From Heathen to Hero Halloween Special: Dice, Bullets, and Romance
Disclaimers I don't own Kono Suba, please support any to all official releases and your local commuting fandoms.
Also just putting it out there, I've considered heavily to become the Dante and Vergil of today and create my own modern day mythos of Hell and Purgatory, just a thought I wanted to share.
Indo-ZioKannan was nowhere near an improvement for Kazuma or Aqua in any regards, considering demi-demons still roamed the lands and were armed with better graded weaponry.
While Truxasko had people using makeshift weaponry ranging from broken beer bottles and bats, they also used guns, granted low graded, poorly maintained, and held by super glue and rusted metal guns.
Neo Az-Maya were at least given the benefit of being creative in improvising their weapons and crafting things into something for frightening and intimidating.
But when it came to entering the lands of Indo-ZioKannan, they had to deal with demi-demons driving in entering that requires gasoline or the occasional Hell Impala, and this is before when talking about their weapons.
Their weapons if not fully automatic rifles or semi-automatic shotguns that used slug shots were modern day crossbows or compound bows, hunting hatchets and machetes, and on one experience a chainsaw and someone wielding a damn flame thrower.
Yup, their journey towards Vey Aria was not getting any easier, as evident when they had to abandoned their once functioning pickup truck.
"This blows" says Kazuma as Aqua stood be sides him as she was eating the last bit of her apple cinnamon empanada as evident with her licking her fingers.
"You can say that again, I lost the other 2 ½ parts of my tacos" said Aqua as Kazuma rolled his eyes as they were approaching a general goods store that was attached to a bar.
"Well, I know where I'm going" Aqua said happily before Kazuma pulled the back of her hair as her head snapped back from the sudden yank.
"Nope, I'm not gonna let you get drunk off your ass, or do I need to remind you how I had to baby your ass when you not only caused us to crash, but nearly incapable of defending yourself after we decided to have lunch at the Cantina Burrito Gong or did you forget" said Kazuma as that was the day he got his hand chopped off and took a bullet to the leg, which Aqua obviously fixed and patched up.
"It was happy hour, besides it's been a week since I got to wet my whistle with my favorite kind of bubbly and not those tiny bottles of fire water they serve and give out on the airplane" said Aqua as that was her main source of indulging and sating her taste for booze.
"If I can't drink while walking down these empty roads, no way in hell I'm letting you do it by yourself, leaving me to be the responsible adult here" said Kazuma as this got Aqua to finally bawl.
Ignoring her silly weakling and cry baby mode, Kazuma and Aqua entered the general store and began to pick himself up a back pack and a bunch of snack and junk foods.
Once he made the final purchases and transactions, Kazuma could only grumble for only having a measly 10 Caps in his pocket.
This isn't even enough to get myself any of those meal deals at TFC, grumbled Kazuma as Aqua was waiting outside and pouting outside.
"Ok Aqua ready to go" asked Kazuma as the goddess gave him the silent treatment and refused to budge.
"Aqua, we seriously don't have many for any fast food and possibly gas, let alone booze until our next attack, which I'm not looking forward to at any point" said Kazuma.
"It's not fair" pouted Aqua before a green portal emerged before spitting out DVD disc towards the duo.
Looking at the disc with curiosity, Kazuma soon picked it up as there was a note that read 'play me', though the truth is Kazuma had no way of playing it at the moment, before some demi-demons came out the bar next door holding chains, bats, and knives.
"Crap, get ready for a fight" said Kazuma as he took out his handgun and began to shoot away at a few demi-demons as Aqua put up her fist and channel in her goddess energy and obliterated them by either punching or kicking them.
Once the massacre was over and they've collected whatever money or anything of value with them, Aqua saw this as an opportunity to get herself a stiff drink.
"For the record I don't like this, but I guess you deserve a drink, let me repeat a single drink so make whatever you order count and is cheap" said Kazuma, "I'm not going to drink water, but thanks Kazuma. Hey waiter, give me the biggest picture of you got" said Aqua paying absolutely disregard to what Kazuma requested.
"Please give my friend here the most cheapest beer you got also if it's not asking too much, I'd like to watch this DVD our friends sent me if you're willing to provide" said Kazuma to the barkeep.
The barkeep said nothing and only nodded as he began to pour Aqua her drink to which she cringe a little upon the first sip, before inserting the DVD into the audio and TV station setting in the bar.
After watching the commercial and the offer behind it, Kazuma and Aqua were left with a choice.
"I say we go" said Aqua, "Look I got nothing against attending their wedding, my problem is how do we plan to get there and if the trip is worth making a detour given we have a mission to get you to Vey Aria and confront Satan, which need I remind hasn't been easy" said Kazuma.
"You know what, you can tell them that you just don't want to go" said Aqua as she felt Kazuma was just making excuses.
"I want to go, but I don't know the way to get there" said Kazuma, "We'll figure it out, just try and believe" said Aqua before the barkeep knocked on the counter before handing Kazuma the remote.
Confused at first, both saw that the DVD was interactive to an extent with an attend or not option.
Seeing how both wanted to go, Kazuma pressed attend before a blue portal opened underneath them, before both were gone from the bar and Indo-ZioKannan as a whole.
Screaming their way through, Kazuma and Aqua found themselves landing on top of a small pile of snow, which cushioned their fall, before getting up.
"Brrrrrr, I'm freezing" said Aqua as she began to rub her shoulders and shivered, "You're telling me" said Kazuma as he began to rub his hands as his teeth chattered.
