally criticize you?"
"Kim, Linda, I just explain that he has lifetime effects of Shaken Baby Syndrome, and his behavior can't be helped," Valerie said. "It can't, especially when Jeremy starts screaming or babbling nonsensically in public – and he does do that sometimes. Of course, that's when people don't start giving me unsolicited advice. If they do, I'll just scream at them that it's none of their damn business."
"Excuse me, Valerie," Joe interrupted, "but when you bring your child into a professional environment like this, and let him act out like he does, bouncing all over everything and constantly interrupting, then you make it our business. And that's when we have to say something! And do something if you won't!"
"Need I remind you, Joe, that the purpose of the commercial was to help spread awareness about Shaken Baby Syndrome and its effects!" Cindy said. "It's not spreading awareness if you're yelling and spanking Jeremy for behavior you know is triggered by the syndrome. That's actually defeating the purpose!"
"We stand by our actions, doctor, and sirs," Kim said. "When we were at the studio, filming Valerie by herself as she was telling her tale of woe, Jeremy was constantly interrupting through bouncing all over the place, and screaming so loud, they could hear in the damn newsroom. He was also moving his head about, a constant distraction. On another take, when Joe instructed him to go Valerie, Jeremy's response was to let out an unexpected scream and hop all over the place like a rabbit. I thought he was going to fall over and hurt himself. He had to be disciplined somehow.
"I'm not going to get into my personal background here, but the military was a strong influence in my life, especially in the area of discipline. As a single parent, I knew I had to enforce this kind of lifestyle in order for my children to grow up properly. I give them rules and a strict routine that must be followed daily. My kids know not to give me any attitude, or else I will get in their faces to yell, and spank them if needs be. I have a twenty-four-year-old son who is now in college, and lives independently in another state. He boasts to his friends about what a tough broad I was, and he knows that if he disagrees with me about anything, I will get into his face. He respects me enough not to go beyond certain limits. My twenty-year-old son has manic depression and a problem with marijuana smoking. I've had no problems with him except for this. When he crossed the line for stealing, I had to call the police to put him in jail, though it broke my heart. He is now getting the help he needs. When my sons were sixteen and twelve, respectively, I spanked them with a belt for tickling their sister until she cried.
My Katrina – she's the one who said Valerie shouldn't have had her son – she's sixteen, and already a senior in high school. She's involved in the school's ROTC program and is doing exceptionally. As well, she's been taking college courses since her sophomore year. She also does volunteer work for different charities. She's able to manage her money–"
"We've heard enough, Kim!" Mr. Lancer interrupted. "Your children know right from wrong, so we can assume you've never shaken any of them. Congratulations! Obviously, you don't know what it's like to raise a SBS-ridden child." He looked at the rest of the group. "Have any of you or your spouses ever shaken your children even once?"
They all shook their heads, and Donna said, "We wouldn't dream of it. There have been times when we've all fantasized, but we know the difference between right and wrong. Some of us struggle to get that through to our kids day after day."
"Then you don't know what it's like to be me!" Valerie retorted. "I challenge you all to step into my shoes for a week, and take care of Jeremy. For God's sake, I have to pick out his clothes the night before, so I can help him get dressed in the morning. I guarantee that you'd all tone down your high-and-mighty discipline drives after that experience!"
"Why would I, Valerie?" Michael asked. "If I had Jeremy in my home, I would definitely treat him like I do my teenage girls – who, by the way, are little devils. In the first place, it wouldn't be fair to them if my wife and I treated him differently because of his disabilities. And to treat him like other children would show society that we weren't making excuses for any bad behavior. You know this as well as I do, Valerie! So yes, Jeremy would be smacked around if he didn't do what he was told. He would be yelled at to sit still, stay quiet and behave like a proper young man. And he would get his ass beaten if he didn't bring home a good report card."
"You know what, Michael?" Cindy retorted. "The only difference between you and Valerie's ex-husband is you don't shake your children."
