Disclaimer: I own nothing. Not Newsies, not LOVE. NOTHING!

Title: Violence Recovery

Author: Buttons14

Genre: Drama

Rating: M (subject to change)

All she wants from me's to say goodbye—Black Cat; Boy

Chapter 20—Autumn

It's late at night. The snow is drifting silently by my window and the streetlight is casting their wafting shadows around the room. I managed to drive Jack and I home after shopping. Luckily the car was automatic and I picked it up pretty fast. Jack is now sleeping on the sofa in the living room with an ice pack on his brow and a soft, distressed murmur on his lips.

Blink is sleeping already. The foot of his bed is littered with text books and t-shirts. He's wearing his jeans and a sweater, sleeping on top of his sheets. I'm hugging my pillow to me chest and staring at the floor, watching the snowflake shadows dancing on the carpet.

Thump!

Directly above me something hits the ground…hard.

Thump! Thumpthump! Bangbangbang!

Blink jerks out of his sleep. "Whazzgoinon?" he asks blearily. I point at the ceiling. Blink gets out of be, knocking his math textbook onto the floor, and opens the door. "What's going on, man?" he asks again.

"I don't know, I was asleep," comes Crutchy's voice from across the hall.

Upstairs a girl screams and Blink takes off. "Crutchy, get Denton and Medda," he yells, but Skittery darts past the door, already on his way downstairs. I leap out of bed, getting tangled in my sheets and trailing them halfway across the room before I manage to lose them. I follow Blink, who is bounding up the steps, two at a time.

The lights in the girls hall is on and Andra is dragging a sobbing Aurora out of her room. "What's happening?" I ask Ele frantically. Her choppy hair is tied into a short, pokey ponytail and she's wearing a soft-looking long-sleeved navy blue t-shirt with her pajama bottoms.

"It's Autumn," she says, her pale brown eyes are wide and fearful. "She's done it again. But it's worse now."

I feel panic growing in my chest. 'She's done it again.' Just like my first night. I remember Medda, rushing downstairs with her hair wild and her green eyes frightened. 'Bryan, she's done it again.' But for the three months I've been here, I still don't know what 'it' is.

"Come on Spot!" shouts Blink, rushing into Autumn and Aurora's room. I sprint after him.

Autumn is sitting on the floor, holding a razor blade in her hand. On her left arm a long cut runs from the inside of her elbow to her wrist. There is blood dripping off of the blade and the cut is blurry around the edges as the blood seeps along her skin. She looks tired but upset and her head droops to the side, the way people who are about to fall asleep do. "Don't let her fall asleep!" I scream, rushing to her side.

Blink takes her right hand in his and gently takes the blade out of her loose fingertips. With his free hand Blink cradles Autumn's chin. "Hey, hey, hey, hey," he says softly, "listen to me, don't fall asleep, OK? Just talk to me. Just talk. Keep your eyes open."

Autumn mutters something. I tear the bed sheet closest to me and I dab her arm with it, drawing away blood and soaking the sheet crimson red. I tear another piece and begin to wrap it around her arm. Her left hand twitches. "Sorry," I mumble, "but it has to be tight."

I can hear footsteps on the stairs. Fast footsteps.

Then, all of a sudden, Medda is at the door and Denton is close behind her. "Oh, Autumn," she says softly. There are tears welling up in her eyes.

Autumn looks up. It takes her eyes a few seconds to focus. When they do, she licks her chapped lips and whispers, "I'm sorry." And then her eyes close.

"No!" shouts Blink, shaking her head a bit. Autumn's eyelids flutter.

I am wringing the bloody sheet in my hands. Medda and Denton step into the room, promptly taking the place of Blink and I. Denton wafts smelling salts under Autumn's nose and Medda undoes the sheet and pulls a bottle of disinfectant out of her First Aid kit. Autumn rests her head back so that her neck is curved around her bedside table. Her eyes are open, but glazed. Her lips are moving a bit. She's whispering something.

"That's right honey, keep talking to us," says Medda as she rewraps Autumn's arm.

"Kids, I think you should go downstairs. You don't need to see this," Denton tells us.

I hear Blink swallow. "But, Denton—"

"Blink. Please shut the door."

Beside me Blink slowly reaches forward and pulls the door towards us.

Right before the door shuts Autumn opens her mouth to speak. "Don't! DON'T! DON'T CLOSE THE DOOR! OPEN THE DOOR!" she screams, in a feral, high-pitched voice. "BLINK! BLINK! PLEASE!" We can hear struggling sounds, like someone is kicking the floor or a wall. "OPEN THE GODDAMN DOOR!"

