Hey Everyone,

I wasn't going to write the chapter today,

But i thought about it for half a day and was lazy, then decided that i should quickyl write and update

And here it is

I noticed thanks to a reivewer, that there was no real emotion on Athrun,

But to reply

There was reason and it will be explained in this chapter.

SO ENJOY!

I brushed a fleck of the falling snow off. I turned and saw the group watching me intently, but they decided to follow Athrun. I looked at Athrun, who held the charm bracelet close.

He entered his stood at his car, and I noticed that I was at a fair distance from his; I could barely see the contours of his face. I was still technically climbing rocks. I couldn't believe myself. Even after seeing Athrun, I couldn't clearly remember my love for him. I knew that there were some memories left, the most important and special ones. I wanted to smack and murder myself for being me. I was felt so stupid.

I saw my Gundam unattended and thought it would strange to leave it there sitting, I took out a remote and disillusioned it to it surroundings. Placing it in my pocket, I kept on walking on the shoreline, waiting for something, but what?

I sat down, my view of Athrun blocked by rocks. What exactly was I missing? I wondered where I first meet Athrun.

I looked at the clear ocean in front of me, the vast clear blue, and the grey clouds above, the tiny islands far away, gently disappearing from the starting fog. I could sense a storm, and I realized something. I couldn't exactly go back to the ship in a fog. Oh great!

Of all things on my gundam, they could have at least put radar on it.

The weather was still chilly and I noticed what I was exactly wearing and exotic cropped pant with sequined-encrusted wide waistband that was smocked in the back, with a bouquet knit halter top, adorned with center flower and dotted with tiny rhinestones on the straps. I had managed to change this morning in a rush. At least they matched. I was currently barefoot. I heaved a sigh as I saw it started to snow. I pulled my rhinestone zipper sweater with mandarin collar closer and tried to stay warm. I could have easily gone to there home, but it would feel weird. Going into a home, I couldn't clearly even remember, yet I had been there for most of my life.

Athrun sat down in his car

"Athrun, you don't seem pretty excited that Cagalli came back," Kira said

"I had a talk with Ann. She told me about Cagalli," Athrun said quietly.

"I was pretty shocked actually," he said afterwards, "She still doesn't remember us."

"Come one Athrun she'll come around," Shiho said

"I know," Athrun said, "She loves a guy like me."

Athrun leaned back on the chair remembering the conversation he had last night.

Athrun had come back from the battle, and was dieing to see his son. His mind kept on flickering to that girl's voice. It sounded so much like Cagalli. It was strong, determined and full of love. He knew he would definitely ask her for a name and see her face, just to get his suspicions out of his head. His heart was saying how much she was Cagalli, and he was starting to believe it. He saw flecks of blonde from the screen, and she behaved with Aiden, just like Cagalli. The likeness between both of them wasn't just a coincidence.

He wanted to talk with Ann, once more. There was something missing. What truth was she talking about? Her words before leaving were strange. She was giving me a clue as well as trying to tell me something.

"That girl," Athrun said sitting on a chair. Just as he was about to cut down more the ship her words, made him immediately believe that she was Cagalli, but her voice, was to fuzzed.

She said something usually only Cagalli would say.

He smiled as he remembered what exactly she said.

"You little bastard, son of a gun, stupid jerk,"

She almost called his child hers and that proved to him, that she really was something more than a girl who knew about Cagalli.

"You almost hurt my…your child you idiot,"

But, she didn't accept that fact, so his dreams were too good to be true. Athrun wanted to smack himself for thinking so many cruel thoughts about that girl, when she just wanted to protect Aiden, and save him from being hurt.

Then why did his heart soar a thousand beats. Why did he so badly want to see the girl?

No matter how hard he thought, he couldn't figure it out. His thoughts shifted back to Cagalli. He'd jump at the chance to just hold her in his arms once more. Sell his soul to spend a minute with her. Take his life away to place his lips on her.

He tried hard to not stress himself with the people sighting his Cagalli. People telling him the she was alive. Why couldn't he find her, catch a glimpse of her like other?

Athrun did miss his son a lot. His laughs, smiles, hugs, crawls, little word…him. Athrun was so relieved to hear Aiden call him through the radio. He started to breath.

Athrun looked at his uneaten dinner in front. No matter how hard he tried, since the past six months, he never filled his stomach, quenched his thirst. Everything he did made him feel empty inside. He might have eaten in front of people, but he was never full. He lost his reason to be happy, to be alive. He was void of emotions, passions and life. He felt like as if he was in a swirled black hole sucking him deeper and deeper inside, with each heart beat he beat.