Dr. Taylor retrieved a sheet of paper, poised to read. "Let me remind you all again of the symptoms of Shaken Baby Syndrome survivors: partial or complete blindness, hearing loss, seizures, developmental delays, impaired intellect, speech or learning disabilities, memory or attention problems, paralysis which leave some in a coma, severe mental retardation! Severe mental retardation, ladies and gentlemen. You don't take a child of this condition, spank him or whip him with a belt, and then expect him to learn a lesson. It doesn't do anything to change a child's behavior; it only worsens it when he retaliates. I distinctly heard Ms. Boston's mother go over this in the interview with Whitney Morgan. As a medical professional, I couldn't have said it any better."
"Dr. Taylor, I must respectfully disagree with you," Donna interjected. "First of all, I think that's a ludicrous theory designed only to heat up the spanking debate. We as parents are frustrated enough with the anti-spanking laws on able-bodied children. For the so-called 'experts' to tell us not to spank disabled children like Jeremy, that just makes parenting even harder."
Mr. Sussex was getting angrier. "Are you questioning Dr. Taylor's authority, Donna?" he asked harshly. "Are you saying that he doesn't know his job?"
"Well, I don't think parents should submit to doctors who think this way," she said. "I agree that it's a tough decision to make, but that should be left up to the parents. And I definitely would spank Jeremy if he were my son." Kim, Michael, Joe and Linda all cheered and applauded.
Cindy and Mr. Lancer looked at Valerie. That cheering session just made her angrier. When it was quiet, she just said, "You people are really pissing me off today."
"I stand by what I said," Dr. Taylor replied. He looked at Kim and said, "Ms. Masterson, you said you had trouble looking for proper discipline techniques on Shaken Baby Syndrome Internet sites when researching, right? Well, the reason why they don't mention discipline is because a shaking survivor's brain does not respond well to forceful consequences. Their only response is to cry and scream, pound on something, and some even beat their heads on surfaces. They usually don't have the strength to hit or bite back. You can drag a misbehaving shaking survivor to his room, and he still won't quiet down. You can put him in a time-out corner, and he won't stay there for more than five seconds. In more severe cases like Jeremy, the brain is too damaged for him to even learn right from wrong."
"That is a crock!" Linda exclaimed. "All right, then what would you suggest for a child like Valerie's son? Because even kids like him need to be disciplined in some way!"
"I'm no psychologist," Dr. Taylor answered, "but any professional would suggest that you get down to the child's level, make sure you establish eye contact, and tell him rationally that what he did was wrong, and that he should not be doing it. Use 'big people' words that he will understand, depending on mentality level. I know this may seem like a joke to you all, but this technique works." He turned to Valerie. "Ms. Boston, does this work when Jeremy misbehaves?"
"Absolutely," Valerie replied. "But he doesn't misbehave too terribly much if ever. Usually, when he's told 'no junk food before dinner' or 'no TV today,' he won't put up a fuss. He'll just do something else, like read a book or, when he's at Karen's house, sit with her on the computer and help her pick out patterns for her decorating business. She says this helps him learn his colors. Or else they'll play computer games, or she'll take him on an outing."
"That's another thing," Dr. Taylor said. "You must keep a constant eye on survivor children when they're active. They're very prone to accidents. And keep them busy; because survivor children tend to act out more when they're bored. You may not want to spend twenty-four-seven with the child, but they require that kind of care. You must find a reliable caretaker if you desire some 'me time.'"
Donna was acting frustrated, so when it was her turn to speak, she said, "Getting back to behavior, I just want to say that this is another thing I don't like about Valerie." She glared directly at her. "Valerie, you claim that Jeremy is this perfect angel who doesn't put up a fuss when he hears 'no.' But that has to be the biggest lie and exaggeration I ever heard. It's obviously another way to justify your anti-spanking views. If he's as perfect as you say, then why was he acting up when we first met Dr. Taylor?"
