"Rosho!" Xania exclaimed when I showed up at her house at seven sharp. "Glad you decided to come! I just ordered some pizza. Like pepperoni?"
"Yeah, that's fine," I said as she led me inside. "This is a nice place you got."
"Nice to know YOU like it," she said dryly. "'Cause I sure don't. Makes me feel like I'm living back in the Victorian era or somethin'. My mom has the weirdest tastes..."
I merely shrugged as I set my books down on the dining room table and sat down, cracking one of them open. I flipped to the chapter that I was supposed to read over, but before I could start reading, Xania walked out into the living room and turned on the stereo. I almost leaped a mile when the music suddenly blared in my ears. Geez, and I thought my neighbors cranked THEIR stereo, I thought sarcastically.
"What's the music for?" I asked.
"Helps me think," she said, grinning as she sat down next to me and opened her book. "Don't you listen to music when you study?"
"Well, I never really studied much," I said, grinning sheepishly. "'Cept when I studied with my friend at her house. But even then, we never listened to music while we studied."
"What's wrong?" she asked. "You look damn depressed."
"The friend I just mentioned...she was murdered recently."
"Oh!" She sighed and fidgeted in her seat, then leaned to me and gave me a hug. "Rosho, I'm sorry 'bout that. I didn't know."
"That's why I wasn't really planning to come here to begin with, but Irodia got me to come."
"Well, that's understandable," Xania said, noticeably looking uncomfortable. "So what happened to her?"
"...She got stabbed to death." I reached for the necklace around my neck and started twirling it around my finger. "The cops didn't even find her till five days afterwards."
"Aw shit," she said, sighing. "I dunno what I'd do if one of my friends got killed like that. Did they catch the bastard that killed her?"
"He got killed when he tried to escape," I lied, wiping a tear from my eye. Damn Boh...had it really only been a week since that battle on Genom Tower? Seemed so long ago now. And yet...I still had a few of the wounds from that battle, and I could still see that evil grin on Quincy's face as he revealed how he knew that Mom and I were the blue and purple Knight Sabers. I gazed at my right hand, and could almost still see the smoke that came from my beam cannon after I fired the fatal shot at Boh's head. Oh, how I wished I could do that again...it still seemed like he'd gotten off easy. But at least he lingered for a little while after the first shot, even if the second one left him dead in seconds.
"Earth to Rosho," I heard Xania say.
"Huh?" I looked up and saw her waving her hand in front of my face. "S-sorry."
"It's ok," she said. "She just died recently, so I guess you're thinking about it all the time. Hard to concentrate on damn near anything."
"Pretty much," I concurred.
We were interrupted when the front door was thrust open, followed by the sound of a guy's voice. "Yo, Xania!" I heard him call out.
"Hey!" she yelled back, jumping out of her seat. She ran out of the dining room to the front door, and when I followed, I saw her throw her arms around his neck. "What kept ya?"
"Aw, needed to fix up my car," he said. He turned to look at me and said, "Hey, who's your friend here?"
"This is Rosho," she said, gesturing to me. "She just got into town a few days ago. She's got the most awesome motorcycle!"
"That was YOURS?" he asked incredulously, staring at me in disbelief. I nodded shyly.
"Don't ogle it now," Xania teased. "Rosho beat up some sons of bitches after school for not leaving her bike alone."
"Heh, don't worry about me," he said, grinning at me. "I respect ladies and all their property."
"Yes, I know that," Xania quipped, getting a goofy grin on her face. "You respect EVERY little piece of property a girl has..."
I cleared my throat loudly and looked away, blushing. I really didn't need to hear this! "Aw gee, Rosho's hearing all this," she said, looking to me and grinning. "Sorry."
"I've heard worse," I groaned. "You never even introduced him."
"Oh!" She cleared her throat. "This is Greg."
"Hi," Greg said, waving to me.
"Rosho, mind if we go upstairs for a moment?" Xania asked.
"No, go ahead," I said, shaking my head. I think I know what they're gonna do, though, I thought dryly. "What if the pizza arrives while you're up there?"
"The money's on the kitchen table."
"Ok."
After Xania and Greg went upstairs, I heard the door to her bedroom click shut, then I sighed and walked back to the dining room table and sat down, reading over the chapter in my history book that the teacher wanted us to read. Of all times for Xania to bring her boyfriend over...ugh. Made me wish I could return to those peaceful nights of holing up in Michiko's room, helping her with her English while she in turn helped me with my math. Sure could use her help with those damn logarithms right now, I thought as I took out my math book and set it on the table to look at after I was done with the history assignment.
Even though the music from the stereo in the living room was cranked up, from upstairs, I could very distinctly hear a cry of pleasure. I grumbled and tried to ignore it as I tried to concentrate on reading my textbook. When I heard Xania cry out again, though, I stormed over to the stereo, and although my ears were almost bleeding from the noise as it was, I cranked the volume up a little higher. I had to plug my ears as I walked back to the dining room.
A short time later, I managed to hear the doorbell ring. I stood up and walked to the adjacent kitchen, snatched the money off the table, and turned down the stereo before heading to the front door. "Hi," I said to the delivery man.
"Hi there," he said. "$23.59, please."
"Here's twenty-five," I said, handing him the money.
He handed me the pizza box and said, "Have a good night."
