A/N: You know, I've been wondering where all my humour went while I was writing the Roommates sequel, and then I realized there's no humour in THAT because I'm putting all the humour HERE...

Disclaimer- :runs out of the room crying for being reminded again and again by K. Masashi that Kiba is his:

Kiba looked around before quietly creeping towards the coffee machine. Kakashi said he was hyper enough without the added caffeine, therefore he never let him have any. But when Kakashi wasn't there—it was fair game. Kiba smirked as he grabbed a mug, poured some coffee into it, and put the rim to his lips.

"Where is he?.!" The door slammed open and Kiba spat what little coffee he had in his mouth out before dropping his mug. It shattered as it hit the floor, coffee spraying everywhere.

"N-Naruto?" he asked, stunned, as the blond ran up to him and hid behind him, a look of panic in his eyes. "Wha—?"

"Where is he?.!"

"Who?" Kiba asked, confused. Naruto spun him around, grabbed his collar, and shook him.

"Don't give me that! You know who I'm talking about!"

"No, I really don't." Kiba insisted.

"Sasuke!" Naruto exclaimed, and then gasped before turning Kiba around and hiding behind him again, as if the mere name frightened him.

"What's up with you?" the brunette demanded, utterly confused.

"He follows me! Everywhere! I go to work, and he's there. I go home, and he's there. Heck, I'm surprised he doesn't follow me into the shower!" Naruto's eyes widened. "Unless he put a camera in! Oh my God, I have to shower with him here! Save me!" He began shaking Kiba from behind.

"You're over-exaggerating." the brunette insisted as he let the blond man shake him.

"Oh yeah? Did you pick Sasuke up this morning?.! Did you?.! Huh?.!" Naruto demanded.

Kiba frowned. "Come to think of it, I was wondering why he wasn't there. Even honked my horn five times." He turned to Naruto with a sheepish grin. "His neighbour threw a tomato at my windshield."

"Good morning!" Genma burst out as he slammed into the main room from the rig bay. "How are you doing this fine Wednesday morning, Naruto? Good? Good!"

"What am I, chopped liver?" Kiba grumbled as he grabbed a wet cloth and began to pick up the broken pieces of his coffee mug.

"Good morning." Raidou said as he followed Genma in, nodding to Naruto and Kiba. "The Captain here, yet?"

"No." Kiba grumbled. "But he will be by the time I clean this up, and I won't be able to have any coffee."

"You don't need any coffee!" Genma chirped as he grabbed a mug and poured himself a cup.

"No, you don't need any coffee." Kiba insisted with a glare. "But you go ape-shit when you're not allowed any."

"It's true." Genma sighed with a pleasant smile on his face before taking a large gulp. "Man that tastes good."

"Yeah, rub it in, Genma. Rub it in." Kiba growled.

"Does this mean you're finally willing to sleep with me?.!" Genma asked excitedly, putting his mug on the counter as Kiba's eyes widened.

"It's a figure of speech, man! A figure of speech!"

"Morning, Naruto." a smooth voice said from right behind the blond.

Naruto let out a shriek before jumping away and hiding behind Genma, pointing one accusing finger at the grinning raven. "Wh-why are you following me, you pervert?.!"

"You're calling me a pervert?" Sasuke cocked an eyebrow before motioning the man Naruto was hiding behind. "I'm not the one who tries to molest you in the shower."

"Huh?" Naruto asked, confused. Suddenly, Genma wrapped his arms around Naruto, holding him tightly.

"Don't worry, Naruto. I'll protect you!" His hands lowered and he clenched Naruto's butt-cheeks through his pants.

Naruto let out another shriek.

"Get him off! Get him off!"

All heads snapped up as the intercom in the firehouse went off.

"This is an automatic alarm for Engine Seven, Truck Ten, and Battalion One. Need you to go to 2432 Valin Drive. Have a report of their fire alarm system going off."

"All right, men. Let's go." Kakashi called as they all ran to the bay and jumped into their bunker gear. Kakashi felt his heart clench as Kotetsu jumped behind the wheel of Truck Ten—the place Zabuza used to occupy—but he let it slide and got into Engine Seven. Now wasn't the time to be thinking of his old friend.