"That was part of the syndrome, Donna!" Valerie retorted. "You must not have listened to Dr. Taylor that morning! Realistically, Jeremy is sweet and non-violent. He doesn't have any strength to fight back or talk back. When Tom was beating him over some stupid thing, he was too weak to hit or kick him. The only thing he'd do is cry and scream for help. I always had to step in to stop it. How dare you vilify my son like that!"
"Still, I'm constantly screaming at my kids about school and chores, and coming home on time," Donna complained. "Judging by the way Jeremy acted, and what I heard from Joe and Kim, he could make them look like goddamn saints!"
"And it doesn't help that you and Elise O'Malley are constantly defending those two," Joe added to Cindy. "I noticed that Teresa is starting to do the same, as well as the other non-parents in the company. I guarantee that if any one of them had children, they'd suddenly change their minds about Valerie, and start siding against you."
"Mr. Sussex and I never heard a word about Valerie's parenting from the childless among the staff," Mr. Lancer said.
"I only heard Teresa say nice things about Jeremy," Mr. Sussex said. "The day I had Michael, Joe and Donna in my office after the first incident, she praised Valerie because Jeremy was happy and well-adjusted."
Mr. Lancer addressed the group of instigators. "Okay, we've heard what Donna would change about Valerie's child-raising. What about the rest of you? I'm curious to hear your thoughts."
"I don't like that Valerie doesn't give Jeremy enough chores," Kim said. "How old is he now, Valerie?"
"He just turned eleven almost a month ago," Valerie said.
"Well, I find it distressing that at age eleven, he only empties the dryer and picks up from the floor – one at a time, I imagine," Kim replied. "Getting back to my kids, they've been doing laundry from the age of eight – wash, dry, fold, put away – Katrina included. She also puts out the trash every week for pickup, without being told. She likes to keep the house clean, and when she has friends over, she doesn't let them mess it up. But I tend to share the workload with her; some of our best talks have been while cooking, cleaning the kitchen or doing dishes. I refuse to believe that Jeremy can't even reach to open a washing machine, and that Valerie won't even let him vacuum or set the table. He can't possibly be that short and klutzy."
"Jeremy is only thirty inches tall, maybe thirty-three," Valerie said. "The standard washing machine is thirty-six inches at lid height, correct?" Both her bosses nodded. "Add the fact that he has short arms, and I can tell you he can't get the lid open. And don't get me started on the table-setting story. Let's just say it was a disaster that led to more physical abuse. And don't tell me that Tom was a responsible parent. He was the one that caused Jeremy to be screwed up in the first place. He never wanted a child from the get-go; I can guarantee he'd put your precious little girl through hell."
"Well, the least you can do is have him do the dishes. Get a stepping stool, install back and side guards so he won't fall over, and he'll be good to work."
Now Valerie was sarcastic. "Oh yeah, so he can drop dishes into the sink, and hit his head on the counter when he leans forward. Good idea!"
"All right, that's enough arguing," Mr. Lancer said, then turned to Cindy. "Cindy, if you were me, how would you solve this problem?"
"Fire that whole crew, especially Kim," Cindy replied. "I know that she has been a thorn in Valerie's backside ever since they first met. I understand that she's a hard-working, exceptional project manager, but she obviously relishes in her military background far too much. Maybe this will teach her that military procedures are not parenting skills."
"I agree," Valerie said. "Mr. Sussex, it was especially a big mistake to put Donna, Michael and Joe on this assignment. I know this was to make them see how wrong they were for how they treated me before, but if Cindy hadn't been there, this would've turned into a déjà vu of Breath For Life. Her presence and influence kept me from losing it. As for Linda, I think she's becoming a bigger gossip than even Teresa. Just because she lives next door to one of the C.O.P.S I'm dating, it doesn't give her the right to make me miserable!" She glared harshly at Linda. "You had no right to spy on me and Barricade from your window that one time, and you had no right to barge in on us during one of our private moments! And I hate it when you or anyone else gives me unsolicited advice about my parenting!"
