Disclaimer: I do not own Skyrim! Bathesda does!
Beta'd By: No one yet..
Author Note: This should definitely make you guys happy xD or maybe not.. We shall see! Remember when I told you Skyrim is wrought with dangers? Remember when I said that? Well maybe soon you will find out why!
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Skyrim: A Cautionary Tale!
A Small Respite
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I walked into the Inn fully expecting to get that drink I was promised. But when I looked around I spied Bishop and one of the tavern girls chatting, he spotted me and walked over.
"Hey princess," Bishop said suddenly.
"Stop calling me princess, people will..." I began to scold him.
"Talk? I know," Bishop suddenly cut in. The tavern girl glared at me before suddenly rubbing her amble cleavage against Bishop.
"Your with her?" the girl asked. I clenched my teeth, how could he give everyone the wrong idea like that? "She doesn't look like much, come on I could give you a better time with these lovely ladies than that flat chested, broad could." I seriously wanted to punch Bishop for this, how could he put me in such a predicament?
"Hey this flat-chested broad is my fiancee," Bishop lied. "It's that right baby-cakes?" I grinned suddenly getting a particularly evil idea.
"It's fine lady you can have this womanizer," I replied, removing his hand and walking away toward the bar. I could feel the two glares at my back, as I walked away.
"Looks like my lovely bride to be is jealous," Bishop replied, in a teasing tone. I resisted the urge to turn around and give him what for. "Excuse me, little lady but I have a fiancee to woo." he moved up beside me and elbowed me as he sat down at the bar. "Seriously, can't you just follow my lead for once?"
"What fun would there be in that?" I grumbled. "Now go tell the nice lady I'm a male, before I break something." Bishop grinned.
"Because I'm not entirely convinced that your a male, sweetheart," Bishop replied. I clenched my teeth but bit back a snide remark. "Barkeep is there a bath in this place? My fiancee and I could use some privacy."
"It's in the back," She replied pointing to it. "There is also a bed in there, but there's only room for one person." She placed a mug of ale in front of Bishop, who passed it to me.
"I promised you a drink," he replied before ordering another. I shook my head and gulped down a whole third of the liquid. It really hit the spot, I could feel the tension bleeding out of my muscles. "So how about a bath and a nap before we hit the road again?" I set the mug down, and gave him a somber expression. "What? Don't tell me they have you on some other mission now."
I knew it he wasn't going to like it so I gave him the news about the pit fights before I explained the mission to him. He just stared at me with a blank expression for a long time and I decided now would be a good time to gulp a few more mouthfuls of the ale. I waited for what seemed like a long time before I heard him chuckle.
"Alright, princess," Bishop replied. "You win, but first how about that bath and a nap, then we go get that Dragonstone haul out some treasure and come back here."
"Seriously?" I asked. Bishop nodded but didn't reply, instead he downed his own drink.
"Look Karnwyr can take care of himself," Bishop replied. "And Bleak Falls Barrow isn't that far off." I felt guilty for taking him off course. "Well come on sweetheart, that bath awaits." He replied suddenly picking me up bridal style and carrying me to the room with the bath.
"What the hell do you think you're doing?" I asked him.
"Keeping up appearances, princess," he nodded to the tavern girl who was still glaring in their direction. Honestly I was so surprised by his strength that I didn't even think to struggle until we were hidden in the room. He laughed and set me on my feet before closing the door and watching me closely. "Well go on princess, prove your not a male.'
"Didn't you already see me naked?" I asked.
"Oh I didn't undress you at Riverwood, princess," he replied. "The innkeeper did, and when you showed off earlier there was other important issues to address, or did you forget?" I ran my fingers over the area and was surprised to feel stitches, so that's what he did. I grit my teeth then pulled off the tunic and then the pants, I looked over half expecting him to be surprised but all he did was smile and turn toward the door. "Go ahead princess, you bathe first and I'll guard the door." I growled at him before moving toward the bath, I ran my fingers through the water which were surprisingly warm before I got in. I sighed as I heard the door open and close again, there were voices outside but I ignored them and just enjoyed the warm waters. I spotted a sponge on the side and grabbed it dunking it in the water before scrubbing myself down really good. They didn't have much in the way of cleansing items but what they did have would suffice for the next week. I was honestly just glad to get the blood and dirt off of my body, cleaning the stink of travel was just a side benefit. I carefully cleaned my hair being mindful of the stitches. It was difficult but I did manages to clean out the dirt and blood that matted it. A loud slap, startled me and caused me to look at the door in curiosity. "No need to be like that, toots."