"You too," I said as he walked down the walkway towards his car, shutting the door. As I set down the pizza on the kitchen table, I heard somebody walking down the stairs. I turned around and saw Greg heading towards the door. "Uh, pizza just arrived if you want any," I said, trying to keep a straight face.
"Oh, thanks!" he said, opening the box to grab a slice before dashing out the door. After he left, I sighed and walked up the stairs. From the room at the end of the hallway, I could hear some music playing. Must be Xania's room, I thought as I walked up to the door. I was about to knock when suddenly, the door swung open, and a hand grabbed me by the shirt and yanked me in.
"What?" I asked as Xania shut the door. I blushed like crazy when I realized that she was standing there in front of me totally naked. This was also the first time I'd ever seen her without her trademark shades on.
"Rosho..." she panted, a weary grin on her face. She ran her hand through her hair, which was even more messed up than it usually was.
"Ok, why'd you drag me in here?" I inquired, my face turning red.
Xania gently took my hand and placed it over her chest. I could feel her heart pounding like crazy. "This is what he did to me," she said, grinning. "He's gotta be one of the best I've ever had."
"Happy to hear that," I said dryly, pulling my hand away. "Er, pizza just arrived if you want any."
"Oh, great!" she exclaimed, jogging past me and to her bed, next to which was a heap of clothes. "Sex always leaves me hungry."
I groaned as I walked out of the room, closed the door behind me, and walked downstairs. I looked through the cabinets until I could find the one that had the plates in it, then I grabbed one and put two slices of pizza on it. I was almost finished eating the first one when Xania finally came skipping down the stairs. She grabbed a plate and two slices for herself, and sat down at the table next to me, eating as if nothing out of the ordinary had happened.
"Maybe I shouldn't have come," I mumbled to myself as I took a bite of my pizza.
"What do you mean?" Xania asked, her mouth full of pizza.
"If you were planning on doing that with your boyfriend here, why even bother inviting me over?"
"Honestly, I didn't think he was gonna show up. He's always so busy with other shit that we hardly ever get to hang out. But this was a pleasant surprise." She looked up from her pizza and gazed at me for a moment. "Damn, you look like you swallowed a frog. Never had sex with a guy or what?"
"To be honest, no."
"Really? A sexy, pretty girl like you is still a virgin? Get outta here."
"I'm serious. I've never even had a boyfriend."
"So, what, you're a lesbo?"
"NO! There were several rumors at my old school about my friend and me, though."
"Anything to feed those rumors?"
"We were really close. That's all there was to it. It's not like we made out in public or anything. We weren't lovers, we were just close buddies."
"Nothing wrong with a close female friendship," she said, shrugging. "I bet the guys were just jealous that they couldn't have you all to themselves."
"There was one guy who I guess you could've called the school pimp. He was always hitting on me and trying to get me to sleep with him. With as many times as I've probably beaten him up, I'd be surprised if he's still fertile."
Xania leaned back in her chair and laughed. "Now THAT I wish I'd seen!"
I finished off my second slice of pizza and stood up. "So, expecting any more 'guests' tonight?"
She grinned like a Cheshire cat. "Nope."
"That's a relief," I said, heaving a sigh. "I'm not used to hearing those kind of noises, that's all."
"Heh. Don't worry. Next time, I'll be sure to warn you ahead of time!"
Xania and I both snickered as we headed back to the dining room to finally buckle down and get some studying done. This was definitely different from what had happened at Michiko's place when she and I studied there. I guess this would be yet another thing to add to my list of Things To Get Used To. It almost made me wonder if I'd chosen the wrong person to make friends with, but I quickly dispelled that thought from my mind. I knew it was ridiculous to try and find someone who was just like Michiko; it would be impossible to find somebody like her. And besides, maybe that was a good thing, because I didn't want to replace her. Nobody could replace her.
Especially not Xania. But eventually she would get her own spot in my heart, but not the part of it which Michiko occupied. That spot would be forever taken up by the girl who had died to protect me.
-----
My first Sunday at my temporary home included a routine that would take me quite a while to get used to. Back home in Tokyo, on Sundays, I'd sleep in till almost noon, worn out from a Boomer battle or just being a typical sleepy, lazy teenager. But nooo, not here. Here, my Sundays would include yet another thing to add to my list of Things To Get Used To.
Church.
Blah.
"Rocío, are you awake?" I heard Irodia ask. I grudgingly opened my eyes and peered at the clock on my nightstand. It read 7:46 AM.
"Sorta. Why?" I inquired sleepily.
"We have to get ready for church. The service is at ten."
Damn, Xania was right when she said this family goes to church every Sunday, I groaned in my head as I sat up and ran my hand through my tangled hair. I let out a yawn, then fell back onto the bed and closed my eyes. Who was ever up before eight in the morning on Sundays anyway, besides Linna? Apparently, this family was.
"Gotta get up sometime," Irodia teased, abruptly pulling the sheets away from my body. I yelped in surprise and hugged myself, curling up in a ball.
"Hey!" I protested.
"Come on. Mikhaila's in the shower right now. You need to take one after she gets out."
"As long as she doesn't take up all the hot water," I groaned as I sat up and snatched my brush off of the nightstand.
"Do you have any nice clothes you can dress in?"
"If you mean dresses, then no. I think I have a pair of dress pants though."