"Dammit, Valerie, this is for your own good!" Linda yelled. "Yes, this is unsolicited advice, but you definitely need it!" She turned to her bosses. "Sirs, I don't believe you should fire Valerie. She's obviously done some exceptional work, though I still think the Dempsey thing was a cop-out. But you need to have a private conversation with her. Tell her that a lot of parents here are concerned about the way she is with Jeremy, and there are steps she must take to change. I'm wondering how many clients will want to work with her once they find out the truth.
"Let's suppose that one of our client firms asked her to speak about parenting special needs children. If she said the same things she and Dr. Taylor said here today, that client just might take their business elsewhere unless you agreed to fire her or make her take parenting classes. Would you want to do business with someone who raises a spoiled child? Put her in the class for non-disabled children, so she can learn how to put Jeremy on their level."
"Then again, they could walk away educated and informed, and Valerie would get a thank-you letter for her efforts," Mr. Sussex said. "And even if we did make her take parenting classes, she'd have to take classes specifically designed for physically and mentally disabled children. They would tell her the exact same thing that Dr. Taylor told you."
"Still, it's like I told you before," Linda said. "I think Valerie would gain more respect among her co-workers here if she were stricter and harsher with Jeremy when he makes mistakes."
Mr. Lancer looked at the memo again and shook his head. "I'm very disappointed in this result, people," he said. "Kim, I knew your behavior toward Valerie was unacceptable, but I opted to keep you around because of your work ethic. In the two months you've been with us, you've had only one rejection, when your project team competed with Jack Golding's team over the best magazine ad for the Home Helper's new Multitask Machine, and they chose Jack's ad. We talked about employee treatment when you harassed Valerie in the ladies' room early in your time here, and you promised you'd stop. I see here that this has not happened."
Mr. Sussex glared at Donna, Michael and Joe. "As for you three," he said, "Valerie's right. This would've turned into the Breath For Life fiasco had it not been for Cindy. Maybe it would've been worse than that. That portion of the commercial shot at the studio would've never been completed, we'd have no commercial in time to present, and if you think I'm nasty now, let me say I would've been so pissed then! As you all may realize, we will have to start work on Halloween and Christmas ads pretty soon, and we'll need Valerie here for these projects. The last thing Lancer and I want is for her to have a breakdown. We don't want to have to send her and Jeremy away for rest and relaxation at this crucial time! That's exactly what will happen if this nonsense continues. So I'm going to crack down on this cruel treatment now!"
He slammed his hand on the table and pointed at the instigators. "You're fired! All five of you are fired! Take the rest of the day to clean out your desks, and strip your offices of all personal material."
Donna, Michael, Joe, Kim and Linda all got up and left without a word. They were too angry to speak to Valerie or Cindy. Everyone except Linda had no way to support their families now. And it was all Valerie's fault, though she didn't look regretful. "They all knew what was coming," she said, then sighed. "You know, maybe some of this was my fault, too. If only I hadn't told anyone about Jeremy's conditions–"
"No, you were right to tell us this when you did," Cindy assured her. "Stuff like mental disabilities are vital information to the public, so they can help promote tolerance and awareness. There are just some conservative people who are too short-sighted."
"Valerie, we can't afford to have you take a leave of absence now," Mr. Sussex added. "God, I wish Catherine were here. If it weren't for her illness…"
"And now, we have to look for all new employees," Mr. Lancer said. He shook Dr. Taylor's hand. "Thank you so much for coming, doctor. You've been quite helpful."
"My pleasure, sir," he replied.
The bosses had Valerie and Cindy leave the conference room with them. Mr. Lancer said, "Ladies, you'll come with me to my office now, and help write an ad looking for new employees. I want this copied and sent out to the newspapers by the end of today. I'll send a memo to Teresa about our employee list."
