Tales of Advertisement
Disclaimer: I do NOT own Tales of Symphonia; neither does my sister, SoC. For if we did, we would both be very happy.
Cherry-sama: Hi! And welcome to another of my fics!
Sister-of-Cherry-sama (SoC): Again? Man, you write too many fics for your own good.
Cherry-sama: (ignores SoC) Both SoC and I wrote this story here. Only this time I got to publish it!
SoC: Helloooo?
Genis: (appears) She heard you, but she prefers to ignore you.
Cherry-sama: Genis? Who invited you to come into this intro?
Genis: I've got nothing better to do while Raine is observing stupid ruins.
Raine: I heard that!
Genis: Uh-oh…
Yggdrasill: (random) Don't mind these inferior beings, read this pathetic story instead.
SoC: (mad) What did you say…
Yggdrasill: Nothing of your concern.
Cherry-sama: Ignore her Yggy-san! Please read the story!
It was a rainy evening at the Irving residence. Thunder cracked/clapped as dark and gloomy clouds swirled over Dirk's house. Rain (the wet kind) poured as the tremendous winds swirled trees around and around. This was, as you might have already noticed, the average evil evening.
Now, zooming the camera inside Dirk's house.
Lloyd was standing in the kitchen of Dirk's house (as said many times already), preparing food. He was whistling the main theme from Tales of Symphonia (figures), thoroughly enjoying himself when suddenly the wooden/old door burst open, letting all of the storm's might inside (how unpleasant), revealing two silhouetted figures, looming in the threshold. Lighting crackled in the background as the two figures leapt into the room, knocking very fragile ornaments out of their way as they charged towards a completely frozen and stunned Lloyd. Before he (Lloyd) could ask them who they were and what they wanted, the figures had jumped on him then tied and gagged him. Making Lloyd completely helpless.
"Good work!" exclaimed the elder of the two (apparently female). "I honestly thought he'd put up more of a fight than this!"
"Yeah. That was pretty pathetic, considering he's one of the most powerful in the whole group!" agreed the second (apparently female as well). "Speaking of the group, we just have Sheena, Regal, and Genis left to capture!"
"Okay, I'll handle Genis, he can't be much harder than Raine." The older told the younger, ignoring Lloyd.
"What do you mean! Raine beat me up (that's pretty sad since Raine can only use healing spells. Wait. She can use 'Photon'… And she learns Ray later… NEVERMIND!)!"exclaimed the smaller, rubbing the back of her head gently.
"Whatever, you just handle Sheena, then we'll both get Regal together." told the elder.
"Mmmmm!" Lloyd protested, still bound and gagged.
"Shush!" the younger told Lloyd.
With that, the younger hit Lloyd over the head with a boot (randomly lying on the ground), making Lloyd unconscious.
The smaller of the two dragged the now unconscious Lloyd outside (yes, into the storm) and tossed him Noishe (who was set up like a horse) pulled cart, containing the bound and gagged outlines of Zelos, Kratos, Yggdrasill, Yuan, Presea, Colette and Raine. The elder of the two kidnappers (still inside) scribbled a note on a random piece of paper and left it on the kitchen table, and then she followed the other kidnapper out the door. The elder jumped over the railing and onto the cart and flicked Noishe's reigns. Noishe set forward in a happy and joyful prance over the bridge/log of Dirk's house and out of sight.
Meanwhile, back inside the house, Dirk walked down from upstairs.
"Lloyd, you almost finished with our beef and cheese sandwiches?" Dirk asked.
Dirk looked around the deserted room.
"Lloyd?"
Noticing a piece of paper lying on the table, Dirk walked over to the table and picked it up with curiosity. It was from the kidnapers! (insert dramatic music here) As he read over the letter/note, Dirk nodded his head in sympathetic understanding and he pocketed the note. Dirk then went on and ate both his and Lloyd's sandwiches.
In Meltokyo…
Standing in a large, brightly lit studio stood the ToS cast, looking around, wondering why the heck they were there. The two kidnapers had knocked them all unconscious, untied them, and left them, stranded, in this room. Raine was now pacing back and forth while Sheena was chasing Zelos. Kratos was standing in a random corner (as always) while the rest were just sitting mope-ily around, bored.
Finally, breaking the silence, one of the kidnapers waltzed through a nearby door. The kidnaper was wearing a blue, long sleeve shirt; a scruffy pair of blue jeans; and a clash to her blue outfit, a pair of red, wooden shoes. Her long, blonde hair, fluttered in a slight breeze that came out of nowhere.
"Hiiii!" the kidnaper exclaimed as if she had not just kidnapped the ToS cast.
"What do you want?" Genis asked coldly.
"I just want to apologize for the inconvenience."
"Inconvenience?" Kratos asked sarcastically, raising an eyebrow.
"Yes, the inconvenience of kidnapping you guys so you can be in our advertisements. " she younger kidnaper explained.
"Wha?" Lloyd asked, very confused.
"Let me explain. You guys have gotten so popular that people from earth have been requesting you to be in regular T.V. advertisements." The younger explained.
"So?" Sheena asked.
"Just wait. So, they sent me and my sister here to convince you to be in advertisements."
"Oh?" Raine asked.
"Yes. We first sent out letters to each of your homes. But the stupid -beep- mailman lost them before they got to your houses. The only one that got through was Yggdrasill's. And what did he do? He ripped it up and through it in the garbage!"
"How do you know I did that?" Yggdrasill asked, raising an eyebrow.
"I searched your garbage because you didn't reply to it."