"If you need a nice shirt, you can borrow one of mine." Irodia looked down at my leg and grew silent. I looked down and saw she was gazing at the scar.
"I don't need your pity," I said softly, looking up at her. "I've learned to walk again, and that's all that matters. I just gotta get back to doing my gymnastics stuff."
Irodia sat down on the bed and put a hand on my shoulder. "These past months...they must have been a living hell for you."
I nodded. "Sure seemed like it."
"Maybe you'll find solace in prayer and church, to help you find the strength to get through what you've been through recently."
"I don't know..." I mumbled. What god can there be, anyway? I thought. I prayed for Michiko's safe return, and look what He gave me in return for my prayers! What god would allow that?
"He giveth, and He taketh away," I heard Irodia say, as if she could read my mind.
"If that's so...then why was Michiko taken away?" I said, tears blurring my vision. "No...it wasn't God that took her...it was Boh. That damn Boh..."
"Don't waste your life hating him," Irodia said gently, her hand on mine. "I'm not asking you to do it today, but perhaps over time, you will learn to forgive him."
"Forgive him for what?" I asked, wiping away my tears. "He took my best friend away from me! How am I supposed to forgive him for that?"
I couldn't hold it in anymore. I started to cry right then and there, and accepted Irodia's hug of comfort. Look at me. I've become a twig, I thought as I cried. Anything that comes my way ends up breaking me in half. Whatever happened to the bend-but-not-break Yumeko that I used to be? I wish I could be more like Mom... But was that really what I wanted? I knew what Mom did with her feelings, even if she thought I couldn't see it. She'd keep up a strong front, to try and be strong for me. But I knew she was stuffing her feelings inside, and probably cried when I wasn't around. And it was funny to think of her like that – I'd rarely seen her cry with my own eyes.
"Yumeko," Irodia whispered, "I know you don't want to come to church with us, but just try it out this once, and see what you think. And if you don't like it, you don't have to come with us. Ok?"
"Are you sure?" I asked, looking up at her. She was the Christian advocate of this family, was she really serious about this?
"Yes, I'm sure. I can't make you heal any faster than you're able to. And I can't force you to find comfort in church. If you find it in music, or whatever, that's fine."
"I figure as long as I'm here, I may as well participate in these family activities," I said. "I mean, this is what 'normal' families do, right?"
"Not all," she admitted, smiling, "but many, yes. Oh, and if you're not comfortable with church, it may help you to know that afterwards, after we get changed back into more casual clothing, we usually pack a lunch and go to the park and relax for a while. That sound like fun?"
"Sure," I said, although her description of what we'd be doing after church almost seemed stereotypical. It almost seemed like a description of the 'perfect' family, although I knew there was no such thing. Church, followed by an afternoon at the park, followed by...what? Dinner at the dining room table, talking about 'normal' happenings?
Ugh. This wouldn't be the first time, or the last, that the thought crossed my mind that being 'normal' can be quite boring. I hoped that life over here wouldn't be so monotonous that I'd want to puke, just to stir things up a bit. But then again, I had Xania to help me keep things interesting. I could never tell what she was going to do next.
-----
After everyone got dressed in their Sunday best, we all piled into the car and headed to the church. I sighed and gazed out the window as I scratched my scalp. Despite my protests, Irodia had insisted that I put my hair up in a bun. I hated having my hair in a bun. I was more comfortable with my hair in a ponytail or loose braid. Damn, I'm becoming Mikhaila now, I thought. Worrying about my hair and shit...yeesh!
"You didn't bring a Bible?" Mikhaila asked, raising an eyebrow as I turned to look at her. I looked down and saw she was cradling hers in her lap.
"I don't own one. So sue me," I muttered, gazing out the window again.
"That's alright," Irodia said. "You can read off of mine if you want."
"Rocío," Tyler said as we turned onto another street, "have you ever been to a Baptist church?"
"Uh, I'm not really much of a churchgoer," I admitted. "Why?"
"Well, I know that most Mexicans are Roman Catholic. Catholic churches are all decked out in all their finery, but Baptist churches keep it simple. I hope you'll be able to adjust to it."
Assuming I'm a Mexican...I'm gonna strangle him, I thought, trying to keep a straight face. A church is a church, why's he describing it to me? Oh well...
After we pulled up into the parking lot of the church, I saw that although the service wasn't gonna start for another fifteen minutes, it was crammed full of cars. I turned towards the church and saw a steady stream of people filing into it. I sighed as we all got out of the car and headed inside.
"How long does a typical service last?" I asked Irodia.
"An hour, sometimes more," she replied.
"Oh, fun," I groaned. I hoped that maybe I'd fall asleep or something. I had a feeling this was going to remind me of one of those damn school lectures.
"Rosho!" I heard a familiar voice call out behind me. I turned around and saw a black-haired girl standing there, in a dark blue dress and black shoes, with her hair combed back.
"X...Xania?"
"Heh. Yeah," she said, grinning sheepishly.
"I almost didn't recognize you!"
"I know. You're used to seeing me with my shades, eh?"
"Not to mention with your hair sticking out in every direction."
"My mom makes me put mousse in it to keep it like this," she groaned, rolling her eyes.
"You look funny in a dress," I said, laughing. "And where's your tail?"