The two rigs screeched out of the bay, their sirens blaring as the four paramedics watched them leave.

Since this wasn't an official fire, Medic Eight hadn't been called out. They would only be sent to the location if there were casualties due to an actual fire. If the fire was certain, they didn't need a call to go out, but in cases such as these, nine times out of ten, fire alarms going off were false alarms. But there was always the tenth.

As Truck Ten got closer, Izumo—who was in the passenger seat—squinted his eyes before cursing. He grabbed the CB radio and hit the talk button to speak with his captain.

"Kakashi, we're going to need more rigs, cause it looks like we're having a barbecue."

"Shit." Kakashi cursed as he changed the channel to call it in. He informed the dispatcher that they had a live fire and were going to need more rigs as well as their medic.

Fifteen seconds later, Medic Eight screeched out of Station Seven, leaving the bay silent and empty.

They were far behind the two rigs, having received the call later, but Aoba could still see the flashing lights of the two bigger rigs as they lumbered down the streets.

As soon as Engine Seven screeched to a halt in front of the burning building, Kakashi jumped out to regard it. It wasn't too bad, probably just someone playing with matches somewhere. Definitely not the work of any arsonist.

"Oh, thank God you have arrived!" A man ran towards Kakashi in a green jumpsuit, bouncing around worriedly before pointing at the building on fire. "That's my gym! Save it!"

"We'll do everything we can, sir. Please step back." Kakashi insisted as he pushed the man to a safer distance.

"But you do not understand! This place is filled with youthful love and energy! You must save it for it to continue to thrive off the love and health of others!"

"Yes, sir. Please, step back." Kakashi ordered. He was starting to lose his patience.

Sasuke and Naruto had already pulled out the hose, the blond unravelling it while Kiba and Sasuke snapped their masks into place before crawling into the gloom.

"So, where were you this morning, Death?" Kiba inquired as he followed close behind the other firefighter.

"None of your business." was the clipped reply.

"Aw, come on, man. Tell me. I got a tomato thrown at my windshield. You owe me." Kiba said as he almost bumped into Sasuke, the other man having stopped.

"Now's really not the time to be discussing this, Wolfgang." Sasuke snapped as he got on his knees and readied the hose. Kiba pressed into his back. "Charge the line!"

Upon hearing the order, Naruto turned the water on and inside, Sasuke opened the nozzle, bucking back into Kiba. The brunette let out a grunt.

"Shit, man, you gotta lose some weight."

"Ladies!" Kakashi's voice snapped over the radio. "This is not a social call! This is a fire!" he reminded them.

"Sorry, Scarecrow." Kiba mumbled as he and Sasuke moved further into the building, chasing the fire into a corner.

An hour and a half later, and the small fire was put out, all of them thankful that The Fan hadn't had anything to do with it. The members of Engine Seven went back to the Station while Truck Ten stayed behind for overhaul, something which Genma had fought against violently.

"But if I stay here, who's going to molest Naruto in the shower?.! We all know it's the best part of his day!"

The blond had gone inside briefly with Gaara to relieve Kiba and Sasuke, and even though they had been inside for half the time Sasuke and Kiba had been, they still needed a shower. And since Genma wasn't at the Station, everyone was going to use this time to their advantage.

Well, almost everyone.

"What are you doing?" Kiba asked with a cocked eyebrow.

Naruto was sitting on his assigned bed, a towel around his waist and his hands clasped together as he stared at the floor. His eyes were wide, as if he were watching some kind of horror movie and couldn't see any possible way the director would give it a happy ending. Kiba was slightly concerned, but when he placed his hand on Naruto's shoulder, the blond let out a shout before jumping away.

"Whoa!" Kiba jerked his hand away. "Man, what's wrong with you? You've been acting weird all day."

"He's in the shower." Naruto whispered.

"Genma isn't here." Kiba reminded him.

Naruto was suddenly on his feet, grabbing Kiba by the bare shoulders and shaking him. "Not Genma! Sasuke!"

"Why are you scared of him? He hasn't tried to molest you."