Before they could dwell on their predicament, they notice a figure approaching them wearing a huge puffer jacket, a large beanie, scarf, snow goggles, and jeans and snow boots.
"Are you Satou Kazuma and the Water Goddess Aqua" asked the being, "We are" said Kazuma as the individual nodded before reaching inside their coat.
Instantly they pulled out 2 puffer jackets and some leggings for Aqua to put on, before they continue to march in the snow in silence for a good quarter mile before arriving to their destination, New Meadows Movadja.
"Whoa" said Kazuma as he began to smile alongside Aqua, "Come on, follow me" said the individual as they continued to lead Kazuma and Aqua down the streets of the strip where they notice the locals here were different.
They were all essentially humans, except all of them had 2 short stubby horns and cracked halos over their heads.
Needless to say as much as Kazuma and Aqua notice these people, they all stood out for being normal essentially.
"Hey Kazuma, people are staring at us" said Aqua, "Yeah I know" said Kazuma as he was prepared in case they tried anything funny.
"We're here" said the individual as they stood outside the Devil's Playground Casino and Resort, where in spite of weather conditions, it felt warm outside as they continued inside.
Once inside they were in awe to see the things they saw in the commercial and then some, before the individual went up to the reception desk.
"Welcome back Mr. Devil of Envy, what can I do for you" said one of the damn humans working the counter.
"I'd like to help register my friends for not only rooms, but also to make arrangements that they still be allowed here for whatever reason to attend my friend's wedding" said the Devil of Evil.
"Of course sir, and can I get the names of your friends" said the damned human, as the Devil of Envy turned to Kazuma and Aqua.
"Right names Kazuma Satou and this is Aqua" said Kazuma introducing themselves "Alright Mr. and Mrs. Satou, your rooms will be on the 7th room, and it'll be room 4-C" said the damned human.
"Oh um, we're not together or anything like that" corrected Kazuma with a blush as Aqua too blushed as she shook her head back and forth no.
"My apologies. Here are your room keys and we hope you enjoy your time not only here at the Devil's Playground, but all of New Meadows" said the damned human as she handed them their keys and smiled at them.
Once they got their keys, next came a new important pressing matter at hand.
"So wait, your one of the 7 devils we heard about that are loyal to Satan" asked Kazuma as the Devil of Envy lifted his right hand up before snapping his fingers.
Instant he was surrounded by a small maelstrom as his clothes began to transform and change into that of a black business pants, and blazer with a white button up underneath as he wore oddly enough sneakers as he carried a G11 rifle on his back, using the original caseless model ammunition.
"Allow me to introduce myself, Beeqok Heliozah the Devil of Envy" said Beeqok with a smile as he had a bit of a southern comfort accent before shifting his body quickly to dab for the sake of it.
"Oh, another damn Devil" said Aqua as she rolled her eyes, "Why thank you miss goddess" said Beeqok as he continued to lead them to the main reception hall where we can see Monet, Scex Pistal, and Azay waiting.
"Aqua, Kazuma, good to see you 2 again" said Monet as they all gathered up.
"So when's the actual wedding if you don't mind me asking" asked Kazuma as he shook hands with Monet, "It'll be in 2 days for now, though me and my honey Monet plan to spend our honey moon here for the next week and a half" said Scex Pistal before kissing his partner on the cheek.
"So where are the other Devils, I was kinda expecting them to all be here and meet everyone at long last" said Kazuma, "I'm afraid they'll be running late do to work, but no doubt they'll be here for the reception" said Envy.
"I hope so, but for now let's enjoy ourselves for the time being" said Monet as everyone cheered, "Kazuma, why not go out with your girlfriend down of Asbury and Castleton Avenue, it's not far from here and something tells me both of you will be enjoying the pleasantries around that area" said Scex Pistal with a wink.
"And something tells me you paid the receptionist at the desk to think that both me and this bitch goddess are husband and wife" said Kazuma before Aqua tied wrestling Kazuma from behind.
"Who are you calling a bitch goddess to all these devils you NEET" said Aqua, before Kazuma broke free and pulled her cheeks into submission.
Once they checked in their stuff, mainly bullets and snacks, Kazuma and Aqua opted to explore the strip to where Scex Pistal suggested where low and behold, it was paradise for them both.
Outdoor slot machines not far from an all you can eat Cantina Burrito Gong.
"Kazuma did we went back to heaven" asked Aqua, "I don't know, but before we go eat all we can drink till you puke outside, let me earn us some money" said Kazuma as he approached the slot machines.
In a span of 10 minutes, Kazuma had won the jackpot 3 times, before going to paradise for Aqua.
While the drinks costed extra, the all you can eat Burrito Gong costed no more than 17 Hell Caps per being, and given how Kazuma left the slots with about 15 thousand Hell Caps he was feeling pretty generous tonight.
"Oh my god this is true bliss and paradise" said Aqua as she had bits of hot sauce and sour cream around the corner of her mouth as she ate her 3rd 7 layer burrito and sipped back between her 8th Margarita.
"Well I'm glad you're happy and not whining for once" said Kazuma as he was eating himself some crunchy tacos and had himself a root beer.
"Hey Kazuma, why aren't you drinking" said a flushed face Aqua, "Cause one of us needs to be an adult, and the last time we both got drunk you got yelled at for puking in a pot of chowder, while I woke up without a shirt on, sitting in a bath basin filled with milk" said Kazuma.
"Come on, it's not drinking alone, and I'm not ready to make friends with a bunch of heathens. Hey can we get some Sake shots and another Margarita!" shouted Aqua to a waiter who nodded.