After lunch the next day, she called Sundown, Mace and Highway. Today, she'd tell off Big Boss at his headquarters. She wanted one of her men to look after Jeremy this time, and she was too scared to leave him with Barricade because of Linda.
Sure enough, Mace was available when she called. "Sure, baby, I'll look after Jeremy for ya," he said. "An' as an added bonus, how 'bout I drive ya to Big Boss' buildin' an drop ya off?"
"Could you?" she requested. "It's very important that I take care of him and his crew. I want this harassment to stop as of today."
"Sure, I'm over there right now!"
Valerie went to the bathroom and stared at herself in the mirror. She knew she looked too attractive for the Big Boss, yet she was wearing only skin makeup. Her hair shouldn't be full and bouncy like it usually was. She took the shower nozzle, turned on the hot water, ran it through her hair until it was straight and flat. She even hoped the hair would get split ends. When it was at the desired look, she went to change clothes. She wanted something not all that feminine and sexy, but not too blah either. She found a pair of old gray jeans with a hole in the knee, and a white sweatshirt with apricot-colored roses on it, large enough to fit over her chest. Too bad she hadn't thought of a breast reduction lately.
When she got to the front hall closet, she noticed Mace's car in her driveway. She turned and opened her closet for a pair of old sneakers. She found a blue pair that she last wore in the previous fall's breast cancer walk in Parrish. Just as she put hers and Jeremy's shoes on, and left the house, she saw Mace coming up her walkway.
He was horrified by her "make-under" look. "Sweet Jesus!" he screamed, and rushed to meet her. "Who the hell are ya, an' what have you done with Valerie!"
"I am Valerie, you dolt," she giggled. "I just decided to tone down my hotness, that's all. This is chiefly for Big Boss and his gang. I want to see if this helps him get the hint. Oh, but he's going to shit himself when he sees me. If this works, maybe I'll write to those women's magazines with a new tip on letting a guy know you're not interested in him."
They never said much at first; she was mentally rehearsing what she was going to say to Big Boss. When they got downtown, Mace asked, "Nervous about the Big Boss?"
"About seeing him, no," she answered. "But I want to make sure I say all the right things."
"Yer a woman of speeches, Valerie," he assured her. "How d'ya get all those acceptances when ya market all yer advertisin' projects? You'll be okay."
"Thanks for the boost of confidence." She put down her sun-blocker and studied herself in the mirror. "So what do you planned for Jeremy while I'm with Big Boss?"
"Dunno," Mace replied. "Maybe take him back to my place, sit him down in my livin' room, an' have a man-to-man talk 'bout why you should pick me to marry ya someday. Explain the facts of life to him in a language he'll understand, since his damn father was too much of a little boy to do it himself." He stopped a red light and had Valerie face him. "Let me know that I intend to be a good husband to you, and wanna be a father to him, 'cuz you both deserve it richly."
"Mace, that's so sweet," Valerie replied, and kissed him once softly.
He saw the light was green, and continued driving. "And when yer through with Big Boss an' his crooks, I'll take you back to my place with us, an' cook us all a family dinner. I mean it, Valerie. I actually told off Nightshade two evenin's ago. Told her I was tired of her deceit, an' ordered her to lose my number."
"Speaking of told off," Valerie said, "I managed to get five of my co-workers fired from Lancer and Sussex yesterday afternoon. More bitching about my parenting in a latest project designed to, ironically, support Jeremy's cause. But our stories are too long. Let's save them for when we get to your apartment, shall we?"
"But of course." Soon, they arrived at Big Boss' headquarters, and Valerie gave Mace a quick kiss for good luck. When she stepped out, she said, "I've got my cell here. I'll call you to pick me up when I'm through." She walked furiously into the building.
When the elevator took her to the top floor, she was walking in big gliding steps, like she was a runway model. Her determination and confidence grew as she came closer to his office. There, she opened his door without knocking. She didn't care if Big Boss was sitting naked at his desk.
