Wow, talk about ask and ye shall receive! Not only did you guys offer a massive number of guesses as to the oddity of the fifth reading, you managed to push Mox Quest into triple digits of reviews! Sadly, (though it does mean I'm not becoming predictable,) no one managed to correctly guess what the twist was. Well, you'll be able to see it in here. I hope you enjoy!

DISCLAIMER: I do not own Teen Titans, Magic: the Gathering, Dragonball Z, or tofu bacon. I do like to call the lattermost facon. (Pronounced fake-un)

CAUTIONNUMEROUSREFERENCESAHEADCAUTIONNUMEROUSREFERENCESAHEAD

Raven spread the Mox Scroll, and placed the Ruby on its illustrated twin. The farthest right portion of the scroll erupted with verdant light as the war runes among the pictured Ruby faded to mere blood red. The green energy spread across the arcane material, but something was odd about what it was forming.

Her confusion must have shown on her face, because Cyborg looked over her shoulder while asking, "What's wrong?" He soon found out. "This isn't writing, is it?"

"If it is," she replied, "it's the most bizarre language I've ever seen."

Beast Boy was borne by curiosity to the scroll. "What's the matter."

Cyborg and Raven traded a nervous glance. "Er," the empath managed, "maybe you shouldn't look at this, Beast Boy."

The changeling's ears drooped. "Aww, now I have to." With that, he grabbed the scroll at a speed he usually reserved for the TV remote, and browsed it, starting from the left. "Got it, got it, got it," he muttered, "got it, that just leaves…uh…" His eyes rolled up into their sockets, he started to sway, and the drool was already pouring out of his mouth: All the signs that Beast Boy had been hypnotized were in place.

Cyborg shrugged. "Can't say you didn't warn 'im."

Raven nodded sadly, looking at the green hypnospiral that had formed around the illustration of an octagonal gem held in a stylized beast's-mouth frame. "We know how easy he is to hypnotize. Mad Mod demonstrated that more than enough times." She sighed. "So, what puerile amusement are we going to have to pull to break him out of it this time?"

None.

The telepath turned to the mechanoman. "You heard that, right?"

His face bore the same uneasy look. "I was kind of hoping you hadn't." The voice was better described in the plural. It seemed as though a billion throats were speaking as one, and that not all of them had been supplied with proper vocal cords, or in some cases, tongues. Determining their source wasn't easy. It sounded as though the voices bombarded their ears from all angles.

Hark me, seeker of the Mox of life.

Raven realized where the chorus was coming from. "Beast Boy?" She hurried to the prone changeling's side. His eyes were glowing greener than envy personified. His mouth opened anew:

The fifth and final

The closing step

Until you may feel

Rage, blues, and pep.

This body's homeland

Magnigoth grown

Among many, the Emerald

Awaits you, alone.

With that, the glow left Beast Boy's eyes, and said orbs rotated back to their usual positions. Blinking, Beast Boy resumed his rundown of the Moxen as if uninterrupted, "this one- Hey, wait a minute!" The green teen stood, turned to his friends, and said sadly, "I got hypnotized again, didn't I?" They nodded, and he sighed. "I'll go get the paper towels."

"Actually, you didn't drool that much," Raven told him.

"What did I do then, a Silky impression?"

"Actually, you recited the poem we needed to find the Mox Emerald."

"Oh." He paused for a moment to allow this to sink in. "Sweet! Where to?"

She frowned. "I'm afraid only you know. It said the Mox was in your homeland, and something about 'magnigoths.'"

"Oh," repeated Beast Boy, but this one carried much more weight than its predecessor. "I see." His body suddenly oozed seriousness.

"Is everything alright, Beast Boy?" Raven asked with concern.

"I was hoping I'd never have to go back there," he muttered darkly. He took a deep breath. "OK, let's go."

"Where to?"

"Have you ever heard of a country called Lamumba?"

WITHSTARFIREANDROBINWITHSTARFIREANDROBINWITHSTARFIREANDROBIN

Starfire streaked through the early morning air, her newly requited love giving her enough propulsive joy to circumnavigate the galaxy. Fortunately for her human passenger, her destination was the Jump Megamall, home of all things commercial. Still, she was moving fast enough to send Robin's lips flying back, and for early-rising bugs to come to a sudden halt in the Boy Wonder's teeth.

