Disclaimer TEEN TITANS and all other related characters and material are the property of DC comics and Cartoon Network, I claim no ownership.

Chapter 9: World So Cold

By: Ansa

Terra woke up to a cold steely room, rather disappointed. Not so much that she woke up in such a sterile place, but rather that she woke up in the first place. She didn't want to be here, she didn't want to be anywhere but the unknown oblivion of what lies after death. She clenched her eyes tight and curled up into a tight ball, the warm blanket that hung over her moving with her, clinging to her still slightly damp clothing. Her eyes hurt, so very much so that the only way to dull the pain was to clench them so. When they were open for that split second, all she saw was a silver blur surrounding her in all directions. Most likely from the fall, she did know that her eyes were open when she hit the water, and dammit did it hurt.

"So you're awake finally? Maybe now we can get you out of those wet clothes." A young man's voice suddenly broke into her self pity, from her guess he was somewhere near the bed, but not too close as to be right next to her. Her ears didn't betray her; in fact, the Flash had been leaning against the far wall for quite some time keeping an eye on her. He left off purposely at that point in speech, knowing how suggestive it would sound, and hoping to get a little bit of life out of her. He was duly disappointed.

"Why didn't you just let me die?"

"You're welcome…" He shook his head gently and stood up, pulling up a chair and sitting down on it backwards. Her voice was weak and trembling, but then again, she had taken quite the nasty fall so it was expected. "Now, care to tell me why you were trying to visit Aquaman without an air tank?"

"What?"

"Why you jumped." The Flash frowned, his joke obviously not landing. Terra turned over on her other side, facing away from him and saying not a word. Her entire body was sore. She had to admit it was quite uncomfortable in these damp clothes, but she didn't think she would be able to dress herself. "Ok…maybe later then…can I get you anything? Um…that is anything except guns, razor blades, and rope."

"…no…"

"Aw come on, how about a fresh set of clothes? We ain't got much of that stuff around her but I'm sure I can find you something."

"…whatever...as long as you let me be afterwards."

"Fine." The Flash smiled and sat up, walking over to the door and shutting out the light before leaving. Terra could feel the cool of the dark surround her and relaxed slightly. The light only hurt her eyes even more, so this came to great relief. As she lay there she wept, wishing that she was not here. Why wouldn't God let her die? Was there even a God? At that moment, she hoped not…because she hated him so.

"That was excellent, thank you very much for the dinner." Starfire sat back into her chair and beamed across the table to Beast Boy, her hands planted in her lap as usual, and her belly quite full. Raven was still working on her dinner, but managed a smile between bites when Beast Boy's face lit up at the compliment. Even though cooking was more of hobby rather than a pursuit, he still carried a certain amount of pride in it.

"Really? Cause I actually made this one from scratch and was rather worried about how it would come out." Beast Boy sat back in his chair, scratching the back of his head. Despite his massive amount of pride he would much rather come off as modest instead of arrogant with anything.

"Really, why is that?"

"Well, I've been making a lot of packaged stuff lately." His head started to lower a bit, still looking quite embarrassed. Next to him Raven shot him a quick look, her fork halfway to her mouth.

"Oh?"

"Yeah, well...you know how it is."

"Hun…" Putting down her fork Raven's icy stare gave him goosebumps. He knew exactly what this was about and also that he probably went far enough with the subject. Money problems weren't exactly dinner conversation with old friends. If he didn't want to sleep on the couch tonight, it was best he ended things there. Meanwhile Starfire sat with a rather confused look on her face. It was clear she had no idea what he was referring to, but she didn't want to push it. From the look on Raven's face, she guessed it wasn't something she needed to know about.

"Sorry…So Star, what have you been up to lately?" Trying to break the awkward silence before it even started Beast Boy wiped his mouth and quickly brought up an easier topic to discuss.

