From Heathen to Hero 2
Disclaimers I don't own Kono Suba, and more so I'm filled with anticipation with how the light novel is going to end, cause that means they have no choice but to turn back and adapt the whole series because we the fans want it, just as soon as this whole virus is over.
In the following weeks since Kazuma and Aqua left their initial journey to roam the long vacant highway roads of Hell, it was anything but comforting for the duo.
Every so often when trying to take a moments rest, Kazuma and Aqua seemed to instantly get jumped by demi-demons over the purpose of killing them for recognition and power over Hell.
It had soon came to the point that the duo have chosen to stay in their vehicle or the next one the claim since staying at a hotel or even setting up camp on the road was but a mistake.
Speaking of, while Hell was essentially a fiery wasteland, it did have and offered places that are accommodating to the current modern day 21st century.
Examples besides cars and weapons would be stuff like gas stations, fast food restaurants, radio station that played selected genres of rock and metal music.
While it gave Kazuma and Aqua a sense of comfort that the lands Truxasko had offered these accommodations, the fact they were constantly persecuted was anything but comforting.
Right now the duo were driving up to a local gas station, as their car was soon replaced with 1950's style Ford Pick-up, though it was rusty and lined with bullets holes, scratches, and an axe on the right side of the vehicle.
"Phew, that was a close one" side Kazuma as he parked the truck next to a gas pump as his face and clothes were covered in blood.
"I can't believe after all that killing we only left with only 100 Hell Caps" Aqua said as she held the currency and name of what's used in Hell.
"It's fine, besides we made it out alive, and the gas and food here is pretty cheap" said Kazuma as he notice a gas attendant stepped outside of the station.
In spite of the inhabitants being demi-demons wanting to kill Aqua and Kazuma, they quickly learned that those working or on the job seemed to very strongly abstain from killing them, which was another thing that eased their mind.
"How much would you" asked the demi-demon with a ravenous growl, "Fill her up about 2 gallons" said Kazuma as he payed the attendant 10 Caps.
"Aqua, I'm going inside to see if I can find us a map and some food, you want anything in particular" asked Kazuma, "Some sweet bubbly and chips would be nice" said Aqua as she always kept a sharp on demi-demons, even those working.
"Soda and chips, got it" said Kazuma as he knew better to let her be drunk, while he's driving, since she had a drunk fit that nearly killed them in a car crash and her puking within the passenger seat.
"You know what I meant" said Aqua angrily as Kazuma waved her off dismissively.
Once inside he saw a demon the register reading Hell's version of girlie magazines as he looked up and acknowledged Kazuma's existence.
Picking himself up some soda, chips, energy drinks, little powdered doughnuts, a lighter and a map, Kazuma managed to carry all that at the counter.
"Anything else" asked the demi-demon as he put down his magazine, "Yeah, you wouldn't happen to have a map and a compass would you" asked Kazuma.
"Maps we actually do have, compasses is something we don't sell any more" explained the demi-demon as he spoke in a manner that was just as the same as the attendant outside.
"Alright good to know" sighed Kazuma as the demi-demon as he began to charge the items before him, "Anything else" the demi-demon asked.
"Yeah, I'll take about 4 corndogs and about 2 burritos, and a some directions" said Kazuma as the demi-demon began to multitask.
"Where are you heading" asked the demi-demon as he began to lay out the map, "West, specifically towards the Vey Aria" said Kazuma as the demi-demon began to guide his finger.
"Keep heading where you and your girlfriend are driving, you'll eventually enter a city called Barbed Thorn, it has to main highways, one of which is Route 66, the other Highway 43-I" explained the demi-demon as he made it easy for Kazuma to follow.
"Be sure to head southwest when entering the city, and it'll lead you to Route 66 a lot quicker" said the demi-demon, "Thank you, so how much do I owe you" asked Kazuma.
"56 Caps even" said the demi-demon as Kazuma payed for his products, before heading back outside to where Aqua was still sitting in their truck.
