From Heathen to Hero 4
Disclaimers I don't own Kono Suba, and this is the second to last chapter before this story goes into indefinite hiatus till further notice.
It was hard to put it into words, and truly it was for the surviving members of team Kazuma.
It happened after Kazuma had died in a comedic manner, that left both girls feeling guilty for so much as smirking, right after Aqua let out a hearty yell for all 3 of them.
And while Aqua was in the process attempting to revive Kazuma once more as always, things didn't go as expected as Aqua herself was caught in a magical diagram before her body slowly disappeared from sight to the duo.
With Aqua gone and Kazuma dead, the surviving duo returned back to the guild sad while spreading the most disheartening news the guild has heard.
In spite of his less appealing traits and actions in the past, both Kazuma and Aqua were remembered fondly not only those working in the guild, but the town as a whole where a mass funeral was held.
While the citizens were begrudging in giving Aqua a religious based funeral on the crazy axis cult, it none the less gave Kazuma, a man to their knowledge who had no true alignment, one hell of a send off.
Days would pass for the guild members before they all went out to do their jobs as adventurers do, while Darkness and Megumin took an additional few weeks to recover in the ever so vacant Satou Mansion.
Right now, Megumin was left staring blankly into the fire place with Chomosuke by her side to keep her comfort, knowing well how much Kazuma meant to her.
"Sigh, I really miss them girl" sighed Megumin as she gently petted her demon cat, as Chomosuke let out a gentle purr.
Soon the doors open, as it was Darkness coming back from her daily praying over the well being and mysterious whereabouts of Aqua.
"Hey" said Megumin, "Hey" said Darkness back as she sat her way over to the other couch.
Silence was all that filled the atmosphere as Darkness stared blankly into the ceiling and Megumin continuing what she was doing prior.
"So, how was praying" asked Megumin, "It was good, I actually got to ran into Chris" said Darkness.
"And how is she" asked Megumin, "She's good, a little sad what happened to Kazuma and Aqua, but she too also prays for their well being" said Darkness, "That's nice of her".
Another moment of silence came, before the sound of Megumin's stomach rumbled, getting Darkness' attention.
"I'll go make us some lunch" said Darkness as she got up, "There's no food here, we ran out last night" said Megumin as she and Darkness really did nothing but stayed home and ate.
"We should probably go out on a quest then" said Darkness as the word quest pained her, in spite of knowing well that their own well being would be put at risk if they continued to lounge around and mope.
Still going out felt too soon and reminded them of the good times they had with Kazuma.
"Let's try tomorrow, today is practically over" said Megumin as there was merit to her words.
"Very well, I shall go pick up some food and see if any allies would wish to accompany us on tomorrows quest" said Darkness before leaving Megumin alone in the place to empty to call home.
With Eris
She was the first to know, in fact she was trying to convince Kazuma otherwise that he was actually going to hell this time around since he has been anything but heroic lately.
Still she felt sad that Kazuma chose to not listen to her and go to hell, while also feeling bad for not looking into the contracted pack he made with Aqua that she too would be sent to Hell alongside with him.
While she was grateful to later discover that both are still alive and well, she was none the less felt concerned and powerless there was nothing in her power to do anything to help them in their situation.
There only means of salvation was for both Kazuma and Aqua to go meet up and talked to Satan himself as they survive and travel the realm of Hell.
While it was common knowledge and reason at this point as to why Eris herself or the other gods couldn't go, the reason she didn't send in people like Megumin or Darkness really stems for 2 reasons.
First of all both needed to die and have enough negative karma to be sent to Hell, but in spite of their own personal flaws, neither one of their actions were deemed worthy enough to be sent to Hell.
Otherwise they needed to make a deal with the devil himself, where the issues stems from them not only trying to be heroes to kill their worlds demon lord, but there's a nonexistent Satanic church or cult for that matter that worships the dark lord.
And even if they would do it for the selfless actions to join and partake in their adventures, the gods would consider it an act of betrayal and wouldn't grant them after salvation, in spite of their own hypocrisy of doing atrocious actions.
Speaking of it didn't help that neither the gods were are anything but helpful given Aqua's situation and some were either laughing at her or were glad she's been getting what she's deserved for a while.
Ignoring their rude comments, Eris was committed to watch over their actions from afar, while also paying a visit on the surviving members of team Kazuma and withholding any to all information in regards of what they could do, only for their own safety and well being.
Speaking of, she was back in her Chris body where she made her way to check on Darkness, who was trying to gather people for tomorrows quest.
"So good to see you again" said Chris as she came out of an alleyway as Darkness was walking around town, "Chris, it's good to see you again as well" said Darkness.
"I haven't seen you in this part of town in a while, so what you're up to" asked Chris, "I was actually looking for friends and allies who were interested in joining me and Megumin for our first quest tomorrow" explained Darkness.
"Well that's good to hear, in fact how about if I join you both tomorrow" said Chris with a smile, "That would be very generous of you" said Darkness, "Any chance I can join" came the familiar voice of Yunyun.
"Yunyun, I didn't know you were in town" said Darkness, "I just returned after informing the Crimson Demon village what had happened to Kazuma, and I wanted to check on Megumin as well" explained Yunyun.
