Written in the Stars
By Gilmoregirl1979 (the reigning Quote Queen)
Provider of QUALITY Fan Fiction
Rating: PG-13
Hi this is your friendly disclaimer: I REJECT ASP's REALITY AND SUBSTITUE MY OWN! Once again, I don't own (DAMN IT! DAMN IT DAMN IT DAMN IT DAMN IT!), No Harm No Sue. (JUST GIVE ME A JOB and we will call it even!)
R/R: yes please I love reviews; I wanna marry them (as previously stated, I have strange passions.)
Summary/ The Q: What if LL hooked up when they first met? What if things had moved … a touch more quickly…?
Luvz: I miss you!
FEATURED BETA: localizy, thank you for putting up with my compulsive persnickety changes…
Localizy, What Can I Say…
No seriously go read localizy's fic what can I say…. read this first… then go to her's!
A/N: I hope this was worth the wait!
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Chapter 29:
Postcard From The Edge
Lorelai sat at the writing desk in the living room, tapping a pen on the table top and simply stared at the piece of paper before her. Her only activity was chewing on her index finger.
The paper initially had Lorelai chewing on her lip… when they became chapped she'd pick at the dead skin, when her lip was too sensitive to play with, she took to biting her nails, after her nails were gone, so she took to just blatantly chewing on her finger and tapping the pen. She just sat, staring at the paper and thinking about that piece of paper, hoping Luke and Rory would come home to save her from her self-mutilation.
It was a postcard.
It was a postcard from Christopher Hayden.
Christopher Hayden … who was Rory's father.
Out of the blue, a post card from Christopher, Rory's father.
Lorelai had no idea what to do with the now offensive piece of paper.
What was so offensive about it?
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Hey Lor and Ror,
Just wanted to check in on my girls. Here's a new address, not sure if I sent this to you already. The phone number is pretty permanent too. I guess school is starting up soon, right? I want to hear all about it. Don't hesitant to call or visit. Love Chris
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The P.S. was his new phone number.
Pretty innocent, pretty straight forward, or was it? Lorelai wondered.
Hey Lor and Ror,
What's up with the rhyming? Are we suddenly Siamese twins in the freak tent at the World's Fair? I hate being called Lor; can't you muster up those last two syllables?
Just wanted to check in on my girls.
Your girls? We haven't been your girls since… I don't think the collective two of us have ever been your girls.
Here's a new address not sure if I sent this to you already.
If you sent us anything at all, I'd think I'd remember it; it's such a unique and rare occurrence; If Hailey's Comet came through my living room… I'd think I'd remember it!
The phone number is pretty permanent too. Don't hesitant to call or visit.
Visit? Hello you are on the other side of the country! You think I'm just gonna drop everything, because you finally gave me permission to visit you? We've tried the visit idea before, dude, and I decided that I don't like waiting at a "common ground" rest stop with truckers whistling at me and my five year old daughter, while you are three hours late on your motorcycle because you got lost trying to find yourself!
Needless to say, Lorelai had worked herself up into quite an emotional state; hence her lack of finger nails, the only surprise was how upset she became; how she was still angry at Christopher for missing out on his obligation as a father. Upset over this sudden interest in contact, because they were doing fine without Christopher and with Luke. She was still fidgeting like mad, adding her foot tapping to the rhythm. The postcard was so casual, as if he woke up and said, "Hey, that's right, I have I kid…oh well."
Lorelai was just trying to breathe deeply and stare…rather glare now, at the card. Tapping her pen and her toe, unsure if she should call the number and tell him off once and for all, or write a really nasty letter, or to just ignore it, the way he had ignored them for so long.
Lorelai was now working toward crying, or rather the struggle not to cry. Just when everything was falling into place with Luke, when she was ready to let go of the past, just when she knew she loved Luke more than anything, well except Rory of course, just when Lorelai thought she could make plans with Luke; Thanksgiving, Christmas, have a permanent future with his diner and her eventual Inn, then Christopher drops a line to mess everything up.
Lorelai didn't know if she should make contact with Christopher again and bring up all those old feelings and memories to confuse her. She didn't know if she should tell Christopher about Luke, tell him about how happy she was, and how Rory may one day have a step father. How are you supposed to handle these situations? She didn't want it to come off like she was rubbing his face in how happy she had been, and still am! Lorelai had spent the day planning birthday shindigs and shopping for presents… for Luke and Rory, then the mail came. How could Christopher be so inconsiderate to impede on those forth coming celebrations?