Sure enough, she'd interrupted a crime scheming meeting among the gang. They all looked shocked to see her.
"Valerie!" Big Boss cried. What the hell are ya doin' here? And what's wit that dowdy look. Yer a mess!"
"Glad you noticed," she replied. "Does this turn you off?"
"You know I like my dames beautiful," he said. "An' you usually are."
"Well, this shitty appearance is just for you and your followers," she told him. "Just as my beauty and sweetness attracted the C.O.P.S., it also attracted you guys by accident. Yes, I said, 'accident.' Maybe I looked too beautiful when I found out one of your cronies was taking my picture."
Buttons looked at her and said, "Baby, I was breathless by yer hair an' yer tits. Big Boss deserved to share the discovery wit me. That's why I took yer picture."
"Figures you'd take interest in a woman because of the size of her rack," Valerie replied. "You'd probably have a threesome with a lioness and a tigress if they showed you any double-D breasts."
"An' I jus adored yer long, sexy legs," Buttons continued. "An' here you are, coverin' 'em up wit long pants. An' dear God, what's wit the sweater? That's such a high neckline fer ya, sweetheart. Ya don't look sexy, ya look like a dumpy housewife."
"Apparently, my looking sexy got me into this mess," Valerie retorted. "If I knew as a teenager that my beauty would be this cursed, I would've begged my father to tell me how ugly I was!"
"Valerie, how dramatically you've changed," Big Boss said. "Yer ruder than you usually are when ya turn me down fer dates, see? An' I hate yer new look. Now I think you should go to my bathroom an' fix yerself up, see? I've got shampoo an' conditioner, hairspray, makeup, perfume, ev'rythin you'll need. An' I think Ms. Demeanor's got a few extra dresses an' shoes fer you to wear. I'll give ya an hour."
"No fucking way, Big Boss!" she spat. "Just tell me what I have to do to make you leave me alone. Begging didn't work, screaming didn't work, threatening to call Bulletproof and his team in didn't work, ignoring you sure as hell didn't work, and neither did rational talking. You remember all this, Big Boss? My last resort was to come here with an ugly appearance and an even uglier attitude."
"Valerie!" he cried. "Pookiekins, can't you see how much I love ya? How some of the crooks I have here love ya? This ain't jus about seein' how many times we'd bang ya 'til ya git tired. It's about showin' the world that a big, bad crime boss is capable of lovin' another human bein'."
"What shit! You criminals wouldn't know love and caring if they ripped your cocks and balls out!"
"Now that was just mean!" Dr. Badvibes protested. "I really think you should take that remark back."
"You want me to take back the truth?" Valerie asked.
Dr. Badvibes could soon guess the why of her nastiness. "It's those stupid C.O.P.S. lovers of yours. They have you so blind to the kind things we're capable of when we're not planning to capture Empire City. You shouldn't have spent so much time with them."
"I don't date the C.O.P.S. just for me and my son, you guys," Valerie insisted. "It's what society expects of me. I may not have my ex-husband to come and take Jeremy anymore, but I can certainly get into trouble if I'm caught dating any of you."
"What?" Rock Crusher asked. "Not even if we dressed all nice fer you, an' showed up a wonderful time in the city?"
"Come on!" she retorted. "If I used that line, they'd never believe me. I'd cause a city-wide scandal. Child Protective Services would take Jeremy from me, and put him in a foster home. And let's not forget what would happen at my work. I'm a successful businesswoman, for crissake. I've been here for nearly four months, and I'm trying to make it in this town. Climbing up the corporate ladder. You really want me to risk everything I've worked so hard for, just for one night of romance with you? You bad guys make us good girls look bad."
"Oh, Valerie," Dr. Badvibes said. He looked like he wanted to cry. "How can you be such a Juliet to the C.O.P.S., and then act like a Rosaline toward us?"
