Leaving Home

"Up and at 'em, Vyv!" Mike called as he made his way past Vyvyan's room. He stopped and waited for a reply. None came. He sighed and called for Rick who was already awake "Rick, go help Vyv wake up, will you?"

Rick did a goofy salute "Yep! Will do, Mike!" and trotted up to Vyvyan's door, which was marked with a tattered sign saying:

Piss off, Rick, you poof…

Frowning at the welcome note, Rick tapped gently on the door "Vyvyan? Vyvyan? It's time to get up!" The silence was like an insult "Vyvyan!" still nothing. Rick sighed angrily and pounded the door hard with his fist "VYVYAN! YOU BASTARD! GET UP!"

There was a shuffle inside but that was it.

"That's it, Vyvyan!" Rick shouted "I'm coming in!" He began throwing his body into the door in an attempt to break it down. He'd seen Vyvyan do it loads of times before. However, Vyvyan didn't fall back and start whimpering like a kicked puppy on the floor, which was exactly what Rick did after his collision with the door. He got up again and continued trying to break in.

Neil walked past "Morning, Rick."

"Shut up, hippie!"

"Oh, alright." He turned to go down the stairs but looked back at Rick "Why are you trying to break Vyvyan's door down?"

"None of our business!" Rick growled, a little out of breath, leaning into the door "Go rescue some nature or any other crap that hippies do!"

Neil looked confused and reached for the doorknob of Vyvyan's door. He turned it and it opened slightly, signaling that it was never locked in the first place.

"Oh…" Rick stuttered.

"I don't think it was locked, Rick." Neil stated the obvious and trumped downstairs.

Rick stuck his fingers up at Neil as his back was turned "Stupid hippie." He muttered as he entered Vyv's room "God, it stinks in here."

As predicted, Vyvyan was still sleeping on his bed, upside-down as usual, snoring like a maniac.

Rick bent down and screamed into his ear "WAKE UP, YOU BASTARD!"

"AAAAHHH!" Vyvyan yelled, startled by Rick's shout "You stupid git!" He grabbed Rick's head and head-butted it.

"OW!" Rick fell back, on the floor, holding his head.

Vyvyan rolled over and started to snore again.

"Oh no, you don't you metal-headed fascist!" Rick growled, ripping the covers off Vyvyan and beginning to kick him in his back "Get, up, you, bastard!" he said with every kick.

"Alright! Alright, alright! I'm up!" Vyvyan surrendered pushing Rick out of the way and violently made his way downstairs, breaking part of his door as he punched it, and kicking at the banisters of the stairs.

He jumped the last five steps causing him to land on all fours and rolling into the wall opposite the steps. He banged into it hard.

"Hey, Neil? What's fer breakfast?" he asked casually even though he was upside-down, against the wall with his legs dangling in front of him.

"Lentils, Vyv." Neil said plainly, as he slaved away at the stove.

"Not again!" Vyvyan snarled standing up and cracking his back. He looked around "Where's Mike?"

"Oh, uh…" Neil looked up "I think he must've gone out to get the paper."

Vyvyan sat at the kitchen table scratching his head "But we always make you do it."

"Yeah, yeah, I know, but he was in a real rush. He didn't even want any lentils."

"Who would want lentils, Neil?" Rick came down.

"Well, you and Vyv always eat them anyway." Neil tried protecting his lentils since that was all he ate and he respected them.

"Only 'cuz there ain't nufink else to eat!" Vyvyan shouted.

"There's cereal." Rick suggested, taking a seat at the far end of the tiny table.

"Nah, S.P.G ate it all."

Neil handed out bowls of lentils and took his with him on the floor where he always sat.

"You should feed him more often then!" Rick sneered, eyeing the lentils hungrily even though he didn't like them.

"I don't wanna spoil him! And when has it been your business anyway?" Vyvyan snapped, spitting saliva that landed in Rick's bowl of lentils. He grabbed a knife and started stabbing at his own bowl of lentils absent-mindedly.

"Ugh." Rick murmured, pushing the bowl away from him.

A few minutes past as the three college misfits ate their breakfast in silence.

"Well, Vyv, you'd best be leaving for you're new job now." Neil mubled, mouthful of lentils.

Vyvyan let out a long, agonizingly annoying groan of frustration, mainly to annoy Rick but also because he hated all this job nonsense "I can't be bothered!" He slammed his bowl on the table.

"Now, now, Vyvyan. No need to have a paddy now, is there?" Rick smirked.

"Shut it, poof!" Vyvyan shot back. He disappeared in the corridor and reappeared holding a suitcase.

"What's that for?" Rick asked, getting up from his chair to have a closer look at the case. Neil went over too, washing a bowl with a soggy teacloth.

"It's all the stuff I'll need fer my job." Vyvyan answered miserably.

"I didn't know you could pack!" Rick replied, shocked.

"Nah, I didn't do it, Mike did."

"Yeah, Mike then handed it to me for me to pack…" Neil grumbled walking away.

"Where is Mike, anyway?" Rick asked, previously oblivious to the absence of his comrade.

"Dunno." Neil replied "He might've gone out to get the paper."

"But we always make you do it." Rick said confused.

"I know!"

"No need to get grumpy, Neil!" Rick mocked. He then turned to Vyvyan "Well, I'll be seeing you this afternoon then."

"Yeah, whatever." Vyvyan picked the case up "G'bye Neil!" He waved "See ya, ploppy pants!" he said to Rick.

"Haha, very funny Vyvyan!" Rick folded his arms.

Vyvyan left the house and closed the door loudly, more like a slam. Rick sighed angrily and sat beside Neil on the sofa in front of the T.V.

"He's a right old bastard. Isn't he?" He said, crossing his legs.

"Yeah, yeah." Neil mumbled too busy watching a hippie flick on the television.

And so, Vyvyan leaves the house, all means of safety and security…

/\ /\

.. Grr

W