That was stopped a week ago. For some reason he felt warm, he could see the light in his sleep, and he felt whole. There was some reason he felt life, and he didn't know why? He felt emotions and feelings once more. There was a strange swirl of energy within him, and it became stronger and stronger whenever he saw that ship, mobile suit and at Orb a couple of times. That emotion of love was the feeling he felt only with Cagalli and Aiden, but who was he feeling for?

At Alaska, when that person mentioned the girl who fled, he felt a strange recognition. His heart was telling him that it was her. The person you loved, but he thought it was impossible, now looking over he was beginning to accept that fact.

How he wanted to get into his mobile suit, fly into the ship and relieve himself of the answer, but that was being to rash.

His heart was screaming into his mind, that the girl was indeed Cagalli, but he had no proof. If only Ann could tell him who she was and why did he feel like she was familiar to him.

He deficiently needed to know.

Athrun sighed and bowed his head in defeat. He would never know where his Cagalli was? Which state she was in? Was she in pain or any suffering? He just wanted all his questions answered.

The phone rang and he looked up into the screen and picked up sadly.

"Athrun is that you," Ann said

"Yes," Athrun replied plainly

"I think it's important for you to know this," Ann said to want seemed like in her office

"Yes Ann, but wait, can you please tell who this girl is? She's making me go wild in my heart with emotions I felt with only Cagalli," Athrun said

Ann smiled and said, "I want to show you her picture. This way I'm not telling you."

Athrun sat up in confusion. He saw Ann take out a picture with a girl holding Aiden in her arm. She had a smile on her face, and his son did as well. What shocked him the most was the he saw wasn't ordinary, but of someone very close to him.

It was the face of Cagalli. The same blonde hair, amber eyes full of life and she had the same wedding band and charm bracelet on.

Athrun fell off of his chair in pure shock. He closed his eyes, and looked once more, as if he had seen a ghost.

"That's Cagalli," Athrun said

"Yes, she is, but," Ann said only to cut off

"I can't believe, wait I'll be right there. Cagalli… She's alive and she was right in front of me for the whole time. No wonder I was so full of life. That's why that voice was so familiar," Athrun said standing up in pure glee of life.

"Ann, can you get the gate of ship opened. I need to see her right now," Athrun said to her through the screen. He to jump around in happiness, holds her in his arms, bring Aiden back and be a family like before, cry in happiness.

"But where has she been all this time Ann, I mean she must have remembered me, why did she not contact me and tell that she was alive," Athrun said

Ann looked Athrun who looked like he gained another life, just by the news of her, being so close to him. She knew how much pain Athrun went to, and that he was getting his life back.

And knowing the truth she couldn't help but let out a few tears

"Athrun sit down," Ann said

Athrun had confusion written on his face

"Cagalli doesn't remember," Ann said breaking him apart

"She…doesn't… remember," Athrun said each word slowly, a tear slipping from his eye.

"She can't remembers everyone, Aiden…Kira…you friends, but not your love," Ann said

Athrun was silent. He couldn't help but feel lifeless.

"Why?" Athrun said, "Will she be like this for good?"

"The leader of FLASH took her memories out; I don't know if she will remember herself as Cagalli Zala. She does accept that fact, but she doesn't remember any of it," Ann said

Athrun was shocked indeed, but not in happiness, but of pain, like his heart was shredded in a blender and termites finished it off.

"Athrun, there's always hope. She can see this girl…and how she and you loved each to her very much. She finds herself being so close to the answer, yet, she always pulled back. Maybe once she sees you, she'll remember. You might not know it, but everyone knows that Cagalli loved you very much. You were her light of life, you have her heart, her answers," Ann said, "She doesn't want you hurt."

"Hurt?" Athrun said

"She knows you're her husband. She knows she's Cagalli, and tomorrow she won't let you all see her because she knows, that you'll break knowing that she can't remember, and she doesn't want that," Ann said

"Then why'd you tell me, I probably would not have known tomorrow," Athrun said

Ann smiled, "How would you deny her voice clearly in front of you."

Athrun looked up knowing she was right. It wouldn't have been long, until he'd see her face. Thinking her voice, made him think of their past, and how much loved they had in it.

"Athrun," Ann said, "You needed to know this. I know you will learn tomorrow, but she's learning to love to you, because she can feel that feeling in her heart. She's told me. Give her strength to remember Athrun. She still will need your love, hope, and trust to get her through the pain. She's dying Athrun. She want to remember you and kills herself, whenever she can't, thinking how you are spending another day without her."

"How, what can I do? I've done nothing. Even back then it was always her guiding me, giving me love, when Manes hurt her, I blamed her, and probably made her forget me. Isn't it better that she forget me? Find someone worthier, who loves her and would trust her more then I would," Athrun said looking down seeing the truth of him.