Lorelai didn't know if she should tell Rory about the post card. Things between her and Luke were going so great; Lorelai didn't want to have Rory shove Luke aside because her father was finally ready to pay attention to her. How are you supposed to HANDLE these situations?
Lorelai didn't know if she should tell Luke. Being the new boyfriend, he was bound to get jealous with the only other man to have seen Lorelai naked suddenly back in the picture. Maybe worry about Rory turning on him, wanting her father back in the picture as she did when Lorelai and Luke first started dating, or worse thinking Lorelai would want Christopher back. HOW ARE YOU SUPPOSED TO HANDLE THESE SITUATIONS?
"Hey Mom, we got movies!" Rory called as she breezed through the front door to the kitchen to start making dinner with Luke, as had become routine over the summer.
"Great," She said still distant, dreading but longing to be face to face with them.
"Rory picked 'em, so you are gonna have to explain how they are all related…she said something about 6 Kevin Bacons, how are we gonna get through six movies in one night?…do you know what she's talking about?", then Luke stopped in his tracks, noticing right away she was troubled, "Lorelai?"
"Yeah?" she looked at him, afraid but relieved to have something else, someone else to focus on.
As he put down his bags on the desk, Lorelai noticed they covered the postcard Luke knew nothing about, and he asked her, "What is it?"
"Nothing… I'm just… I'm not feeling well."
That sent a red flag to Luke, "Is it…" and he almost didn't want to bring it up again, after the previous ugliness, but he leaned in so Rory didn't hear, "…the thing you were scared of … you know in July?"
"No…" she smiled thankfully, that's all I need right now… "I'm on the pill, remember," she reminded in a whisper.
"Right, right," Luke honestly had forgotten, she told him once that she was going on birth control, and they never spoke of it again, but he knew sometimes even the best prescriptions had been known to fail. "Okay? Come on, tell me," he squatted down beside her, "Maybe I can help…"
Oh trust me you don't want to help, but smiling at his offer just the same.
"What is it?"
Rory's father wants to be back in her life, "I'll… tell you later please. When Rory's asleep."
"Okay?" Luke patted her thigh, as a small comforting gesture.
Rory burst back into the living room and did a pointed hop right next to Luke with her arms crossed, giving him a funny look.
"Yes Rory?" he asked.
"You have my beef," Rory said with rolling her eyes at the obvious, since he still had his groceries on the desk, hiding the postcard from everyone, but Lorelai. Then Rory turned her attention "Mom I'm gonna make homemade stir fry, and guess what?"
"What?"
Rory held up a VHS tape, "Jump back, I got Footloose!"
Some how Rory knew just what would cheer Lorelai up with a "Six Degrees of Kevin Bacon-A-Thon"
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After the movies, when Luke and Lorelai were upstairs getting ready for bed, as Luke came in from the bath room, he couldn't avoid the subject anymore. "Is it money? Cause I could lend you…"
Lorelai was lying on her side, but sat up when Luke entered, "No, it's not money," Laughing how he always assumed that first…thinking it sweet that'd he'd even offer, still too proud to accept his help in that regard.
"Did you have a fight with Sookie?"
"No," she said calmly, leaning back against her headboard, folding her arms.
He sat on her side of the bed, "Well, we've established you're not pregnant… So…what's wrong?"
Lorelai didn't know how to say it, it was a weird situation, Luke had become the father figure in her little family and Lorelai was starting to like that… she just didn't know how the family dynamic would change if she let Christopher back in again.
"Lorelai, I can't help if I don't know what the problem is..."
"You really want to know?"
"Yes, I really want to know," he assured.
Lorelai took a deep breath, "Christopher …made contact."
Luke's stomach tightened as he heard Mia's words again …once in a blue moon, the absentee father.
