Huh. No one guessed what the creatures could be. I'll tell you the first two: The Titans first fought a wave each of Raging Goblins and Dwarven Grunts. I'm still offering muffiny goodness for those who can correctly guess individual opponents. On the other hand, kudos and virtupies go to spiritdragon42 and rewind gone nuts for correctly translating the dwarven battle cry. Now then, I believe I had five individual fight scenes to resolve?
DISCLAIMER: I do not own Magic: the Gathering, Teen Titans, the Discworld book series, Zero Wing, or any other trademarked intellectual properties referenced herein. Don't say I didn't warn ya.
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The beast landed in the empty circle circumscribed by dwarven warriors, much to relief of those near it. It was best described as muscular, carnivorous mix of ape and tortoise with a shell made out of cooling lava. Beast Boy could tell the substance was lava because several vents on the thing's back were still enthusiastically oozing the stuff. Its mouth glowed with the volcanic fluid residing within. The changeling knew only one word could best describe his situation: "Dude…"
The creature gave a thunderous roar and charged at the hapless shapeshifter, who barely managed to roll out of the way. Unfortunately, he wasn't able to fully escape harm. As Beast Boy moved to the raging beast's side, the vents on its back actually changed position and fired molten rock at him. Only by changing into a dragonfly did the changeling have enough agility to avoid the magma.
Landing at the thing's other flank, Beast Boy briefly resumed human form to taunt, "Time to fight fire with fire," and exert incredible mental effort. "Think big," he muttered, "think big…"
As the titanic monster turned to face its prey, it beheld a bizarre sight: Instead of the tasty morsel it had attempted to flash-broil, it beheld a near-perfect duplicate of itself. The only flaw was the copy's coloration. It was completely green. The circle widened further to make room for the two giants beginning their epic struggle. No one noticed the goblin in robes slipping his way through the crowd.
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Cyborg's opponent was merciless, hurling electrical energy with barely any pause for breath. It was all he could do to avoid the blasts. That she was, well, a she didn't help matters for the chivalrous hero.
"If we could just talk for a-" His latest attempt at diplomacy was cut short by another electrostatic bolt. "OK, then," he said, wide-eyed.
"Neurok scum!" the electromage spat, power crackling of her ferrous hands, "You and your words mean nothing to the truly strong. They are for weaklings and fools! Go back to your fish-head masters and tell them that!" She punctuated the bizarre insult with yet another flash of lightning.
Cyborg simply stood there, not even bothering to dodge the bolt. The energy surged around him, but quickly dissipated, leaving him unscratched. Raising a sonic cannon arm, he flatly stated, "Back at 'ya," and fired a blast that crackled with the electrical energy he'd been able to absorb from his foe's attack.
The enhanced sonic burst left the sorceress prostrate, groaning in pain and exhaustion. The dwarves attempted to swarm the victorious Titan, but were stopped with a meaningful glare and a shining energy cannon. Kneeling, he said to the half-iron woman, "Now can we talk?"
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The dwarves witnessing Starfire's fight agreed it was one for the ages. The dwarven champion and alien princess traded ferocious attacks, neither giving the slightest edge to the other. Starfire's power of flight was no tactical advantage, as the diminutive doyen could easily generate enough momentum for incredible leaps, usually while performing a lethal somersault with his axe tucked between his knees. The same axe proved durable enough to deflect Starbolts and even, on one memorable occasion, reflect Starfire's eye blasts into her chest.
As of now, both combatants were exhausted, each panting for breath and preparing for a final assault. Each charged, and after an explosion of green and crimson energy, the spectators beheld a perfect stalemate. The front blade of the champion's axe was caught firmly in Starfire's green-glowing hands. Both were standing firmly on the ground, soil extruding from under their feet, forced out from the incredible battle of strength.
"Rutha klorbag," the Tamaranean growled.
"Grr'dukk d'buzh'drak," the dwarf returned.
Then, the hands stopped glowing, the axe fell to the ground, and both combatants followed suit.
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This battle, meanwhile, was still in the most active stages. Robin, wielding the Birdablade in one hand and a partially extended bo staff in the other, was managing to hold his own against the twin samurai. Swords clashed against sword, halberd was sideswiped by staff, but Robin knew he'd reach his limit soon and would have to do something soon or put his life in his foes' hands.