So Blink does. When he does, Medda and Denton are holding Autumn's arms and she's staring at us with tears running down her face. "Ask me what's wrong," she hisses.

"What—?" Blink looks confused.

"ASK ME WHAT THE FUCK IS WRONG!"

Blink drops to his knees so that he's face-to-face with Autumn. He looks right into her light brown eyes. "What's wrong?"

She opens her mouth and wails. She cries like she's been wounded. I want to look away, but it's like a car crash—I just can't tear my eyes away. She pulls at her hair with both arms, seeming to forget her injured one. When she stops crying, she starts screaming. She throws a pillow at the wall and hurls a picture frame from her bedside table towards a wall, where the glass shatters into a million pieces. Blink looks around as though he doesn't know what to do. Autumn buries her face in her knees and cries and screams and swears. Blink crawls towards her and wraps his arms around her.

"Shh…" he breathes, running his hand down her back. "It's OK. What's wrong? Autumn, what's wrong?"

Autumn rests her head on Blink's shoulder, so that we can see her forehead and her matted hair. I take a step forward and sit down, two steps inside the door. Someone sits down beside me and soon the doorway is filled. I look behind me and everyone is crammed into the room. Charley props her knees on my back and tucks her hands into her sleeves. I reach behind me and take her hand. She smiles a bit. Beside her Coin is biting her nails down to the quick. Boots wraps his arm around her shoulders. Near the back of the room, Andra is rubbing Aurora's back and she has her head resting on Crutchy's shoulder; her eyes half open. David is sitting beside me. He looks over and nudges me a bit with his elbow. I nod and he nods back. Skittery is standing in the doorway and behind him Racetrack silently approaches.

Autumn sighs. "What's wrong, huh?" she laughs a bitter, sniffly laugh. "Where to start?" her voice is a bit muffled, her face buried in Blink's chest. "Sometimes, I miss my daddy. I miss him so much. He was the best dad. The very best…but…but when he died…I was only seven…and my daddy was gone. And my mother used to cry a lot. She was so upset, but she learned how to numb the pain…" Autumn's head comes off of Blink's shoulder. She looks right into Blink's eyes, like he's the only one in the room. "I think I knew what cocaine was before I could do my multiplication tables." She bit her lip hard and tears welled up in her eyes. When she began to speak again, sharp red teeth marks spattered her lower lip. "But she met Mike. Met him at a recovery meeting. She told me he was a good guy. And he would…he would bring me to the zoo and he bought us new clothes…and…and a new car. Then they got married." She frowns and squints her eyes at Blink. "It was a nice wedding. Small though. But my mother wore a nice bl—" she hiccoughs "blue dress, since it was her second marriage. She was clean and sober and happy. I was fifteen and I remember being so proud of her because he beat it. And Mike was I nice guy, I kept telling myself that. Except that there was something about the way he looked at me that made my…it made my skin craw, y'know?"

Blink nods and puts his hand on her shoulder. "And then what?"

"And then what? And then he would but his arm on my back, on the low part—" she hiccoughs again "and I asked him not to, but he just smiled and said I was imagining things." She looks sharply at Blink. "But I wasn't imagining things! I knew it! And I didn't imagine it when he crawled into be with me…or when he took off my nightgown…or when…or when he touched me. But I couldn't say anything. Blink, I just couldn't. My mother was so happy. And I liked seeing her happy. So I just counted the days instead. Two hundred and twenty four days. Two hundred and twenty four days until my guidance counselor told me I was failing three classes and then I told him. And then Mike got arrested. And then my mom found cocaine again. She would scream at me when…when she wasn't so drugged up to forget where she was. And I failed the ninth grade. But…" she starts crying really hard. It is a sloppy type of crying. Charley squeezesmy fingers tighter. David stares at his socks. Autumn wails in a pained tone, "BUT SHE CALLED ME INTO HER ROOM! AND SHE HAD MY DADDY'S PISTOL! 'YOU TOOK AWAY EVERYTHING!' SHE SCREAMED. SHE CALLED ME A 'LITTLE FUCK'." Autumn screams loud and haunting. "And she put the nozzle to her temple and she…and she…and she…."

She cries and she keeps crying. I take Charley's hand and we step towards them. Everyone follows us and we surround them in a hug. David's watch beeps.

"It's Christmas Eve," he whispers. Autumn keeps crying.

End Chapter

((Leaving for London this evening. Please enjoy this while I'm away. I updated fast, eh? Yeah. Please, please, please review!))