Title: Cell Block Tango
Verse: X-Men movieverse
Timeline: Post X3
Author: KumaDaPuma
Rating: T
Disclaimer: I don't own these characters and I am not making any money off of this. Cell Block Tango is a song from the Broadway hit Chicago featuring six murdering women. I had absolutely no part in it's creation nor am I benefiting from it's popularity. I'm just a gal who enjoys showtunes among many other genres.
Summary: A song fic centered around six women and their reasons/methods to murder.
Author's Note: This idea was brought to me by one of my fave reviewers: XChocolateChipX. I thank you very much for the suggestion and I hope I bring justice to this story. I am so honored that you would allow me the chance to write something based on your brilliant idea! Be forewarned all…some chapters will be funny, others dramatic…you just never know with me.
For those who don't know the song the original lyrics for the first part is:
pop
six
squish
uh uh
Cicero
Lipschitz
…but I changed the last line because I thought it would be more appropriate for this story. Here are the corrections:
pop
six
squish
uh uh
Cicero
Lehnsherr
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pop
six
squish
uh uh
Cicero
Lehnsherr
x
He had it coming
He had it coming
He only had himself to blame.
If you'd have been there
If you'd have seen it
I betcha
You would have done the same!
x
Callisto:
Mood: Jealous
x
There was a six year difference between us. All three of us apparently though I never really knew Mystique. I saw the pain in his eyes whenever someone mentioned her name but for the most part Magneto didn't say anything about her. Still, I knew that he had loved her. Which made me all the more glad that she was gone.
Pyro told me that Mystique was thirty-one years old, twelve years his senior. I didn't ask him how he knew this. Pyro himself was only nineteen. I am twenty-five. Exactly in the median of their ages. I was six years younger than Mystique, six years older than Pyro.
Magneto. The man is a god. He says I'm a goddess among insects. He immediately appointed me as one of his top soldiers. I couldn't have been more proud. When I led him to the mobile prison where he seemed anxious to release who he called his "most loyal and beloved soldier" I couldn't help but feel slightly jealous. I had only known him for a few days but already I wanted to be the one that he was most appreciative of.
No, I know what you're thinking. I wasn't in love with the man. Eww…he's like three times my age. Rather he was like a father figure and I wanted to be his favorite child. Luckily for me that woman took the dart for him or else I would have had some serious contention. Plus it would have been like a mother daughter struggle and daughters never win when it comes to a man's affection for his partner.
Still, there was the "son". Pyro. I couldn't stand that punk when we first met him in Boston. What a smug little bastard. But he was Magneto's right hand man, or at least he was now that Mystique was gone. I could tell he had been jealous of her for the same reason I was jealous of him. He was Magneto's favorite. I hated him.
I don't understand why Magneto chose him. Sure, he had been one of the first to join the Brotherhood and his powers were actually quite impressive but he was a punk kid with no love for authority whose fiery temper could cause a lot of trouble. Lucky thing Magneto has him under his thumb or else Pyro would be uncontrollable. My level of mutancy is a little lower than Pyros's but not by much. Neither of us are even close to the level Magneto is at. He's a level four mutant and quite powerful. Or at least he was.
We had all failed him that night on Alcatraz. That dumb weather witch was smarter than she looks. Damn her. Pyro was head butted. Haha! What an idiot. One hit and he was out like a light. But poor Magneto. He got stabbed with four cure darts. After that he was no longer a god. I have no idea what happened to him once the dust settled.
I found myself homeless and lost in the city of San Francisco. Now what? After wandering a few days I stumbled across a large group of people huddled around a small fire in the middle of an alley. One of them had a familiar tattoo. I showed them my similar tattoo and I was immediately welcomed into their group.
These other mutants quickly became my best friends. There were six of us. I was the only class three mutant. We raised hell.
A few weeks later I had left the group to go get some potato chips from the local corner store and a bag of weed from the local corner dealer. When I came back I saw there was a new member. I felt immediate irritation upon seeing the familiar face.
"Hey, Callisto!" One of the guys said exuberantly. "This is Pyro. He's a class four mutant!" I was now outclassed. Again. What the hell?
"I know." I said, my face contorted in jealousy.
"Oh, that's right. She can sense the powers of other mutants." My friend told Pyro though the fireball stood staring at me with that stupid smirk.
"Just shut up. I know this brat." I said.
"Thought you'd be glad to see a fellow brother, Callisto." Pyro sneered. Before I could even reply my friends had him surrounded like he was the star quarterback just voted homecoming king. I glared at him enviously. First Magneto and now my friends? He always has to show me up? What an ass! Just because he's in a higher class doesn't make him better than me. And I intended for him to know that.
It was time to fight fire with fire.