"Not your type? What is your type?" She asked incredulously.
"Women without such loose morals, sweetheart," Bishop replied. I snorted, at that, was he really and truly interested in women? It sure didn't seem like it earlier, I cringed remembering the way she looked at me and all those curious glances sent in my direction. Damn Bishop for his wiles, and his jokes. "Listen toots, I gotta get some sleep and I am not talking about sex, so move along already and pick on some other poor sucker. I'm not in the mood to continue to entertain a chatterbox tonight."
I climbed out of the water and dried off with large cloth that was sitting on one of the tables, before dressing in a clean set of cloths I had received earlier. I opened the door and Bishop turned to me. "I'm finished bathing. Want me to guard the door for you?"
He grinned and answered a bit louder than necessary, "Nah sweety, you go and lay down I'll be right in." I frowned before turning away from the door and heading to the small alcove where a bed sat. I laid down and tried to forget how stupid the ranger was acting, did he seriously believe this wouldn't backfire? I rolled over to face the wall before I finally began to drift off.
I felt the touch of a heavy hand on my rib-cage, trailing down to my hip and around to the back. I moaned as the hand gripped it tightly and pulled my cheeks apart. My eyes fluttered open on their own and there he was, Ulfric. When did he get to Whiterun? I looked around but the room was mostly fuzzy save for the huge bed we were on. "Where are we?" I asked.
"Don't you remember, love?" Ulfric asked. "I brought you to Windhelm, and we got married." I smiled as though I did remember.
"That's right, now I remember," I leaned forward kissing him tenderly as he pulled my leg over his body before rolling us both over so that I straddle him. "It still feels like a dream."
"Oh this is very real, love," Ulfric replied, squeezing my rear and forcing another moan from me. It certainly felt real and I wanted a piece even if this was a dream. I kissed him hard and was planning on stripping him myself but he was already naked and hard. I felt his member drooling on my back just waiting for me to take it's full length deep inside. I breathed out my excitement as I reached back to stroke and tease it. "Mmm, it seems like only yesterday, you defeated that dragon and saved Skyrim. Now all that is left is driving out the empire, once they're gone. There won't be anything in our way." I grinned as though I understood these concepts. I suddenly remembered something a voice speaking to me.
"If we got to Windhelm, we can capture our quarry and bring him to the empire personally," the voice said. I nodded and pointed at a particular city that I couldn't read the name of, the memory was too fuzzy. "Then our huge reward, my friend. We will be set for life, all the skoom.. I mean all the septums we can haul back."
"You're not still on that stuff are you?" I asked. "Skooma, that is."
"No-o-o, no of course not, my friend," the other male replied chuckling a bit insincerely. I frowned, he was my friend so I was worried about his health and skooma did weird things to Kahjiit. What was his name again?
"Remember something love?" the other asked.
"Purple fur," I mumbled. "Not important, my love." I kissed him deeply as I pushed my body to envelope his large member. I moaned as the head popped inside, it was so sweet to feel it there ready to fill me with it's seed. Ulfric suddenly rolls us back over and thrusts deeply into me shafting himself. The pleasure was almost overwhelming, I thought I would cum from it. Ulfric then began to thrust long and hard into me, the sensation made me hard and moan wantonly. I wanted this moment to continue until the end of time, locked in the sweet embrace of my lover, as he pounds me into oblivion. I kissed as the climax rose to a crescendo. I felt his growl and then it was as though he suddenly got even bigger, just before I felt myself being filled so full. I moaned into the kiss and came so hard that I sat completely upright. I rubbed the haze from eyes before I realized that I was still in the inn in Whiterun.
"Mornin' Princess, did you sleep well?" Bishop's loud voice from somewhere on the other side of the room. "It sure sounded like you slept well, all that moaning and groaning." I felt heat rise to my cheeks before I felt my pants and groaned. I made a complete mess of them from the feel of it, why did I have to have a wet dream? And that was just the topping of the cake, I was still hard to boot. I groaned and got up finding the cloth from last night, I decided to at least clean it off and change my pants. My erection would go away sooner or later, if I ignore it long enough. "So even you get morning wood, what do you know." Bishop said suddenly with a grin, I threw a random boot at him. He caught it with ease and tossed it near a table to his right. I gathered my own boots and redressed before grabbing my gear and heading for the door. I didn't really care if the other had gotten any sleep, I just wanted to get on the road. "Wait," Bishop said suddenly. I turned just as he pushed a set of leathers into my chest. "Wear that, cloth isn't much protection against wolves and other animals." I inspected the leather armor noting it was quite well made.
