Not so glorious

Three hours later, back at Chimera HQ

"They are talking about giving you a medal."

"I won't accept it if they do." Ai said flatly as she finished stripping down her rifle.

"Why not? Those were good shots and you put down a known, infamous, murderer with no collateral damage." Terminal was working on her own weapon as well. Her armor was pitted and scored with impacts from both slugs and plasma. The breach team hadn't had an easy time in the building, but the smugglers day had been far worse. The one survivor could count himself lucky that Terminal had packed tranquilizer rounds instead of her usual load. Ai hadn't been sure about that load out at all, but Terminal had done her job, taken the guy down non-lethally when he had tried to ambush the team. In Ai's own experience so called 'tranq' rounds either did not work at all or they worked too well, killing the targets.

"Aside from the fact that I am supposed to be covert and award ceremonies are anything but covert? I took a life, Terminal. No more, no less." Ai said with a shrug. "Yes, what he was planning on doing was horrific, but if any of the kids saw what I did to him, they will scarred for life in all likelihood even with good shrinks."

"And if Valere had been one of those kids?" Terminal asked.

"Please don't start." Ai said softly and Terminal shook her head. "What I do, what Chimera does, is bad, Terminal. It is awful. I am good at it, but such was and is my life. I do not do it for medals. Taking lives is not supposed to be a light burden, or a reason to glorify those who do it. We had entire courses in my old unit about why and when we had to act. And… We had some some spectacular failures in the beginning. We learned the hard way what happens when some people get power and learn to like such." Terminal stared at Ai and something in the Nightstalker's face shook the team medic. "I have no regrets for taking the shot I did, but celebrating the death of any sentient being is wrong."

"You did something good today!" Terminal protested. "He wasn't going to stop."

"I know that." Ai reassured the medic. "Like I say, I have no regrets for the shots. But it is not something to be celebrated! Taking sentient lives should never be glorified. It happens. Movies and various media make killing people out to be so simple, but it never is. Or, it shouldn't be." She corrected herself when Terminal started to protest. "Guns make killing people easy, Terminal. It is not hard at all to end lives. It is hard going on sometimes afterwards. All the training, desensitizing, all that…" Ai was staring off into space now. "It cannot make up for the fact that I pulled a trigger twice and ended a life today. It needed to be done. As you say, he needed to be stopped. It was the mission. I did the mission. As I say, I have no regret for stopping him even as messy as it was. But if I don't feel at least a little remorse for what I did, then I am no better than he was."

"You are nothing like him!" The Asian looking woman was all but spitting that.

"Really? Many called what I did on my other job sanctioned terrorism. You didn't see me before I came here." Ai said softly. "You didn't see me on the roof. Torque was shocked by how calm I acted when I fired. She covered it, but I know she was surprised."

"Torque is a mess." Terminal was just as soft now. "She covers it with anger, with disdain. But she is a mess." Terminal slumped, her weapon lying forgotten in her lap as Ai finished her cleaning. "We all are, in our own ways."

"She won't accept help." Ai stated and Terminal shook her head, face grim. "She survives or she doesn't on her own. I know the type, very well, in fact." She smiled a bit in fond, sad memory. "She is angry. She has a right to that. You all have a right to that, alien and human alike. The Elders came in here and took over. From what I understand, everyone they used either served or died. They won, conquered your world. But then X-Com beat them." Ai forced her tone to remain even as she spoke. She was conflicted about X-Com. They seemed so good, but at the same time, so clueless about some things. The X-Com of her time hadn't had a budget it its own, they had relied on funding from many different sources around Mega Primus. That had bit X-Com hard when the enemy had subverted the organizations that had supported the group. What a way to run a defense! Ai shook her head, banishing the past and focusing on the now. "I understand all about fighting such a war of extermination. There are only two kinds of people in such a war, Terminal."

"Those who survive and those who do not." Terminal's voice was tiny and Ai nodded. "Most of us are curious about where you fought, but we know better than to ask."

"Do not cross Director Kelly! Bad idea." Ai said with feeling and Terminal nodded, taking up her weapon again to finish her own cleaning. "How is the team?"

"Say what you will about the city, they did not skimp on medical gear. Once everyone was back here they got patched up fast. That said? Axiom is Axiom." Terminal said with a groan. "'I am okay, it didn't hit the bone!'." She said in a decent mimicry of the Muton. "Crazy Muton expected everyone to fall over when he hit the floor with his fists. If that guy had loaded AP ammo instead of toxin-" Terminal broke off with a shudder.

"You would have stabilized him." Ai said firmly and the medic stared at the Nightstalker. "You did stabilize him when he went down because of the poison." She smiled but the medic was looking at the floor. "Terminal, you saved him."

"This time. Sometimes I wonder how many of us have death wishes." Terminal said very softly. "I know Torque for one doesn't care if she lives or dies. Axiom… Maybe. The rest of us? I mean, what we do it not safe at all. It is needed, far more often than any of us who are even remotely sane want, but…" She heaved a sigh and smiled a bit forlornly. "We do the job, right?"