"Seriously I'm not gonna drink" said Kazuma bluntly, "Either drink with me or I'll cause a scene that'll get you arrested" said Aqua with a devilish grin.
While it was no problem dealing with Aqua considering she normally couldn't lie out of a paper bag, when she was drunk she was generally a better liar.
"Damn it fine" said Kazuma begrudgingly as the waiter placed at least 3 Sake shots in front of Kazuma, who was in no hurry in drinking them all, considering the night was young, and he had money.
The next morning
His head was splitting, he was exaughsted and feared that he may got talk into some sort of double bachelor party tonight, for obvious reasons.
"Fuck, my head hurts. Aqua be useful and make me some water" said Kazuma as he sat up from bed and gripped his head.
The room was spinning, but he still had a grasp of noticing Aqua wasn't either in bed or anywhere in sight.
"Aqua, where the hell are you" shouted Kazuma as he began to get out of bed and slide on his shirt, before entering the bathroom where he saw Aqua sleeping in the tub, with a trail of missed vomit around the toilet as she was sleeping next to a big bottle of wine.
Disgusted over this sight and not ready to deal with Aqua unintentionally making his day harder first thing in the morning, he grabbed the shower head and began to spray the goddess with cold water.
"Waaaaahhhhh, what the hell!? Kazuma!? Turn off the damn water, stupid NEET!?" cried Aqua as he did.
"Why would you do that" asked Aqua as she blew a strand of her wet blue hair out of her face while sitting up.
"You're a degenerate and if it wasn't for the fact you're actually pretty pure in terms of not sleeping with everyone, I'd call you a dirty pirate hooker you useless drunk bum of a goddess" said Kazuma.
Enraged, Aqua stole the shower head and turned on the water and sprayed it towards Kazuma, but she had set the water on hot.
"Aaaaaaahhhhh, damn it that water was hot you stupid bitch goddess" screamed Kazuma as he stumbled back and crawled his way back into their hotel room, before Beeqok kicked in the door.
"Get your pants on and arm up, we got ourselves a bit of an issue" said Beeqok before turning outside the door and began to fire away.
"Kazuma was that gun fire" asked Aqua as she stepped out the bathroom, "Yup, so you know what that means" said Kazuma as he began to dress up and grab himself his pistol.
"I thought we were on vacation" Aqua said frustratingly before slipping her shoes on, and grabbing her own pistol.
"Not anymore, now come on Beeqok needs our help" said Kazuma as they stepped outside to see that lied dead in the hallways were both damned humans and Jumblee's.
"What the hell is going on" asked Kazuma as they caught sight of some damned humans fleeing for their lives as they were being chased by Jumblee's.
Without missing a Beeqok snapped his fingers as the Jumblee's began to explode in a fire work display, much to the relief of the damned humans.
"Hurry on out of this place and seek refuge in one of the other casinos" said Beeqok as the damned humans thanked him before fleeing.
"I'll ask again, what's going on" asked Kazuma, "Anarchy is going on. It seems that this whole wedding here was trap from Cynthia the proprietor of this place to not only forcibly capture and marry Monet, but also her means and act of betraying Satan" said Beeqok.
"But why, like don't get me wrong I'll root for anyone to oppose Satan, but not matters of love" asked Aqua, "If it wasn't for me and Scex Pistal needing the extra hand, I'd beat you near death" said Beeqok as he glared at Aqua, "So mean".
"But to answer your question, there's a lot of beurocratic deals involving the potential of adding Movadja as a permanent location here in Hell, with a lot of lines not allowed to be crossed, one of them being the ways of how New Meadows isn't allowed to send people back home with nothing or punishing them for cheating like they did back in Las Vegas, something that hasn't gone well over Cynthia's head, and take in to account how she never got over Monet dumping her and becoming gay, and well it was only a matter of time before the crazy ass bitch would snap" said Beeqok.
"Alright, so what's the plan" asked Kazuma, "I'm currently trying to evacuate every damned human I could find out of here, while also trying to contact and reach out to the other devils who never came along with Satan to intervene and end this mess" explained Beeqok.
"Scex Pistal is on a crusade to save Monet from that possessive bitch clutches while also evacuating everyone else around" said Beeqok, "What about Azay" asked Kazuma.
"Sigh, the poor girl is currently sleeping away locked up in her room until the tomorrow, as per usual since when it gets cold she normally chooses to sleep in a comatose state, but even if she was awake, there's not much she can do considering the Jumblee's are immune to the cold" said Beeqok.
"Now as for you guys, I'd recommend to get yourselves some new guns, take my phone and buy what you need and pay me back later, otherwise helped any damned humans and give Scex Pistal a hand, he's heading towards the Casino's underground vault where they keep the money" said Beeqok.
"Why didn't you say so earlier" said Aqua as the thought of money seemed to put her in high spirits.
"Alright, I wish you 2 the best of luck, but before we split up, I've a gift for Kazuma" said Beeqok, "By the power vested in me as the Devil of Envy, I hereby bless the man a portion of my power and may it serve him well for whatever dare stands to oppose him".
Transferring his powers into a pendant, to which he handed to Kazuma, Beeqok began to explain the new hellish ability he could use.
"Now Kazuma, whenever you activate my power, you can cause yourself a none stop explosion around you for the next 2 minutes as if you were in a Hollywood action film, with you serving as the lead, however it takes about an hour and a half before you can use my power again" said Beeqok.
"You know I have a friend that if she was here, she'd love to have this ability you've given me" said Kazuma with a smile, "Anyone would, since the person to unleash such booming might and power deserves to be at the center of the crowd" said Beeqok, who was unaware of the demolition maniac loli Kazuma was referring to.
