Beads Of Hope --
It wasn't supposed to be like this. I tried so hard to fight the inevitable. I failed. Now I accept my fate. This is what happens when you go against God.
I should've have listened to Shuichi, Tohma or hell, even my brother tried to tell me wouldn't work. Yet I stayed blissfully unaware and continued to go to him. That sweet face, and childlike demeanor were golden.
Yet he had a sexy side too. On stage and in bed, he was sexy and dominating.
I loved him. I still do, although I am dying.
Why did I think that him, an adult man, with desires and needs, would want me. I'm just, in his words, a kid. What do I know about anything?
I know I loved him, love him, and I gave myself to him fully. I thought he loved me too. I think I was wrong.
To come home one day, and find my lover, my life, in be with a woman, it tore my heart apart. I fell to my knees and began to sob. I didn't shout or holler. I couldn't. What good would that have done? Sure crying wasn't best either, but Gods did it help.
He looked at me with a look I will always remember. A look of pity. He pitied me, and he should. He really should. Here I thought he had cared for me. What a lie. All of it. Everything he had whispered into my ear as we made love, was lies.
So here I am. I really am dying. I manage to slit my wrists, and if feels wonderful. The pain makes up for the lies. At least I know the pain is true, and real, and that it will not leave. No, not now, or ever.
When things start to get hazy, I smile. Everything will be better soon. I'm going to where I can imagine us together forever. I know he won't follow me to that wonderful place for quite some time after, but I can imagine and plan our eternity together.
No lies, no pain, just us.
I'm going now. Oh the wonderful sensations. I'm leaving. Good-bye lies, good-bye world, good-bye my love, Ryuichi.
Okay so what did you think? Obviously that was Tatsuha's POV. Hope you all got that. Review please.