"Yeah. It is a job, Terminal. Not a safe one, nice one or a pretty one, but a job that needs doing." Ai agreed as she racked her rifle and started working on the spotter scope. "I was literally made to do this job, and I honestly do not know what I would do if I was offered another."

"I am not sure how I feel about that, to be honest." Terminal said with a frown. "Isn't that kind of like slavery?"

"No." Ai said firmly. "I am not a slave, Terminal. I was offered the chance to do something else, but I am good at this, if I do say so myself." She smiled at the medic who nodded, not quite convinced, but accepting Ai's explanation.

"Yeah." Terminal agreed as she finished up her own weapon and started peeling off her armor. "Those were good shots. You have to admit that. Five hundred meters with a crosswind. Both shots hit."

"I have hit targets at a thousand meters, Terminal." Ai replied with a shrug as she finished checking the scope and set it carefully in its storage spot. "With decent equipment and the right skill set, it is not hard if everything works. At that range, it is often more about luck and timing than skill. Lots of things can throw a shot off at a thousand meters. But yeah. I do admit hitting twice at five hundred got the job done."

"You are simply incapable of taking praise, aren't you?" Terminal asked as she slithered out of her armor and stared at it, a bit dismayed at its condition. "Damn, I didn't realize it was this bad."

"You were standing at the end of the fight." Ai said with a smile at the medic's shock. "Your armor did its job and so did you."

"Just like you." Terminal retorted as she stared at her armor and then sat back down to start working on it. "Even if you do not agree that you should be recognized for stopping a monster, you did a good thing. I never actually saw anyone who delighted in shedding blood,…" She made a face. "Well, except Axiom when he gets going."

"Axiom knows when to stop. Not all of them do or can." Ai replied, her gaze far away. "It… Well… I am bit strange even for my kind. I studied a lot, you see. I planned on getting out, maybe having a family. It wasn't to be."

"I am sorry." Terminal said as she pulled a melted plate out of her armor and whistled as she stared at it. "Man! I knew that plasma burst hit because of the heat, but sheesh!"

"It didn't get through." Ai shook her head as she started checking her own armor, but she hadn't taken any fire. It was a mess from the roof she and Torque had laid down on, but not damaged. Roofs were always a mess. "Good enough?"

"Yeah." Terminal shook her head as she worked a new plate into the compartment the melted one had come out of. "Good enough. It was a bit surprising that they had such weaponry. Most smugglers don't have access to have Advent plasma weaponry."

"Scavengers and smugglers find or steal all kinds of stuff." Ai snorted. "I once got shot at by a crossbow of all things." Terminal stared at her and Ai shook her head. "That scavenger missed. I didn't."

"A crossbow?" Terminal muttered. "Then again, since you are a sneaky sort, I bet you got close."

"I was about as close to him as you are to me before he noticed me. I was trying to take him out quietly and that didn't work." Ai agreed as she worked to clean bird poop off her armor. She had been lying motionless for a while and the birds had taken advantage. Terminal looked at the Nightstalker and then at her own armor. Ai shrugged. "Armor exists for a reason. My armor at the time probably would have turned such a bolt even at such close range, but I didn't give him the chance."

"Well, I for one am glad he missed." Terminal smiled at Ai who shared it.

"So am I." Ai smiled wide as Terminal did but then both women went back to their work.

For a long time, maybe five minutes, there was silence in the bay except for the sounds of armor being worked on. Then Terminal spoke up.

"I don't know if I can keep doing this." The medic said very quietly. Ai looked at her and Terminal's hands were sitting still on her armor. "This could have killed me today. And for what? Scavenged tech that might or might not work. I mean, when we first got here, everything was a mess. They needed us, even though many were not sure they wanted us."

"Been there." Ai said as she worked to clean gunk out of a crevice with a damp cloth. "It took a long time for my people to be accepted and even as of my last mission, there were those who called us crazy because of what we believed. What we followed."

"Reclamation is needed, but the breach teams… I…" Terminal slumped, staring at the floor. "I almost couldn't get to Axiom today. That asshole was shooting at my Gremlin and keeping it pinned down. I took a chance, running to Axiom out of cover and I was hit by that plasma charge. If I had… gone down… If I had been a few seconds slower..."

"I am not the one to talk to about that." Ai admitted. "After all of my training and all of my experience, I don't think there is much else I can do but what I do. Have you talked to Godmother?" Terminal shook her head. "Do it. She has her head on straight. You may need time off."

"They need me!" Terminal protested, but her heart wasn't really in it. "I am the medic!"

"And if you go down, who tends you?" Ai asked softly. Terminal did not meet her gaze and Ai sighed. "Terminal, you had a close call. You are shaken. It happens. Such happens in our line of work. Hell, we get shot at for a living! Mistakes happen too, but you didn't make any or Godmother would have called you on them. Did she?" That was humorous and Terminal grinned, just a little.