"It's wrapped around my hips, under the dress. My mom keeps going on and on about how she doesn't want people gawking at us because of me having a tail. It gets cramped after a while," she sighed. "Damn service hasn't begun, and it already hurts."
"I can imagine."
"Come now, we need to get inside," a frumpy-looking woman suddenly said, walking up to Xania.
"Uh, Mom, this is Rosho," Xania said, gesturing to me.
"Rosho?" The woman eyed me suspiciously.
"My real name is Rocío Monterrey," I said quickly, "but Xania calls me Rosho."
"You're the girl that's staying with Mikhaila, right?"
"Yes, I am." Why the hell is she eyeballing me like that? I thought as the woman continued to frown at me. "Xania's been helping me get around at school."
"Really?" She eyed Xania, as if she couldn't believe it. "Well, I hope you don't pick up on her habits. Assuming you don't already have habits similar to hers."
"W-what?"
"I know about you Mexican girls and your reputations. Always thinking you're better than anyone else, and holding back our educational system! Not to mention sleeping with anything that moves!"
"Excuse me, ma'am," I said dryly, trying to keep my temper in check, "but I am nothing like that. Just ask Irodia or Xania. They'll tell you." I winced when my stomach decided to start hurting.
"Oh, really?"
"Rosho's right," Xania said, very obviously pissed off. "She gets into fights, but as far as morals, she's still morally pure."
"Oh, thank you," I groaned sarcastically.
"Fights?" Xania's foster mom inquired. She noticed the cut near my hairline and said, "I suppose so, judging from that cut."
"Show her the scar on your leg, Rosho!" Xania encouraged.
"I'd rather not," I mumbled.
"What scar?" the woman inquired.
"Just from when my dad shot me a while back," I lied. "I came from a broken home, just like Xania did. So I don't think you're in the position to judge me on anything!"
She stood up straight, as if she'd been slapped. "Why, you arrogant little—"
"Bitch?" I finished. "That's what you were going to say, right? Go on and call me a bitch. You wouldn't be the first to call me that."
Xania was killing herself to keep herself from laughing out loud. But when a snicker escaped from her, her foster mom spun around on her. "Come now. The service is going to start. I'm not going to waste any more time on this girl, and neither are you." She grabbed Xania's hand and dragged her to her seat, Xania giving me a thumbs-up and a wink as she and her mom disappeared into the crowd.
"Whoa. I've never seen anyone talk to Xania's foster mom like that," Mikhaila remarked as she walked up next to me.
"I don't let anyone belittle me, and that goes for her too," I muttered under my breath.
"Well, the service is about to start," Irodia said, leading us to our seats. "And Rocío?"
"Yeah?"
"Keep your temper in check, ok?" She chuckled.
"I WAS keeping it in check. If I wasn't, she'd be in the hospital."
I heard Tyler let out a laugh behind me. "Feisty! Gotta love 'er for it!"
My only response was to let out a laugh myself as everyone sat down and waited for the minister to step up to the podium and deliver whatever sermon he decided to deliver. This whole church thing actually might work out, after all! The occasional brouhaha between me and Xania's mom would sure liven the whole experience up, that's for sure!
-----
After the service – during which I'd very nearly fallen asleep – we all went back to the house to change into some more comfortable clothes. I decided that I wasn't in the mood to put up with any remarks from Mikhaila regarding my scars, so I forwent wearing shorts and wore some jeans instead. And after letting my hair down and putting on a normal shirt, Irodia packed us all a lunch and we piled into the car again, and headed to the local park.
"It's nice here," I remarked, gazing around as I sat on the grass underneath a tree. Too bad there's no cherry blossom trees though, I thought. Otherwise Michiko would just love it here. I sighed at the thought of my best friend. I felt so guilty, being able to relax in the sunshine when she couldn't. I knew life went on, but...it still hurt so much.
"Rocío?" Irodia asked. "Are you ok?"
"Not really," I mumbled as I took the sandwich that she offered me. "Michiko would've loved this place, that's all..."
"Oh," she said, sighing. She wrapped one arm around me and gave me a squeeze. "It's all right."
"Who's Michiko?" Mikhaila inquired, biting into her sandwich.
"A friend of mine," I said, twirling her necklace around my finger. "You won't be meeting her."
"Aw, too bad," she groaned dryly.
I frowned and turned to look at a group of kids who were playing soccer on a nearby field. Oh, how I wished I could've been like them at this moment. Naïve, carefree, not having to worry about what the future held for them. I guess it's funny how when you're a kid, you just wanna grow up, but when you're grown up, you just wanna be a kid again, I thought as I watched them laugh and play. Want that independence, yet be free of responsibility. Kinda like how when I was little, I always imagined I was a Knight Saber, and when I got older, I actually became one. And now that all of this bullshit has gone on, I wish I could erase the events of the past five or six months. I wish I could...I wish I could go back to not having to worry about my life, not having to hide out like this...
"Rocío, your food is gonna get ants in it if you don't eat it," I heard Tyler laugh, snapping me out of my own little world.
"What? Oh," I said quickly, picking up my sandwich again.
"What's with you, anyway?" Mikhaila inquired, giving me the evil eye. "You sure zone out a lot. What's up with that?"
"None of your damn business," I snapped, shoving a forkful of macaroni salad in my mouth. "I'm sure you zone out too, while you're putting on that make-up. Probably imagining how many boyfriends you could've landed if you didn't have such a snobbish attitude."