"Not yet!" Naruto exclaimed. "Just you wait! Give him the opportunity and wham!" Kiba jumped as Naruto clapped his hands right in front of his face.

"I thought you were gay, anyway. Why is this such a problem?" Kiba scratched his head, getting exasperated. He wanted to shower before their next call came in.

"I'm bi, Kiba! Being bi-sexual and being gay are two completely different things!"

"Uh huh." Kiba replied slowly before inching around Naruto. "Well, you can stay out here and smell like fire until Genma comes back to molest you, or you can come inside and stop being a pansy. Your call." Kiba walked into the bathroom, pulling his towel off as he did so. (1)

Naruto whined where he stood, looking at the door to the bunk-room before looking at the bathroom door. It was true. Between Genma and Sasuke—the raven was the lesser of two evils.

"Great. Just fucking great." Naruto grumbled as he ran one hand through his blond locks and then entered the bathroom.

He threw his towel off and trudged purposefully towards the shower right beside Gaara, ensuring to put himself between the redhead and the door, so he could make a hasty retreat should Sasuke suddenly turn into Genma. He avoided all eye-contact with Sasuke, not even sure if the raven was looking at him.

Surprisingly enough, he wasn't, but that was because the Uchiha had noticed Kiba watching him, and he didn't want the dog-lover to know he had a thing for the blond. After all, he'd done nothing in front of him as of yet that would prove he liked Naruto, and he planned on keeping it that way. And just to prove it, he'd left Naruto a little surprise.

"What the fuck is this?.!" Naruto hollered from the other side of the shower room. Everyone turned to him, including Kakashi.

Naruto was looking down into his hand, his other holding his shampoo bottle. He'd just squeezed some of the shampoo into his hand only to find it clumpier than usual. Upon closer inspection, he'd recognized it to be hair-dye. To be precise, blond hair-dye.

"I could see your roots starting to show." Sasuke teased from across the small room, speaking loudly to be heard over the sound of water hitting tile. "I thought I'd be nice and provide you with some hair-dye."

"I'm a natural blond, you fucking asshole!" Naruto hollered, pointing at his groin. He immediately regretted it, because he'd just given Sasuke permission to look, and hastily turned around, blushing a deep red before grumbling to Gaara that he needed to borrow some shampoo. The redhead gave it to him with a shadow of a smile on his face.

Kakashi leaned towards Kiba. "I believe you have a tally to fix." He smiled.

"Sasuke, two. Naruto, one." Kiba grinned.

Seven hours and forty-five minutes later, after a full day of rushing to accidents, putting out fires, and resetting automatic alarms, the crew of Station Seven only had fifteen minutes left before they were off for the night. They had the day shift tomorrow, but that started around three in the afternoon, so Naruto was confident he and Neji could go out for some beers.

Just as Naruto was imagining the cool liquid flowing easily down his throat—the speaker popped and he let out a loud groan before rushing into the bay and jumping into his gear, only half-listening to the announcement being made on the speaker.

Once everyone was in Engine Seven, they rushed off, and Naruto realized it was an accident as opposed to a fire—this being evident, since Truck Ten wasn't joining them, but Medic Eight was.

And, sure enough, when they arrived at the scene, there was a four-car pile-up. Luckily, it didn't seem anyone was hurt, but a few of the drivers were yelling at one another. That was when Naruto grinned, because he recognized the two cops telling them to calm down.

Even though the two of them weren't assigned to Station Twelve's district when Naruto worked there, he knew them both quite well. He would be willing to bet his house that Neji knew they were the cops assigned to Station Seven's district, and he hadn't told him because he wanted him back.

"Listen here, you little bitch—" One of the drivers growled as he pointed one finger at one of the cops.

"You will not raise your voice to a police officer!" The other cop snapped, slapping the offending hand away. "Would you like to go to jail? Is that what you want?"

"She's being unfair!" The driver insisted as Naruto climbed out of the rig, his jacket and helmet still inside. He was wearing nothing but his bunker pants and a black shirt, his suspenders hanging off their hooks on either side of his pants.

The driver reached out to grab the cop but she moved quickly and without warning. She grabbed his wrist, twisting it brutally before jerked him around and thrusting his own arm up his back before smashing him face-first into the hood of his car.

