-1The Choice
A Harry Potter Fan Fiction by
Violet Hunter
Disclaimer: Harry Potter and characters are the sole property of J. K. Rowling. Thanks Jo, for allowing your fans to play with your work.
-1The Unbreakable Vow…?
Severus stared down at Narcissa's tearstained face, mortified by her despair yet entranced by her absolute trust in him. Her hand in his, he forgot Bellatrix' cynicism, Pettigrew's snooping, and the Dark Lord's fury. Strangely enough he thought of Sirius Black…
A year before…
Can't even go to the loo in this blasted shack without injury, Severus thought, slamming the bathroom door. One of the few pleasures he got from Order meetings was the knowledge that Black hated Grimmauld Place more than he did. Heading towards the parlor he paused as an angry voice declared: " being here is hell enough without having that greasy git smirking in my face."
Snape peered down the length of the hall. Detecting no trace of Arthur Weasley's red haired heathens, Snape crouched behind the door, peering through the crack. The werewolf Lupin lounged in a gargoyle of a chair and watched Black pace.
"What's with Dumbledore, anyway? " Black barked. "Harry gets ambushed by Dementors and he asks Snivellus' opinion? Can't Dumbledore see that man doesn't give tinker's dam about Harry? If anything he hates Harry more than he hated James."
Wrong again, Black, Snape sneered to himself. The only person Severus hated more than James Potter was Sirius Black, although Potter's brat ran a close second.
"Why do you let Snape get to you?" Lupin asked with mild irritation. "Let him have his moment of glory. Think of whom he has to deal with--"
"Oh, spare me the Snape's facing insurmountable danger spiel, especially after that crack he made about you being on holiday." Black plopped down next to Lupin and confiscated his butterbeer. Snape blanched as Black took a swig from the bottle without cleansing the rim of werewolf saliva. "It's not like you're out for a day at the beach with your furry mates. If that wild lot turns on you, they'll kill you just as dead as an Avada Kadavra ."
"That's encouraging,." Lupin laughed.
"I'm just saying Moony, that you're in danger as well. Hagrid could be eaten during negotiations with the giants. Anyway, if Voldemort distrusted Snape he'd already be dead. " Sirius poked Lupin with the bottle. "Why does Voldemort trust him, that's the question. Has Snape said one word against Voldemort? He looks ready to murder us every time we says his name." Snape stepped back. Had Dumbledore noticed this as well?
"You worked with Snape." Black was saying. "Do you really think he's changed?"
Lupin shrugged.
"He's as unpleasant as ever. He's sarcastic, picks on the more timid students like he picked on Peter at school. But he could have refused Dumbledore's request to make my potion. He didn't."
"Yet, he cost you your job."
"Severus Snape is always going to be Severus Snape, Sirius," Lupin pronounced. "He's a vengeful, small minded, petty man. Doesn't put him on a par with Voldemort. And he wasn't alone wanting me out . Look how close I came to getting at the kids--what if you hadn't been there?"
Snape hissed, more furious with the Werewolf and Dog's continued use of the Dark Lord's name, than their insulting attitude. No wonder Potter disrespected his position.
Sirius shook his head. "I owed you--guess I finally understood why Snape was so angry that day."
Lupin held up his hands "Sympathy for Snape? Who are you and what have you done with my best friend?" he quipped. Sobering he added: "Thing is, if Dumbledore believes Snape's changed, maybe there's something to it."
"I have nothing but the greatest respect for Albus Dumbledore. But he structured his trust on Snape's loyalty for ten years when there was no Voldemort to follow. Not every Death Eater is as fanatical as my cousins."
"I don't know what Dumbledore's trust is based on, but he told me Snape repented before Voldemort fell."
"Really? How long before? Isn't it rather curious he never spotted Peter in the Death Eater circle?"
Outside the room Snape's eyes narrowed. He wondered when someone would ask that question. At least it was Black rather than Moody or Dumbledore.
"Maybe Peter wasn't in the circle?"
"Harry told us Peter had a "place" next to Malfoy. He said Voldemort used Peter's mark to summon the other Death Eaters…"
"You don't want to go there, Padfoot."
"I live there," Black informed Lupin with a snort. "I spent twelve years wondering who helped Peter set me up. If I had known Snape was a Death Eater I could saved precious time."
Snape held his breath. Lupin finally shook his head.
"No. " He was firm. "Snape couldn't have known about Peter. I mean if--No. Dumbledore trust him."
"Dumbledore trusted Lily's wizard hating sister to give Harry a good home--"
"Be fair. Sirius. Harry had to go somewhere and that woman is Lily's sister. Dumbledore couldn't have guessed Pansy-Tulip--what is her name?"
"Compost?" Sirius suggested.
Lupin grinned. "Thing is, Lily never uttered a word against her sister," Lupin said. "Dumbledore couldn't have guessed any mother would be so cruel as to make a baby sleep in a storage cupboard."
Snape stifled his snort of laughter, imagining James Potter's haughty little pup cowering from a nest of spiders in the small dark hole.
Sirius stood up.
"She made him-- what cupboard? You mean like--?" He pointed to a corner of the room.
Lupin blinked. Snape couldn't see Black's face, but from the Werewolf's expression he anticipated an explosion.
"I --thought Harry told you" the werewolf stammered. "Calm down, Sirius. He has a proper room now." Black wasn't listening.
"I don't care what Dumbledore says, I'm having a word with that-- My harridan of a mother wouldn't have made a baby--"
"She wouldn't?" Lupin cut in "What about Kreacher's so called room?"
"Don't start in on me about being kind to that foul piece of--I told him take my brother's old room. He behaved as if I asked him to spit out the Eucharist. As I told Dumbledore, Kreacher doesn't want my kindness. He wants me dead."
