Chapter Warnings: Language, implied suicidal thoughts/actions
A Grand Affair
Chapter Five: The Space Between Salvation and Salvaging
Heero held the stark white paper in his hand but his eyes had drifted past the black writing that confirmed his future. All he could think about was Duo. Heero had moved out of the apartment before Duo had returned home from Spain and had taken up lodgings in the Sanq Kingdom in Relena's house to calm the rising accusations against the former royalty figure.
Heero blinked rapidly as he watched a splash of water hit the paper. He was falling apart. He could barely eat. He hardly slept. He was already looking into taking antidepressants to keep his mood even. He felt bitter towards everyone, even the innocent child just barely starting to show on Relena's abdomen.
How many pictures were there of Heero and Relena baby shopping or Heero checking Relena's stomach? All of them Duo would have surely seen.
It had been four months. It seemed like four centuries. Each day drug out longer and longer and Heero began to understand why people went to church to avoid Hell if it was anything like this. He'd start going to church, too. At least it was something to believe in that wouldn't shatter him if his hopes were let down.
No, that was an understatement. Heero could recover from being let down. He could not, however, recover from a broken heart. The doctor was already saying Heero was suffering from acute brain trauma stimulating cardiac complications. And with his recent habit for malnutrition and insomnia, Heero was on his way to a short life.
Basically, Heero was dying of a broken heart. He knew it had been scientifically proven but he had scoffed at the time, not believing a word of it. He hadn't had a heart anyways to break. And now he was staring at the glittering shards all around him. Everything reminded him of Duo. Meals would trigger memories, movies, TV shows, crosses, anything. Things that didn't even relate to Duo.
Duo had resigned from the Preventers immediately upon his arrival home and disconnected the number to the apartment. Heero knew that Duo would have moved by now. He just hoped beyond hope that Duo was alive and well. Nausea gripped Heero fiercely as he thought through all the terrible scenarios Duo could be in right now. The worst being death.
"Heero?"
Heero's head shot up and he looked through dead eyes at Millardo who stood the doorway, having clearly been standing there for several minutes. There was a lot of sympathy in his voice and Heero wondered if he truly looked that bad to merit that kind of talk from a former enemy.
Millardo studied the paper that Heero had dropped onto the desk. His sharp eyes caught a single tear drop that obstructed the paper in one place. He had been angry with his sister when he had found out about her carelessness but he had become furious with her when he realized that she had drug Heero back into hell because she was a coward.
The strong man was falling apart before his very eyes. Heero Yuy had looked stronger strapped down to a surgical table, near death and seemingly unconscious from bullet wounds. But Millardo understood it was the ultimately mental wounds that killed a strong man and Heero seemed to be helping along his condition. Heero didn't want to live. Not like this. Millardo felt like forcing Relena to get that abortion now more than ever.
He should be truly mad at the doctor that revealed the analysis that said he had confirmed Relena's pregnancy. If he had kept his promise of secrecy Relena could have had a quiet abortion and all would be as it should.
"I didn't even have to sign it…" Heero murmured, pushing the paper aside. "I'm married to Relena Peacecraft and I didn't even have to sign my name to the document."
Millardo walked into the office and picked up the certificate of marriage. Sure enough, they had used Heero's signature stamp that did carry legal merit.
"They even listed me as Former Gundam Pilot Zero-One incase I decide to ever adopt my real name back again."
Millardo's eyes widened in shock. "My sister did that?"
Heero looked up at Millardo and then sat back. "Yes, who else?"
Millardo set the paper back down. "When is the actual wedding?" he asked in a low voice.
"Next Sunday."
Millardo just nodded and began to back out of the office. He stopped and sighed heavily. "I know you don't want to hear about this but perhaps it will give you peace of mind."
Heero just scoffed.
"Duo's alive and physically well. He's working back with Howard on the Florida Coast in the United States."
Heero sat forward despite his efforts to hide it. "How do you know?"
"We just received a shipment of eight mobile suits from them. Duo's name was signed in his large John Hancock as one of the mechanics."
