Disclaimer TEEN TITANS and all other related characters and material are the property of DC comics and Cartoon Network, I claim no ownership.

Chapter 19: Like a Virgin

By: Ansa

The music in the shop made her sick to her stomach; she never was one for mushy stuff. Even the slightest hint of romance in anything but real life made her roll her eyes and try to tune it out, but this was just unfair. She knew she would most likely have to deal with it, being in a bridal shop and all, but she never thought it would be this bad. Natalie Brightman, or whatever, the latest little thing on the scene. To her, it was the same mellow piano and string mesh of sound that people called music accompanied by some high pitched whisper of a singer. Nothing special, but then again, that was just her. Not even at her own wedding would she tolerate anything like this that much was for sure. Susan and Starfire literally had to drag her in once she heard it. No matter how excited she might be in finally getting time to pick out her dress, that horrid music immediately gave her second thought.

So much time had passed since Dick had offered to pay that it was already a week before the big day. Picking out her dress was not the only thing that was needed to be done, not by a long shot, but they would get to it. Even if they didn't, the wedding would still be perfect. As long as she stood there with him, wedding bands slipped gently on their fingers, and their friends looking on in reverence, it would be perfect. As long as she was marrying him and only him, it would be perfect.

"Awww come on! You've waited too long already, what are you going to get married in, a sundress?" Raven instantly cringed at this thought. Never in her life had she ever worn such a thing, but Susan didn't know that. Susan knew very little about her past, only that she was once part of a hero team, and that not to make her too angry, bad things would happen.

Starfire smiled, quite happy to have been brought along on such a thing. There was still so much she hadn't experienced and learned about this planet. Marriage ceremonies and traditions in particular, even though they existed on her planet, it was quite different. Finally, with another slight tug, she and Susan managed to drag her inside, almost bumping into one of the helpers who seemed to be smiling too much to be honest.

"Hello there, how can I help you ladies today?"

"Hi, we're looking for a wedding dress." Susan took over as the group spokesman as far as customer service people went. She was the only one who really could, these kind of things weren't Raven's thing, and Starfire…well, she still wasn't sure what was up with her. Raven just introduced them one day while they were at the library one day. She was kind, and warm, but there was something about her she just couldn't put her finger on.

"Oh wonderful." Wendy, as her name tag identified her as, smiled brightly and leaned in slightly. It was quite obvious to them all now that she was laying it on a bit thick. It wouldn't surprise any of them to find out just how much she hated her job. Working in a bridal shop, when having no man of her own made Wendy quite depressed, and envious. "Who might be the lucky bride-to-be?"

"That would be her."

"Congratulations dear, you must be very happy." The same tired line Wendy had said time and time again to countless of customers. She said it with only a hint of resentment and tired repetition. Only Raven was able to pick up upon it, but didn't care to bring attention to it, she figured she wouldn't care much to work in a place like this either.

"Thank you, I am."

"Now, what did you have in mind?"

"Actually, if you could just show us where the bride's gowns are we can take care of things." Susan was a pro somehow. No one knew why, but she just was. Give her a party to plan or a shopping list of any kind and she'd be out and about with more energy than any athlete on the planet.

"Oh, of course, they're right over there." Wendy blinked at first. It wasn't unusual to have a group of customers come in and decide things for themselves, but it wasn't an everyday occurrence either. No matter, it made the job all too easier for her anyways. If "There's a mirror and dressing rooms if you need them, and don't be afraid to ask for help." Of course what she really meant was "if you have a problem don't ask me," but she couldn't say it to a customer less she lose her job, which seemed less and less of a bad thing to her with each passing day.

Susan quickly led them to the largest part of the shop, an area filled with extravagant and elegant gowns that would make any girl feel like royalty. White was everywhere, filling their eyes with an intensity that almost made them squint. Even though white wasn't exactly her color, it was her wedding so she had to wear it. Immediately Susan went to work, scanning each and every inch of the room before leading Raven and Starfire to a small bench to sit right in front of a large rack of dresses while she flipped through.

"Now, the first and most important question is this." Susan smiled evilly as she stopped sorting through the silky white fabrics, turning to face her friend on the bench. "Can you even wear white to your wedding?"

"WHAT? SUSAN!" Immediately Raven's face turned a deep red, a large vein appearing in her forehead. She knew Susan like to do things like this, embarrass people fully and claim she was only "joking around." But she never thought she would do this, especially in front of Starfire.

"It's a completely legitimate question; I mean you've been with Garfield for almost 4 years right?"