"You..." she growled. "What about YOU? Have YOU ever had a boyfriend?"
"Nope," I said nonchalantly.
"Probably because you don't bother prettying yourself up," she said, snorting.
"I don't want a boyfriend anyway. I'm busy enough as it is, trying to adjust to living here, and not to mention to get myself back in shape."
"Shape? For what?"
"I'm a gymnast. And as soon as these damn wounds heal up..." I let my voice trail off, and I set my plate down and stood up, walking over to a clear area. I got into a stance, and prepared to try out a flip I hadn't done in a long time. Let's see if this works, I thought as I took a breath. I threw myself backwards, and threw my legs into the air as I tried out an aerial flip. And when I landed, I stumbled a step or two, but for the most part, I had done it almost perfectly.
"Heh...hehe...I did it!" I exclaimed to myself, only to grab my stomach in pain. "Damn..." My back started to protest the move as well, and that wound started to hurt in turn.
"That was great!" Tyler said, clapping.
"A gymnast, eh?" Mikhaila said, raising an eyebrow. "Must be in the peewee league or somethin', with a flip that bad."
"Peewee?" I repeated sourly. I marched over to where she sat, and glared down at her, clenching my hands into fists as the pain in my stomach and back intensified. "Y'know, if I weren't restraining myself right now, I would've punched you across the face. But you're not worth my time. Listening to your insults and belittling is the very least of my worries right now. Like I said, I have some wounds I'm recovering from, and so naturally, I can't do the flips as well as I used to. I DARE you to repeat that comment in a few months, and see if you don't end up with your foot in your mouth." I grinned evilly and crossed my arms over my chest. "Besides, I doubt you can do those flips yourself. Why don't you show me what you can do?"
"Why the hell would I?"
"Ohhh, that's right. It would mess up your precious clothes," I replied dryly. "Oh, and it would just RUIN your hair too, wouldn't it? Can't mess up that precious image of yours, can we? The image of a vain, haughty, self-absorbed, stuck-up bitch who would think the world is ending if she can't find her damn hair spray! You need to learn to grow up."
"Me? Grow up?" She stood up and looked me in the face, frowning. "I'd say you're the one who needs to learn to grow up. Resorting to insults is a bit childish, isn't it?"
"Oh? So you'd rather have us fight with fists than with words?" I cracked my knuckles. "Fine by me. Wanna make the first move?"
"You're...serious!" she gasped, looking pale.
"At my last school, I had a reputation for getting into fights. And I didn't fight dirty. I didn't use brass knuckles or knives or whatnot. I just used my fists. And I never lost a single fight. You really sure you wanna turn this fight physical?"
She snorted, trying not to look freaked out. "And how many times did you get suspended for those fights, eh?"
I grinned. "Doesn't matter. Oh, and yes, I HAVE fought girls before, so don't think I'd go easy on you just because you're a girl. Besides, it looks like you wouldn't be much fun to fight, anyway. I know how you HATE to exert yourself, so it'd probably only take a punch or two to take you down."
"Y'know...I think I'll echo your previous statement about saying that you're not worth my time!" Mikhaila backed off and sat back down, and I stood there, smiling smugly. My first victory over Miss Haughty.
"I guess somebody had to tell her that," Tyler said to Irodia, "and of all people, it was Rocío. Why am I not surprised?"
Irodia heaved a sigh and stood up, not looking too pleased. "I really wish you two wouldn't fight!" she said, looking at Mikhaila, then me.
"I was just trying out a flip. She was the one making smart-ass comments," I said, shrugging. "Do you have any aspirin with you, by the way? My stomach is hurting again."
"Rocío, no, I don't have any with me. And even if I did, I wouldn't give it to you. I don't want you getting addicted to painkillers. Sometimes, you just have to put up with the pain. You brought it upon yourself when you did that flip, anyway."
"Maybe I did..." I admitted, then frowned as I added, "so should I just live with the pain of losing Michiko? Because I brought that upon myself too! It's my fault she's gone! So should I live with that because I brought it upon myself?"
"T...that's not what I meant," she said, suddenly looking guilty for saying anything in the first place. "That wasn't your fault..."
"I'm sorry..." I mumbled, wiping the tears from my eyes as I turned away. "I'm just not in a very good mood right now..."
"No, no, it's ok. I understand why you wouldn't be," she said, putting her hands on my shoulders. She turned me around so I would face her. "Listen...life is pain. We all know that. But that doesn't mean we can't lessen it or ease its burden on us. If you ever want to talk..."
"You've said that already," I said, my voice hoarse. "But...it's so hard."
"How is it hard?"
"I've never been an open person. And that's the least of it! I just...nobody can possibly relate to what I've gone through... My friends back home could... Michiko couldn't relate, but she still cared nonetheless. She was...she was always there to help me out. And...and I can't get her back..." I hugged Irodia and started to cry. "I don't know what...what I'm supposed to do..."
"What happened to that Michiko girl?" Mikhaila cut in. "What're you talking about?"
"Mikhaila, shush," Tyler said, pulling her back.
"Rocío," Irodia whispered, stroking my hair as I cried on her shoulder, "I know you loved Michiko. And I'm sure she loved you too. Nothing can change that. Hang on to your memories of her, for you're the only one that has them. Try not to remember the way she died, but how she lived."