"Now enough talk, I must evacuate the rest of the citizens and make contact with the other Devils and my boss, good luck you 2" said Beeqok before he ran out the room where gunfire could be heard.
"Alright Aqua, you ready" asked Kazuma as he began to cock his gun back, "To get hammered and my Burrito Gong fill, that be awesome" said Aqua as she was hung up that their vacation ended so soon.
"Alright, tell you what, you promise me not to bitch while we save Monet, and I'll convince them to let us stay here for the next 10 days where we can get our fill of gambling, Burrito Gong, booze, and whatever" said Kazuma.
"Sounds good to me" said Aqua with a smile, before Kazuma cocked his gun as both began to run outside their room.
"Kazuma" said Aqua as they saw an attacking Jumblee charging at them, "I got it" said Kazuma as he cap the unique demon in the legs for it to fumble, before, Aqua decided to use God Blow and obliterate it.
"At least these guys are killable" said Kazuma as they continued their way to get to the bottom floor, where they were in a corridor between the elevator and stairway.
"Let's take the elevator, it'll be a lot more faster" said Aqua as she pushed the button, "No way, that's a health hazard ready to happen, we'll just hoof it, and it'll be a lot more faster" said Kazuma as he peaked down the stairway to see a gang of Jumblee tearing apart and killing damned humans that were already dead.
Shutting the door quickly and putting a mop to block the entrance, soon Kazuma and Aqua heard the stampeding sounds of angry Jumblee's wanting to tear them apart.
"Lucky handsome bastards and hot single woman first" said Kazuma as the elevator door dinged open, before both he and Aqua hopped in just in time before the door shut on them.
Taking a breather while counting their blessings of not getting overwhelmed by the Jumblee's, Aqua decided to ask Kazuma a question regarding the statement he had said.
"So you think I'm hot, finally glad to hear you admit that you found me attractive especially during those nights where we slept side by side in those stables together where your body would shake and you'd grunt and gasp like you were taking the best piss in your life" teased Aqua as she was trying to hide her smirk with a hand over her mouth.
"Let me stop you right there, when I said that, I had in mind woman like Darkness, Wiz, Asa Akira, Mia Kalifa, and Zoe Nixon, also thank you for turning a blind eye and said nothing to all that's happened in the barn up until now Aqua" said Kazuma as Aqua began to puff her cheeks as she began to pout, which was a sure sign Aqua was going to bitch.
"Stupid shut in NEET, you have a bombshell of a fricken goddess next to at all times, who has worked hard, played hard, and allowed you to hold me close when we spoon together, and all you can do is mention woman who wouldn't normally give you the time of day, let alone get close to like I've graciously have allowed you to do, and this doesn't include the fact I've consciously allowed you to use me as material to sate your lust, you've any idea how disturbing and much of a turnoff it is to most woman, andI'mcertainthatifallthosepornactressesknowwhatkindofmanwasfappingattheminhisfreetimethey'dbesoturnedofftothepointthattheymightquittheadultentertainmentindustrybecauseofpervertedbastardshutinNEETSwhodoesn'tknowhowgoodhehasitorhowgoodhecouldhaveitifheputinthedamneffort" ranted Aqua
-Pause-
Wow, I haven't done one of these in a while, and that was in another fic entirely guys.
Also please tell me how I'm doing so far, I'd like to know in the review section when I'm done, now to the story.
Having enough, Kazuma began to pull on Aqua's cheeks to pipe her down and was ready to scold her before realizing they were approaching the bottom floor.
"Seriously calm down, before I decide to ditch you here and save the damn day all by myself like always" said Kazuma as he aimed his gun towards the door, "Oh that wouldn't be the first you cowardly selfish bastard NEET" said Aqua as she too aimed her gun outside.
Once the door opened, both were blessed that not a single Jumblee was in sight, which was good for the 2 of them as they began to race into the casino, hoping to find something or someone that could lead them where Scex Pistal had ran off to.
The only sure sign that was available was how there were endless bodies of dead damned human's and Jumblee's, along with used bullet shells.
"This way" said Kazuma as they followed the trail of bullets and blood into an 'employee's only' hallway.
As they continued, the more they saw more dead bodies of Jumblee's, before reaching into an open vault, where the casino had stored the money.
"Alright Aqua, here's the plan, I'll lay some suppressing fire, and while they're distracted, you use your godly powers to obliterate the biggest asshole who looks at you wrong" said Kazuma.
"I actually like that plan" said Aqua as she nodded in agreement, before Kazuma ran in head first to see nothing but blood sprayed everyone and bags of money.
"All clear" said Kazuma, "Yay" cheered Aqua as she ran up to the cleanest bag of money she could grab, as Kazuma shook his head back and forth.
"Aqua I think we have bigger priorities that need to be addressed" said Kazuma, "Like how you're passing on a chance to loot a bunch of free money with nobody looking" said Aqua cheekily.
"You do realize that before we went on this road trip across hell, Monet made it clear that my actions will be judge until we're face to face with Satan, where if I'm deemed too bad, I'll be damned here for all eternity and it'll be the end of your existence" said Kazuma as he found their punishments to be unjust on so many levels.
"Aw crap" jeered Aqua as she nearly forgot all of them as she dropped the money, "Let's save that stupid devil already".
"Funny enough, I see used bullet shells and a trail of blood leading here" said Kazuma as he stood a few feet away from a wall of safes.