"I've always been a Rosaline to you people!" she snapped. "You just aren't getting it that's all! Besides, maybe it never occurred to you that the C.O.P.S. all love me, they want my hand in romance, and they want to be my son's father. Of course I'm Juliet to them; they're all Romeos to me."
"Valerie, listen to logic an' reason!" Big Boss begged. "Those C.O.P.S. jus want ya fer the sex. That's all it is wit police. Explain why the cop theme is so popular in the porn movie business."
"And what would you know about porn movies?" she asked. "Don't tell me you were operating a porn ring once. That's just fucking sick! I hope you went to jail for a good long time when they busted you!"
"Valerie, don't act like this!" Big Boss begged again.
"Why the hell not!" she spat. "It's pretty goddamn obvious that you're all bad news. You know you're bad news. I know you're bad news. Fuck, the whole fucking United States knows you're bad news! Your influences would kill not only my reputation, but everyone else's as well!"
"Not if we treat ya nice," Turbo said. "Which is what I'll do if you agree to go out with me tomorrow night. I promise I won't look below yer neck."
"Maybe if I wore this sweatshirt," she replied. "But who in his right mind would wear this on a date?" She also imagined a Monday night date with Turbo Tu-Tone. Trapped in a seedy bar with other drunk, rowdy men watching professional wrestling. She immediately shuddered. "No thank you, anyway."
"Valerie, I beg of you to reconsider," Big Boss begged once more. "How I am in my work don't reflect how I am in my personal life. I'll take you out to the best restaurants Empire City has to offer. I'll shower you in gold, diamonds an' pearls. I'll whisk around wit you to the Bahamas, London, Paris, Rome, an' wherever else yer heart wants to go."
"That's another thing," Valerie said. "Spending time with you just may turn me into a spoiled, materialistic brat. I don't like it when men spend so much money on me like that. I don't want the high society lifestyle in the crime business that you have. What do you think my parents would say to that?"
"At least I've done something wit my life, unlike some people I'm related to." He glared directly at Berserko.
"What?" Berserko asked. "I didn't do nothin', Unca Big Boss!"
"So have the men that I've chosen to love!" Valerie retorted. "And I'm going to make something clear to you!"
She addressed the whole room, heaving and huffing in frustration. "I'm going to make something clear to ALL of you! I don't love any of you, especially not you, Big Boss! I never have loved you, and I never will! Every last one of you disgusts me, and I'd sooner commit suicide than go to bed with any of you. Which is exactly what you wanted to do with me all along! Yeah, you don't love me, you love my body. This is exactly why you, Big Boss, had Nightshade kidnap me to bring here to your headquarters! Admit it, Big Boss! Well, I'll tell you right now, you're not going to see my body! And not only does my heart belong on the right side of the law, but I have a son to set a good example for, and I can't do that if I'm loving any of you! Big Boss, I want you and your cronies to stop coming over to my house, stop calling me at work, and when I get my number in the Empire City White Pages, don't bother looking me up! I will feel much better to have the bad guys out of my life!" She started walking to the door.
"Valerie!" Big Boss called. "Valerie, pookiekins, where are you going?"
"To my boyfriend's apartment!" she answered. "He has my son there, and I'm going to see him! And I'm not your pookiekins! I hate that name! I'll take 'baby,' 'sweetie,' 'honey,' 'sugar,' and other names like that, but not silly and childish shit like 'pookiekins!' So long for eternity, you boar's arse!" She rushed out and slammed the door.
When she got near the elevator, she heard another voice call her name. She turned to see Squeaky Kleen.
"Ms. Boston, would it be all right if I took you to wherever it is you want to go?" he asked.
Valerie stared at her purse, poised to retrieve her cell phone. "Well, I told Mace I'd call him when I was through," she said. "But he has my son at his place, and he's probably having 'the talk' with him right now." After a few moments, "All right, you can drive me. I don't want to bother him."
