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Disclaimer: Right, Me, My sister, the three people in her head, or anyone else who could be in the mind of my sister, don't own it.
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Chapter three- The French chick.
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Previously on Lost: Hurly was dead, and Ana Lucia was dead and then John Locke and Sawyer blew themselves up.
Kate went off to ride her pony around the island and Jack made Charlie something out of Hurly's distilled bodily fluids and Charlie was high and then the Crazy french chick came and she started talking very loudly and fast in french and no one could understand her because Shannon, the only one who could speak french had been shot a couple of episodes earlier by Ana Lucia.
And then Charlie, who was now high, (On Hurly's body fluids even though he had about three mary statues of crack.) goes "I speak french" and he started to translate everything the french woman said.
"Yeah, she says the transmitter thing that she's done for 50 years even though she's only 40 years old,(Well, No she is about 50 and has been sending the transmission for 30years.) has found something from the planets she's been broadcasting it to and. Uh huh, uh huh, she says that aliens exist."(I said it and I'm gonna say it again, What)
And then Kate came back from her jaunt around the island(Which is practicaly impossible as it took the tailes three days to get across the island, even though they got lost but thats just cus none of them could track.) and Charlie goes "She says she's left the oven on in her little wooden hut and the roast beef is burning."(Which doesn't even exist although it might)
And then the french lady suprised everyone by saying, in perfect english(But she can talk english anyway) "Would you all like to share my roast beef with me?"
And everyone looked at each other and then to the body of Hurly lying dead in the floor, And had just magiclly appered outside the hut of the crazy french lady.) who had always eaten all of their food before, and then they rubbed their stomachs and went "Yum yum" and followed the french lady back to her little wooden hut that was barely big enough for 3 people but somehow all 50 of them managed to sit in it and eat her roast beef.
And then Charlie goes "Hey, guys, I hear something"
And Kate's like "Yeah, 'coz you're still high Charlie"
And charlie goes "No, seriously, it sounds like 'oonga oonga oonga' you listen."
And so they did, and what had happened was The Others had circled the french womans hut, because the smell of roast beef had entranced them, and they were doing their trademark The Other chant whilst banging their wooden sticks on the ground and shaking their hips while wearing Hawaiin-type-raffia-grass-skirts. (What)
And then Charlie goes "Hey, guys I also translate Other-Speak." and he went outside of the hut and goes "Uh huh, uh huh, they say the elephant's going to have a baby and they want us to have it." (But doesn't that need two elephants? where's the other one)
And Claire goes to baby Aaron, "A baby elephant, wow, I always wanted an elephant." And Aaron said nothing because he didnt even know what an elephant was.(And was a baby)
And then The Others all went away and everyone else went to sleep.
Except for Jack and Kate, who were sitting by a bonfire because it's surprising how cold the nights can get on a desert island in the middle of the pacific ocean. And Kate was looking at her feet because she didnt trust herself to look into Jacks eyes and she says "I'm sorry about the kiss"
And Jack goes "I'm not. It was the only really good kiss you've given me, And you've given me a lot of kisses." ( But she hasn't really, cus she only gave him one, and then ran away)
And she goes "Maybe I should kiss you again to prove that I really am a good kisser"
And he goes "OK"
And they both lean in for the kiss, and shut their eyes and get closer together until.
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Right well umm, do they kiss?