"But I don't know if this leads to a hidden entrance or a trap, so let's search for something" said Kazuma as he began to fiddle with the knobs on the safe, while Aqua began to move miscellaneous crap all around.
Eventually, by some sort of 'dumb' luck, Aqua decided to play with the receipt feed of one of the many registers, and the wall began to move.
"I did it" said Aqua expecting for Kazuma praise her in a manner that she'd expect from her most loyal of followers, but only got a smile and thumbs up from Kazuma.
"Alright let's go" said Kazuma before he heard gunshots up ahead, "Come on, let's go".
Running down the halls, Kazuma and Aqua heard the gunshots getting louder and continuously more frequent, along with dead Jumblee's all around.
"Kazuma" Aqua said worriedly, "If push comes to shove, just be ready to retreat and heal me afterwards" said Kazuma till at long last they saw some Jumblee's standing with their backs towards them.
Using the element of surprise, Aqua and Kazuma began to shoot at them, punch them into obliteration, and so forth.
Eventually moving their way forward, they saw Scex Pistal filling a Jumblee with enough lead before stabbing the bayonet into the torso of a different Jumblee.
"Not every day I decide to spray, before penetrating" Scex Pistal said before noticing Kazuma and Aqua arrived, "Kazuma, Aqua perfect timing".
"Scex Pistal, we're here to help you in rescuing Monet" said Kazuma as he pinned a Jumblee to the wall, before pressing his gun against its head and pulled the trigger.
"That's very generous of you 2, I really do appreciate it" said Monet as he bashed the butt end of his gun into a Jumblee, before shooting all those that stood before them.
"Aqua, some goddess purity magic would be useful" said Kazuma, "I can't I might hurt Scex Pistal" said Aqua as she used God Requiem and turned 3 Jumblee's into drifting souls.
Once they had finished clearing out the hallway, everyone began to rest and take a breather.
"So…huff…how'd this all happened" asked Kazuma as he tossed his now empty gun towards where they had entered as Aqua gathered any Hell Caps she could find amongst the corpse and puddles of blood.
"It was terrible, me and Monet were trying to enjoy a nice romantic dinner and a show, when Cynthia decides to join us out of the blue. Granted it was pleasant, we talked, shared some laughs, but just as the show ended, that's when she revealed her trap onto us" began Scex Pistal.
"She kindly offered an alleged 'make up' earring for Monet, to which I insisted he put on, not knowing that upon wearing it, Monet was driven mad and under forceful control of that- that- harlot" said Scex Pistal.
"So naturally I attempted to call my boss and gather the other Devils, and subsequently the 2 of you, to confront and stop her immediately before she could cause any further harm, but alas she planned everything ahead of time, from the snow storms, to ordering her Jumblee's to attack everyone in sight, and even blocking radio, and phone call connection to anyone that could aid us" concluded Scex Pistal.
Even if he was a devil, Aqua felt sympathy for Scex Pistal, given that the man he loved and on the day that was supposed to be the happiest day of their lives, were taken by selfish bitter ex.
As for Kazuma, he liked their new devil friends and was all for helping them since the get go, as he approached and rested a hand on Scex Pistal.
"You're not alone, me and Aqua will do everything in our power to help you" said Kazuma with a reassured smile.
"Thank you Kazuma, that really means a lot to me, oh how I wish I could properly arm you at the moment" said Scex Pistal as he was aware that Kazuma was out of bullets, and because they can't make calls, Scex Pistal can't request more ammo or weapons for either of them.
"No worries, in like 10 more minutes, I can tango with these Jumblee's" said Kazuma as he looked at his watch and that they were nearing the next witching hour.
"If you say so, though I think it be smart if you carried one of these" said Scex Pistal as he handed Kazuma a small pocket knife, just in case.
"Thanks" said Kazuma, "You're welcome, now we must hurry for I fear whatever that harlot has in store and intends to do to my Monet Honey" said Scex Pistal as he began to continue to lead them.
They continued to fight hoards of Jumblee's from affront and behind as they progressed before they entered a large room filled with large and small pipes, concrete, and grates.
"What is this place" asked Aqua, "My guess it has to be the boiler room, or at least an extension of it" said Scex Pistal as he looked down below the grates they were walking on and notice various faucets, valves, and valve pressure gauges.
"Do they seriously need something this obnoxiously big" asked Kazuma, "You see the presentation and how warm it was at the entrance to this place, it takes a lot of power to achieve an aesthetic image to the public like that" explained Scex Pistal.
Just as they were ready to move on, the room suddenly got more cold in both a figurative and literal sense.
"Something's not right" said Kazuma as the room continuously got colder until at long last a gust of wind, followed by a black maelstrom appeared before them.
Instantly standing before them at an impressive 20 feet, that was all skin and bones, wrapped in a cloak made up of ash, father, and soot, and the horns of an alpha buck, was none other than a Windigo.
"What the hell is that thing" cried Aqua, "I'm afraid friends that happens to be the dreaded Windigo, normally used as an ultimate security measure in case someone decided to rob the vault and all of its money" said Scex Pistal as he removed the safety to his assault rifle.
"Damn it, just my luck" jeered Kazuma as he still had 5 minutes before the next witching hour as he took out the knife, before he realized he had one more trick up his sleeve.
Remembering he still had the pendant Beeqok had given him, he activated it and charged in head first and low and behold his first slash resulted in an explosion.
Eventually, the Windigo was discombobulated from being caught in an explosive trap, as Kazuma was left unharmed.
"Kazuma, keep doing what you're doing" cheered Aqua from the side as Kazuma didn't need to be told twice as he slashed away once more, and brought the Windigo down.