The skinny hero dove between one of the samurais' legs, avoiding the three blades that crashed down where he just recently stood. As his adversary turned, the Boy Wonder stowed his staff and threw a smoke bomb. While the twins searched for him on the ground, he dove screaming from above. Grinning, the brothers pointed their blades upward, intent on letting gravity skewer the teen. Robin, however, had planned for this, and threw two more projectiles: An electrodisk followed by a Birdarang. As the latter struck the former, it unleashed a potent charge that scintillated down the lightning rod-like weaponry and through the bodies of their wielders. The two collapsed, singed and smoking. As Robin watched, they dissolved into scalding, sulfuric vapor.
"Well," the Boy Wonder said breathlessly, "that should take care of that."
"Not quite." Robin knew that, unlike in a certain website, on the field of battle an unexpected reply was a bad thing. Turning to see his responder, the Titan leader beheld a formidable looking man, shirtless and rough hewn. He wielded what appeared to be a spiked log, connected to a number of chains he grasped firmly, and several spears protruded from his saddlebags. Did I mention he was astride a yak? He was astride a yak. It snorted at Robin, musing his hair. "I am Godo," said the yak-rider, "and you have defeated my most trusted lieutenants. Do you know what I do to those who defeat my champions?"
Robin gulped and thought, 'I think I liked it better when I was insane.'
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Raven was getting frustrated, a common attitude when fighting something that can resurrect itself. First, it kept blocking her when she tried to escape from the ring of dwarves Then the blazing bird kept exploding into a storm of pyrotechnic plumage, then restoring itself to avian form. While Raven could shield herself from such explosive onslaughts with little effort, the fact that the thing kept exploding or reforming every time she tried to use her powers on it was rather frustrating.
Her annoyance was nearly reaching levels she thought only Beast Boy could achieve when a voice from the circle drew both her and the bird's attention. "Here, Sparkly!" the gnarly sound rang out, "Be a good boy, Sparkly, come to Daddy!"
The phoenix responded to this by swooping to the source of the voice, a goblin in robes several sizes to large for it, and exploding. Much to Raven's surprise, the goblin returned from death before his pet could, and snatched at a spot that was, unbeknownst to the empath, at the exact center of the feathery nimbus. All of the pieces of the bird were sucked into a circle roughly the size of the goblin's hand. Said goblin then leapt up and down trying to garner Raven's attention, shouting "Miss! 'Scuze me, Miss!"
Half driven by curiosity, half because the creature bore a more than passing resemblance to Beast Boy, especially when trying to get Raven to notice him, she swooped to the ground. "What?"
"Da Lady wants ta see ya, Miss!" the goblin spouted, as though desperate t get out the words before they escaped his brain. "Not just you, Miss! Yer boyfriend too, Miss!"
The empath sighed, astonished that this thing had managed to annoy her even faster than either Beast Boy or its pet. "Call me Raven, and don't do it every sentence. Who are you, anyway?"
The goblin puffed up what chest it had and said proudly, "I'm Squee! Top guy in cave! Lady's right-hand goblin! Lady made Squee immortal, 'cuz everyone likes ta kill Squee after I gives 'em orders. Ya can kill me after this if ya want, Miss Raven."
"Tempting as that sounds, I'll pass. So how do we get to Beast Boy?" Noting the more-clueless-than-usual expression on Squee, she clarified. "My boyfriend?"
"No problem, Miss Raven! Everybody listen ta Squee!" With that, he strode through the packed crowd of dwarves, followed by the scattered camps of all species, providing a wake for Raven and pausing only once or twice to magically recuperate from an axe to the head.
Along the way, Raven asked a question that had been niggling her. "Who is the Lady?"
Squee stopped and turned in shock. "Everyone knows da Lady! She's da one who made us! She's da boss, in charge a' da whole show!"
It clicked for Raven. "The Mox Ruby?"
Squee resumed pressing through the crowd, which had become packed dwarf once more. "She likes ta be called da Lady. Ya know why." He stopped, pushed a dwarf aside, and was rewarded with a jet of magma to the face.
Raven could see the spectacle over the scalded goblin. Two gigantic entities were repeatedly charging one another, spraying lava on each other and everywhere else. However, that all became background when she realized a very important detail: One of the creatures was green. "BEAST BOY!" she called. The green monster turned, and its distraction gave the red and blue one an opening to strike with its forepaw. The empath watched horrified as the green beast, changing in midair to a familiar shapeshifter, sailed through the air.
"I got 'im!" cried a newly healed Squee. Climbing atop the forest of dwarven helmets, the goblin dashed across the irritated warriors to make a diving catch. Since Beast Boy, even in human form, was significantly heavier than even the best-fed goblin, this resulted in a bodypile consisting of Beast Boy, Squee, and several very irritated dwarves.