Snape made mental note: Befriend Black's house elf.
Black broke off and shoved his hands into his pockets. "Don't think you can distract me. Harry's just an innocent boy. He must be frightened and lonely, hold up in that place -- a prisoner in his own house."
Snape rolled his eyes. The boy was still breathing wasn't he?
"Are you talking about Harry or yourself?"
"What--? Harry of course--fine, both of us, then. Since when is empathy with your godson wrong? You've been listening to Molly Weasley." Black accused.
"Molly's had a few more years experience with parenting than you've had, Sirius," said Lupin.
"Meaning?"
"Meaning: both of you should to step back a moment and look beyond on your own good intentions," Lupin replied with maddening equanimity. "Molly and Arthur can help you with Harry. And--well Molly needs reminding that fatherhood is new to you. She's had over twenty uninterrupted years of parenthood to iron out the kinks. You and Harry have to learn to be a family. Family takes time, patience, not just declarations of love and a plate of warm biscuits. You and Harry have had very little time."
"Yeah, well, we won't get it if Mother Superior Molly Weasley has anything to say about it," Black sulked. "She completely ignores the fact that I'm Harry's legal and spiritual guardian. Did you see her face when Dumbledore called me reckless? She looked more smug than Snivellus."
Task Two, Snape thought. Charm Molly Weasley.
"Molly is not your enemy Sirius," Lupin reprimanded with a sigh. "She sincerely loves Harry. She was there for him when you couldn't' be."
Snape saw Sirius' head droop.
"Don't you think I realize that?" he conceded. "She's been wonderful, and I'm more than grateful to her and her family. You should have seen her boy, Ron, stand up for Harry--even injured. She's a great Mum, but she's not Harry's Mum. I'm here now --and you're right of course, I'm a little jealous that Harry is free to go to her any time."
"And Molly's a little jealous of you," Lupin said. "You and Harry bonded so quickly. It's as if Harry remembers the day he called you Paddy --Lily told me--said James was green for weeks. Molly only knows the eleven year old, polite young orphan looking for Platform Nine and three-quarters. She doesn't know you, and she never knew James or Lily-- or how close the four of you became in those last days" Lupin's lips curved in a rueful smile. "All Molly knows about you is that you spent twelve years in Azkaban. And Dumbledore is right. You have to trust he has Harry's best interest --. "
"Dumbledore is not Harry's family!" Sirius retorted "I'm Harry's Godfather. I promised James and Lily-Dumbledore doesn't understand."
Lupin stood. Taking Sirius by the shoulders he shook him, though gently.
"Dumbledore more than anyone wants you and Harry to have the opportunity to be the family James and Lily intended when they appointed you Harry's guardian. He's been on Severus for weeks about a way to lure Peter into the open. You have to believe that Dumbledore, and all of us Sirius, are on your side. Even Molly will understand once she sees you and Harry together. But you won't be here for Harry if the Ministry catches and kills you. The boy's had enough loss."
"But he's miserable."
"He's safe." Lupin interjected. He lifted his hands, running his fingers through his hair. Making a futile gesture he said: "I wasn't going to say anything, but you should know: Mad-eye, Emmeline, Arthur, Tonks and I spoke to Dumbledore. Emmeline convinced Dumbledore that you and Harry might be less - restless if you were here together. We're going to pick Harry up."
"I'm going."
"This is why we didn't tell you. You have to stay here."
"I can hear Snape now--"
"For pity's sakes. Stop talking like a child!" Lupin snapped " Do you want Harry here with you or not?"
"Of course I want him here, but--"
"Then forget Snape and enjoy your time with your godson.. No one gives a flying fig what Severus Snape thinks about your parenting skills. " Except Dumbledore, Snape thought with grim satisfaction just as Lupin added: " Least of all Dumbledore. James and Lily trusted you to be a father to their son and that is all that matters to Dumbledore. He respects their wishes. He respects you. And Snape, well, I'll never understand why Dumbledore gave that sadistic -I mean Severus-- a post teaching children. He said something about children needing to know not every one who is decent is nice-- Like Neville Longbottom, Harry, or Susan Bones needed a lesson in adult cruelty. Then again he hired me and I'm a werewolf."
"You're too modest, Moody," Sirius chided. "He hired you because you're a brilliant teacher--the best according to what I heard when I was looking for Peter. And you couldn't be cruel to a child if you tried." Lupin waved the comment away.
"I'm trying to say that as much as I enjoy young people, dedication to teaching and taking on the task of parenting are two different animals. Few teachers are in your life for the long haul, unless they were extremely motivational, or sadistic gits. Severus Snape, from all accounts, even from more than a few of the Slytherin students I've taught, definitely fits the latter category. Can you imagine any one trusting Severus Snape to stand as Godfather and Guardian to their child?"
"Heard enough Severus?" someone whispered.
Snape spun around, his hand on his wand. Dumbledore stood behind him, his face a troubling mixture of amusement and a hint of something like sorrow. He inclined his head towards the end of the hall.
"The meeting is that way."
Snape gazed at Dumbledore wondering how long the old man had stood there. Dumbledore raised an eyebrow, but offered nothing. Snape turned on his heel and stalked down the hall, feeling the cool blue eyes on his back.
Yes, Narcissa, I will take the Unbreakable Vow:
…Snape resisted an extraordinary impulse to wipe the tears from Narcissa's cheek. Her tears were like cleansing waters. Her hand in his trembled a moment as if she held her heart. Her belief in him was pure, without threat or the burden of esoteric virtue. All Black could do for Potter was die, Snape thought as Bellatrix bound his hands to Narcissa's. The binds were his bridge to a new life. He would not disappoint Narcissa. He would lead Draco to eternal glory for both of them--even if he had to kill to achieve it. 7/20/06