Seeing the perfect opportunity, Kazuma ran towards its head and plunge his knife into the creepy looking head of the Windigo, before it erupted in a grand explosion surrounding the entire area.
"Ok guys, I think it's finally dead" said Kazuma as he stood over the dead Windigo to admire his handy work.
"Way to go Kazuma" said Scex Pistal, "Hey Kazuma" said Aqua, "Yes I'm Kazuma" said Kazuma, "Imagine what Megumin would say if she could've saw you just now".
With Megumin and Darkness
After taking on an impossible quest once more, and by some odd miracle, Darkness, Megumin, Yunyun, and Chris made the long journey back home, with Darkness carrying Megumin on her back.
"Achoo" sneezed Megumin as she turned her head away to avoid sneezing on Darkness, but had no qualms sneezing on Yunyun, who had a mortified look on her face.
"Are you alright Megumin" asked Darkness, "I think so, but I can't help but feel like Kazuma and Darkness are up to doing something that was explosive related" said Megumin.
"What makes you say that" asked Darkness, "Call it a Crimson Demon's intuition" said Megumin with a sparkle in her eyes, to which Darkness smiled as she continued to carry Megumin back home, with everyone else in toe.
Back in New Meadows, Hell
"Ok, let's get moving" said Kazuma as he wiped his knife clean, "Indeed, though in all honesty I'm worried for your guys' well being, since we'll soon be facing against Cynthia , and you both appear to be not only severly unprepared, but also unarmed" said Scex Pistal as he was devoided of making any innuendos.
Checking his smartphone, Kazuma notice that there were still no signal for him to make a phone call as of yet to request for more ammo and better armor.
Not to mention they had no idea what they'll be fighting next, but something tells Kazuma that it was gonna be to powerful for not only a mere water goddess but also for him, even with all these fancy and unique abilities given to him so far by the 7 devils of hell that served Satan.
"I think me and Aqua could use a break personally" said Kazuma, "Very well, but don't stay behind for too long now" said Scex Pistal as he had no intention of stopping till he had Monet securely back in his arms.
Leaving the duo to rest, Kazuma and Aqua sat side by side just happy to be alive and well considering all the mayhem that's been happening to them these past few months.
"Hey Kazuma" said Aqua, "Yes I'm Kazuma" said Kazuma as he looked at the time on his phone since time was of an important essence to their survival.
"You were in love before right" asked Aqua as the question surprised Kazuma, "Just curious to know why was it that while you were in love it made you do stupid decisions instead of being more brave, more heroic you know".
Not really comfortable talking about how he was indirectly broken up to this day, for some reason Kazuma sighed as he didn't need to think hard as to why he became a NEET.
"First of all, me being in love with my childhood friend didn't made me any different, we never made out, let alone held hands since second grade, secondly I only became what I was because she decided to move on and hook up with someone else, forgetting about the promise we made back when we were kids" said Kazuma as he heard a light laugh from Aqua.
"You find something funny about that" asked a miffed Kazuma as he had a tick on the corner of his forehead, "Sorry, just I forgot about that last bit of info, plus seeing you act so sentimental and mature is so unusual for me that I can only laugh at the situation" said Aqua as she continued to laugh.
"You know what, I don't want to hear that from with a goddess who probably doesn't know a thing about love" said Kazuma as Aqua began to punch his shoulder.
"How rude, I definitely know a thing or two about love" cried Aqua, "Oh really, then tell me what it is" Kazuma said sarcastically as he could use a laugh himself.
"Love is when your parents tuck you in and kiss you good night, love is when you leave to either work or school telling your family that you love them, love can be painful when having to say goodbye to the people you love, but more importantly love is between 2 individuals regardless of gender, race, or whatever the case maybe, because they want nothing more than to be together with their partner in spite of what others may say or the differences and flaws they see, because all they want is nothing more than to hold them in their arms tell them 'I love you' before sealing the deal with a kiss" said Aqua.
It was moments like this that Kazuma hated about Aqua, when she was honestly sincere after insulting Kazuma or where he made himself look like an ass, didn't help that Aqua was beaming with pride with her nose stuck up in the air.
"Sigh, tell me again why are we talking about love all of a sudden" asked Kazuma as this whole conversation was starting to irk him, "Well we're here to save a wedding, and seeing Scex Pistal going above and beyond for Monet is quite admirable and very romantic" said Aqua.
"Well sorry if I'm not the chivalrous type after being forgotten by the one girl who I promised to marry someday" said Kazuma as he began to frown over how uncool he felt right now.
"I'm just saying you had 3 girls surrounding you at all times, and not once did you made an effort to be a gentlemen to any of us" said Aqua, "Yeah well unfortunately no matter how lucky people thought I was, I learned firsthand what it means to not stick your dick in crazy, since no good could happen for me at least should that had happen" scoffed Kazuma.
"Stupid pervert shut-in NEET" said Aqua angrily as she tried to wrestle Kazuma, but the witching hour came and Kazuma had the superior strength in not only getting her off but to pull her cheeks as well.
"Burrito Gong addicted goddess of debt" said Kazuma before he felt his phone ringing where he released his hold on Aqua.
"Hey Kazuma, you alive" asked Beeqok, "Yeah I'm alive, I take it you destroyed the jamming signal" asked Kazuma.
"Damn straight, and now that we got things back in order, I'm going to call in our boss to fix this mess, but enough on that, you managed to catch up to Scex Pistal" asked Beeqok.