"Hmmm? Oh…well. I suppose I am doing what I have always done." Starfire tried to hide her true feelings with a warm smile. It was true that she was still in the hero business, but that wasn't all. Unknown to her friends, after the split, things weren't so easy for the red-headed alien. At first she thought of heading to college as well, perhaps brush up on earth customs and history so she didn't feel so out of place. Unfortunately college required money, money she didn't have. Raven and Beast Boy had the same problem, but since there was two of them, one could work while the other went to school. Starfire, had no such partner. She supposed that Robin, now Nightwing, would have helped her…but she wouldn't have been able to accept it.

So, with no money, no education, and no team to support her Starfire drifted from city to city for a while. Tokyo, Chicago, Metropolis, and London all were visited. Neither of them however, could fill the void she felt inside of her. After almost a year of drifting she finally settled down in the Capitol City, not too far from Gotham where Nightwing, Beast Boy, and Raven currently called home. Once there she couldn't decide what to do with herself. She wanted to find that something that filled her void, but she didn't know what that was. Since then, she had secured a small abandoned apartment uptown and moonlit hero work. Had Raven and Beast Boy actually entered her apartment, they would find nothing but a mattress, a few boxes of her things moved from the tower, and a number of pictures of her friends pinned up on the wall all around the bed. In truth, she was doing no better than they, but she didn't want to worry her friends.

"How about you? Are you two still fighting evil?"

"No," Beast Boy smiled, collecting empty dishes and carrying them to the sink. "He haven't did hero work since the split. We've been trying to focus on college and work and stuff."

"Yeah, I can't afford to miss even one of my psyche classes; my professor puts everything on his exams. So if you miss even one day of notes, you're screwed."

"I suppose it is good that you enjoy reading."

"Definitely." Raven laughed softly, Beast Boy wrist deep in soapy dishwater, scrubbing uneaten bits of pasta and mushroom from the plates. Then there was a moment of silence, the only real noise coming from the sloshing water in the sink as Beast Boy's busy hands worked to clean the dishes. Raven smiled as she watched him, then turned to notice Starfire doing the same.

"I really am happy for you. He was always a good friend to us." Starfire's eyes glowed warmly as she whispered, her heart feeling quite sore as she gazed upon the happy and homey scene before her. "I see now, he has grown to a good man as well. I know he will treat you right."

"T-Thanks…" Raven sort of blushed; she was still trying to get the hang of these mushy conversations. "He does…" For some annoying reason Raven couldn't seem to get herself to stop smiling, no matter how hard she tried. Her face still a beet red and flushed hot. She loved him so much, and if anyone could be called a man, it would be him. To her, being a man is much more than maturity and responsibilities. Many are called men, and are horrible people with no sympathy…such "men" as Slade.

As Raven saw it, a man was someone who knew what was right, and risked everything to do it. A man was brave and compassionate, loyal and honest, sympathetic and loving. A man didn't let everyone take care of things for him, a man did things for himself…and sometimes for others. A man was one with responsibility not just to himself, but to others…all others. To Raven, Beast Boy was more a man, than anyone else she knew in the world. He loved her without fault…as she did him.

"What about you?" Again, she blushed, not much used to girl talk. "Have you found someone?" Starfire's eyes nearly shot of an accidental bolt, her face immediately blushing the color of her hair, burning like the fires of hell.

"I-I beg your pardon?"

"Do you have a boyfriend?"

"Oh…um…well…" Starfire fiddled with her fingers, not sure what to say. She knew the answer, that she hadn't seen anyone since the split. But, the hidden desire in her heart had her paranoid that the subject of a secret love might come up.

"Sorry, I shouldn't have asked." Raven smiled nervously, quite embarrassed at herself.

"No, no, it is alright." Starfire desperately tried to get control of herself, her blush starting to fade, her posture forcefully straightened, and her eyes closed so that she might look more serious when she spoke. "No, I have not seen him since we left the tower."

"Him?"