"Where's the gas attendant" asked Kazuma as he didn't see the other demi-demon that was filling their truck.
"He went around the corner of the gas station over" Aqua said innocently as Kazuma had to bop her on the head a few times since she did kill a few of these workers.
"If that's the truth let's go" said Kazuma as he handed Aqua the bag of goods, "Where's the beer" asked Aqua as she glared at Kazuma as he began to start the truck.
"Didn't had any" lied Kazuma with a straight face, "You liar, they probably did didn't they" cried Aqua as they began to drive off into the open road.
Ignoring her 2 minutes of crying, Aqua was soon satisfied as she drank her soda and ate her chips as Kazuma kept one hand on the wheel and the other on one of the corndogs he bought.
"Hey Kazuma, you ever wonder what happened to Megumin or Darkness" asked Aqua out of the random.
Truth of the matter, he actually didn't, maybe for a brief minute, but since his arrival in Hell, his mind was mainly on survival and keeping him and Aqua safe.
"No" simply stated Kazuma as this left Aqua surprised given how Kazuma always had thought about the girls, even in a none lustful manner.
"Kazuma, up ahead" pointed out Aqua as they saw 2 vehicles with demons driving alongside, ready to have a death derby, with major emphasis on the word death.
"Shit get ready" said Kazuma as he took out the single action army revolver, as Aqua began to lift her double barrel.
Focusing to take on one driver at a time, Kazuma always first set his sights to aim on his right where he could anyone on top of the vehicles roof ready to do some damage to their vehicle.
Not wasting any time, Kazuma laid 2 chest shots into a demi-demons chest, as they drove close enough for Aqua to finish the job as she blew the head off driver with her shotgun.
Meanwhile on the Kazuma's left, a demi-demon jumped on his side of the window, but Kazuma made quick work when he elbowed him, before pressing the barrel of his against his head before pulling the trigger.
Ready to finish off the driver, the passenger had took a bat slammed it on Kazuma's hand causing him to drop his revolver.
"Shit" hissed Kazuma as he retracted back his before the same demi-demon smashed in Kazuma's window.
"I'll be taking that" said Kazuma as he nabbed Aqua's pistol, and landed 2 shots on his assailant.
"Aqua, finish the damn job already" said Kazuma, "I'm out of bullets for my gun" said Aqua as she emptied out the shells to her shotgun.
Desperate for their survival, Kazuma slammed the breaks to their truck, as the demi-demon driver kept driving on, before Kazuma went to slam his foot on the acceleration and smashed his truck against the scrapped vehicle.
"Lucky, neither of our duo sustained damaged, nor did their truck as Kazuma hit the brakes and park it.
"Sit tight, I'm gonna finish this" said Kazuma as he went and reloaded Aqua's pistol and took it for himself.
The driver himself, began to charge out of the vehicle armed with a hatchet, but Kazuma didn't seem to falter as he laid 2 body shots into the demi-demon as he brought him to the ground.
Instantly, he began to not only bleed blood, but some money for their troubles, before going over to the passenger and collecting money from his corpse as he began to search their car.
"Hey Kazuma, hurry up" shouted Aqua as she stuck her head outside the window, "Keep your shirt on, I'm almost done here" said Kazuma as he made sure to grab the hatchet, just in case.
"So any good loot" asked Aqua, "We're about 30 Caps richer, along with now owners to another cheap bottle of liquor sold on planes and a hatchet" explained Kazuma.
"Beggars can't be choosers" Aqua said as she tried to pocket the bottle for herself, but Kazuma already tucked it in his trousers.
"Sigh, tell me Aqua, besides your now empty shotgun, how much ammo do we have now" asked Kazuma, "Well we got about 11 bullets to the revolver you lost, your assault rifle has been empty, and I still got 32 bullets left for my pistol" explained Aqua.
Letting out a sigh of frustration, Kazuma had dread the day should they be at a disadvantage, and this is in spite of the fact that Monet had gifted him with some of his power.
