We've covered Kakashi in crack and let him loose in the village. Let' s see if anyone notices…
The Shinobi's Guide to Training
Part Five: Speed
By Kaori
Students seemed to be dropping like flies due to "training", Shikamaru being the latest victim. He was going to be in the hospital for at least another two days; which was just fine with him. He could see the clouds very well from the window and he wouldn't have to go through any troublesome training for a while. Speaking of which…
Twitching and casting furtive glances, the teams and the sensei awaited Kakashi. All were dreading what the tardy maniac would make them do this time. Unbeknownst to them, Kakashi had been watching them all from a tree the entire time and decided to have some fun. Sneaking up behind them he let out a quiet, "Yo."
"AAGH!" shrieked the genin. Asuma and Kurenai glared at him and Gai seethed (why the hell does Kakashi have to be so cool). Before anyone could inflict bodily harm on his person, Kakashi waved the bag of chestnuts he brought with him in their faces.
"FOOD!" yelled Chouji, forgetting about being scared shitless. Kakashi sidestepped him.
"Not just yet. This is part of your training."
"If squirrels or birds factor into this at any point I am leaving." Sasuke stated adamantly.
"No squirrels or birds. Just fire."
"EH?"
Kakashi merely motioned for everyone to follow him to the training area. They were using Team 7s usual spot near the Memorial Stone. Kakashi made a small campfire and threw some of the nuts in it.
"Now watch." He said, kneeling down in front of the fire.
"What's he doing?" whispered Kiba.
"You're asking me?" hissed back Naruto.
"He's your sensei."
"That doesn't mean a thing. Kaka-sensei's always been weird. I don't think anybody really gets him."
Unheeding of the conversation going on behind him, Kakashi raised both hands and then…
"Kachu Tenshin Amaguriken!" faster than the average eye could follow, Kakashi thrust his hands in to the fire. When he pulled them out the final time, they were full of hot, roasted chestnuts. The observers clapped in appreciation. "This is what you will be doing. You must be fast enough to pull the chestnuts from the fire without burning your hand. With this training you should improve the speed of your punches a hundred fold."
"Ha! This will be a cinch." Snorted Kiba.
"Mmm…roasted chestnuts…" thought Chouji.
"Umm…sensei? Isn't there another way to get the same results?" ventured Ino, who didn't relish the thought of deliberately sticking her hands into a fire.
"Well, yes there is an alternate method…." Hummed Kakashi. "although I don't know where I'll find piranha at this time of day."
"Piranha?" squeaked Sakura.
"Yes. The alternate method is for you to try to grab all the piranha out of a tank before they remove all the flesh from your arms."
"…I think we'll stick with the chestnuts."
Each of the students were given a bag of chestnuts and the materials to light and tend to a campfire.
"This is impossible!" wailed Sakura as Kurenai tended to the third degree burns on her hands.
"This is easy." Grinned Chouji. Everyone turned to look and were shocked as Chouji easily plucked chestnut after chestnut out of his campfire. Asuma, recovering his senses, smirked triumphantly. That was his student!
"It figures he'd do well once there was food involved." Muttered Ino, whose hesitancy had led to her fingers being somewhat singed.
Hinata was doing well also, the training for the Jyuuken seeing her through the exercise with minor burns. Sasuke so far had only managed to grab one chestnut but not without suffering second degree burns. Kiba and Naruto were equally determined to master this training and had the sever burns to prove it (Naruto having gotten so riled up he actually dove into the fire to get the chestnuts). Shino was outright refusing to participate, settling for watching the others.
"Are you sure you don't want to try the piranha tank?" Kakashi asked from the Memorial Stone, where he was eating roasted chestnuts.
"Positive." The genins hissed.
Kakashi called the other sensei over. He had an idea as to how to get the other genin at least on par with Hinata. Telling the genins it was time to break for lunch, they all headed for the Sukiyaki restaurant.
The pot was simmering cheerily in the middle of the table with the various meats and vegetables, and the noodles set around it. The group wasted no time putting their favorites into the pot. They chatted as they waited for the food to cook, and when it did, Kakashi's plan went into action.
Using the Kachu Tenshin Amaguriken, he quickly picked some of the choice cuts from the pot and put them in his bowl, then added some of the uncooked meat into the pot. Chouji, not wanting all the good meat to be eaten, also started picking food at rapid speed. Hinata, too polite to get involved in a fight of this nature, demurely picked what she could. The others, were not so forgiving, realizing that if they didn't act quickly, Kakashi and Chouji would get all the good parts and they'd get nothing but rice noodles.
Naruto, not having been brought up with many table-manners to begin with, quickly surpassed Chouji's speed in order to assure himself some of the pork. Kiba was not about to let himself be beaten and deftly snatched food from the pot. Sasuke, refusing to be outclassed by his "inferior" comrades, activated his Sharingan and used it to see who was grabbing for what and beat them to it. He got away with it for three minutes before Kakashi stopped him.
At this point, Kakashi noticed the flaw in this training. While the boys (with the exception of Shino), were more than happy to try and beat each other (mostly Chouji who was used to eating like this) to the delectable meat, the girls would politely wait until the boys had at least moved their chopsticks away before neatly plucking out the vegetables and noodles. Ino and Sakura's diets, and the Hyuuga family etiquette winning out over greed and delicious food. He would have to find some other way to get them up to speed…but how?
Today's training is taken from Ranma ½. I thought about using the Neko-ken training but then I realized that Kakashi wouldn't be quite as foolhardy as Genma and would've actually read the part where it says "only a complete and utter moron would use this training method." Now then, after reading this last chapter, who can tell me what the next training exercise will be? I'll give you a hint: Iron Corset.