"Still picking on the small-fry, huh, Hinata?" Naruto smirked as he meandered towards the lithe young woman.

Hinata Hyuuga, Neji's cousin, turned from her position holding the struggling man down, not relinquishing her hold. Upon seeing Naruto, she blushed cutely.

"H-hi, Naruto." She stuttered. "Neji told me you might be transferring to Seven, but he told me not to tell you I worked this district, or else you'd never leave."

"It's true." Naruto chuckled. "We all know I like you better than that butt-head." Hinata's blush darkened.

Naruto was just about to continue his conversation when someone grabbed the back of his shirt and wrenched him backwards. He let out a yelp, but it was ignored as he was dragged back to the rig and Kiba pulled him around the back so they were out of sight.

"Ow." Naruto whined.

"Y-you know her?" Kiba asked, dumbfounded.

"Of course I know her." Naruto frowned. "She's Neji's cousin. I practically grew up with her because of Neji. She's like a little sister." He frowned. "Well, kind of. Hard for her to be a little sister when she's a few months older than me, but she acts so young and cute I can't—" Naruto was cut off as Kiba grabbed the front of his shirt and pulled him forward so they were almost nose to nose.

"Will you introduce me to her?" He whispered, his eyes wide. "I've been working in Station Seven forever and I've seen her every time the cops have been called, but I've never had enough courage to introduce myself."

Naruto snorted. "She's the easiest person ever to get along with."

"But her partner scares me." Kiba whispered. Naruto laughed.

"Shino Aburame? He's always stone-faced. He's a little like Gaara."

"I knew it! He'll kill me!" Kiba clutched his head and Naruto just laughed.

"Minus the homicidal tendencies." Naruto smirked. "Shino's like her brother. He and I have the same relationship with her. When we were kids, he was the only person other than me who didn't treat her badly. We let her hang out with us and Neji all the time. Shino used to be her neighbour and—being the protective big brother he was—he joined the police force when he found out she was. It's kind of funny how everyone here is interconnected somehow." Naruto smiled.

"I guess." Kiba shrugged. "Me and Raidou and Genma. Sasuke and Kakashi. You, Gaara, Neji, Hinata and Shino. Kakashi and Zabu—" Kiba cut himself off, bitting his lip, hard.

"Sorry." Naruto winced. "Come on, I'll introduce you." He patted Kiba on the shoulder before leading him back around the rig.

Naruto walked up to the two police officers who were busy getting one of the drivers into the back-seat of a police cruiser, other officers talking to the other drivers.

"Hey, Hinata! Shino! You guys must know Kiba, right?" Naruto motioned the brunette he had one arm wrapped around. "He works for Station Seven."

"I recall seeing him before." Shino replied. "Good to see you, Uzumaki."

"S'been a while, eh, Bug-boy?" Naruto grinned.

"It has. A full two days."

"Two days?" Kiba asked with a frown.

"Shino shops at Wal-Mart, where my other job is. I always give him discounts." Naruto whispered. "Don't tell anyone."

"It's nice to formally meet you, Kiba." Hinata said in a small, shy voice. "I'm Hinata Hyuuga. This is my partner, Shino Aburame."

Hinata had an advantage in her line of work. When people saw her, they immediately categorized her as a shy, weak girl. But once you messed with her, you learned never to do it again. She was lethal in every respect, whether it be with her fists, or with her guns. Naruto remembered never having beaten her when they were kids. Not once. He used to sulk about it, but then she started making him cookies, and he forgot all about it. Hinata always was kind at heart, and never used force unless she had to.

"How's Sabaku doing?" Shino inquired, not having spoken to Gaara in a while.

"He's good." Naruto nodded, before frowning. "I think." He turned to yell a the redhead still by the rig. "Yo, Raccoon-Eyes, you okay?" He received a grunt. "Yeah, he's okay."

"He appears bored." Shino commented. "Perhaps we should go talk to him."

"Hey, good idea." Naruto grinned as he hit Kiba in the back. "Why don't you help Hinata out?" He turned as the brunette sputtered, he and Shino headed back for the rig.

