A Grand Affair

Chapter Three: Airborne Conversing

Heero sat back as the plane took off. Next to him, Duo looked out the window eagerly. Heero hated flying on commercial airplanes. He had no idea who the pilots were, what kind of condition the plane was in or the actual weather they would be flying into.

"Man," Duo sighed happily. "This is going to be great."

Heero wished he could agree. For Quatre and Duo it would be the two weeks from heaven. For Heero and Trowa it would be two weeks of hard reconciliation and getting-to-know-you-even-though-we-were-pilots-together. Needless to say, zero-one and zero-three were never that close.

Heero smirked. It seemed that the odd numbered pilots were always the odd ones out, and at odds with each other. What an odd coincidence. Visibly, Heero cringed. He had just mentally spoken his first pun. What was next? Slapstick humor? No, never that, he vowed.

"Who would have thought that Trowa knew how to speak Spanish?" Duo exclaimed. "I always wondered why they bought a house in Spain when neither knew the language. Guess I was wrong!"

"Don't you know some Spanish?" Heero asked conversationally.

"Sí. Yo hablo un poco de Español," Duo replied quickly.

Heero didn't know a word of it. At least one of them did.

"But just because they don't speak English doesn't mean the paparazzi doesn't," Heero reminded before he instantly remembered he had told himself not to bring that up again until he had a solution.

"Yeah, pictures are universal," Duo agreed. "But their expansive property should be private enough."

Heero nodded and swallowed hard to allow his ears to pop. He pulled a novel out of his backpack and began to read as Duo put music in and tried to sleep. Occasionally, Heero glanced over at Duo to make sure the young and flexible man hadn't slipped into a position that would cause him to hurt for days once he woke up. Duo's head rested on the tray table, atop his forearm. He had an extremely angelic look when he slept. Heero found he was reading less and less of his book even as he continued to methodically turn the pages.

"Excuse me, sir, refreshment?"

Heero snapped out of his trance. "Water is fine."

"Heero Yuy?" the stewardess asked in alarm.

"Yes."

"I wouldn't have expected you to fly commercially!"

"We're on vacation," Heero replied. Shit. Shit. Shit. God, sooner or later it was going to be his fault if they got caught. Here he was, talking like he and Duo were a single unit.

"Is that Duo Maxwell?"

"Yes, it's a reunion of sorts," Heero replied a little awkwardly.

"Wow. Well, if there's anything we can get for you to make you more comfortable on our flight today…"

"No, I'm fine. Thanks."

"Of course," the elated stewardess replied, already hurrying back to tell her friends who had decided to pop up on a commercial flight.

Heero groaned and tilted his head back. Shit again. How long was the plane flight again? Six hours? Good God.

Duo inhaled deeply as his body came back to life. Groggily he looked up. "How long was I out?"

"Only two hours. We have four left."

We. There was that word again. Heero, you were never this careless with your words. What's gotten into you? He scolded himself. Love, he thought forlornly. And the desire to be as careless as I want. I'm tired of worrying, of lying…I'm…tired of this life.

"Heero, what's wrong?" Duo asked in a low voice.

"Just went down a dark road momentarily," Heero replied gruffly.

"That's been going on a lot lately," Duo pointed out in a bare whisper.

"I know," Heero snapped, frustrated.

"Talk to me," Duo pleaded softly.

Heero was suddenly grateful that they had been put in the last row of first class. It gave them three sides of isolation though, there were people diagonally to their right. Heero sighed.

"I'm just sick of living this life."

"What kind of life do you want?"

"The stereotypical one."

"You mean, steady day job, little white house with a white fence, a dog, children and a—a…" Duo died off, stuttering to a halt.

"A wife?" Heero finished bitterly. "No, that part I do not want. But yes, everything else as unlike me as it sounds."

"Heero, you're confusing yourself with who people think you are and who I know you are."

Heero sighed and stole a quick glance as his supportive beauty. God, he would never deserve him. Not in a million years.

"Sometimes I wonder if I should just come out. You know…Just, not even say anything. Just buy that house and move us in. Get married. And let people talk, try to hang onto my job."

"Marquis wouldn't fire you," Duo pointed out. "He already knows."

"But my reputation is still spotless," Heero explained.

"I doubt he'd let you go."

"I doubt so too…so, why am I so afraid?" Heero growled, putting two hands over his face and pressing hard as though to counteract the pressure he felt building and pushing out of his head.