Lorelai shook her head and handed Luke the postcard she had hidden under her alarm clock, for him to read for himself. She got out of bed, too upset and angry to sit still. Annoyed that Christopher could still affect her, still mess with her head, still make her question how happy she had been with Luke, and still wonder if Emily's picture perfect family should be together; if it was the right dream to hold out for. She paced about the room and ranted, "He's dropped us a line, again; fallen out of the sky, again; wants things to be different, again; is making all sorts of promises, again; wants to get our hopes up, again; will break our hearts, again…" she held back tears while Luke read the postcard. Calm down Lorelai, it was only like five lines. Then she began to gesticulate wildly, "…And I don't know what to do? I don't know…if I should tell him off… or if I should tell Rory, or keep it from her…or let her tell him off…" when she ran out of words, she sat down on the edge of her bed next to Luke, she hunched over, waiting for what Luke had to say on the subject.
They were quiet for a long time. Luke absorbed the casual and breezy message on the postcard again. Luke turned to her and voiced his honest opinion, as hard as it was for him, "I think you should tell her."
"Seriously?" she couldn't believe her ears.
"Yes, Rory has a right to make the decision, it's her dad." Lorelai shook her head as if she didn't know if that was such a good idea, or if she had the nerve to inflict the undue pain on her daughter, again. Luke continued, "You have always treated her like an adult, I don't know all the whole history with Christopher… but if you shelter her now… if you keep this from her, you are giving him undue resentment from his daughter, and if he does flake again you are robbing Rory of the chance to be justifiably angry with him. I know you want to protect her from… the emotional rollercoaster… but… she has to go through it…she has to learn one way or the other…"
"Luke…" she scooted closer to him, "You know… there is nothing, and I mean nothing, between me and Christopher, not for years now…"
Luke still had his doubts; he trusted her, it was this Christopher he didn't trust, but he appeased, "Yeah, I know…" as he tucked Lorelai's hair behind her ear.
"I love you…" she confessed again, just to remind him.
"I know," he said truthfully, looking her in the eye, "I love you, too," it was Christopher he didn't know or trust, he didn't know what motivated the postcard or what intentions were hidden in the hand written words. This was all new territory for Luke, and he hated it.
"Oh, why does everything have to be so complicated?" Lorelai put her head on his shoulder, and let him hold her in his arms, and they were quiet for a long time.
"Tomorrow… after school… We'll tell her… together," Lorelai decided.
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Luke kept on two of the more reliable teens, Jen and Dennis, as recommended by Rory, the part time help who were usually happy to work weeknights and weekends during school, so Luke was able to meet Lorelai at her house; to be there and be supportive when she told Rory about the postcard once Rory came home from school.
"Mom, I'm home," as Rory entered the living room, she found it suspicious that both adults were waiting for her by the couch, finding the scene awfully familiar, from their "non-fight" back in July, "Well, you two look serious…what's going on?"
Lorelai steeled herself, "Nothing, it's just we… well, we have some news…"
This is what Rory had been waiting for. Rory dropped her book bag, stepped forward with her hands clasped to her chest, gasping excitedly "Are you two getting married!"
Lorelai was stunned for a second and clarified, "Um, no…" why is everyone thinking like that?
Rory jumped to the next logical announcement, "Are you… you know… gonna have… a baby?" she said with her head cocked to the left, as if that would help her see her mother's forming belly and future sibling.
"No," Lorelai had to nervously laugh at how her daughter was about three months too late for that one.
"Is it about my party?"
"No," Lorelai was finding it difficult to recover from each question then broach the difficult subject at hand.
With her excitement deadened, Rory went to the other side of the spectrum, "Are you two …breaking up?" she asked cautiously.
"No" Lorelai said firmly, amazed at how her daughter's curiosity and imagination made it even harder. She should be a cop.
"Did Grandma Gilmore die?"
"No," Lorelai couldn't help but laugh again at the mere suggestion.
"Did anyone die?" desperate for her mother to just get to it.
Lorelai snapped, "Rory, please, could we stop the twenty questions…" Luke squeezed Lorelai's hand, to remind her to use a gentle tone and to tell her it would be alright. Composing herself, Lorelai suggested, "Um… just sit down…"
Rory moved her book bag by the couch and sat with her mother, looking for some sort of reassurance from either adult that the world wasn't about to come to an end.
After another deep breath Lorelai handed Rory the postcard, "This came in the mail… it's for you…it's from your dad," toward the end Lorelai's voice went up to convey excitement, to make her daughter see this was a good thing.
Rory took a minute to recover from the paper in her hand, and slowly read the card, she took another minute to consider the card. Rory's eyes darting everywhere but the faces of the adults before her. "I don't want this," and tried to hand it back to her mother.