"You can still read my mind, Shino." Naruto smirked at him. "Knew right away I wanted to leave them alone together."

"Is he trustworthy?" Shino inquired.

"Of course."

"He is nice?"

"Always."

"Straight?"

"Duh." Naruto rolled his eyes as they reached Gaara, leaning back against the rig beside his friend. "Yo."

"Hello, Gaara."

"Shino." The other boy acknowledged.

"So, you coming out with us tonight, Gaara?" Naruto asked as he poked the redhead in the cheek. Gaara's eyebrow twitched, but he didn't say anything. "Come on, Raccoon-Eyes. You know you want to." Naruto continued to poke him.

Sasuke had to admit, the more he watched Naruto, the more impressed he became. The blond was probably the only person on the planet who could poke at a dragon continuously and not get barbecued or chomped. Sasuke remembered what Kakashi had told him when he'd first met Gaara, "Do not anger dragons for you are crunchy and taste good with ketchup." (2)

Sasuke was smart enough to read between the lines.

Naruto let out a cheer before bouncing around happily, returning to his table to grab his beer and raise it in the air before downing it.

"Three bulls eyes in a row." Tenten grumbled, crossing her arms. "I still insist you cheated."

"I do not cheat." Naruto insisted, turning to Neji. "Do I cheat?"

"Only when it comes to relationships." Neji teased before taking a sip of his beer—which he effectively got all down his front when Naruto hit him across the back of the head.

"Bastard! Just cause you're getting married and can't go around anymore is no reason to be bitter towards us single folk."

"The way you're going, you'll be single for the rest of your life." Kiba called from the other end of the table, his arm draped across the back of Hinata's chair.

"This may be true, my furry friend, but I won't have him to worry about when I start dating his cousin." Naruto motioned Neji with a smirk. "Or him." He then motioned Shino. Both men were watching Kiba intently, and the brunette gulped. Hinata just blushed sweetly. They weren't dating, as Kiba kept reminding them.

"Yet!" Naruto hollered back to the comment for the fifth time. "Yet, my canine friend!"

"Stop associating me with dogs, dammit!" Kiba hollered, waving one fist at Naruto.

"Ah, but that is what you are." Naruto smirked. "A dog."

"Uzumaki, don't piss him off." Gaara stated monotonously with his arms crossed. "We'll have to live with him tomorrow, and I'll kill you."

"No you won't." Naruto smirked as he took a sip of beer, only to spit it back out. "Hide me!" He flew under the table, Gaara pushing away from it with a jerk at having Naruto so close to his crotch.

"What is it?" Tenten asked as she looked around. "Oh, look! Kakashi, Iruka, Shikamaru and—"

"Wave them over, and I kill you!" Naruto hissed from beneath the table.

"Naruto insists Sasuke follows him around." Kiba whispered to the paramedic.

"He does!" Naruto's head poked out from under the table. "Look at him. Is he glancing casually around the bar, or looking intently for something? Or someone?.!"

The group complied and looked over at the two firefighters and two Arson Investigators. They had to admit, Sasuke did appear to be looking around in such a way that would suggest he was searching for someone. As soon as his eyes landed on Kiba, he smirked and tapped Kakashi, motioning the table the others were at.

"Is he coming?" Naruto whispered from beneath the table as the four men made their way towards their table.

"Yes."

"Make them leave!" Naruto insisted to Neji. "You're scary! Make them scared!"

"Hi." Neji looked up and was face to face with a hand. "I don't believe we've met. My name is Sasuke Uchiha. You must be Tenten's fiancé."

"Neji Hyuuga." Neji shook his hand.

"Do you mind if we join you?" Kakashi asked with a smile, one arm around Iruka's waist.

"Not at all." Neji replied politely as a, "Yes!" appeared out of nowhere. Sasuke just smirked knowingly.

The four men pulled up another table and sat down, those who didn't know each other introducing themselves. After a few minutes, they all fell into easy conversation, since most of them shared the same or similar professions. Shino and Shikamaru got into a heated discussion over whose job was more important, and Iruka commented on the fact that he'd never seen Shikamaru talk so much since he found it to be 'too troublesome'.