"Str…fi…r…" groaned the teen, struggling against wind sheer and the insectivorous perils of opening his mouth.

The alien came to a merciful stop, turning to her beloved. "What is it, o most adored Robin?"

He caught his breath and waited until he could distinguish between individual heartbeats before responding. "The mall probably isn't even open this early Star. And could y-"

She interrupted his request for easier flight. "Oh, you are likely correct. Besides, we shall have plentitudes of time now that we are," she giggled shyly, "outgoing."

"That's going ouuuuuuuuu!" Robin's correction was transformed into a scream as his object of affection rocketed back to the Tower. A tiny core of unshakability, deep in Robin's terrified psyche, thought to itself, At least I haven't brushed my teeth yet.

BACKINTHEMAINROOMBACKINTHEMAINROOMBACKINTHEMAINROOM

"I see." Raven's voice came out small and awed. Beast Boy, at the others' encouragement, had explained the fates of his parents as well as his birthplace. It was understandable that he would hide something like that from the others. She herself hadn't laid bare her inner demons (she never did like that term,) until she deemed it absolutely necessary.

"Man," Cyborg was, if anything, further astonished. For the most part, he only saw the bright, goofy face Beast Boy put out to the world. "BB, I'm so sorry for making you tell us that. I never imagined…"

"It's fine." The changeling looked even more solemn than during Terra's betrayal. "Some things don't heal until you tell someone about them. My parents are in a better place now." He lifted his head to face the others, giving a smile. It wasn't his usual fangy beam, but a sincere, subdued smile; the kind Raven rewarded a lucky few with. "Let's get going."

"Oh no," boomed the robotic hero, moving to the oven. "After a story like that, we're all gonna need a good breakfast."

Raven was moderately astonished. "You can think of food after hearing that."

Donning his chef's hat and apron, Cyborg smiled and replied without taking his eyes off the stovetop, "With all your herbal tea, Rae, I'd think you'd be the first person to agree with me about the therapeutic powers of food."

"He's got a point," the shapeshifter concurred. He then realized his position relative to those of Cyborg and the cooking foodstuffs. "Hey! You'd better not-"

"Relax, BB. You reveal a secret from the depths of your soul, I cook tofu. It's only fair." Cyborg turned from breakfast with a look of utmost severity. "Just remember: It's a one-to-one exchange. This is all the soy that story's getting' out of me."

The green one's witty retort was cut short by the doors opening. Starfire and Robin entered the main room. The alien saw Cyborg's culinary activities and broke into an ecstatic grin. "Glorious! Friends Beast Boy and Cyborg have compromised and have agreed to prepare both the animal and soy proteins for our morning meal!"

"Just. This. Once." repeated Cyborg, emphasizing every word.

"Starfire," noted Raven, "the whole 'holding hands' thing is sweet and all, but you do realize Robin is unconscious, right?"

"Hmm?" Starfire finally looked down her arm. The hand holding hers was white, it's grip tighter than a vise. The rest of Robin's body was totally limp, and during the final moments of the Tamaranean's return flight, he had probably flopped about like a kite's tail. "Oh no!" Star cried despondently, "Have I broken beloved Robin?"

Raven sighed, but benevolently. "Just lay him on the couch and I'll see what I can do."

BREAKFASTISSERVEDBREAKFASTISSERVEDBREAKFASTISSERVEDBREAKFASTISSERVED

After several minutes of cooking and emergency mystical resuscitation, all five Titans were enjoying the most important meal of the day. Cyborg, true to his word, had prepared tofu, but only that which imitated animal products. Fortunately, Beast Boy was more than happy to chow on soy eggs and tofu bacon. Even Robin was up and eating, though he still flinched whenever someone made a sudden movement, resulting in several demonstrations of the ballistic properties of pork and cutlery.

After she got Robin a new fork to replace the one now embedded in a wall, Starfire turned to the vegetarian. "Friend Beast Boy, though you have willingly sampled a number of my homeworld's delicacies, I have yet to try food made from the beans of soy. Please, might I try a strip of your bacon-shaped tofu?"