"Rory, he wants to talk to you… there's a phone number for you to call whenever you want…we can put it on your bulletin board like before," Lorelai smiled warmly.
"So it can go dead again?" Rory chanced a glance at Luke, who had settled by the fire place, then looked down at her knees, "I don't want this…" still hoping her mother would take back the wretched piece of paper.
"Rory, you don't mean that," Lorelai knew.
"How do you know?" Rory snapped.
"Rory, he's your father…"
"He's never been a father to anyone, he's never around, he doesn't even know me…Luke knows me…" and she looked at Luke square in the eye, "I don't want you to go away…" she pleaded
"Alright, stop right there," Luke quickly sat on the coffee table and assured Rory, "I'm not going anywhere just because your dad is back in the picture."
"But if my dad comes… you'll leave…"
"No, I won't."
"What if something happens?" Rory was positively frantic.
Luke clarified, "Something will happen… you will be able to talk to him on a regular basis, maybe have a real… connection with him…"
"But… I have you… I don't need him."
"Rory…"
"No, I don't need him," and Rory bolted for her room.
Lorelai sighed, in awe of how things had changed. A few months ago Rory had called Christopher's old number, to get him to sweep Lorelai off her feet, away from Luke. Now, Rory didn't want Christopher anywhere near Stars Hollow for fear Luke would leave them. "I can't say I blame her, I don't have the best relationship with my dad… and well I turned out alright," I guess. Yet, deep down Lorelai still longed for unfulfilled respect and caring from her parents, she knew the void her daughter must have felt as Rory's door slammed.
Lorelai was about to follow, wanting to reason with her daughter, hating Christopher for putting Rory through this again, but Luke stopped Lorelai from even getting up from the couch, "Please… let me go…" knowing he had just the right perspective to get though to Rory.
"Okay?" Lorelai nodded, but followed close behind to eavesdrop on the pair.
Rory had left her door unlocked. As Luke entered her room, he saw she was curled up by her headboard, clinging extra hard to Colonel Cluckers. Luke also noticed as he rounded her bed, she seemed to quickly hide something she had in her hand in one of the Colonel's wings.
Luke sat down and gave her a moment to speak first, but he then encouraged, "So… your dad wants to talk."
Rory had never known the joys of having a father around, that is, until Luke entered the picture. Rory knew some kids were stuck with the parents they had, she had the lucky position to pick Luke to be her father figure, and now she wouldn't trade him for anything. "Nothing to talk about," Rory grumbled, "I don't want anything to do with him. It's not like I miss him…" she said in a tough voice.
Luke had to smile at how much the daughter was like her mother, "Rory, he's trying…"
"Well, he's too late… you know when I stopped looking for Christmas presents from him? When I was 7. The last time mom and I tried to visit him he was 3 hours late, and mom was so mad we gave up trying to see him, and he has never came here to see us… his parents live in Hartford just like mom's, and even though we don't exactly get along with them we still see them for holidays and things. He's never made an effort and now out of the blue I'm supposed to just forget all that…11 years of being ignored!"
Lorelai flinched at the doorway as her daughter's voice rose.
Luke still couldn't believe Rory was so young sometimes, he wondered if her advanced reading also advanced her maturity, but all in all, she was still an emotional, sensitive kid. "He's making an effort now. I know your dad hasn't been around much, but it looks like he's willing now. I know you're mature and all but, you are also 11, I just don't want you to regret this decision…I mean… I've been without my dad, too, you know… and if you have missed yours half as much as I've missed mine… well, I think you should give Christopher…" then Luke corrected, "Your dad another chance."
Lorelai watched nervously from the doorway, Luke was being the bigger man, trying to accept this unique family he had walked into, and give Christopher an opportunity to be apart of that family. Maybe that was part of the matchless bond Luke seemed to have with Rory, he was her only male role model, only father figure, and they had both been with out fathers in recent years.
"I don't need him I have you…" and Rory looked up at Luke with wide blue eyes.
Luke saw it there in her big blue eyes, Rory was offering him the keys to the kingdom, if Luke wanted Rory to shut Christopher out she would without a second thought, Luke would just have to say the word. In his gut he knew that was wrong… and selfish. True, Luke didn't want to share Rory and Lorelai, but he also knew that Christopher would always have a connection with the Gilmore girls. Luke also knew that allowing Christopher back in, inviting him back into their lives and consequently into his, would cause just as much heart ache and stress as if Christopher stayed away. It was a catch 22 for Luke.