Heero felt momentary relief before he just fell back into despair. He sat back once again and just lowered his head, eyes falling closed. He could see Duo so clearly in his mind. He could picture Duo, head bent, sweat-soaked bangs covering his eyes as he worked hard to repair Deathscythe. When he opened his eyes again Millardo was gone.
(O)(O)(O)
Millardo stormed into Relena's lavish office and threw a manila folder down on her desk.
"What's this?" she asked in a lighthearted voice. When she looked up her heart didn't feel so light any longer.
"It's Heero's latest doctor report. Go on, read it."
Relena slowly opened it up expecting to find something about cancer or heart disease. What she read caused her cheeks to flush in guilt and her hands to begin to shake.
"Do you need the English version or do you understand?" Millardo demanded.
"What was I supposed to do?" she exclaimed, throwing her hands down on the desk as she stood. "I couldn't abort the child once it was announced to the public and when the father disappeared as the public asked for him I could only answer Heero to save myself and all I represent!"
"No, you were just thinking about yourself. The Preventers and peace will remain in view even if you fall and you know it! Relena, you're killing him!"
"I am not! If he would just start eating and sleeping a little more…" she died off.
"My sister has been many things, and all things I was proud of. But never was a sister of mine a coward and a liar. You made a mistake and you should have stood up to it! Not hid behind an innocent man!"
Relena bowed her head as she felt tears begin to burn her eyes. She knew very well what she was doing but she had been able to convince herself time and time again it was the right thing. But now more than ever she was not able to ignore it like she had been for the last few months.
"Do you want to visit his grave knowing you were the one who put him there?" Millardo demanded. "Do you?"
"No," she whispered softly. "I just don't understand why he's so…"
"He's been in love with someone else for years, Relena, and you separated them permanently. Heero's married to you without even his real signature—"
Relena's blush encompassed her neck and Millardo's glare became hotter. "And now he's about to raise a child that's not even his."
"I had no idea…" Relena started.
"But you never gave him a chance or an option, did you?"
"Stop it!" Relena screamed. "Are you my brother or a judge?"
"I'm both Relena because someone needs to force you to look at the damage you've caused," Millardo growled.
"Then what the hell do you suggest I do?"
"Let us track down the real Antonio Verducci and bring him forward, do a paternity test and then for your part, tell the truth."
That was the right thing to do and Relena knew it. She had known that was the only just thing to do but that would mean facing public slandering. She dropped back down into her seat and wiped angrily at her eyes before looking back at her brother.
"That's easy for you to say; you're not the one with the child."
"And you're not the one suffering innocently either. This isn't about you anymore, Relena. You've drug someone else into your problem and you are now responsible for him. He's dying, Relena, and if you don't want to dye that wedding dress black for the funeral then I suggest you right your wrong."
Millardo turned sharply on his heel and began to stalk out of the office, too angry to continue to pound logic into his sister's head. He needed to kill something. Red was beginning to creep into his peripheral.
"Just tell me who," Relena murmured.
"What?" Millardo barked, looking over his shoulder.
"I swear never to repeat the name if you just tell me who he was in love with."
Forgive me, Heero, Millardo thought bitterly. "Duo Maxwell."
Relena held in a gasp as her brother left. Heero was gay? And if it was Duo, then the relationship must have been going on for years…
Relena sat back and closed her eyes. She was being a coward but… Her hand fell on the tiny bump in her womb. The real problem was…was it wrong to bring a child into a lie or into a scandal?
With all the self loathing in the world Relena hit the send button on her email, not ever looking to see her dark deed.
To: Commander Heero Yuy, Preventers Dept.
Subject: Wedding Vows
(O)(O)(O)
"Duo! Duo, it's for you!" Howard called towards the waves.
Duo emerged with loose hair and surfboard in arm. His body was well tanned now from being constantly in the sun but he was thinner than Howard wanted to admit. The boy wasn't eating well enough and spent energy he didn't have. The boy had been aging too quickly. He looked almost thirty-six now.
Duo took the phone with a sandy hand and held it up to his ear. "Florida Shores Mobile Suit Production Facility, Duo Maxwell speaking."
"Duo, it's Quatre. I just wanted to see how you were doing…"
"Oh, hey Q-man. I'm doing just fine. You caught me in the middle of my surfing break. What can I do for you?"