"Did you make this?" I asked.
"Yeah," he replied. "Now hurry up and change, I'll meet you outside." I frowned before Changing into a set of under clothes before fitting myself into the leather armor. It fit me surprisingly well and made me wonder if the other male hadn't done something to me to get my measurements. Once all the buckles were secured and my weapons strapped at my hips I grabbed my pack and headed out. I noted a couple leers from the men in the inn but chose to ignore the drunkards until one of them grabbed my ass cheek. I punched him and felt the satisfying crack of bone and watched as he slumped forward clutching his face. I looked around the room at the rest of them glaring but the rest suddenly decided to find something more interesting to stare at. The innkeeper came out as I was heading out the door. I wasn't there to start a fight but I will sure punch any idiot who tries. I rubbed my fist as it was aching from the contact as I exited and looked around for Bishop. I found him talking to another woman who must have approached him.
"Let's hurry," I said simply as I passed him by. I didn't even look back to make sure he was following. I reached the gate fairly quickly easily weaving through the traffic and passerby's. It wasn't until I finally exited the gate that I looked back before hopping down the wall to get back to the stables where I gave the midnight beauty another long look as I headed out. It was still dark out and honestly I wasn't sure why I was so concerned with keeping Bishop around but I was. I picked up the pace once I was certain the other male wasn't far behind me. We didn't have the luxury of time as I cut across country and between fields, I soon found the ledge I had hopped down and climbed back up Bishop was close behind. We made our way back toward Riverwood and I almost turned toward it when Bishop grabbed my arm.
"This way, princess," He said. "This path cuts it's way up the mountain." I nodded briefly without acknowledging his comment. We followed the path that wound up the mountain to the cold. I put on the fur gloves as it got even colder at this height. I was nearly shivering when I finally spotted the tower up ahead. Bishop pulled me to a halt however and wrapped a fur around my shoulders and secured it. He was wearing a similar fur cape. "There now we can keep going, but carefully. Looks like a great spot for bandits." I nodded, leading the way up.
A large orc male was up ahead leaning against a tree, he pushed off as we approached and brandished his axe with ease. "You picked a bad time to get lost, friend," The orc said grinning. His chest was nearly completely bear and the fur kilt did little to cover his legs. He even wore bracers that left his hands bare to the cold but at least he had a fur cape for his back. I smirked as he approached swinging the heavy axe that I quickly dodged. I pulled out my twin blades as an arrow lodged in the orcs back forcing him to lurch forward. I looked up to see a female bandit, he rounded on her and growled. "What'd you do that for?"
"To tell you to stop attacking every random traveler," she yelled. "Can't you tell they don't have a septum to their name?" I raised an eyebrow and put away my swords.
"Whatever, just get outta here," he growled at us. I looked back to shrug at Bishop who put away his bow and arrow. "Of course if you ever become a rich pompous ass feel free to return so we can steal your wealth." I sighed, not really caring to answer I passed by walking my way up the path even farther before looking back at the two who were now arguing on the bridge before he suddenly kissed her and pushed her back into the tower. I looked away disgusted, I guess even highwaymen could find love. I trudged on with Bishop shadowing my every move, when I crouched near the top where I spotted the ruin he too crouched and drew his bow.
"Bandits," He grumbled. I grinned and unslung my bow and notched an arrow as I spotted a bandit. I aimed carefully and let it fly, it struck him in the chest causing him to lurch forward in agony falling to his death. The sound alerted the other two which Bishop aimed at and shot one before I rushed forward. I notched another arrow and let it fly into a charging highwayman's arm. I cursed realizing this one was stronger and slung my bow pulling out my dual blades to face my opponent head on. Another arrow slowed his progress enough for me to slice into him. He dropped easy enough, so I checked his pockets and found a few bits of treasure and some gold as well as a few lock-picks. Those would come in handy later. I quickly located the other two and took whatever looked valuable before heading up the steps to a large door. "There will probably be more inside."
"That seems to be the trend," I replied sarcastically. I bodily pushed the door open and crouched as I walked in, Skeevers and lots of them all dead. I heard some voices up ahead and inched closer so I could hear them better.
"That Dark elf want's to go ahead, let him. Better than us risking our necks." the first bandit said. I peered around the pillar careful to not be spotted, he was a male nord and across from him was a female they were standing near a campfire. A clatter at my feet signaled that I had kicked over a stray pot. "Huh?"
