Envy woke up feeling sick. A heavy, laden sensation was overcoming his body, and his stomach panged with strong waves of pain and nausea. A dark blanket of hot air seemed to press on him, and he felt a strong desire to get a breath of fresh air.
He staggered to his feet, and swayed slightly. So heavy...so painful. He hobbled out of the dark hallway, and down the stairs. Every movement caused his stomach to contract in pain. His eyes narrowed, and his teeth were bared in a grimace.
He almost fell down the stairs. The first stumble had nearly sent him toppling down the long fall to the hard wooden floor below. But he gradually made his way down, and stopped to rest near the bottom, his stomach clenched in pain.
Footsteps thudded towards him, accompanied with the loud clanking of armor.
"Invidia? What are you doing?" Al asked, kneeling down besides the cat.
Envy said nothing, except to gasp in pain as his body gave a nasty twang.
Al noticed. "Winry! Brother!" He cried, waving them over.
Ed and Winry bent down besides Envy. Winry noticed as once that something was wrong. "Oh my God! What's wrong with him?" She gently picked him up and coddled him in her lap. She eyed the glazed, hollow look in his eyes and the sweat gathering on his brow and underneath his hair.
Ed sniggered. "Den probably beat the hell out of him."
"No, Ed, look at him!" Winry said urgently, pushing some of Envy's hair out of his eyes and wiping away some of the moisture. "There's really somthing wrong!"
Envy was listening to this with only half of his attention span. One part of him was listening, and the other half was restraining himself from throwing up.
"Winry..." Envy muttered at last, his eyes closed, thankful for the feel of Winry's cold skin on his face. "Winry...I.." His stomach clenched, and he gave a pathetic mew of pain. "I... I need...air..."
Winry nodded and carried Envy towards the porch. A foul taste rose in his mouth, and he felt the urge to vomit again. A gagging sensation seemed to constrict his air passage. He couldn't breathe!
He coughed hard, and gagged. Winry dropped him like a hot coal two feet from the door. Envy staggered onto Winry's porch, and retched.
Winry put her hand over her mouth. "Ugh.." She muttered, furrowing her brow in disgust. "Yuck..."
Ed had sauntered up behind Winry, Al in toe. Edward wrinkled his nose. "Ew. Thank god he did that outside..."
Envy took two paces back from the lovely wet hairball and shook his head. He felt a lot better. The heavy, choking sensation had left him, and his stomach was starting to relax slightly. Breathing hard, he looked up at Ed and Winry, and croaked the word, "Water."
Winry nodded and scrambled away, leaving Ed and Envy to stare at each other.
"You know something," Edward said, his face still contorted into one of disgust. "I actually feel sorry for you."
"Hagane O'chibi-san." Envy said in a weak, businesslike tone. "I expect this not to be mentioned again." He looked away from Edward and out onto the night. "Time?" He asked, glancing back at Edward.
Winry came forward with a large bowl of icy water. She placed it next to Envy, who guzzled it appreciatively.
"Winry, did you see the time when you were inside?" Edward asked, watching Envy suck the water up. Winry nodded.
"11:52." She said. "We oughta hurry up."
Envy swallowed his mouthful of cold water, and licked his lips. "Damn fur." He muttered, pushing past Ed and Al to make his way back to the dedn. His stomach was still gnarled into a knot that made him slightly nauseous, but he didn't show it. His eyes were hollow, and his hair was slick with sweat.
Ed, Al, and Winry followed Envy silently, not daring to speak.
They waited in the den for at least fifteen minutes before Lust showed up. Envy was curled on the couch, still feeling slightly ill, exhaustion seeping through him. Lust tapped quietly on the closed window with one of her extended fingernails. Al leapt up from his spot on the floor and opened the door. Lust crawled in and, again, sat next to Envy.
She was about to speak, but saw the state of her once-homunculus partner. "What happened to you?" She asked interestedly.
"S-sick." Envy said quietly. Lust raised her eyebrows.
"What do you mean? I should think the homunculus in you would prevent that..."
"It's not that kind of sick, Lust." Winry explained, gently touching Envy on one of his huge paws. "Uhm...it's more of a hairball situation."
Lust's eyes widened in surprise. "Really?" She purred, gently massaging Envy behind the ears. "How disgusting. I told you not to be afraid of your instincts, Envy, not embrace them."
Envy laughed sourly. "Ha-hah, you're really funny, Lust." He sighed, and put his head on Winry's lap, his shoulders sagging despairingly.
Lust looked away. It was apparent that this was nothing to toy with in Envy's eyes. "What did you do today?" She asked. Envy furrowed his brow. This was a rather odd question for Lust to ask. She usually showed no intrest in Envy's daily routine.
"Hmmm...went outside, got laid, uh, stole a fish, got chased by a dog, then hacked up a hairball." Envy recited nonchalantly.
"Got laid? What?" Ed cried, shaking his head disbeleivingly. "No way. Not in that form."
Envy grinned. "Yup. She's a green eyed, white and black haired queen." He purred, remembering Sasha and a happy look coming into his eyes. "Such a nice cat, but really quite the sexy one."
Ed chuckled. "Only you, Envy. Only you would think of awkward sex with another fuzzyball as erotic."
Envy grinned darkly. "'least I'm not a virgin."
Ed felt a dull flush creeping up his neck, but he said nothing to further provoke Envy's insults. Instead, he said, "I did some reading today, and found the alchemic formula to return a chimera to it's original human/animal counterparts. But it's so difficult. It's one of the most complex arrays I've ever seen; except for the one to make the philosopher's stone. It's hard to decipher."