In the lobby, she went to a pay phone and tried to find Mace's address in the White Pages. She found his name and declared, "Ah, here we are. 2500 Campanella Street. Just drive me to the building; I can look for the apartment number on the intercom system." Squeaky nodded and led her out of the building to Big Boss's limousine.
The first thing Monday morning, at her workplace, she found some stapled sheets of paper tacked on her bulletin board. It was a memo from Mr. Sussex. It was dated the day of the firing meeting, directed to all staff. The subject line read EMPLOYEE TREATMENT IN THE WORKPLACE. She sat at her desk and read it over:
It is time for this advertising agency to resolve the problem of employee maltreatment.
For the past several months, since our project manager Valerie Boston got settled in our headquarters, she has been a frequent target of malicious ridicule, gossip and criticism about either her parenting or her personal life. In recent weeks, however, staff members (specifically most parents) have been crueler to her about the former. Staff has been warned, individually and as a group, about criticizing the way Valerie raises her pre-teen son, Jeremy, who has severe mental problems. Young Jeremy Boston, with his Shaken Baby Syndrome, has serious learning difficulties and other dysfunctions resulting from a damaged brain, and as a result, displays very little self-control. I have interacted with Jeremy twice since Valerie began working, and he has displayed outlandish behavior that would get a normal child disciplined (e.g.: inability to sit still, interrupting with outbursts.) I believe her when she says these behaviors come naturally, and her refusal to use physical punishment or harsh words is reasonably sound.
Related memorable incidents have shown this has not been accepted. As we all know, during the week of July 6, three workers, Donna Grayson, Joe DiTorino and Michael Hammer harassed Valerie about her child raising to the point where she nearly broke down on the job. Nearly a month later, on August 4, our newly hired project manager, Kim Masterson, was heard from the women's restroom screaming at her about the issue, and was even caught pinning her to the sinks. Our corporate attorney, Linda Fortense, has also given Valerie problems, by giving her unsolicited advice (i.e.: that she must spank Jeremy for bad behavior and spank often) and dismissing Jeremy's mental problems as an "excuse" to let him act out. However, during a recent assignment, a commercial to promote Shaken Baby Syndrome for Children's Hospital, all five employees displayed towering arrogance. During the production process on September 17, it was reported that:
Kim screamed at Jeremy to be quiet during filming of individual scenes with him and Valerie, and physically forced him to sit on the floor, then criticized Valerie for not disciplining him.
Joe spanked Jeremy for creating a typical scene when he wouldn't follow his directions
Michael and Donna gave harsh comments defending these actions while shooting at Valerie's house, as did Linda the next morning, along with more unsolicited advice.
At today's meeting, with our client from Children's Hospital, Dr. Neil Taylor, present, all five remorselessly defended their actions, even after Dr. Taylor presented the symptoms of Shaken Baby Syndrome, and advised why spanking and yelling does not work. (Brochures have been enclosed in some copies.) As a result, this entire group has been fired.
As you all are aware, our busiest period of late October through mid-December is upon us, meaning we will again be seeing more Thanksgiving and Christmas-related projects from veteran and new clients. Because Valerie has had a reputable record, we will need her here for this crucial time. We cannot afford to give her paid vacation time to recover from a potential meltdown, which will happen if this harassment continues. Therefore, all parenting advice directed towards Valerie, as well as all gossip about her, must cease. This includes during coffee breaks and lunch times. Failure to comply will result in the offenders being released and replaced.
Thank you for your time. I hope you will take this message, my concerns and Valerie's feelings into your consideration.
Valerie was satisfied at the memo, and put it in her briefcase. She went to Mr. Sussex's office for her next assignment. It would probably be helping him with hiring replacements, she guessed.
A/N: Yes, I finally killed off the romance between Mace and Nightshade here. Though I haven't seen the Mace's Romance and Lawless Lady episodes of the show that bring this up, I read about this on Wikipedia, and still laughed it off as a fluke that was never meant to be to start with. To all who see this, I stand by this decision.