"What was that?" the female Nord asked. They both looked in my direction, dang they definitely see me. I pulled out my twin blades as he charged me, I grunted as I tried to block the full body blow and barely managed to throw the weapon to my left side. That was close, I am certain he had enough strength to crush my skull with that. An arrow lodged in his shoulder, I took that moment to slice into rib cage and drop him to the ground. I then turned my attention to the female who was shooting arrows at us. I dodged behind the pillar and pulled my own bow, notching an arrow I waited til she took a shot at Bishop that missed before coming around and shooting her in the leg. She yelled out in her pain before another arrow hit her in the chest. I nodded to Bishop before checking the corpses to collect any ingredients and valuables they may have looted from here. I placed anything of value in my pack and their lock-picks, I even found some smoked meat that we could take for rations. Looking around I spotted Bishop going through a chest.
"Anything good?" I asked. He just grinned and held up what looked to be an enchanted shield. "Alright, let's go." We made our way down the next corridor slapping away some cobwebs and looting the urns, most of which were empty. I followed the corridor to the left and made my way through until a room came into view I stopped and motioned for Bishop to stop as well there was a bandit ahead. I watched as he carefully inspected the lever before pushing it forward. A trap several sounds hit the ground and many more lodged into the bandit who collapsed. I made my way forward to check for any sign of life but found none, I grinned and took anything he had of value before looking the room over. Looked like a puzzle room, I half wondered how the 'dark elf' had gotten through here. Not that it mattered, I was either going to find him as a corpse or have to kill him anyway. I noticed some stone etchings up above with the middle one missing. It had obviously crumpled to the ground at some point, two of them had a snake and the last one had a fish. I looked over to the movable pedestals one was a bird one was a fish and the last one was another bird. I turned the one to the right until it was a snake then the middle to snake as well then the last one to a fish. I motioned for Bishop to move the lever, he frowned but did as I told him. He flinched but no arrows and the gate rose up into the wall.
"Okay, I guess you're pretty lucky there, princess," Bishop replied. I sighed.
"It's called a puzzle Bishop," I replied and pointed out the stones. "They for the correct sequence."
"I knew that," he replied. "I was just testing you." I huffed before heading into the next room and picking up a potion and anything else of value to include a few septums and a book to peruse later. He had definitely been through here, as not much was left. Scurrying caught my attention, "Skeevers." I looked over at Bishop and nodded as I pulled out my bow. I tossed a rock at the wall, and waited. One giant skeever poked it's head out and charged at me but Bishop's arrow struck it I shot the next one and Bishop took out the last. I listened a little while longer before heading down the spiral walkway the skeevers had come up from. I grabbed the scroll and poison on the table before heading down the tunnel.
"Is someone coming? Is that you Agnier? Bjorn? Felise?" The voice asked desperately. I paused as I listened to the desperation. "Can you hear me? I need help!" I huffed as I continued down the corridor. I cut through the webbing to get into the room. "You there.. over here, there's a huge spider here. It up through that hole in the ceiling." I looked up to see the huge hole and some brownish rubble blocking it, I motioned for bishop to go to the other side of the room while I approached the hole. Movement, the huge brown blockade that I thought was rubble decided to slowly come down from the hole.
"Well shit," Bishop yelled as he shot an arrow into it's hard carapace it reared up and made a strange inhuman noise at Bishop but I cut into the nearest leg severing it. A pained cry and it lunged for me, I somehow avoided it's fangs but one of it's legs hit in the shoulder. I bounced off it and had to dodge yet another bite I heard Bishop firing very precise shots at the creature and decided it was better to keep dodging until I hit the wall of webbing. The sticky substance clung to me and I was unable to move. I dropped my blades and grabbed it's fangs with my gloved hands as it lunged at me. It took all my strength just to keep it from impaling my flesh. It backed off a bit before pressing forward once more. The fang grazed my armor just before it finally collapsed and shuddered as it curled up into itself. I went to grab my weapon but stuck fast to the webbing. "Well, well princess, what should I do in this situation?" I glared at Bishop as he eyed me. "Should I take my chances and take advantage of you? After all you did call me a womanizer at the inn back there."
"I am not a woman," I growled, lowly. Bishop got up close and personal before he sliced into the webbing at my back. And pulled me free, I grabbed my weapons as he walked away.