"Yeah we did, but he went on ahead to confront Cynthia" said Kazuma, "Then what the hell are you doing sitting on your ass talking to me, get going and back him up even he doesn't stand a chance facing off against her alone" said Beeqok.
"Alright, we get to it right away" said Kazuma before hanging up as he began to make a few instant orders here and there.
"You ready to take on and face up against whatever is up ahead" asked Kazuma as he had ordered them both some powerful weapons, mainly 2 rocket launchers for each of them, an M79 grenade launcher for Aqua, and finally the MG42 for Kazuma aka Hitler's Buzzsaw.
"Yeah, I'm ready" said Aqua as she gave Kazuma a thumbs up to which he returned, before both went out of their way to deal with Cynthia.
Running down the halls, they eventually entered inside a coliseum of some kind as they saw rows of spectator seats and in the center of the arena on caged metal floor was Cynthia as standing behind her was a monster unimaginable.
It was 20 feet tall, it's skin continued to rot and peel as bits of it fell to the ground, revealing it's nearly boney body as chunks of meat, muscle and nerves remained in place, it's head was the most intact, which wasn't a good thing.
A mixture of torn flesh and bits of brown fur as it had patches of blood and maggots crawling everywhere, with it resembling of a moose as evident by the large antlers and long boney face and jaw sticking outwards, while its eyes glowed a sinister yellow.
As it stands, it held a strong grip separating Monet and Scex Pistal, as Cynthia turned to face Kazuma and Aqua.
"You're not any of the other devils, or any of the other denizens here in hell" said Cynthia as she was curious to know based on the looks of Kazuma and Aqua.
"So your Monet's ex that must be in charge and the reason hell has broken here on Hell's little paradise" said Kazuma, "I see you've heard of me, however I'd like to properly introduce myself" said Cynthia as she never broke her posture or skipped a beat.
"My name is Cynthia Cyrus, the owner and proprietor of the 'Devils Playground Casino and Resort', and this standing behind me is my Skinwalker" said Cynthia as the beast let out a ferocious roar.
"What I like to know why are you doing this" asked Aqua, "A multitude of things really, me making this unfair deal and relationship here in Hell, how Monet not only broke up with me, but our arranged engagement" said Cynthia.
"Wait, you 2 were engaged" asked Kazuma, "Our parents had arranged it so that one day we could create a powerful empire out on the floors of the strip, but this guy wanted nothing to do with the casino industry, more so he had decided to go gay after we broke up" explained Cynthia.
"And what about this deal you made with the devil" asked Kazuma, "In order to get me to continue running and living out my life as curator and business mogul, I made a deal with Satan that in order to run this place I had to do with a much more forgiving attitude here in Hell, compared to the harsh honesty and lessons learned to those who couldn't make here out on the strip" Cynthia said bitterly.
"Ok, then tell me what you plan to gain by doing all of this, you don't think you can win" said Kazuma. "On the contrary, I have the upper hand you see, I've got not only got 2 of Satan's devils as my prisoner, but I've set it so that should he get involved it'll be the death of millions of his citizens and followers" said Cynthia.
"Nice try, but we've evacuated all of the people from your casino, plus that devil Beeqok is calling their boss as we speak" said Aqua, "Perfect I want him to witness as my Skinwalker here not only drains these 2 devils of their power, but him going on a destructive rampage that they'll be nothing left, no strip, no body, no nothing so now I'm going to start by having him sap the power and life force out of Monet" said Cynthia as the Skinwalker continued to squeeze Monet as red aura and energy began to flow into the monsters eyes.
"Monet" said Scex Pistal as he reached out in fear and horror, "Scex…Pistal…" said Monet weakly as he to tried to reach out for him.
"If I were you 2 I'd take this time to get a head start and flee while you can" said Cynthia smugly as Kazuma began to glare at her as Aqua looked down and felt her trigger finger itch real bad.
"You're not getting away with this" threatened Kazuma, "Yeah, you're going down" said Aqua, "And how do you propose to do that" asked Cynthia sarcastically and haughty like.
"By doing this" said Kazuma as he and Aqua whipped out their rocket launchers and fired directly towards the Skinwalker as it was pushed back and released its hold on Monet and Scex Pistal.
"Don't just stand there, kill them already" order Cynthia to the monster as it began to transform into a giant owl that let out a loud screech that was causing Kazuma and Aqua to shield themselves.
Flying its way towards the duo, it was ready to consume and kill them, but didn't anticipate Kazuma to swiftly move around to grab on its wings and climb his way on its back where he began to lay suppressing fire.
This gave Aqua the chance to start lobbing away with her grenade launcher as it further aided in bringing down the beast.
"No you stupid idiot, get him off your back before killing him" Cynthia said angrily, as the Skinwalker began to spin around while flying, causing Kazuma to fall off.
Thankfully he managed to wall jump down to safety before continuing his onslaught in trying to kill the monster, as it crashed into the ground.
"Did we get it" asked Aqua, before they heard a more ferocious roar as it was revealed that the Skinwalker turned into the biggest bear ever conceived as it was charging it's way at them.
"That's right, finish them off" said Cynthia as she could already taste victory, since neither Kazuma or Aqua's weapons were doing damage.
"Shit, it's not backing down" Kazuma said worriedly as Aqua decided to step forward and charge her fist, "God Requiem" shouted Aqua as she landed a straight punch towards the monster.
To her surprise as everyone else's, it worked beyond words as the monster layed on the ground in a haze.
"Hit it again before it decides to get back up" said Kazuma, "Mind giving me a boost for this next one" said Aqua as she began to crack her knuckles, "Sure thing".