Taking out the map, and tracing back from their recent pit stop at the gas station, Kazuma had planned to always skip towns and cities, no matter how big or small since they were usually a pit with countless demi-demons.
But since he was desperate, Kazuma knew he had to risk it when they entered Barbed Thorn.
"What are you thinking Kazuma" asked Aqua as he began to point at their next big stop, "We going to need to make a pit stop in this city here" said Kazuma.
"Hold on, didn't we agree to always just keep driving when we enter towns or cities" said Aqua, "I know, but chances are that we have a chance to find a gun shop since we're not gonna be able to survive the road with what we have" explained Kazuma.
Aqua could only pout as she knew as much as Kazuma that any chances with them running into demi-demons with guns, which they have, was going to be a difficult challenge.
"Alright, with that said, let's get this show on the road" said Kazuma as he began to drive them to Barbed Thorn.
Time Skip
It was different upon entering the city limits, since to their assumption, Hell was anything but decent weather, especially given how it's a frozen wonderland that has affected the populace as the demi-demons had froze still from the cold, while everyday business was running as normal.
"What's going on here" asked Aqua as she was surprise to see it snowing in Hell, more so that the demi-demon population remained stationary from the cold that they wouldn't attack them.
"I don't know, nor do I want to stick around to know why" said Kazuma as he drove down the roads as he kept his eyes peeled for any local businesses that could be proven useful to them.
"Keep your eyes peeled for anything like a gun shop or a sporting goods store" said Kazuma as Aqua didn't need to be told twice.
"Hey Kazuma, over there" said Aqua as she pointed at a place that did sold fire arms, as Kazuma began to park their way in front of the store.
Grabbing their arms, Kazuma and Aqua made it inside where they saw the store owner freezing.
"Hey close the damn door would you" shouted the demi-demon as they didn't need to be told twice as they obliged.
"Sorry we were wondering if we could buy some bullets, maybe sell our guns for something more practical" asked Kazuma as they approached the counter.
"Well what do you got to sell" asked the demi-demon, "These right here, and also this" Kazuma said as he laid his assault rifle, Aqua's shotgun and pistol, and the hatchet they had acquired.
"I can give you 1000 Caps for all of this, so the question is what do you guys want to buy" asked the demi-demon as there laid a fair amount of arms behind him, with their price tag next to them.
Always the practical businessman and buyer, Kazuma already knew what they needed.
"I'll take the gun right over there, and the shotgun over there and all the ammo you can give us with what remains" said Kazuma as the owner began to hand Kazuma a Colt .45 pistol and a Remington pump action shotgun, on top with 68 bullets for the handgun and about 41 for the shotgun.
"Pleasure doing business with you" said the demi-demon, "Come on Kazuma, let's got" said Aqua as she began to pocket her ammo and held her new gun.
"Hold on, I got some questions to ask like, why is it snowing here" asked Kazuma towards the gun owner.
"Apparently one of the Devils, I believe her name being Azay the Devil of Sloth, is currently taking this city as a place to rest" explained the demi-demon.
"Alright good to know, but what does her resting here have to do with the snow" asked Kazuma, "Apparently she's so adamant to get her 16 hours of beauty sleep that she will freeze whole areas and cities so she can get some peace and quiet" explained the demi-demon.
"Wait you said she sleeps for 16 hours, how much time do we have before she wakes up again" asked Kazuma as he was already planning to take advantage of the situation.
"If I'm counting down the time right, she'll be asleep for another 2 hours" said the demi-demon as Kazuma could only smile.
"Aqua let's go" said Kazuma as they stepped their way outside, "Jeez Kazuma, did you had to talk him up, especially in front of me" began to nag Aqua, but notice that Kazuma was approaching a demi-demon and used his pistol to crack them open given how they were frozen.
"What the hell are you doing" asked Aqua, "Didn't you hear, these demi-demons will be frozen for another 2 hours, and since this is the only way we'll be able to enter a city like this peacefully, and do some proper shopping, might as well kill some" said Kazuma.