"Eep! I mean…um…anyone. I have not seen anyone." The red flush in Starfire's cheeks returned with a vengeance. She desperately waved her hands in front of her, hoping to erase the incident. How could she slip like that? She was only making things harder to hide, at this rate; it would come out soon enough.

"Noooooo you said him." Beast Boy finished his drying and shot over to the couch, sitting down on the floor and leaning forward ready to give her his full attention. "Well who was it huh?" A large sweat drop formed on Raven's head, she loved him to death but he wasn't really the brightest in the bunch.

"Who do you think?"

"Oooooooooooooooh that's right…Robin. I almost forgot about that." Raven shook her head then turned to Starfire, who was feeling quite uncomfortable at the moment.

"You ok?"

"Y-Yes…I am fine." Starfire force a smile, that didn't land with either of them. Instead of leading them off the topic, it only drew them in more.

"I'm guessing…you two didn't really work things out when he left?"

"…No…" Starfire turned her head and looked out the window. She prepared herself to relive exactly what happened, prepared herself to feel her heart break once again.

"Hey…hello? You awake?" That familiar voice floated once again from across the room, and the wretched light burst back into the room. Terra curled up tighter into her ball and cowered under the thin blanket.

"I am now…"

"Sorry but I got your clothes. You can go back to sleep after you've changed, don't want you to catch cold now."

"It doesn't matter."

"Well aren't we Miss Mary Sunshine?" The Flash dropped the clothes down on the chair he had pulled up and grabbed the blanket by the edge, and yanked it off of the balled up girl. "Well it does to me…and I'm sure some other folks too." His massive ego caught himself this time, making sure there wasn't a…misunderstanding. The last thing he needed was another cute girl hanging on his arm…well; perhaps there was room for, just one more.

"There is no one…now just leave me alone."

"Come on, I'm sure there's someone. Everyone's got friends…even Batman." Just at that moment a dark shadow passed by the door and stopped to look at him. Glancing over the shoulder the world's fastest man could see the Dark Knight himself, glaring back at him. "Isn't that right Bats?" There wasn't an answer, instead, the dark figure stalked off, continuing down the hall to his quarters.

"I kissed the last person who could ever have still liked me, and ruined his life."

"How could that ruin his life?"

"He's engaged."

"Ouch…" There was a silence, one of those silences that feel like an eternity before someone speaks. In this case, Wally West decided it was best to break that silence before the poor girl was convinced he thought her a bad person. "Well…we've all done stupid stuff. We can't let it drag us down though, hell if I let all the stupid stuff I've done…well…that's not important. The point is things aren't as horrible as they seem."

"Easy for you to say…all my friends hate me, an entire city no longer trusts me, and my last chance at happiness kicked me out of their lives."

"Well…you still have me." A corny line and he knew it. Sometimes, when you come across people who have hit rock bottom, corny lines are the only thing you've got.

"You don't even know me…"

"I know."

"So…how can you say that?" Terra sat up slightly, her eyes closed tight, but her face still had evidence of definite confusion. This wasn't new to her, something saying they accepted her for without even knowing them. But the last time she came across a person like that…he had her betray her friends and destroy the city.

"I have to, cause I'm a super hero…but also." He paused, waiting for a laugh, which again, didn't come. "Because from what I know of you right now, you know what you did was wrong and you have nothing but an insane amount of guilt for it. I'm guessing, that's the reason you jumped?" Terra nodded. "So…it sounds to me, you're not a totally horrible person."

"Gee thanks…" For the first time, in so long, Terra laughed. She couldn't remember how long it had been, but she was glad that she could still feel this way.

"By the way…what's up with your eyes? You look like some kind of mole-person like that."

This one went a lot smoother than the last one. Hope y'all don't mind the Terra tie-in. Don't worry, I don't plan on sticking her back into the main storyline cause frankly…there isn't any room for her. Which reminds me…hope you're in for a long ride cause I havn't even put a DENT in things yet. There's still a lot of story to come, including a Cyborg sub story. With it, more pairing until then…Later days!

ANSA