"I try...but it hurts all the more..." I cried. Michiko had always been such a gentle, kind, caring person. She had always put others before herself. She was the type of person who could light up your world with a smile. And knowing that, it was all the more anguishing to know that she was dead, that I would never see that smile again, except in pictures and in my memories.
"I know it hurts," she said softly. "I know I've said this before, but if you ever need to cry, just cry. Don't hold it in, because you'll just be hurting yourself more. If you bottle your emotions up, they'll end up exploding sooner or later." She lifted up my face so she could look me in the eye. "If you want, I can take you out for some ice cream right now."
"Ice cream?" What was she talking about ice cream for?
"To soothe your throat. All of that crying must've made it raw." She smiled and wiped a stray tear from my cheek. "Is that ok?"
I nodded slowly and forced a weak smile. "Sure."
"I know it's not much, but it's a start. And I'll make sure Mikhaila doesn't bug you about all of this later, ok? I know she can be a pain."
"Hey!" Mikhaila protested, making Irodia laugh.
"Make that a pushover," she joked. "Are you going to be ok?"
"Y-yeah, I feel better already," I said. Just having someone to be able to hug made me feel tons better.
"Tyler, can you make a stop by Baskin Robbins?" she asked, turning to Tyler, who was putting the leftovers back in the cooler. "I'd like us to have a cool treat."
"Fine by me!" he said, grinning.
"It'll be all right," Irodia said, smiling softly at me. "I know this isn't home, but you're not alone, ok? Just remember that."
"I...I will. Thanks, Irodia," I said, following her, Mikhaila, and Tyler back to the car.
Irodia was so much more...well, motherly than I was used to. Mom had her own mothering techniques, and Irodia had hers, but they were so drastically different that my head was practically spinning. It was nice to hear Irodia's words of comfort, but right now, I felt I could really use a hug from Mom. Man, did I miss her! And the way Irodia acted reminded me so much of Nene, it made me miss her all the more. And Linna and Sylia...I missed them so much too. Their leadership had helped me keep my sanity back home, whenever I thought I would never walk normally again, and whenever I wondered why I was bothering on keeping on going when Genom would probably end up catching up with me anyway.
My mom, and my 'aunts'...I missed them all so much that it hurt. I really wished I could see them right at this moment. In Tokyo, where I was fighting Boomers and trying to keep up in school, I felt normal, even though my life would probably be considered far from it. And here in the suburbs of Sacramento, as Rocío Monterrey, a 'foster child', I felt like a fish out of water, even though life here was supposedly way more normal than my life in Tokyo. I knew nobody here.
But I was determined to live out this thing called a normal life...even if the first step towards doing so was going out for an ice cream cone.
-----
A week, a whole week. Had it already been that long since my daughter left? Didn't seem like it. So strange that either time flies by really fast, or it goes really slow. At the moment, it seemed like both were happening at the same time. On one hand, it seemed like I had just gotten back from the airport, bidding Yume farewell...for now. But on the other hand, it seemed like I'd already spent a lifetime without her. Funny how time can mess with your head like that...
I'm sure Yume knew it, even if I didn't really show it, but...I was hurting for her friend Michiko too. I'd known her since she and Yume were seven years old, after all. She'd hung out here at our apartment all the time, setting up blanket tents in the living room and telling scary stories by flashlight. Not exactly a campfire, but hey, they were kids, after all.
Now that Yume was off in California trying to live like a teenager should, I felt the need to go to her friend's grave for her. I owed it to her, as well as Michiko. She'd want me to do it, I'm sure. But it wasn't just for the two of them. Michiko was...almost like another daughter to me. It thrilled me to know that Yume could have someone to talk to, to hang out with, to just talk about girl stuff. And to see the look on my daughter's face when she found out Michiko was murdered...it broke my heart. No girl should ever have to feel that pain. I'd felt it many a time, so I knew what it was like, and it was the last thing that I would wish upon her.
I wished I could give her a hug right now. I'm sure she could've used one.
On this afternoon, I went to the local flower shop and picked up a bouquet of lilacs and daisies, then drove over to Yokohama Memorial Cemetery, where Michiko's grave was. After I dismounted my bike, I started to walk down the path towards the cluster of cherry blossom trees where Michiko laid. I sighed and smirked to myself as I remembered when she had given me a cherry blossom branch for my birthday. "They're the prettiest at this time of year," she'd said.
Once I reached Michiko's grave, I knelt down and placed the bouquet in front of her headstone and sighed. "Hey there," I said. "I'm sure you already know this, but...Yume's really hurting for you. I'm pretty sure she's been blaming herself for what's gone on, but I know it's not her fault. And it's not yours, either. You wanted to walk home for once, and..." I chuckled. "With the way Yume drives sometimes, I can't blame ya. I guess she really does take after me..."
I ran my hand through my hair and set my bike helmet down. "Of all the ways for a person to go... You were still young, you shouldn't have had to die. Especially not like that." I sighed, trying not to let emotion overwhelm me too much. "I think Yume said she paid you a visit before she went off to Genom Tower. So I guess I'm just repeating a lot of the stuff she already told you, but I gotta get it out, anyway. I just wanted to let you know...that you're in my thoughts all the time. And I know you're in Yume's, too."