"I'm still not convinced, princess," Bishop replied. "Seems like you always need rescuing to me." I tested the weight of one my daggers by flipping it before I threw it. It flew past Bishops ear and stuck into the webbing near the trapped dark elf. Bishop turned with a look of shock on his face, "Is that any way to treat your savior?" he asked.
"Just go cut that asshole free," I replied with a smirk. I really was really starting to hate this Bishop guy. Bishop gave a cocky grin before going to slice the webbing around the other male. I walked up to them noticing the shiny golden claw the bandit had strapped to his waist. "That claw, where'd you get it?"
"Oh this?" the male asked. "I-I found it.." I glared at him, nothing that valuable would have been left in a place like this. "Thank you for saving me." the male said as the last bit was severed from his body. "Fools, I'm not sharing the treasure with anyone," he yelled while running off in the other direction. Bishop tensed but I placed a hand on his shoulder before sneaking past him very quietly. A yell went up and I grinned as the sound of footsteps ran back toward us. I easily grabbed the other male and pulled him to a complete stop. "The claw," I said holding out my hand. The male groaned but set in my hand. I let him go as more foot steps started heading our way. I looked over half expecting the other male to have left but he was still there and looking rather pitiful with his tiny dagger. "What are you doing?"
"You have my claw… so..." the male replied. I sighed and thrust my bow and arrows into his hands.
"Try not to shoot me," I replied. He nodded, looking very uncertain. I unsheathed my twin blades and moved forward into the room and around until the first of the undead creatures walked in.
"Draugr," Bishop spat. A stray arrow missed the undead creature and looked back to see our new companion was the culprit. Bishop's arrow however hit the mark and I easily sliced into it's rib cage killing it two more draugr came through this time the new guy actually hit one in the head dropping it.
"I-I did it!" he replied. I shook my head as I finished off the last one. I sheathed my weapons and inspected the claw. There were little symbols on it. Intriguing I thought as I put it away. I took anything of value I could find on the corpses. Well, they were always corpses just now they weren't moving corpses. We moved into the burial chamber and rounded up what septums and other valuables we could find. I kept careful eye on the suspicious, guy who was with us before moving on we ran into a few more draugr in another chamber and a swinging axe trap I motioned for everyone to wait before sprinting through and pulling the chain to stop the axes from swinging. I motioned for them to follow before moving on. We ran into even more draugr further on and some oil I used the lanterns above them to light. Killing five more draugr in the process, I grinned as I pushed forward until we reached a stream and what looked to be a cave system. I hefted the pickax that was on top pf a formation of iron ore. I assumed it was probably a miner that had died here as I saw the bones scattered round as well. Was it due to the mining that woke the draugr? Or bandits? I didn't really care, the dark elf grabbed the pickax from me.
"Don't mind if I mine this up do you?" he asked. I waved my hand at him and moved on ahead a bit to look for more danger. Another Draugr I spotted on a bridge down below the waterfall and I pointed him out to Bishop. The Ranger nodded and shot the creature who plummeted to it's death. The other male caught back up with us and I headed down and around along the path and across the bridge I even went down to the bottom of the waterfall to grab a few valuables from a chest that was there before heading back up and around to find a better armored corpse guarding a door. I snuck up before charging forward bring both arms down on the creature. It spun and easily blocked it knocking me on my backside and kicking me in the stomach. He yelled before heading toward my two companions, what in the nine hells was that for? Did that creature want to kill us? Luckily for me I didn't get to find out as Bishop finished the walking corpse before the dark elf came over and helped me up. He patted my body and instantly realized what he was trying to do. I pushed him off me and patted the pouch with the claw before holding out my hand.
"Claw," I growled. The male gave me a sour expression before placing it in my palm. I grinned and put it away before heading through the door. I heard the tell-tale sign of an axe swinging trap and motioned for everyone to stop. I ran through it easily and pulled the chain and was about to yell for them when black spots danced across my vision and everything went dark.
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*intercept's* Oh snap this one was a long one was a long one ya'll. Hope you guys liked that little teaser I put in there. Teehee! Anyway this is the next chappie and I hope to get the next one after this up and don't worry we will save Karnwyr! And maybe eventually we will run into another member of our crew.. also please don't ask how long Arvel the Swift will be with us normally players have to kill him but I wanted to do something different with him as you can tell. He is a dark elf and he is named so why does he have ta die? So ridiculous. Anyway do enjoy the silly shenanigans to come! Oh and of course the interesting exchanges in the future with a certain nord.. for those of you who are interested. I did a spellcheck, so hopefully, no spelling errors.