As Kazuma continued to smash open another 10 demi-demons for the next 15 minutes, Aqua waited in the truck, before Kazuma returned back so they could shop around town.
In a span of an hour and a half, Kazuma had repeated this process numerous times as he bought things he figured what was essential, like medicine, canned food and a hot plate, some books based on the knowledge of Hell and how as a society it's been functioning for the past 70 years, and more importantly a cell phone.
Figuring how Monet seemed to be a great advantage with one, Kazuma wasted no expense in acquiring one on top of a car charger and portable charger.
"Ok, I think that's it, ready to go hit the road" asked Kazuma as Aqua was sitting in the truck reading a magazine on guns since it was either that or smut as those were the only magazines they offered in Hell.
"About time, I was seriously starting to freeze my ass off" said Aqua, "Honestly this where I say something snide and sarcastic, but honestly you're best sex appeal trait is the fact you have the best ass" admitted Kazuma as Aqua felt creeped out.
"You're a real pervert and a degenerate you know" said Aqua bluntly, "Best ass ever is all I'm saying" said Kazuma defensively as he began to start the truck and notice something.
The snow was beginning to melt, and it was melting fast, way faster than Kazuma had anticipated.
"Kazuma" said Aqua with fear being clear in her voice, "Buckle up, we're leaving now" said Kazuma as he began to punch it.
As they raced for exiting the city, Kazuma was dreading over how fast the demi-demons were thawing out, and were more than eager to kill them both.
Already just a mile away from the exit, Kazuma and Aqua were short pursued by demi-demons in their own cars and trucks as they began to shoot or throw things at them.
"Kazuma, what do we do" asked Aqua as she ducked and covered her head in fear, "As soon as we drive up on the bridge, I need you to cast me a flood so that these bastards won't be able to chase us" said Kazuma as his left side view window got destroyed.
Ready to commit to his plan, once they reached the top of the bridge, Aqua raised both arms as a large cloud of water appeared, before pouring Kazuma his desired flood.
"Good job Aqua, you deserve yourself that small bottle of hooch I got" said Kazuma proudly, "No way, I deserve the good stuff" said Aqua as she managed to convince Kazuma to buy 2 24 packs of beer.
Before they could argue, Aqua's instant waterfall began to freeze to their surprise.
"Aqua, I didn't know you do ice magic" said Kazuma who was rather impressed, "I don't this is clearly someone else" said Aqua as she was right when she spotted someone approaching them.
Walking on the new icy path that had buried frozen demi-demons, they saw a she devil with red skin, as she wore a white on blue dress as she carried herself gracefully.
Speaking of her grace, she had long blonde hair kept in a French braid as her icy blue eyes stared at the duo.
"Kazuma, why aren't you shooting" asked Aqua as Kazuma began to stand by Aqua, "I get the feeling she's on our side" said Kazuma before the she devil stopped only 10 feet away from them.
"So you must be the outsiders and wild cards the Monet mentioned, or at least how he put it" said the she devil with a graceful smile.
"Who are you" asked Kazuma, "My name Azay Ziesda, otherwise known as the Devil of Sloth" said Azay.
"I must say, I had a hard time believing that a human and a goddess to be trapped here in Hell, but after Monet spread the good word, I just had to make an effort into running into you both" said Azay as a band of stray demi-demons were charging behind her.
"Pardon me for a second" said Azay as she lifted her hand delivered not only a small gust of snow, but icicle shards at them, putting down the opposition.
"Now I won't take much of your time, so Kazuma would you be so kind as to come here" said Azay as Kazuma, a sucker for pretty ladies, hurriedly approached her.
"By the powers invest to me, as the Devil of Sloth, I hereby grant this man a portion of my power, and may it serve him on his journey" said Azay as she transferred some of her power on a ring that she presented to Kazuma.
"Here take it, whenever you and you friend here want to get a proper nights rest, use this and it'll give you a mile long radius to cover yourselves in snow for at least 8 hours once a day" explained Azay as she handed Kazuma the ring.