I wiped a tear from my eye and grabbed my bike helmet and stood up, heaving a sigh. I hated cemeteries, and this one was no exception. Aw hell, who LIKES cemeteries to begin with, anyway?
I turned to walk back to my bike when I saw a teary-eyed woman standing there, a bouquet of flowers cradled in her arms.
"A...Adrienne," I said.
"H-hello, Priss," she said in a shaky voice. "I see you were visiting with Michiko."
"Yeah..."
Adrienne walked past me and knelt down in front of Michiko's headstone, setting her bouquet of flowers with the one I had just set there. "My daughter...my little angel..."
"I'll leave you alone," I said, starting to walk away, when Adrienne stopped me.
"Wait," she said, standing up and grabbing me by the shoulder. I turned around to face her. "Can we talk?"
"About what?" I asked, immediately subconsciously punching myself on the arm. I shouldn't have needed to ask what...
"About...Michiko and Yumeko, and..."
I smiled gently. "That's fine. Where to?"
"Can we go to your place and talk? I'd...feel a little more comfortable there. I can't stand being in my apartment knowing that one of the bedrooms stand unused, stand empty and devoid of any life." She started to tremble as she wiped away some fresh tears. "I'm sorry if I'm a bit emotional, Priss. I can't help it."
"You just lost your kid. I almost lost mine myself. I can kinda relate." I motioned towards Michiko's grave and said, "You came to visit, right? So visit. I'll wait for ya in the parking lot."
"Thanks, I appreciate it. It'll be a few minutes."
"Take all the time you want," I said softly as I turned and walked down the path towards the parking lot. I knew I had no business listening in on a mother-daughter conversation...even if only one of them was able to speak. Hell, if I was talking to Yume about something personal, I wouldn't want anyone to be listening in, either. I could remember my own mom dragging me into her room to talk about personal things that nobody else knew about, and we'd be cracking each other up for hours over boys and puberty and...general girl stuff.
And years later, after I'd become a mom myself, I repeated those experiences with Yume, and we laughed just the same as my mom and I had. But now...Adrienne and Michiko couldn't share those experiences anymore. I couldn't imagine what the hell that was like, to lose a child and not be able to share those light moments any longer. I'd been on the opposite end of it myself – I lost my mom, as well as my dad, when the second Kanto quake occurred, when I was only twelve. But...in a way, I guess I'd suffered the same loss as Adrienne. My daughter was thousands of miles away, and the only safe way to talk to her was through a vidletter, a letter I had to remind myself to record tonight.
Aw hell, what was I thinking? My situation was way different from Adrienne's. She'd lost her daughter forever, and would never be able to hold her or really talk to her. The only way to talk to her was to sit there at her grave and talk to the headstone. And me, my daughter was 'merely' off in another country, and I could mail her vidletters or talk to her whenever I wanted, with the knowledge that she was safe now.
I only wished Adrienne could've had that knowledge.
I stood there in the parking lot, leaning against my bike, while I tossed my helmet in the air over and over, a thousand thoughts similar to those going through my head. Michiko, your life hadn't even begun, but it got snuffed out anyway, I thought, frowning to myself. Life's a bitch, I know, but you shouldn't have had to learn that the hard way. If I knew you'd be dragged into this, I would've done more to protect you... I'm sorry, kiddo. But trust me, if I know Yume like I think I do, she'll do enough living for the both of you.
I heard footsteps nearby, and when I turned my head to look, I saw Adrienne approaching me, her eyes red and puffy from crying. "I'm sorry I took so long," she apologized, her voice choking.
"No, it's all right," I assured her. "She's your daughter."
"If you're going to ask if I need a ride, I'll have to say no. I have a car. I'll just follow you."
"Sure you'll be ok?" I asked as I pulled on my helmet and climbed on my bike. She nodded.
"I'll be fine," she said.
"Where's Kenji, by the way?"
"He's at work. He's been throwing himself into his work, to keep himself distracted, I suppose. I'm starting to worry about him."
I sighed. So typical of men to do that. "Trust me, I would know. That's not exactly the best thing for him to do, but...I guess for now, it's all he CAN do."
She walked to her car and unlocked the door. "I'll be right behind you."
"Ok."
I started up my motorcycle and drove out of the cemetery, Adrienne following close behind in her car. I'd never gotten very close to her, but having had Yume as her daughter's best friend, I guess it'd only be natural for her to lean on me for support.
-----
After Adrienne and I arrived at my apartment, I brewed a pot of coffee for both of us. It'd probably help to calm both our nerves.
"Thank you," she said when she took the steaming cup from me. "It's nice to have someone to talk to."
"You haven't talked with Kenji about it?" I asked, sitting down next to her. "He's your husband and Michiko's dad. You should've talked."
"Like I was saying earlier, he's thrown himself at his job. I barely see him at all these days. He wakes up and heads off to his job before I'm even out of bed, and by the time he gets home, he's too tired to want to do anything but sleep. But sometimes, in the middle of the night...I'll wake up and find him sitting in Michiko's room, crying." She wiped the tears from her eyes. "He loved her so much..."
"She was his little girl. Of course he misses her. And she's your girl, too."
"I think he's forgotten that he's not the only one who's mourning for her."
"He's far from the only one," I concurred, leaning back on the couch.