"No." Terminal admitted. "But…" She broke off as Ai snorted.

"No 'buts'." The Nightstalker said firmly. "You did good. You just realized how close that call actually was. It is a shock and shock often happens after close calls, Terminal. Even to my kind." Ai snorted. "Maybe especially to my kind. We special operations types took after action debriefings to a whole different level from this team's norm. Everything was recorded and dissected to make sure everyone knew what worked and what did not." Ai shook her head when the medic did not react. "Terminal, Chimera won this round. Hold to that. The team mission succeeded and thanks to you, no one died except some of the people who shot at you. That is a win."

"Yeah." Terminal didn't sound convinced, but then she blew out a deep breath. "I will talk to Godmother."

"You do that." Ai finished cleaning up her armor and started putting it back on. Any time Chimera was awake, they were in armor and ready to go. She approved of such. Nightstalkers were trained to live in their armor and with their weapons close at hand. She rose and started for the door, but paused when Terminal spoke again.

"Ai? Thanks."

"You are welcome." Ai smiled at the medic who was now focused solely on her armor. Ai exited the room and into the main hallway of the HQ building. There shes topped short s she saw a familiar small from waiting for her. Valere had clearly been waiting for awhile, but her smile was large as she saw Ai. "Valere."

"Ai." The girl took a step towards Ai and paused, as if unsure. "Um… I am better." Ai just looked at her and Valere closed her huge black eyes for a moment. "Um… I heard what you did. Thank you."

"Valere…" Ai growled but the girl was not dissuaded.

"That school was one the Lady helped set up." Valere said softly. "Things went bad there and I was pulled out, but the people were good. The teachers, the students. No one looked at me funny for my head or eyes. They tried to make things better. I just… I couldn't stay there after Mark died. I was so mean to him and-"

"What?" Ai asked, concern rising.

"That school was set up by a group of former Advent priests." Valere said very quietly. "The Lady wanted me to socialize. I hadn't done much of that, after this." She waved at her enlarged head and eyes. "I thought it was good idea, but then everything went bad. Mark saved me and then he died and I-" She was crying softly now and Ai took a slow step forward.

"Mark." Ai said softly. "Alley's partner Mark?" She went utterly still as Valere nodded. Ai knew the story of course. Everyone who served the Matron knew the story of where Alley had come from. The Viper hadn't wanted to share it, but Jane Kelly had gone around her, telling Ai and all of her siblings so many stories about a special group of humans and Vipers who had been tossed into a horrible situation and come out of it so much more than simple soldiers. About one brave not-quite-human-anymore-man who had defied a former doctor turned monster and died in doing so, saving hostages that included a girl named- Ai shook her head as realization dawned. Mark had died saving Valere! "Oh, Valere." Ai didn't even think about it. She knelt down and opened her arms. Valere ran into her embrace, crying and Ai hugged her gently. "It is all right, Valere." Ai crooned softly. "It is all right. You feel guilty for surviving. He wouldn't want you feeling bad about that. He made his choice."

Ai knew a lot of the story. More than even most of Cobra did, since she and her sisters were covert ops specialists and Jane Kelly had regaled them with stories about Alley's nest and the horrors that the paired humans and Vipers had survived. In the horrors of their own war, it had helped to know that they were carrying on a tradition of service. All of the nest but Alley was long gone by the time Ai was decanted from her clone pod, but the memories lived on.

"Valere." Ai just held the sobbing girl. "I am glad I was there."

"He was just gonna kill people because he could!" Valere bawled in Ai's arms and Ai held her, letting the girl cry.

"Yeah, he was." Ai did not try to sugar coat it. Such always backfired in her experience. "Valere, don't let scum like him win. If you let him dictate what you feel and when, he and people like him win."

"Why can't I be brave? Be strong? Be dangerous?" Valere demanded, anger rising to color her fear and sadness. She gave a squeak as Ai shook her and not gently!

"Because you are better than me!" Ai hissed those words in a cold, deadly tone and Valere stared at her through streaming eyes. "Valere, what I do is wrong. It is needed sometimes but it is wrong!"

"Is it?"A cold voice sounded from right behind Ai and she spun, shielding Valere from-

Ai went totally still as she took in the pair of beings who had managed to sneak up behind her. That shouldn't have been possible even with her consoling a young woman, but then again, she knew these two. Or, she knew of them She had seen their images on a memorial wall, but here they stood. Alive. Unhappy. One human. One Viper. Both held sub machine guns sort of aimed at Ai that looked far more high tech than Chimera used, but firearms were the least of the nest's weapons. Ai kept her hand well away from her holstered sidearm and did not move from shielding Valere who gave another squeak when she saw the nestmates.

"Jack. Aroa. I am Ai." Ai said into sudden, utter silence in the hallway. "We need to talk. Somewhere secure."

"Do we?" The human asked, his eyes cold. His nestmate did not move and Ai knew that particular Viper's eyes saw far more than most.

"Yes." Ai said softly. "We really do."