"Sure, Star," replied a smiling shapeshifter, "always happy to share the soy."
The alien sampled the strip of not-meat, despite Cyborg's frantic head shakings. She grimaced, and swallowed with visible effort. Smiling uncertainly, she euphemized, "Thank you friend, but perhaps it is best if I refrain from further consumption of such…products." She quickly added, "Only, of course, so you may enjoy as many of them as possible!"

"Y'know, Star," said Cyborg, "there is a way to turn that strip of nastiness into honest-to-goodness bacon."

"Truly?" she cried ebulliently. Apprehensively clearing her throat, she spoke more moderately, "That is to say, is there such a method? I ask only out of curiosity and not at all out of revulsion towards the taste of this…unbacon."

"Of course," said the grinning cyberteen. Turning to Raven, he said, "Yo, Rae. You wanna whip out the Ruby again?"

"Couldn't she just give back the tofu bacon?" asked the empath.

"No!" Starfire insisted, "It is among the greatest insults on Tamaran to return offered or requested food after accepting it. To do so would be suitable grounds for a duel to the death to restore the honor of both parties!"

Sweatdropping nervously, Beast Boy told Raven, "Feel free to meat-ify Star's bacon any time now."

Raven was as unnerved as the changeling. "Maybe it would be best if Starfire does it herself…" She handed the alien the Mox Ruby, instructing her, "Just point it at the bacon and think 'Be meat.'" The empath ignored the expressions of the boys as she outlined the surprisingly simple method.

However, as soon as the gem of chaos and passion touched the warrior princess, energy began to course between the two. "This," intoned Starfire, echoes of volcanic eruptions and meteor impacts audible beneath her voice, "should be put to better use than improving the flavor of unpleasant fare." With that, she applied the Ruby to her choker armor, on top of the green gem in its center. A flash of heat later, the jewel was fused to the girl's uniform.

Upon this fusion, a red aura of power began to flow around Starfire, energy moving from the tips of her feet to the top of her head. Screaming, she increased the energy flow exponentially, and caused her hair to stand on end. The power bleached this mane, making the Tamaranean resemble a svelte, blonde Bride of Frankenstein. "This is like the Jewel of Char'ta," she boomed, "but I feel even more power with it than I did then!"

The other Titans were too stunned by Starfire's sudden transformation from cheerful tofu-phobe to crackling tower of ferocity to do anything for a moment. Beast Boy was the first to say something: "Star's become a Super Saiyan!" Indeed, the palpable energy field and spiky blonde coif made her resemble the overmuscled protagonists of a certain popular anime series.

"Worse," said a wide-eyed Robin, "a Super Tamaranean."

"This power," crowed the newly enhanced alien, "it is wondrous!" With that, she flew out of the windows, melting a hole through them with the apparently superheated aura around her.

"We have to stop her!" Raven exclaimed. (Well, exclaimed for her.)

"No," Cyborg said flatly. "You and BB have to get the last Mox. Robin and I can handle Super Star."

"Right," Robin agreed. After a moment's pause, he asked in a most unleaderlike way, "We can?"

"You can with these," Raven said. With that, she pulled the Mox Pearl and Sapphire from the ever-convenient secret pockets in her cloak. Putting them on the table, she elaborated, "Use them only as a last resort, and make sure you maintain mental superiority. Remember, you're heroes, not mindless automatons of these gems."

The two nodded. Cyborg tossed the keys to the T-Car to Beast Boy. "Here. I was gonna escort you two, but we have an alien to stop." He considered something for a moment. "Again."

"Sweet!" cried the changeling, "I finally get to drive the T-Car!"

"No, Raven does. She knows my baby inside and out."

Raven snatched the keys from the deflated changeling, commanded, "Come on," and dashed for the garage. Beast Boy quickly followed suit.

Robin and Cyborg nodded at one another. The leader pointed an authoritative finger at the circle of cooling molten glass and cried, "Titans, GO!"

ENDCHAPTERTWENTYFIVEENDCHAPTERTWENTYFIVEENDCHAPTERTWENTYFIVE

I felt I owed you guys I climactic battle against the Mox Ruby itself, rather than just its forces. Besides, I needed an excuse to get BB and Rae alone together. (That was oxymoronic.) Aside from fluff, you'll see why soon enough. Now press the pretty button and tell me what you think, and your opinion towards soy-derived pseudomeat.