"I've been wondering something, Priss..." she said, taking a sip from her cup.
"What is it?"
"I haven't heard from Yumeko in a little while. About a week, week and a half, I guess. Where is she?"
I sighed. "She's not here anymore."
"W...where did she go?"
"...I can't say. She's just on a little vacation of sorts, to try and recover from everything that's happened. I don't know when she'll be back."
"Lucky her," Adrienne groaned, running a hand through her short hair. "I need a vacation myself. She's lucky she can just get away and forget about it."
"I seriously doubt she's forgotten about it," I said, getting annoyed. "Michiko was her best friend. I've had friends die, and believe me, it HURTS. It hurts for a long-ass time..." I sighed. "And besides, there's all of the other bullshit that's happened too. Like her getting injured when the convention center exploded, and when she got stabbed."
Adrienne started to chuckle.
"What's so funny?" I inquired.
"When Michiko was missing, Yumeko came over to my apartment, wondering if she was just sick."
"She told me that..." I sighed.
"I was certain it was the Knight Sabers that had done something to her, and...Yumeko didn't take that very well. She bawled me out for thinking it was them, and listed off all these reasons why it couldn't have been them. I think she feels the same way about that group that Michiko did..."
"More than you know," I said, smirking to myself. Oh, if only Adrienne knew just how right she was. But of course, Yume wasn't the only person she knew who was a Knight Saber... She was talking to one right now.
"I remember when I met you and Yumeko for the first time," she said, smiling at the memory.
"So do I," I chuckled.
"I came to pick up Michiko after school; it was her first day. I stepped out of the car, and after looking around for a minute or so, I saw her with Yumeko, talking to you. She really looked excited to actually be talking to her idol."
"What irony that she became best friends with the daughter of her idol, too," I said, cracking a smile. "I'd say it was fate, but Yume doesn't believe in it."
"Neither did Michiko. She just thought it was dumb luck. But anyway, I walked over to you and Yumeko, and looked down at Michiko, and said 'You made a friend already, huh?' And she just said, 'Yeah! This is Yumeko, and look who's her mom!' And she—"
"Pointed at me," I finished, chuckling. "Yeah, I know. It's always neat to see my littlest fans' faces light up when they see me in person."
"It's funny how even though she got to be friends with you and Yumeko, she'd still ask you to sign an album whenever it came out," she chuckled.
"Just the fan in her," I said, returning the chuckle. "Maybe she thought my autograph would be worth millions one of these days."
"Oh, no. She wouldn't have parted with those even if she had a gun to her head. She really cherished your CDs, and I think that's part of why Yumeko took those. She knew Michiko cared about them, and maybe she just wanted to keep them safe for her."
"Sounds like something Yume would do," I agreed.
"When you took Yumeko with you on your '49-'50 tour, Michiko got so lonely. She'd just mope around the house all day, saying 'I want Yumeko here.' And not just for help with her English homework, either," she added, laughing.
"Hell, she still helps me with MINE," I joked. "She was pretty much my interpreter for that whole damn tour, the poor kid."
"Amazing how quick little kids can pick up a language, huh?"
"No kidding. When I came back from my second tour, Yume was only five years old, but she was more fluent in English than I was." I shook my head in mock disbelief and smirked. "I guess I'm a little better at it than I was back then, but only this much better." I held up two of my fingers about a half-inch apart and snickered.
"You just need to travel more," Adrienne joked as she finished off her cup of coffee. "You need to be immersed in the language to truly learn it."
I shrugged and sipped my coffee. "I only need Japanese. That's good enough for me. And if my English is all twisted, like it tends to get, then others'll just have to live with it." I chuckled to myself again.
"Oh, we have, for the nineteen years since your debut album came out."
I started to crack up. "Exactly!"
"Well," she said, standing up, "I'm really glad I got to spend time with you, Priss. This has really helped, to just TALK about it."
"Oh, wait," I said, motioning for her to stay there. I walked into my bedroom and sifted through the desk drawers. After I found what I was looking for, I walked back into the living room and handed it to Adrienne. "Here."
"A vidletter?" she said, confused.
"Yeah. I figure you and Kenji would want to say something to Yume. It's blank, so you can record your letter on there. I'll mail it out myself for ya. And besides..."
"Besides what?"
"You being Michiko's mom, I'm sure Yume would want a letter from you. It's one thing to get a letter from me, but you're the mother of her best friend."
She nodded in understanding. "I'll be sure to try and record it tonight. I'll return it to you when I get it recorded. And hopefully Kenji will take a time-out and put in his say, too."
"He better, or I'll have to coerce him into doing so," I said, getting an evil grin on my face as I slammed my fist into the open palm of my hand.
"I don't think you'll have to resort to that," she laughed as I led her to the door. "Thank you, Priss. You've really helped me. I hope we can do this more often."
"No problem," I said as I opened the door for her. "Anytime, Adrienne."
"I'll see you tomorrow," she said as she left.
After I closed the door behind her, I walked back to the couch and flopped down on it. I had never seen Adrienne like this before. Normally, she was kinda stuck-up, always badmouthing people or groups she didn't care for, like the Knight Sabers. But now that her daughter was gone, she was completely changed. She was a total wreck, in need of support, and even forgetting her hate for whoever it was she hated. I guess a bitch-slap by reality will do that to ya.
I would know.