"If Cagalli heard that, she would have given you a slap for thinking such nonsense. Even I just want to give you a punch for being too stupid. No one in this world could probably love Cagalli more than you Athrun. Have you seen your eyes? The first time I saw you in Nevis, looking at Cagalli, I knew you straight of the bat that you two were soul mates. I've seen your love, your passion, your trust you have for Cagalli and it's so beautiful. You look through the good Athrun, your heart is true. Of course you have your moments, but you've always looked out for the best for Cagalli. Give her smiles; share your heart with her. Whenever I saw you two, it never was as two different people, but as one," Ann said.

Athrun was in awe at what he said. Of course he loved Cagalli, but he never noticed the passion he had towards her. Athrun did blush at what she said.

"Well…I don't know what to say," Athrun said

"Be strong," Ann said, "You need to be for her, and wait, because with a person like you who loves her so, she should remember everything like that," Ann said

"Thank you Ann," Athrun said honestly

"No need for thanks, I want to show you this," Ann said walking to Cagalli's room. She sneaked inside and showed Athrun the most beautiful scene he had seen in his life, apart from Cagalli walking down the aisle, or when Cagalli held Aiden for the first time in her arms.

It was Cagalli sleeping with their baby protected in her arms.

Athrun stared at the serene face of his supposedly dead wife, but no, she was alive and just as beautiful.

Ann left the room and Athrun wished how he could just be there.

"You should have seen your eyes Athrun, they held love," Ann said

"I know," Athrun said, "But I don't think it-"

"Stop saying that," Ann cut him off sternly, "Or I'll have to slap some sense into you."

Athrun smiled and said, "Thank you Ann. I know what to do tomorrow. Give my angel strength."

"Try not to act obvious," Ann said, "Now go to sleep," motherly

Athrun smiled and said, "Good might."

The screen went blank.

"She has to remember, at least to not hurt herself," Athrun said

"What about you," Kira, "What hurts her the most are the pain you're going through."

"Of course it hurt, when a person you loved with all heart and did the same, suddenly forgets it," Athrun, "I just wish at times that she didn't love me. If I just…had been a bit more trustful, maybe Cagalli wouldn't be like this."

"Hey Athrun…of all people in the world, you deserve to be loved by her, whether you know it or not even if you can't see it. Remember Ahmed, he loved Cagalli and you would have happily given Cagalli to him, because your love for her was true. You would do anything for her happiness," Shiho said.

I could feel my heart hurt. I stood up as by now there was a layer of snow on the ground. The white fluff was so beautiful, life pieces of a cloud, gently falling onto the Earth, as the settling sun created a layer of shimmer on the ground. The sun was peaking through the grey clouds for the last time, before and disappeared in an instant.

I saw them all talking and the face Athrun had on was unreadable, but I had a strange urge in my heart, as he opened his mouth and talked.

I looked down to the ring on my hand. It was the most beautiful piece of jewellery I ever saw. The person who I was wedded to was in front of me and I couldn't remember. I wondered when and how he proposed to me. I could just imagine myself screaming "Yes!"

I couldn't help but smile, at my pathetic state. I didn't even remember being a fiancée to him, yet that guy still believed that I'd remember everything, and with his belief I knew I would.

Athrun words were still ringing in my mind.

"I know how your still think, that just because you can't remember, it won't change anything from my side. It's doesn't hurt me that you can't remember me, it hurts because your hiding and lost. Stop saying her or she. You know that you're Cagalli, my Cagalli so stop denying it will you?"

"I am her," I whispered, "I am Cagalli Zala, not just Cagalli."

"Mama," Aiden said in agreement.

"I am the mother of Aiden," I said again.

"Come back to me," he said, "I'll be waiting for you in the end, and this time I'm not letting you go."

"I'm waiting myself to come back to you," I said, "I know that you mean so much to me, but how and just why?"

"I still remember as well Cagalli, when we first told each other we loved each other. That triggers all your memories remember,"

"When we first said that we loved each other," I said standing up and started to walk.

'When I first said, "I love you," to Athrun Zala' I thought, a slight flush on my cheek.

I had a smile on my lips, as my feet took me walking. I was in a trance as I felt a chill run down my spine. I felt a love spreading in my body. The love I held for Athrun. It was there in my heart and I could feel it for the first time.

I was going to my garden of hope.

I realized that my eyes were closed, opening them I cried.

Wow

What do you think

I'm almost at 50 chapters

Yay!

I shall hopefully update tomorrow

No matter how much i try, i can't seem to not update

It's like in my to do list

odd

Anyways hope you guys liked Athurn in this cahtper

Give the guy a break

And the next chapter

i'm not going to give you any clues on it.

I have a cool planand i so want to place it tomorrow

But i will say expect a shocker---MAybe!

till next time

Samera