"Thanks, you have no idea how much this is gonna keep us sane" said Kazuma since he was starting to feel fatigued here and there.
"My pleasure, and so you know me and the other Devils will be rooting for you and your journey Kazuma" said Azay before turning back into Barbed Thorn.
"Wait, what are you gonna do" asked Kazuma, "I think I'm going to kill half the local populace in this town and the next town over, and call it a day from there" Azay sweetly.
While Kazuma has faced off the Demon Lords generals, with some of them being quite hot, to actually meet a devil who was a graceful and gentle like Eris, Kazuma was starting to wonder why he never made a deal with the devil even sooner.
"Hey Kazuma what's with that stupid look" asked Aqua bluntly as Kazuma had a light blush and was ready to drool.
"I've no idea what you're talking about" said Kazuma with a straight face, "If you think after befriending Devils like that is an excuse to start worshipping Satan and becoming a devil worshipper, than you got another thing coming" Aqua said ready to go into bitch mode.
"I'm much rather you become my follower or even that of that flat chested twerp Eris, but no way in hell or anywhere else for that matter am I going to stand by and let you convert yourself into a minion of Satan be it from that creepy smooth talking cowboy, or some she devil that's more flatter than Eris in all departments" ranted Aqua as Kazuma was losing his patience for her by the second.
As for Azay, she felt hurt from Aqua's hurtful comments that she began to whimper as she continued to press on and taking out the demi-demons in the city.
"Do you even here yourself, compared to everyone including Eris, Azay seemed genuinely nice and gracious compared to you and your ugly personality and habits, and at least she along with Monet were kind enough to help us when they could have killed us you ungrateful bitch goddess" yelled back Kazuma.
"Now hold on a minute" began to argue Aqua as Kazuma was crossing a line as Azay heard Kazuma's kind words which brought her to smile again.
"And another thing, your followers are just as if not more crazy and intolerable than you, compared to any other religion in the whole damn world, which also includes that crazy ass cult that died in a group suicide back in Jones Town USA, in fact the first thing I'm going to do as soon as we get out of this mess is to pledge my loyalty to Satan, and this is not to spite you, but because Hell would be a lot more better and enjoyable without you" Kazuma said angrily as he turned Aqua back into a blubbering, whimpering mess again.
"I can't believe you'd say something like that" said Aqua as she felt butt hurt once more while wrestling with Kazuma, which in turn got him to pull on her cheeks since that was the only way she would yield.
Later
Once getting back in their truck, Kazuma and Aqua made sure to put as many miles behind them before late in the night where they spent it eating small prepped salad and canned beans.
Waiting till she was completely passed out drunk and listening to some late night alternative rock on the radio, Kazuma activated the ring given to him by Azay and was really surprised how no demi-demons, even with guns or projectile based weapons, wouldn't dare to attack them, and just moved on.
Not ready to turn in, Kazuma was plagued with the thought as to what Aqua asked him earlier in regards to Darkness and Megumin.
Even then, it didn't matter how they thought of him and Aqua then and now, and as far as he knows, they're alive and well, and if they're lucky they may have put in money for him to not only get a proper funeral service, but possibly found a nice new group of friends that are willing to accept them for who they are, or at least break them into getting their act straight together.
Still, Kazuma knew he wasn't going to get a proper rest forever, and if society could see them right now, they'd be surprise as to how close and cuddly him and Aqua are sleeping, simply because even in a car, snow is cold and even with blankets it was still chilly.
So even if they were to consensually agree to the idea of spooning, both would deny and put up a straight face that they're truly not romantically involved.
Nope, cannot, will not, never will get turned on by her, thought Kazuma as he rested his head on Aqua's, while taking a whiff of her hair before passing out.
Alright I'm going to end things here, as always please make sure to fav and follow, while leaving me additional thoughts and opinions in the review section since that's always nice.
This has been your Humble Narrator Tobi Yaza. =3