Duo bit his lip and looked out the window. A single tear welled up instantly and slipped down his cheek. "Because…because…there's always a c-chance that…"

"Don't even say it, Duo," Heero commanded in an icy voice.

"That if war ever started up again they'd use me to get to you a-again," Duo finished as though Heero had never spoken. His face went pale and he titled his wrist to show where the shackles had scarred him from his struggles.

"Fuck," Heero spat, clasping the wrist to hide the scars. "It's not my reputation I'm worried about, or my well being. It's yours! I want to protect you but slowly, I'm slipping up, I'm relaxing…"

"Heero, I'm stronger now than I was then."

"And you mean a lot more to me now than you did then. Duo you have no idea what it was like, running in there and seeing you like—like that."

Duo lowered his head. "Not exactly a pretty picture."

"Duo, for Christ's sake, you were strapped down to a metal slab, wrists bleeding, whipped, naked, gagged, and…and…"

"Raped," Duo finished numbly. "But we're not in wartime anymore."

"For which I am grateful," Heero added quickly. He had killed every person in that building by hand and unbeknownst to Duo, had disposed of the torturing rapist slowly. Very, very slowly. Heero never wanted the darker side of him to ever come out again. "It was me they were after…" he murmured hollowly.

"There is valid reason to be afraid, Heero, but everyone lives in fear of something. That's life. We can't keep running from it. I like your idea; just begin living the life you want to live and let everyone just get over it already."

"What would that say about Relena? About the Preventers?" Heero mused.

"No one would hold it against Relena. I'm sure they'd all pity her anyways. And the Preventers? Hey, I'm sure once you're out of the closet, you'll be hearing the truth when preventers come to you requesting a permanent partner in the field."

Heero shook his head. There was something else nagging at him. Perhaps he was worried about his own reputation. Maybe he was afraid of being scorned in the public eye. Maybe…he was really afraid of exposing himself.

Heero stilled. Yes, that was it. There was no denying it. Hiding Duo was like hiding the most private and valuable part of his life. Exposing that secret was like bearing his soul to the world. For the millionth time in his life, Heero truly wished he had never become famous.

Under the tray, Duo entwined his hand with Heero's. "I love you," he whispered. "We've been through more than most couples in a lifetime ever go through. Perhaps we should forget the reasons not to and start thinking of the reasons why we should do what we want."

"Those are endless," Heero sighed wistfully.

"Exactly," Duo emphasized with a slight squeeze to his partner's hand. Slowly, Duo put his head back down. "Wake me when we get to Spain."

"Okay," Heero agreed softly. He didn't release Duo's hand but instead hid it with a jacket. The idea sickened him, the thought that he was being a coward. But an airplane was the last place he wanted to start his new life.

"Your water, Mr. Yuy. Sorry about that wait."

"It's fine," Heero replied, watching as she put the water before him.

"Would you like me to get a pillow for your friend?" she asked sweetly.

"He's fine for now, thank you."

"If you need anything just flag me down!"

Heero nodded before he turned his attention back to Duo. The man's head was turned away from Heero but his hand still gripped his.

It's time to let go of the lie, Heero told himself. Not for yourself. For Duo. It would be only the first tiny step away from the debt you owe him. You love him. So give him this much at least.

Because, in truth, until they were free to live their own lives they really didn't have a relationship. They just had some kind of…Heero groaned, his headache roaring back to life.

They had just some kind of, "Grand affair," Heero whispered, haunted.

That's all it was. An affair. Something petty and indulgent. That was not how he wanted his relationship with Duo to be categorized. At one point a few years ago, yes, that would have been fine. But now? Heero loved Duo. More than words could ever describe. And a hidden relationship was no way to harbor those feelings.

A grand affair.

One that's time was going to come to an end. Fast.

(O)(O)(O)

Sorry, sorry, sorry. Short chapter. Review if you find it to your liking. Thank you SO MUCH to all of you who have reviewed so far. I honestly wouldn't continue without your encouraging remarks! Stay tuned for the next chapter soon, the first BIG TWIST is going to make its appearance! Wonder what it is? I hope you do!

Thank you so much to, Lina, Muchacha, Dyna, F. Jane, Ms. or Mr. Datanali, TKM, and Valkyrie for your comments. Truly, they are greatly appreciated.