Seeing how considerate their closest of friends were and willing in spite of the occasional mistreatment they received from them, Darkness couldn't be more happy.
"Come now let's all return home and enjoy ourselves a well deserved feast my friends" said Darkness as she lead them back to Satou Mansion to ready themselves for tomorrows quest.
In Hell
Things were anything but peaceful since crossing the border from Neo Az-Maya, since all demi-demons chose to discard modern weapons for handcrafted nightmares.
Examples would be baseball bats with broken glass taped on them, tossing wooden chair legs that were set on fire like if it was a damn tomahawk, and whips made up of wire, lug nuts, and bolts.
If that wasn't bad enough, they would occasionally attack them not on carious vehicles but Impalas with melted faces and razor sharp horns, bears that were twice as bigger than the average bear and roared loud enough to send people flying back.
This list goes on and on as it baffles over how much more insane their troubles are worth, but worst of all in Kazuma's opinion was the music on the radio.
While Truxasko offered a variety of stations of different genres of rock and metal nonstop, Neo Az-Maya offered only latin-pop, latin-rock, and banda music with occasional 3 hour music breaks for radio talk shows, in Spanish.
"For god sakes, Kazuma change the damn channel" said Aqua as they driving in a Jeta, with the back doors ripped off and all but the front view window being bashed in broken.
"You do know that there's nothing but, what do you call it, Mexican music on the radio, plus it's either this or listen to that stupid talk show host" said Kazuma as he found himself needing background noise in order to pass the time while driving.
"Just turn off the radio" said Aqua, "No, I need it to help me to concentrate while I drive" Kazuma said, "God Blow".
Surprising Kazuma as Aqua destroyed the cars radio, Kazuma began to swerve their vehicle before coming to a stop.
"Are you insane you stupid idiot goddess, we could've died" Kazuma said angrily, "And I was getting a head ache from listening to that crap, at least when we were in Truxasko I was able to understand what they were saying" said Aqua.
"Oh, and you understand English" scoffed Kazuma, "Hello~, haven't you realized that ever since were sent to Hell we've been speaking and reading nothing but in plain old English" argued Aqua.
"Well how the hell was I suppose to know that" said Kazuma, "It's like when I overloaded your brain to speak, read, and write the language from the world when we were adventurers, though I'll admit and say that when being sent to Hell, there's a 0% chance of any negative side affects when being sent here with an overload of knowledge" said Aqua.
"Oh, another reason why I'm starting to like Hell a little more, thank you Aqua" said Kazuma sarcastically as Aqua began to angrily pout and began to hit him.
"Stupid NEET, don't you dare even think about being a Satanist in the presence of a goddess like me" said Aqua, "I honestly give more about a rats ass than what you're feeling" said Kazuma as he began to pull on Aqua's cheeks.
Realizing they had no choice but to walk, Kazuma ad Aqua carried only their guns, bullets, a half filled gallon of water, and a saw tooth knife Kazuma recently invested in.
"So this whole time we've been speaking English" asked Kazuma, "Yup, pretty much" said Aqua as the roads here while hot, were not as hellish considering the bits of wild life, even if it was mainly cactus' of all kinds.
"Ok follow up to that, does that make me officially tri-lingual or what" asked Kazuma, "I honestly don't know, but I can say I found it more easier to speak in English amongst all the languages I've learned and speak" said Aqua.
"Huh, never figured you to be the linguistic type" said Kazuma as he was quite impressed, "Yeah it's kind of a mandatory thing when becoming a goddess, in fact we have to study both ancient and future languages for the sake of recruiting heroes" said Aqua.
"Really now" said Kazuma as he was both impressed and also miffed that she couldn't have mentioned about these applied skills back in Axel, but then this is Aqua, who had remembered that her healing powers can now extend from afar like a beam, almost like a certain medic from a certain F2P game.
Before they could continue on their discussion, Kazuma and Aqua soon spotted the arrival of a band of demi-demons riding demon impalas brandishing machetes, spears, wrist mounted nail guns.
"Try to aim for the legs of those beasts before the riders" said Kazuma as both took a stance to face the oppression, before the area was littered in bullet shells, dead demons, and dust.
Hey guys, just ending this chapter right here, I know I could've done more, but honestly I was going to do nothing but fill this chapter with needless fluff, which there was enough of in the intro, while also serving to answer the big question why I didn't include Darkness and Megumin to the story so far, or probably ever.
Like I said next chapter will be last chapter, but I think I'll be back to work on this in some time in the future for sure, since I don't like to leave long convoluted stories with its own lore and characters like this unfinished, can't say when though since I got motivated to work on my main fic once more, which is a Kono Suba Fallout: New Vegas crossover, which I will leave a link to it, or you could just click on my name and search it in my written stories library, so if any of you are interested feel free to give it a look, especially those who ship Aqua and Kazuma together.
Otherwise if you're liking the story so far, be sure to fav, follow, and leave a review as I enjoy hearing your guys' thoughts as much as I enjoy writing for you all.
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This has been your Humble Narrator Tobi Yaza. =3