"Hey Fire Freak!" I yelled to him. Everyone around him quieted down and turned their attention to me including the boy in the middle. "You think you're better than me? Let's see what you got!" I said in my most cliché speech ever. Everyone glanced at one another and then over at Pyro who never let his gaze stray from mine. The silence that followed was loud with tension as we glared hard at each other at a hundred paces, our arms hung stiffly at our sides, like we had imaginary guns in our imaginary holsters. I could almost here the theme from The Good, The Bad and The Ugly in the background.
The others sensed a fight was about to break out in the middle of this back alley. They climbed on top of the dumpsters and boxes and settled in to watch the battle.
Pyro continued to give me that death stare of his. He's such a snobby kid. I can't stand him. We faced each other trying to kill one another with our looks but slowly realizing it was going to take more than that to exile the other from our new group. I waited for him to make the first move. And waited…
My super fast reflexes easily noted the first sign of attack. His index finger on his right hand twitched. As soon as he released a blaze of fire from his handy lighter I took off running in his direction. He shot out a burst of fire that bolted at me with surprising speed. But nothing is faster than I am. I dodged it, feeling the searing heat lick at my skin, before running towards Pyro again. He shot out another fireball which sailed past me, hitting the brick wall at the back of the alleyway. As soon as it passed me I stopped where I was and let him see me waving my finger at him and shaking my head unimpressed. He gritted his teeth in anger and then released three more successive fireballs at me. He had aimed it so that the fire enveloped the entire alley, blocking my way towards him. I ran in the other direction towards the back of the alley where it dead ended. I ran behind a dumpster where I found everyone else hiding as the fireballs shot past me and hit the brick wall. I stood up and as fast as I could ran towards where Pyro stood. He was able to release his sixth and last fireball before I easily dodged it and caught up to him. I held my arm out and clothes lined him right in the neck. He went flying backwards where his whole body hit the pavement in a sickening thud. I stood above him, my shadow outlining my body over his now feeble form. I saw his right index finger twitch again and before he had time to fire up his lighter I kicked his hand repeatedly until the lighter flew off and landed among the trash next to the dumpsters.
"All right! All right! You win Callisto!" He yelled once he realized he was not going to win this fight. I stopped and glared at his puny form. Though he just lost the battle he glared back at me with the same bratty unwarranted demeanor as though it had ended in a draw. "Jeez, Speedy, that time of the month, huh?" He said as he stood up and brushed himself off. I heard snickering from behind me. How dare those "friends" of mine laugh at his joke on me! I just frickin won! Why do I still feel like Pyro remains the real winner? I turned and gave them all an evil glare and that shut them the hell up. I felt a hand go to my shoulder and I turned to look at Pyro giving me the last thing I wanted to see. He was giving me a pity look.
"Calm down, Callisto, sheesh!" He said shaking his head at me. "No wonder everyone likes me better. Even Magneto thought I was better than you." That statement boiled my blood. Magneto did not think that! I tried to calm down but I could feel myself growing hot with wrath. Pyro's stupid grin alone caused me to hate everything. At that moment I hated everything and everyone and it was all because of that stupid boy standing in front of me. I tried to calm down, knew I was being silly, but that stupid pity look…
"Callisto? You okay?" Pyro asked. He barely had time to react before I head butted him like Iceman had done. The kid was down again holding his head in complete painful surprise. I kicked him in the head once. I kicked him twice. I kicked him a third and then a fourth and then a fifth and then a sixth time before the blood that was running out of his mouth and nose had splattered all over the brick of this back alley. The others watched in horror as I destroyed this male chauvinistic pig. He was a brat, a snob, an idiot. He was overrated and immature. He was an asshole. He was the devil.
As soon as I realized he was dead I stopped and looked at his remains. Nope, I didn't feel in the least bit bad about it. I hope that devil went back to hell where he belongs. I noticed something in his front pocket and I took it as a souvenir of my good deed. As I walked by the other mutants they all cowered away in fear. Those dumbasses.
It didn't take long for the cops to find me. Its hard for a homeless girl to hide, ya know? The only thing they found on me was my latest acquisition. A lighter with the mark of the devil on it: 666.
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Author's note: So, I don't know if you've noticed but I'm trying to make all the writing aspects different. The upcoming chapters will showcase that idea. This story had a small fight included in it which enhanced it to action status. Next chapter Jugs is gonna die. Who did it? Find out tomorrow. Same X-time. Same X-channel.
XChocolateChipX - I'm glad you're liking this story so far! Without your idea this story would not exist.
Frankie - Haha! I've been waiting to murder Logan for quite some time. Note it was the first chapter. Lol.
cajun-beauty - That was a good guess, and my original idea was to have Kitty kill him but I couldn't figure out a good way to do it. Plus I wanted to write Callisto in cause I love any member from the Brotherhood.
AngelofSnow - I can't believe no one ever realized his adamantium skeleton is a great electrical conductor. How does he even survive microwaving things? Whatever. Anyway, you know you're awesome and that you're one of the most amazing writers on this site! Thanks for being an inspiration and laughing at all the appropriate fics!