"I do not understand." Starfire blinked, confused and a little embarrassed that she had to ask what this meant. So much she didn't know it made her feel so very out of place. She was afraid, that being the maid of honor, she would ruin things by not performing this or that the right way. The only way to make sure was to ask as many questions as possible and tag along for every little thing, just in case. "Why would she not be able to wear white?"

Susan, still grinning, leaned in and whispered it in her ear. She didn't think it too odd that she didn't know, many people nowadays take no heed to it at all. Very rarely do you see a bride wear anything but white, and not even half of them would be expected to be virgins.

"SUSAN! DON'T TELL HER THAT!"

"What? Hehehe it's not that big of a deal, either you are or you aren't."

"Ohhhhh I see." Starfire blushed, putting her hands in her lap and smiling only slightly. She had never thought about this since she found out that they could not have children. It simply left her mind besides, it wasn't the sort of thing you thought about with your friends. But now that she thought about it, she found herself to be quite curious. Not in the bad way however, no. She never thought sex to be anything but an act of love, and of course she would not think it to be anything else with her friends. Raven wouldn't seem like that type, nor Beast Boy, to abuse such an act for physical pleasure rather than love. Lust, was something she just could not understand.

"Dammit Susan…"

"Oh come on, just answer. I can't narrow down the choices unless I know."

"White…regardless of the answer I'm wearing white Susan."

"Awww, that's not fair."

"Excuse me for trying to keep my sex life private."

"Ah HA! So you do have a sex life."

"No! I mean…ugh…" Raven shook her head; it was sore and frustrated from the conversation. She really didn't want to get into it because she knew that even if she did give an honest answer it wouldn't end there. There was only one foolproof way to end this, and it was to tell her flat out. That was not going to happen unless it absolutely had to.

"Perhaps we should continue with the selecting of dresses?" Starfire tried to save her, tried to get off the topic despite her own curiosity. Susan would not be so easily swayed however, once she got something in her head she wouldn't let it go until she got what she wanted.

"Nuh-uh. This is important for the deciding process."

"How? Everyone wears white anyways, so what's the difference?"

"Well…um…" Susan thought for a second, scrambling for a valid reason, but of course, there was none except her own satisfaction. "Ok there isn't but I still want to know."

"Why?"

"Because, if you have I want details."

"Jesus Susan…"

"D-details?" Once again Starfire blushed, her hands coming up from her lap to try and hide it. All she needed to know was that it was a loving and happy experience, she didn't necessarily need to know the play by play.

"That is not going to happen."

"Fine, no details…just a yes or no will do."

"…that's it?"

"That's it." Raven sighed, disgusted and ready to just get on with things. She had other things to do today, and they couldn't spend all day here going back and forth about her sex life…or lack there of. Taking a deep breath, she tried to push back the blush that was already on deck, ready to fill her entire face with a crimson pigment.

"Fine…yes."

"Yes what?"

"You said that's all I had to say."

"Yeah, but you have to specify. 'Yes you're a virgin,' or 'yes you've done it?'" Again Raven sighed, sweat drops forming over her head. She had managed to fend of the blush with her original answer, but having to specify, to say it all out loud would make it much harder.

"Yes…I'm a…virgin." Sure enough, the blush came full force, accompanying that of Starfire's next to her. For a moment there was silence, which was to be expected considering the topic, before Susan nodded slightly and turned her attention back to the dresses.

"Oh…alright then, white it is."

The silence continued from there, leaving Raven and Starfire still blushing slightly. Star didn't find this news to be surprising at all, but why she just couldn't figure out. She knew there was some reason that they hadn't, something that she didn't need to be told, but rather had just assumed on her own. But at this moment it wouldn't come to her, lazily retreating to the deepest part of her brain, refusing to be found.

"How come?"

"What?"

"Why are you still a virgin? I mean, you've lived with the guy for almost three years and you two never…you know?"

"Dammit, Susan you said all I had to say was yes or no."

"Well yeah but, you tell me you live with a guy for as long as you have and that you're still a virgin, and I'm not going to wonder why?"

"You can wonder all you want, but I'm not telling you."

"You like religious or something? Want to stay pure and that junk?"

Raven blinked at this and answered only with a cold stare. Susan knew quite well that she didn't go for religion, even that of her own peoples. Neither she nor Beast Boy ever put much stock into religion, hence the decision to get married outside rather than in a church. Besides, being half-demon, she thought it rather rude to do so.

"Ok then what is it?" Before Raven could spout out another objection Susan answered her own question, turning away from the dresses and leaning in close to whisper. "Can he not…you know?"