"So, Kiba," Sasuke motioned Hinata, "I don't think I've met your girlfriend."

Hinata blushed sweetly and Kiba cocked an eyebrow, clearly asking the raven what he wanted. Sasuke just continued to smirk, as he had been doing since he sat down—his foot pushing harder against the hand it was currently stepping on. He had to admit, he was curious to see how long it would be before Naruto would cry out.

"This is Hinata Hyuuga. She's one of the police officers in our district."

"I thought I'd seen you before." Sasuke smiled, his foot pushing down even harder. He was sure he'd be hearing bones crack, soon.

That was when Sasuke felt it. The distinct pressure of something clamping down hard on his shin. It took him only a split second to react.

"Ow!" Sasuke hollered before pushing his chair back from the table and looking down at the angry blond right at his feet. "Did you bite me, you little shit?.!"

"Yes, I did!" Naruto replied with a glare.

"Naruto?" Iruka asked, utterly confused. He was probably the only one who hadn't noticed the blond beneath the table. "Whatever are you doing down there?"

"Pleasuring Sasuke." Kakashi answered easily as he rubbed Iruka's arm.

The blond sputtered and Sasuke let a smirk form on his face at Kakashi's words. He'd have to remember to thank his foster brother later. Even he wouldn't have been able to think that one up so quickly.

"I was not!" Naruto hollered, red in the face both from anger and embarrassment. "If you must know, I was hiding."

"From what?" Iruka asked with a frown.

"Me." Sasuke smirked. "The idiot has some kind of fantasy where he thinks I'm in love with him. Where he got this idea, I'll never know."

"Fantasy?" Naruto asked as he stumbled out from beneath the table. "Fantasy?.! You're the one perched on the roof across the street day-in, day-out! You're the one who paid my manager for my Wal-Mart schedule! Fuck, I wouldn't be surprised if you had a camera in my bathroom!"

"Two, actually. I like catching both angles." Sasuke teased, emitting a snicker from Kiba. Naruto's sharp glare shut him up.

"You are as perverted as Genma, except he'll openly admit it." Naruto glared at Sasuke, right in front of him, now. "If you don't stop right now, I swear to God, I'll—"

Naruto was cut off as Sasuke discretely tripped the already unsteady blond, causing him to fall into the raven's lap, his lips conveniently at the same level as Sasuke's. Without hesitation, the raven leaned forward slightly and kissed the blond on the lips, Naruto jerking back with a gasp and running the back of his hand across his lips.

"Ew! You see! Did you see that?.!" Naruto hollered.

"I saw you lose your balance and fall onto his lap." Neji replied easily, honestly not having seen the trip or the deliberate kiss. In fact, the only people who'd caught both actions were Kiba and Kakashi, and that was only because they knew the raven so well.

"It's your fantasy, Uzumaki." Sasuke teased.

"I'll fucking get you!" Naruto hollered as he stumbled around the chair, pointing at Sasuke. "I will! Just you wait!" He headed for the door, turned, and headed back towards the table. "Gaara, I caught a ride with you. Let's go."

Without a word, the redhead stood up and followed his furious friend out of the bar, silently smiling to himself. He knew Naruto wasn't nearly as angry as he seemed to be.

Kakashi leaned towards Kiba with a smile. "Sasuke, three." the Captain whispered.

"Naruto, one." Kiba grinned back.

They clinked their beers together before taking a sip each and returning to the various conversations.

(1) Naked... Kiba... :drools on keyboard:

(2) This quote was something I vaguely remembered reading somewhere on the vast array of the interweb, but I couldn't remember the exact wording so I changed it. Then I found the quote again stating it was from an anonymous source and the actual wording is "Do not meddle in the affairs of dragons, for you are crunchy and taste good with ketchup." Then, someone brought it to my attention that this quote is not actually anonymous and comes from the author Sherrilyn Kenyons. So, in a kind of roundabout twist of words kind of way, this quote is hers :P (http : // www . coolquotescollection . com / fantasy 1 . aspx Remove the spaces, and that's where I re-found the quote where it still stated it was anonymous, though above it, it shows JRR Tolkien using a similar quote O_o I like the dragon one better, personally XD)