Kagome's Bittersweet Symphony
Bittersweet Symphony by The Verve
'Cause it's a bittersweet symphony, this life
"He...doesn't love me...does he?" Kagome whispered to herself, eyes filled to the brim with tears that were dangerously close to spilling over as she watched Kikyo and Inuyasha embracing. Kikyo was facing her while Inuyasha had his back to her, Kikyo's eyes were closed, and her face actually looked...content.
Did I honestly think that he did at some point? He never stops thinking about Kikyo. I can be so naïve…
Trying to make ends meet
You're a slave to the money then you die
He just needs me to find the jewel shards... Kagome sadly thought as she gripped the trunk of the tree she was hiding behind tighter and tighter. The tears filling her eye started to drip down, one tear at a time. She was a good twenty feet away from the scene, but could clearly see them.
Inuyasha lifted his head as his ears twitched.
And now...well now, he has Kikyo to do that. I can be so stupid sometimes! Why did I think he cared about me? Inuyasha removed his arms from Kikyo and turned around to see Kagome standing behind the tree, only half of her body being concealed. He noticed that her knees were buckled, as if her heart was too heavy for her to stand upright. "Kagome." Inuyasha half-whispered her name. Kikyo only stared at Kagome with those unfeeling eyes. A small gasp left Kagome lips when he said her name. His eyes met hers. The full weight of the situation hit her.
He's staying with Kikyo, isn't he? She asked herself, not wanting to realize the answer. More tears fell down her cheeks as she severed the connection between their eyes.
And she ran.
I'll take you down the only road I've ever been down.
Kagome's feet carried her to the bone-eaters well, where she sat on the ground with her back against the frame; she hugged her knees to her chest. Her tears had been reduced to quiet sniffles. She stared numbly at the empty space in front of her, wishing that anyone, anything, would fill it. But more than anybody she wanted Inuyasha to. But he wouldn't be coming. And he couldn't rescue her this time. Her heart was shattered, and Inuyasha was the one who stole it, and slowly chiseled away at it until it broke into a thousand tiny pieces.
You know the one that takes you to places where all the veins meet, yeah
"I'll be back." Inuyasha said to Kikyo as he walked away. She only stared at him, her demeanor showing no emotions, and her mouth posing no words.
"Kagome?" Inuyasha walked into the empty space. But Kagome didn't feel it fill up; it still felt as empty and cold as ever. Maybe even colder. Her eyes focused on his figure and her irises began to tremble as his eyes met hers. She stumbled up off the ground and regained her balance as she stood in front of him. She opened her mouth to say something, but what was there for her to say?
I love you? How can I even tell him that...I don't have anything to say to him, I know everything he wants to say. It was obvious back there. She closed her mouth in defeat, as she looked down at the ground avoiding Inuyasha's eyes.
She leaned back to sit on the ledge, still facing him. Her legs dangled above the ground, and her hands gripped the frame. She slowly lifted her sad gaze from the ground to look at Inuyasha's face, but not directly at his eyes. He stepped forward.
"I..." He started to say.
What can I say to her? I don't even know how long she was there for. Did she hear everything? Kagome's eyes welled up with new tears as she watched him close his mouth, shutting away all his words. She looked at Inuyasha's eyes; they grew wider as he saw the tears in her eyes. Kagome's expression grew sadder.
She knew Inuyasha would never embrace her like he did Kikyo, would never love her like he did Kikyo. She let out a small sob as she swung her legs over the ledge, so they now dangled over the dark inside of the well. Her back was to Inuyasha, and she hesitated for a moment, hoping he would say something to make her stay.
But all she heard was the deafening silence that she wished she could break by screaming her lungs out, but she couldn't even bring herself to say a word much less scream. She gave herself a push, and went down into the well, blue light surrounding her.
She sat in the well of her era, on her knees, slightly trembling. She covered her face with her hands as she started to cry.
No change, I can't change
Why? Why can't I be more like her! More...more like Kikyo? She asked herself. Kagome never realized how much she envied the beautiful priestess, until that moment.
What can I do? What can I do to be more like her? She uncovered her face and looked at her trembling fingers as she shook her head.
I can't change, I can't change
"S-stop!"
I-I don't want...to be Kikyo, or anything like her! She lowered her hands, palms up, to her lap. She stared once again at the empty space in front of her, lost in her thoughts.
If Inuyasha loves her, and not me...I can't do anything to change that. I shouldn't...try to change myself. Or want to. I would want him to love me for being me, Kagome, not Kikyo. But he's always going to look at me and think of Kikyo, because I have her damned soul.
I am here in my mind
But I' m a million different people from one day to the next
I may have her soul...but, I'm nothing like her! I'm...I' m not the beauty she is, or have great priestess powers like her...and the powers I do have are only from inheriting her soul...but I'M NOTHING LIKE HER! I'M NOT KIKYO!...I'M...Kagome... She screamed in her mind, trying to deny that she had the soul of that wretched clay doll. Kagome shut her eyes tight, trying to erase the memory of Inuyasha and Kikyo holding each other.