"Not what?" Once again, Susan started to whisper something in Starfire's ear but was sharply cut off.

"Don't you dare tell her, besides, that's not the problem either."

"Okay, okay, what is the problem then?"

"…" Raven thought for a moment, images of Susan being tossed around the shop happily dancing in her head. Finally, she let out another disgusted sigh, no longer caring about the dress but just wanting this day to end. "If I tell you, there are no more questions alright? No more anything, understand?"

"Gotcha." Susan smiled in victory and sat herself down next them on the bench, scootching in closer so that she wouldn't miss a single word.

"Alright…remember when I told you about my powers?" Susan nodded. "Well, they're based off of emotions. I have to keep them in check just to make sure random objects explode around me."

"Okay."

"Something like that…well…" Again she blushed, she hated being forced to say this she found it rather embarrassing. Also, it was only another harsh reminder of the normal life she could never have.

"Go on."

"I don't know if I could have control. I've never really…experienced that sort of thing before so…I don't know what would happen. My powers might go haywire…and…I don't want to hurt him." She hung her head slightly and cursed the manner of her birth. Why must she suffer, and why must those around her suffer her? She couldn't even be with her fiancé without the threat of some kind brought by her power. They didn't have to try for her to know the risks, she knew, and she wasn't about to take them. Before the subject could even come up she laid down a rule-set. These rules were for his own good, no matter how much it hurt them not being able to feel each other's touch. Somehow, throughout this, he managed to stay true to these rules and never questioned them. He was either a saint, or quietly going insane.

"So…how are you two going to do it on the honeymoon?" Despite the blatant breaking of promise, Raven didn't bother to make an issue and decided to just answer. It was quite clear at this moment that Susan wasn't going to let things go and it would be much easier to go along with it.

"I've…been training myself…"

"Training, like how?"

"You know what I mean, so don't make me say it."

Susan stared blankly for a moment, not quite sure what she meant. For the first time in a while, her mind didn't automatically go to the gutter. Instead she first pictured heavy meditation, or something of the sort. Starfire had no more of a clue than she, but decided to keep quiet this time. Chances were it would come out eventually, and sure enough, something in Susan's mind clicked and her eyes went wide before that wicked smile returned.

"Ohhhhh, you mean…"

"Yes…" Raven's cheeks never got a break from the red tone that filled them, never faultering since the conversation started. And they were certainly not going to stop at this point.

"Ok…so, how is that going?"

"Do I really have to answer that?"

"No…I suppose not…I really don't care to know those kinds of details anyways." Susan stuck her tongue out playfully. If it were any other topic she would have moved on, but this was one of those things even she wouldn't touch. "So you two have slept in the same bed for all this time and nothing has happened? At least tell me the poor boy has seen you naked."

"…" Raven grew silent, turning her head away to look at the floor. Rule number 3 currently at question. Even though she said nothing, the answer to her question was quite clear, and sent Susan reeling.

"Oh that poor green little man. What are you doing to him? He must be going insane by now!"

"…I'm not doing anything to him; I just want him to be safe."

"So how's seeing you naked putting him in danger?"

"It could lead to other things…I just want to be safe."

"Soma, listen." Susan put an arm on her shoulder and laughed slightly. She didn't know Beast Boy that well, but she knew guys in general, and she knew how things worked with them for the most part. "I know you're heart is in the right place, but…you're killing him. He's probably got so much worked up mojo that…well…" Susan stopped there, she didn't have to go any further, nor did she care to. "The point is you've got to give him something. If not just for him, then for you as well."

"What do you mean?"

"You're not helping yourself with this either. All of that… 'Training' won't do you any good if you're not comfortable being naked around him." Raven thought about it for a moment, and hated to admit that she was right. What was she doing? The one night that was supposed to be so pure, so perfect, could be ruined with a simple casting aside of clothing, before anything even happened. She could hurt him anyways, no matter what she did. She had to stop being afraid, and take the risk so that later she wouldn't have to. Her face now blushed an even deeper hue, because now she knew…tonight, tonight she would not wear his shirt to bed…nor anything else.

Ok, sorry it took so long to get back to the BBRAE stuff but I have a very good excuse…storyline setup. Trust me, it will all be clear to you in the third part of this series. As for the content in the next chapter…well…it's not going to be that bad…but it's still going to be a bit risque to some of you. As for my gift art, I'm going to put it up as my website link in my profile. Hope you all enjoy it. Later Days!

ANSA