Lust nodded approvingly. "At least you have it. You have all the time in the world to figure it out, too." She reached over and petted Envy on the head.
"Not all the time..." Ed said, shrugging. "It'll be harder now that I don't have my watch. And I won't be able to do any reasearch tomorrow."
"Why?" Envy whined, looking up at Edward.
"Because... tomorrow is Winry's birthday." Edward said slowly, looking at Winry.
"Oh, god." Winry said quietly. "I'd forgotton." She looked at Envy. "Since YOU came around, I'd lost track!" She suddenly dove at Edward. "What'dja get me?" She asked. "A wrench? A broken car? A WRENCH?" She asked, bouncing up and down eagerly.
Ed yelped and leapt out of the way. "Yai! I won't tell you!" He cried, backing up against the wall.
"You know, I could really use a new wrench!" She gushed, speaking really fast. "Because my last one broke when I threw it at the wall after getting mad about me not being able to get that hacksaw that I wanted! DID YOU GET ME THE HACKSAW?"
Ed looked around for an escape, then dove out the open window. They heard his footsteps circling the house, then heard the front door open, shut, then heard his boots thudding up the stairs to his bedroom.
Silence.
"That...was weird." Envy said, finally breaking the silence.
----------
The next morning was chaotic. The house was warm, sunny, and loud as holy hell. Winry was shrieking and pounding on Edward's door with enough force to knock over a carthorse.
"TELL ME WHAT YOU GOT ME!"
"NO! I'M NOT GOING TO TELL YOU!"
"PLEEEEEEEASE?"
"NO!"
Pinako was in the kitchen with Al, and the pair of them were working hard to cook Winry's cake. The smells wafting from under the closed kitchen door were so enticing that Envy and Den had put aside their differences and spent all day wandering around outside of it.
By 10 o'clock and after three hours of pacing outside the kitchen, Envy had managed to slip inside. He had perched on top of the cupboards above the sink, and watched with wide eyes as Pinako stirred the vanilla cake batter with a wooden spoon.
Al was cooking lunch. Envy had no idea what it was, but it looked like cheese..or rice...or bacon. Or a combination. He didn't know. All he cared was that it smelled good.
Pinako left the kitchen, carrying a bowl of dog food that was probably for Den.
"Aaallllll... Al-chan!" Envy purred quietly.
"You're not getting any." Al replied promptly without looking up.
"Getting any-? Huh? Oh! Oh, you thought I wanted some of that lovely rice stuff you're making? Oh, you're silly, Al. You're silly. I love that you'd go there. You're silly. You're silly. Good-bye." He leapt from the cupboard and brushed past Al, heading for the dining room.
'Damn, damn, damn, damn.' Envy thought, curling his lip. 'How dare he deny me the food I desire? I oughta go back there and...uhm...scratch his..armor.' He passed Pinako on her way back into the kitchen, and shot her a filthy look. 'You better not have left me any tuna fish, you wrinkled old bag.'
He wandered up to Den, who was munching on his own food and not paying the chimera any attention. Envy pushed Den out of the way and stared at his own bowl. It was empty.
Anger welled inside Envy. How dare that old hag not give him any food? How DARE she? He growled low and turned tail, storming back into the kitchen with his tail held high.
"MRROW!" He demanded to the kitchen door. It remained shut. He huffed out his breath and narrowed his eyes. Dammit. He jumped up and pushed against the door with his front paws. He wasn't strong enough to push it open. He pushed harder, but only succeed in flipping forward and onto the floor. He sighed heavily and glared at the crack under the door. He could see Pinako's feet walking by. He slipped his paw underneath the door and groped for Pinako's slippers, eager to sink his claws into them.
SMACK!
"YEOW!" Envy leapt backwards and landed lopsidedly on three feet. His forepaw stinging, he spat angrily, his tail puffed up to three times its normal size.
The door opened at last, and Pinako stood there, holding a spatula like a sword and glowering at the cat. "What the hell do you want, cat?" She growled, holding the spatula at ready.
Envy meowed and took a few steps toward his bowl, then looked back at Pinako. She was watching him still. He took a few more steps toward his bowl, then prodded it with his paw, then looked back up at Pinako. She shook her head, rolled her eyes, and walked over. She picked up the bowl and dissappeared into the kitchen with it. About time.
Envy took his place outside the kitchen door, waiting impatiently for his bowl to be returned, hopefully full of food. He waited about 7 minutes before the door opened again. Pinako placed his bowl down in front of him, then slammed the door in his face.
He examined the contents of the bowl. Outrage boiled inside of him as he glared at it.
Milk.
The frothy white liquid couldn't be mistaken for anything else. He inclined his head so that he could lap up some of the milk. It wasn't bad. But he needed FOOD. As in solids. Liquids weren't going to sustain him all day...or for an hour, for that matter.
Footsteps distracted him from his meager dish. He looked up to see Edward tromping towards him, having finally escaped Winry. "Hey Invidia." He said cooly, looking down at the cat with a smirk on his face. He knelt down so that he was eyelevel with the cat. "I see you've finally stooped to your all time stereotype. Drinking milk from a saucer like a good little kitty in nursery rhymes. How cute." He grinned blackly.
Envy said nothing, but met the alchemist's gaze with silent defiance. Then, he flipped back his paw and knocked the bowl of milk into Ed's face.
Ed leapt back, howling like a wounded dog. "ARRRGH! SPAWN OF A COW! AHHH! DAMMIT!" He spat out a mouthful of milk and wiped his face with the back of his sleeve.
Auri's Notes: Muahahah... Edo-Chan and milk.