I can't change my mind
No, no, no, no, no, no, no
"I'm Kagome! I'm not anything LIKE HER!" She yelled as she threw herself onto the ground, lying on her stomach. She grabbed handfuls of dirt, attempting to clutch the ground.
"But you love her for it." She whispered to the ground, but obviously meant for somebody else. Kagome started sobbing, she tried so hard not to, but couldn't stop it. She felt so inferior to Kikyo; she was always being compared to her because they shared the same soul. But she felt as though she fell terribly short of what she was supposed to be.
Well I never pray
But tonight I'm on my knees yeah
Kagome pushed herself back up using what little strength she had left, she felt exhausted. She sat with her knees on the floor, her thighs resting against her calves. Her front side, hair, and the side of her face had gotten covered in dirt, but she didn't bother to wipe it off. Even the dirt on her face that had turned into mud because of her crying, remained there.
"Why?"
Why can't you love me Inuyasha? When I love you so much… Why don't you love me?
I need to hear some sounds that recognize the pain in me, yeah
All of a sudden Kagome was surrounded by blue light. She wiped her face as she watched her surroundings.
What? Am I being taken back to the Feudal Era? She thought as she stood up, but she didn't feel like she was being transported back, her feet remained planted on the floor of the well.
No, more like someone is coming from the Feudal Era. One guess. Kagome blinked to make sure she wasn't hallucinating, that it was in fact Inuyasha standing in front of her.
He came for me? I thought he would've gone back to Kikyo...
"Why are you crying?" Inuyasha stupidly asked as he looked down at her puffy eyes and rosy cheeks.
I let the melody shine, let it cleanse my mind, I feel free now
Is he really that clueless? Kagome thought bitterly as she moved her gaze to his intent eyes. Or maybe he's playing dumb. No, it's not an act. She decided as she noticed how serious Inuyasha's eyes looked. A long silence filled the air, lingering with tension. Kagome just stared at Inuyasha, refusing to believe that he honestly didn't know why she was upset.
He really doesn't know how much it tears me up when he goes to see Kikyo. Kagome thought sadly. Or maybe he doesn't care. Her eyes welled up with new tears, but she fought them back, not letting herself cry in front of Inuyasha.
Inuyasha growled and took a step forward. "Would you say something!" He yelled, getting frustrated with the tension filled silence that had stretched on and on.
"What do you want me to say, huh? You want to know why I was crying! Because of you, Inuyasha!" Kagome cried out, she had gotten frustrated as well and it turned into anger. She was shocked at her out burst and stepped back against the wall of the well, and slid down to the floor. She stared straight ahead, not wanting to know Inuyasha's reaction.
She's crying because of me? Inuyasha blinked, surprised at what Kagome just said. He kneeled down to look her in the eye.
But the airways are clean and there's nobody singing to me now
"Is it because I was with Kikyo?" Inuyasha softly asked, not wanting to upset her. Kagome looked away and nodded her head.
"Why? Why does it matter to you?" Inuyasha asked. He had an idea why, but he wanted to hear her say it. He wanted to know that she cared about him too, like he cared about her. Kagome looked at Inuyasha, anger in her eyes.
"Do you honestly not know? Think of how I feel when you run off to see her! I feel so…so rejected!" Kagome said, still looking Inuyasha in the eye.
"You still haven't answered my question. Why does it matter to you?" Inuyasha sternly asked. Kagome's eyes flickered and she turned away again.
"Because I can't stand to think about you being with her…" She whispered.
"Because I care about you Inuyasha…I love you." Her voice dropped even lower when she said those last three words, but Inuyasha being a hanyou picked up every word. Kagome felt the tears spring out of her eyes.
Why did I just say that? He's only going to reject me…
"What?" Inuyasha whispered. He couldn't believe it.
I had no idea… Inuyasha put his hand on her chin and lifted Kagome's face to his own. He pressed his lips to hers, savoring the taste of them. Kagome's eyes widened when she felt his lips against hers, but she closed her eyes and returned the kiss. It was long and passionate, and Kagome felt all the sadness and pain she had been feeling disappear with that one kiss.
Inuyasha pulled back and stroked her cheek.
"I love you too Kagome." He said, loudly and clearly. Kagome's eyes widened in surprise, she smiled as wide as she could. Inuyasha put his hand to the back of Kagome's neck and pulled her in for another kiss.
A/N
So…like it? I've been working on it for like 2 weeks…I was listening to this song and I thought of Kagome. I'm so sorry the ending sucks! I'm really bad at ending stories. XD
But yay! They love each other! Woot!
Oh…. and sorry I didn't explain more about Kikyo and Inuyasha. I didn't have enough song. Well cause the rest of the lines are just the same ones repeated. But this was based on the scene from ep. 49 or 48? where Kagome sees Inuyasha and Kikyo. And he says all that stuff to her about her life belonging to him and stuff. It was really sad. :
But in this fic he doesn't love Kikyo. He just felt like he owed her because she died and he didn't. Something like that! XD
Please review! I know it's annoying to ask…but they make me happy! Yay!