By the time Raven was able to squeeze, hover, and glare her way to the landing site, Beast Boy was sitting up, watching in horrified fascination as minced goblin flesh and fabric reassembled itself into Squee. Noticing the empath's entrance, the shapeshifter lit up. "Raven!" he cried happily, and hugged her, creating a hint of smile on her lips. Releasing her, Beast Boy assumed a more serious expression and asked Raven, "OK, three things: Who's the living jigsaw puzzle, where's everyone else, and what happened to the giant oozing-lava thing?"
"Squee can answer!" cried the self-important goblin. "Squee is immortal, 'cuz da Lady made Squee her messenger and when Squee gives orders, everyone wants ta kill Squee."
"The Lady?" Beast Boy asked.
"The Ruby," clarified Raven.
"As Squee was saying," huffed their guide. "Yer friends are OK. De Lady don't want 'em ta die. And big ol' lava thing got sent back to sleep by Lady 'cuz Squee found green guy. And now that Squee gots green guy and Miss Raven, we all go to see da Lady!" With that, the goblin pressed through the crowd once more, apparently towards the Mox Ruby.
As the two Titans followed the overdressed goblin, Beast Boy muttered, "How come you're 'Miss Raven' and I'm 'green guy'?"
"Because," Raven responded, "the Ruby probably knows what would happen if it disrespected me. You it isn't too worried about."
Beast Boy humphed, but good naturedly. "At least we're all safe."
"Quit flirtin' and follow Squee!" called their guide. Blushing slightly, both teens quickened their pace.
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The site of Terra's petrification had remained unchanged. The plaque left there by the Titans was still in place, the igneous stone from the barely averted eruption still laid there, undisturbed. Even Terra's statue had the same expression of determination, laced with fear. The only noticeable difference was that a red glow was emanating from Terra's chest.
Bowing, Squee declared, "Da Lady," and exited. Beast Boy and Raven entered hesitantly, both suddenly recalling light and dark times with their calcified companion.
As the two came to the podium Terra's body stood apon, the glow from her chest intensified. Red lines of energy snaked across the stone body, tracing out joints and chi lines. Terra's eyes filled with a crimson glow, and her body sat down in lotus position. "Hello Raven, Beast Boy." It was her voice.
Beast Boy was wide-eyed. Tears were forming, and his heart ached. "Terra…" he whispered. Raven looked at him, insecurity permeating her own heart.
"Beast Boy," snapped the statue, "I am not Terra. This is her body, her voice, but it is not her soul."
"Where-" began the shapeshifter.
"Do you know if she believed in reincarnation?" asked the Ruby. Beast Boy shrugged. "Well, reincarnation believes in her." The statue turned to Raven. "You wish to extract me, yes?"
"O-of course," stuttered Raven, who was still a little shocked. "But why?"
"Why what?"
"Why are you making this so easy after all that resistance? If you were going to give yourself up, why bother with the army, the individual fights? Why send your lackey to make sure only Beast Boy and I got here?"
"Oh, that," the Ruby said casually.
"Yeah," replied the changeling, finding solace in sarcasm, "that."
"Where to begin? Ever since you entered this world, Raven, I've known about you. Don't forget, the chakra you wear is my Azarathi cousin. I've watched as you've developed friendships, fought evil within and without, even confronted the most intimidating force you've known in your life, your father. Every episode, I've been watching. I couldn't help but notice your growing favoring of Beast Boy, in and out of combat. After the Malchior incident, after Terra, it seemed to make perfect sense: You two perfectly compliment each other."
"Besides sounding vaguely creepy, how is this answering my questions?"
"I'm getting to that. As you know, I contain and command red magic, the magic of emotion, of passion. When Pentagram gave you the Mox Scroll, I knew you'd come for me eventually, so I began to plan. I'd been inside Terra even since she was petrified, drawn by the immense geokinetic power she used in her final moments. From here, I could create a stronghold that could withstand and waylay the other Titans, ensuring that you two would arrive in my chamber and no others. And then, my plan could come to fruition."
Raven frowned skeptically, "Whar does that entail?"
The statue stood once more. "The destruction of those who broke you hearts. I knew Raven would have to destroy Malchior's tome to get the Mox Jet. Now the same thing must take place."
Raven's eyes widened. "I have to destroy Terra's statue?"
Beast Boy turned to Raven, his face bearing a horrified look. "No," he said, "I do."
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Bum, bum, BUM! That's right, folks! Squee and Terra in one chapter! And they said it couldn't be done! Anyway, you have one last chance to name each Titan's personal red foe, though I made it kind of obvious in a few cases. Review for cybermuffins, for fun, or for great justice.
(I thought I said no more All Your Base references! Who put that in there?)