A/N: Well, this is a one shot that kind of came to me out of nowhere. There's no names mentioned so you can imagine it about whichever wrestler you want. I didn't really have one particular wrestler in mind when I wrote it. It's a slight departure from other stuff I've written so... hopefully it'll go over well. Enjoy. Phoenix
JUST ANOTHER STRANGER?
Another day, another city. I don't even remember where I am anymore... think I lost track somewhere around Cleveland. I'm lying on a solid bed in a hotel room, thinking about how soft my bed at home is. I can never sleep in these places. I'm sure the bags under my eyes have bags of their own by now. But, that's not important. What is important, you may ask. Well, baby... you are.
No matter where I am, no matter how far I travel, you're never out of my mind for more than a second. I miss you so much that it's painful, like I'm being torn in two. One part of me just wants to come home and be there to kiss you good night. The other part of me? The other part of me knows I'm doing this for you.
No, I can't say that honestly.
This thing was never about you... you've never been part of it and I hope you never will be. This business is... draining. As much as it's never been about you, it's been all about me. This is what I wanted, right? This is what I wanted to do with my life. I wanted to entertain, wanted to feel the rush of putting on a great match that the crowd would react positively to.
And, I think I've done that. I think I've had a lot of good matches that a lot of crowds have cheered me for but... does it matter to you? Do you honestly care that Joe Schmo in Idaho clapped when I hit my finisher? No, no, baby, I don't think that you do. I think you'd care more if I was home to read to you at night. That's the part that hurts. I want to be there. I want to be the one tucking you in, kissing your forehead and whispering that everything's okay and that you can sleep without the night light because the monsters won't get you when I'm around.
I want you to know me.
But, at the same time, I fear that I'll be forgotten. That if I stop or take time off the fans will forget everything I've given them – my blood, my sweat, my tears... my heart, my soul, my life - ME. Maybe that's my problem... I long for recognition from total strangers while my child waits at home to see if daddy's gonna make it through the door tonight. And, if I do make it through the door, what shape will I be in? Beaten, bruised and bloodied... not the kind of thing I want my baby to see.
This business has eaten away everything I once held dear. Yet, I hold onto it so tightly, as if it'll fade into nothingness if I blink. While I'm holding onto that, though, you're the one that's slipped away. I've lost touch with who you are... you've grown so much I barely recognized you last time I was home. Hearing you laugh, god, it made my heart skip a beat or two.
But, you weren't laughing because of me.
It's like I'm just a shadow to you... one that's sometimes there, when the sun's high in the sky, but gone other times, when the clouds roll in. That's not what I wanted to be... not the way I want you to see me. Changing that would mean losing something that is a large part of me, though. The business that has taken me all around the world, the life I live away from home... could I give it all up for you? Would you even want me to? Would you resent me in years to come? Do you resent me now?
If I could just see into your mind, hear your thoughts sometimes... I'd know if this is all worth it. If lying here on this stiff hotel bed with bruises on top of bruises is worth all the pain and heartache. When you're old enough to understand, what will you think of your old man?
Will I be your hero or just another stranger?
A/N2: So, there it is. Let me know what you think in a review. Much appreciated. Phoenix