"Millardo wanted to contact you himself but he didn't think you'd do it if he asked."
"And I won't promise you anything either," Duo warned, his newly acquired temper surfacing.
Quatre sighed. "Of course, Duo, but I don't think you'll want to turn this down."
"I quit the Preventers, remember?"
"Yes, we all know that but Millardo has a plan to get Heero out of his predicament."
"The bastard didn't even say goodbye! What do I care? He could have told Relena no as well. He didn't even put up a fight."
Quatre felt his temper begin to rise as well. "Duo, Heero's near death. Millardo was able to get into Heero's medical records at Sanq Kingdom. The doctor diagnosed it as brain-slash-mental trauma that is causing heart disorder and quote, along with a malnourished diet and chronic insomnia, patient is in critical condition and no further medical assistance can be administered to save patient, unquote. The doctor even went so far as to recommend Heero write out his will."
Duo felt his resolution dissolve. That was just long, scientific mumbo-jumbo to say that Heero was dying of a broken heart and he wanted to. You can't save a person that doesn't want to be saved…
"I need to see him first. I don't need to talk to him but I need to see him before I decide to even hear your plan of action."
"Of course. Heero's bedroom is the one on the third floor, overlooking the ocean with a single lounge chair and glass table on the balcony."
Duo felt his neck tingle with agitation. Quatre was always uncannily one step ahead of everyone. "I'll call you later. Bye."
He hung up. No, this was not meant to happen. Duo was going to spend the rest of his days hating the Perfect Soldier for what he did to him, not feeling sorry for his ex-lover and risk breaking his heart all over again for the infuriating man.
No further medical assistance can be administered to save patient. Recommend Heero write out his will. Can't save a person that doesn't want to be saved. Third floor, balcony with single lounge chair and glass table…
"Hey, Howard," Duo started slowly as he walked into the large hanger that opened up to the beach.
"What can I do for ya?"
"Would you mind letting me have the weekend off? I know I was scheduled to work…"
"Duo, I didn't even want you to work here in the first place. Get lost!" Howard called cheerfully. "Just put the phone back on the charger before you leave."
Duo just shook his head with a small smile and walked over to the desk where the phone was connected to a loud microphone so they could hear it ring over the sounds of blowtorches, saws, hammers and the usual metal music playing.
"Some things never change," Duo muttered to himself, and by that, he didn't mean Howard as he walked out of the hanger to the beat up black Toyota waiting for him.
He meant Heero.
It had been four months. It was time to see Heero again. Dialing the seventh speed-dial number in his phone he held the mobile up to his ear as he roared out of the parking lot.
"Florida Shores Mobile Suit Transportation Department, Jake speaking."
"Jake, it's Duo."
"Oh! Duo, it's great to hear from you again."
Guilt filled Duo. He knew how Jake felt for him and though he had desperately wanted to return the handsome man's sentiments, he still couldn't. The man looked too much like Heero.
"Hey, I was wondering when your last plane was being sent out for the day to the Sanq Kingdom."
"Looking for a free ride?" Jake chuckled.
"Yeah, I'm looking to get to Spain this weekend and the Sanq Kingdom is our closest stop," he lied.
"Oh yeah, going to see your friends? That's cool. Yeah, we have a flight leaving in two hours if you can make it here by then."
"I will. Hold that plane and I'll fly it myself."
Jake laughed and agreed before hanging up.
"You had better be worth this Heero," Duo muttered.
But he already knew the answer to that.
Heero would always be worth it.
(O)(O)(O)
Author's Note: WOW! I cannot tell you all how much your overwhelming support has motivated me. Truly, your comments have inspired me! I cannot thank you all enough for your comments. All of them are truly constructive and gratifying. I would like to thank the chapter 4 reviewers: demonsbaby69777, Sailor Sayuri, camillian, mcl, Lina, F. Jane, RosefaerietaleRed, Modified Tam, shru, and WalkingEnmity. This was the last chapter of my slow rising action. Next chapter we'll kick it into high gear and start heading down the fast track, sound good? Hope so! You keep reviewing, I'll keep writing, and we'll see how this all turns out. Once again, thank you all so much!