Lowering his hands down a little, Aqua made some light distance before running forward and placed her foot in Kazuma's hands, before he lifted them up and sent Aqua sky high as she was now above the Skinwalker.
"Take this, God Redemption" shouted Aqua as she began to descend down to elbow drop on top of the Skinwalker using an attack that carries a goddesses pride and dedication to hard work through blood, sweat, and tears.
The blow proved to be fatally affective as the monster howled in pain as Aqua began to roll off its head and landed perfectly in Kazuma's arms princess style.
"I thought I heard something crack when I landed on him" said Aqua, "Yeah I think you did break something" said Kazuma as the Skinwalker reverted back to its original form to reveal that there was an indeed a dent in its head as it gripped it in pain.
"Walk it off and finish them off already" ordered Cynthia as the Skinwalker was crying and howling in pain as it gripped its head.
"Time to finish this thing off already" said Kazuma as he and Aqua continued to shoot at it, to Cynthia's annoyance.
"That's it, enough of your guys' shit" said Cynthia as she pulled out a golden Deagle and pointed it towards Aqua, before pulling the trigger.
In a moment of chivalry and selflessness, Kazuma stood in the way and attempted to pull a Bruce Lee in catching the bullet with his bare hands.
The end result was him getting half his hand torn off, along with all his fingers, except his thumb as he heeled over and gripped his hand in pain.
"Son of a bitch that was so stupid of me!" shouted Kazuma as Aqua knelt down and began to comfort and heal Kazuma.
"Then consider it you final mistake" said Cynthia as she was ready to put both Aqua and Kazuma down, as Kazuma began to smile in pain.
Grabbing Aqua's grenade launcher, and using the power bestowed onto him by Beeqok, he only needed one shot to deliver an explosion that was on par with a rocket launcher, as evident since that delivered a killing blow to gib both Cynthia and the Skinwalker.
"We did it" cheered Aqua as she hugged Kazuma, who didn't say anything as he finally passed out in pain and in blood loss, "Kazuma!?".
Later
Waking up after who knows how long, Kazuma found himself in a different, more fancier hotel room, as Aqua was coming out of the bathroom.
"Oh hey, you're finally awake" said Aqua with a smile, "Yeah" said Kazuma as he scratched his head and realized his hand was put back together again.
"So what I missed" asked Kazuma, "Well after we killed Cynthia and the Skinwalker, Beeqok showed up and Monet and Scex Pistal got back on their feet and decided to have their wedding on the spot.
"Oh shit, I missed the wedding" said Kazuma as he felt guilty for passing out like he did, "No worries Beeqok had recorded the whole thing and gave us a copy to see" said Aqua as she began to insert the DVD into the TV of their room.
The video began to play showing both Monet and Scex Pistal facing each other as Aqua was going to be the one to deliver and officiate it.
"We're gathered here today, in a bloody arena and dead ex's to bring together these 2 handsome devils, god I can't believe I just said that" said Aqua on the TV as she couldn't behave herself even for just a little.
"Monet, do you take this man to be your lawful wedded husband" said Aqua, "I do" answered Monet as he began to put the ring on his partners finger.
"Scex Pistal, do you take this man to be your husband" said Aqua, "Damn right I do" said Scex Pistal as he put the ring on Monet's hand.
"Then by the powers vested in me as the goddess of water and leading goddess to the Axis church, I know pronounce you two grooms for all eternity, you may now kiss your husband" said Aqua.
Ignoring how Aqua was show boating, it was a sweet moment Kazuma regret not being conscious for as both Monet and Scex Pistal kissed, that is before he could hear the sounds of Beeqok crying as he held the camera.
"Man now I feel even more bad that I missed it" said Kazuma, "They felt equally bad that you took a bullet for all of this" said Aqua as she held Kazuma's hand, surprising him.
"Personally I thought for a brief minute that you were actually cool for once" said Aqua with a smile as Kazuma's bewildered face turned into a smile as well, "Thanks Aqua" said Kazuma.
"So exactly where are we staying at now" asked Kazuma, "Well sense the Devil's Playground no longer exist as it's been condemned and destroyed within the same hour, we had to not only move to a different hotel, but Monet and Scex Pistal started their honey moon, while Beeqok and Azay went back to work" said Aqua.
"Ok so where does that leave us" asked Kazuma, "Well they said as thanks for saving their butts, we don't have to continue our journey back in Hell until Monet and Scex Pistal end their honey moon, which will last for about a good 3-4 weeks" said Aqua as Kazuma smiled even wider.
"I guess we got time to relax and gamble here and there, just promise me you won't rack up any debt while we're here alright" said Kazuma, "Hey so long as we get to enjoy Burrito Gong, day trips at the spa, and all the wine I can drink I call it fair trade" said Aqua.
"Alright sounds good" said Kazuma as he was ready to start their day, before sitting back down in bed, "On second thought I'm tired let's get a head start tomorrow".
"Ok fair enough, but I'm going to pick up some Burrito Gong, want anything in particular" asked Aqua, "Tacos please and those cinnamon twists" said Kazuma as both smiled towards one another and enjoyed the first day to their vacation.
Well there you have it guys, I hope you enjoyed this installment of Heathen to Hero first ever special, don't know when I'll continue writing more, but stay tuned for the January 5th update, an annual tradition of mine where I leave updates, teasers, and explanations to future plans and installments.
Otherwise please leave me your guys' thoughts as to what you thought of this chapter, be it the story, the characters, or whatever.
This has been your Humble Narrator. =3