"…"
"Now. Where was I? Ah, yes. Ahem. Then we sent out Dirk-a-phone messages to all of you. But, our requests took up too much time for it to get to you."
"Go figure." Yuan muttered.
"So we tried talking to you in person. But you were always busy when we came. So, our final resort was kidnapping you. Sorry!" the younger explained, bowing.
"It's okay!" Colette replied, first to respond to her.
"Now, since I'm going to be the director, you might as well get to know my name!" the younger kidnapper exclaimed.
"Director?" Kratos asked, raising his eyebrow.
"Yes. Director."
"Aren't you too young for that?" Yuan asked.
"Beggars can't be choosers! And my name is Cherria!"
"I'm the Producer." explained the elder, coming through the door.
"Now, in the first advertisement we need Kratos, Colette, and Lloyd to read over these scripts!" Cherria explained as she pulled three scripts out of her pocket.
"Okay!" Colette exclaimed walking over and grabbing the script.
"The rest of you just stand by until we finish this advertisement." Cherria explained.
"Okay!" Zelos exclaimed as he walked over, planning to flirt with Sheena.
Somewhere behind set, outside the room where we just were…
"Cherria!" Kratos yelled as he ran over to the director.
"Yes?" Cherria asked as she sat down in one of those director chairs.
"I don't think I should say this line here." Kratos told Cherria, pointing to a part of his script.
"The part where Lloyd says: But does he know why kids love Cinnamon Toast Crunch? And you say: Because it's all sparkly like my wings?" Cherria asked.
"Yes. That line."
"What about it?"
"I don't really want to say that…"
"Why?"
"Because it will make look…"
"Stupid? Idiotic?"
"Well… Yes… And if Yuan and Mithos see me saying that then…"
"I understand."
"Hmm?"
"I know what you mean. But we are keeping it the way it is. No matter what!"
"Cherria, we need you on set! We're ready to film!" a random person that will control lighting, told Cherria.
"Okay. Get ready Kratos!" Cherria told Kratos as she walked to the set.
"Hmph. Fine" Kratos muttered to himself.
On set…
"Okay guys! You remember your lines?" Cherria asked as she sat in her director chair.
"Yep!" Colette responded.
"Okay. LIGHTS! CAMERA! ACTION! QQUUUUUUIIEEEEETTTTTTTT!" Cherria yelled.
"That's so clichéd from 'I Love Lucy'…" the elder, who just happened to be the cameraman, (named Sister of Cherria or also known as SoC) muttered to herself.
"Cinnamon Toast Crunch: Take 1!" a random person exclaimed.
"Action!" Cherria exclaimed.
"This is Kratos!" Lloyd introduced Kratos to the camera, who was in the background or was he?
Thing was, Kratos wasn't on set.
"CUT! KRATOS WHERE ARE YOU!" Cherria yelled.
"Here." Kratos replied as he came out from his hiding spot.
"Why aren't you on set?" Cherria asked, leaning forwards in her director's chair.
"I—I—…" Kratos stuttered.
"Yes?"
"I got lost…" Kratos lied.
"Well, get on set! I'm sure you won't have any trouble finding it now." Cherria told Kratos as she pointed to the set.
"…No…"
"Good. There's the set, now get on it."
"Cinnamon Toast Crunch: Take 2!" the random person exclaimed again.
"Action!" Cherria exclaimed.
"This is Kratos!" Lloyd introduced Kratos to the camera, who was actually there this time.
"He's one of the Cruxis Angels, the four Seraphim!" Colette exclaimed as Kratos walked towards the camera.
"But does he know why kids love Cinnamon Toast Crunch?" Lloyd asked.
"Because…it's all—I can't say it!" Kratos yelled as he tried to say his lines.
"CUT! Kratos! Why can't you say them?" Cherria asked.
"We already talked about this before the filming…" Kratos told Cherria.
"Alright! But this is our last take!" Cherria exclaimed.
"Why?" Colette asked.
"Because the random guy that says 'take: whatever' has a sore throat and his doctor is only allowing him to say three sentences per day!" Cherria explained.
"And this is his last sentence?" Lloyd asked.
"Yes."
"Cinnamon Toast Crunch: Take 3!" the random guy exclaimed.
"Action!"
"This is Kratos!" Lloyd introduced Kratos to the camera.
"He's one of the Cruxis Angels, the four Seraphim!" Colette exclaimed as Kratos walked towards the camera.
"But does he know why kids love Cinnamon Toast Crunch?" Lloyd asked.
Then Kratos came up with an idea. An idea that would make him look cool and the advertisement look bad. He had learned all of the lines by heart, including the lines for Lloyd and Colette.
"Because there are Cinnamon Swirls in every bite?" Kratos asked, trying not to laugh.
"Noooo!" Colette told Kratos, saying her line.
"Because there are Cinnamon Swirls in every bite— No… Wait… Kratos is right…" Lloyd paused.
"CUT!" Cherria exclaimed.
As soon as Cherria said 'Cut', Kratos quickly trotted to the room where the rest of the ToS cast were sitting around.
Cherry-sama: Chapter 1!
Lloyd: You kinda acted harsh in the fic… At least the last bit…
Cherry-sama: I'm just trying to be a little director-ish.
Colette: Okay!
Yggdrasill: Please ignore these inferior being and review for this pointless story.
Cherry-sama: Yggy-sama! (hugs)
Yggdrasill: Get off of me!
Cherry-sama: Never! And that is one command I will not obey!
Lloyd: Please review…