Disclaimer: You honestly expect me to come up with something funny and/or witty every time/sigh/
Chapter 6: The Man and the Serpent
Beckett was belly dancing down the road one day, when a cannibal happened to see him. Said cannibal shot said Beckett with a poisoned dart.
With a strangled, "Grawwwwk!" Beckett fell to the ground, dead.
Mr. Mercer soon came along, and noticing his dead friend/master/lover, he picked up a nearby axe, chased the cannibal and cut off the cannibal's ponytail.
So, in revenge, the cannibal at the mapmaker, which made Mercer very sad, for he was also having a relationship with the mapmaker.
"Hah!" said the cannibal, before running back to his smelly cannibal cave of cannibalistic cannibalism.
My. Mercer randomly decided to be nice, and brought a peace offering of food and honey to the mouth of the cannibal's lair.
"I've decided to forgive you. Who knows? Beckett may have deserved it. Wanna be friends, now that we've both messed up each other's lives?"
The cannibal, liking neither food, honey, nor Mr. Mercer, threw the peace offering right in Mr. Mercer's face and stalked back into his cave.
Mr. Mercer, smiling thinly and wiping honey off his face, the cannibal's actions to mean, "No, no. Take away your gifts, kind friend, for you can never forget your lover's death, nor I the loss of my ponytail."
Whistling, he ran off to Tortuga to find another "friend".
Injuries may be forgiven, but not forgotten.