"…Your father died…of course you'd miss him, you didn't have a choice…" Rory pouted.
"That's my point, you do… you can make this a new beginning, hang out with him… and spend time with him… maybe he's really turned around… maybe he's better now… how are you gonna know if you don't use that number?"
Luke did make sense; Rory had an opportunity he would never have again. You never know if you don't try, is what her teachers always told her in school. After all, she tried something new and had learned how to cook, and she loves it, and as a result loves Luke, but Luke was there to teach me how to cook.
Luke ended with, "Do you know what I'd give for phone number to call my dad. Just to hear his voice again?"
"It would be nice… to talk to him again…" she begrudgingly admitted, "I don't even remember what his voice sounds like," she had grown so used to Luke's fatherly tone. Rory shifted uncomfortably, "…but…you promise you won't go away?"
"I promise… no matter what, I will always be here for you," even if Lorelai and I … break up…down the line.
"Good," Rory nodded, "cause … well, my dad doesn't have he best track record."
"…And yet, he is still trying. You promise you won't forget about me, now?" he countered.
"I promise," Rory gave him a meaningful smile.
"Come here…" and Luke invited her into a hug with his arm around her, and kissed her head again, "It'll be okay, kid."
Rory smiled at the contact, and put her arms around his waist and squeezed. Rory thought of how Luke cared about her, enough to let her real father have some time with her too. She thought about her mother's words of what love really was, how it was magic, and in Rory's opinion, Luke was magic to both Gilmore girls. It finally felt right for her to say, "I love you, Luke," she said softly, wanting to return the sentiment he confessed over the summer while she was sick.
"I love you, too," Luke felt a swelling in his chest which he knew was happiness over hearing the youngest Gilmore girl say those words. Possibly it meant more from Rory; she was the one he had to win over, who had hated him even before meeting him, the one he had to really work with, and now they had a bond that couldn't be broken, at least… he hoped it wouldn't be.
Lorelai seemed relieved by their hug, smiling that Luke had his own way with Rory. She didn't hear the last bit of their conversation; there were whispered words of comfort no doubt. Lorelai went to the living room to leave them in their private moment, seeing that she wasn't needed for the time being.
Luke's curiosity got the better of him, and plainly asked, "What's that?" pointing to the corner of paper that was sticking out of Colonel Clucker's wing.
"Oh" and Rory looked embarrassed, "Nothing…"
"Rory?"
She pulled it out and handed it too him, anxious for his reaction since she knew he didn't like having his picture taken.
"Where did you get this?" he asked, staring at a picture of Lorelai and him sleeping side by side, facing each other, Luke's arm was around Lorelai's waist.
"I took it with Mom's camera… when you stayed over for Misery week. We camped out in the living room and I woke up before you guys…so I figured…"
"Why?"
"I don't know… you two looked so cute together… all cuddled up… this is the best one of all the one's I took, and let me tell you, it was hard not having you guys wake you to the flash… I just … like looking at it… you two seem so happy together… I don't know… it makes me feel better. I usually had it taped on the side of my night stand… but when I was sick …you know, with the chicken pox, I didn't want you guys to find it so I sorta moved it into the Colonel's wings… and he didn't mind… so I kept it there."
She took more than one? "You know… you don't have to hide this…" Luke smiled at her again.
"…but Mom doesn't know… I still have her negatives…"
"We'll just have to slip it in with her others… she never goes through them any way…"
"Okay," Rory agreed.
Luke made a note to make a copy of the picture for him-self to keep tucked away somewhere.
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A/N: I'm sorry... i had to do it... come on! you guys trust me right? just trust me... I'm not ASP!
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"That was all God given talent..." why thank you Luke!
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R/R: PLEASE, I like to better myself. To quote The Princess Bride,
"...Remember this is for posterity, so be honest."
Please be specific with R/R; name one (or as many as you can think of or want to mention..…) At least one specific thing you liked
Please! It makes me feel good...inside (Dirty!)
Hence the Rant option below.
Insert Rant here V
A/N: if not completely satisfied with this chapter, please return unused portion for a full refund...