The three men, an unconventional triangle, lingered together in the hospital room through the afternoon. Kakashi had quickly resigned himself to staying put until the following day. He lay quietly, on the border between waking and sleeping, using his long since perfected expertise for recouping depleted chakra.
Iruka sat propped next to him, feeling slightly awkward with no papers to grade, reading some magazines that he'd found and flicking through a weapons catalogue. He glanced up from time to time at Sampo, seated on a hard chair on the other side of the room. He was reading one of Kakashi's Icha Icha books. From his serene demeanor and calm expression it might have been mistaken for a sacred text in his hands, if it wasn't for its garish colour and the scandalous illustration on the cover.
Iruka let his mind drift, wondering how this man, who had shown himself to be so full of passion, could be content to love someone that he knew would never be his. And why he knowing that Kakashi was his, that the love Sampo hungered for had been given to him alone, could still be insecure enough to feel jealous. It made him feel guilty, as well as jealous.
Iruka left the room from time to time, leaving the other two to their comfortable silence and wandering the hospital, in the hope of finding some information about the others still being watched and treated. He told himself that it was because he was restless, that he'd never had as much patience as a ninja should. But really he knew that it was fear that drove him. Fear that Kakashi was still the only capable jounin in the village and that if Itachi made a second attempt on him too soon, he'd be facing him alone. Again.
He didn't delude himself that he and the other chuunins could offer much help, not against Uchiha Itachi. Or that Kakashi would let them try.
He saw a number of familiar faces as he peeped in through doorways, and to his relief many of them were alert and propped up in their beds. But even from outside the rooms he could tell that they had a long way to go in regaining their power. The Akatsuki's bomb may not have worked the way it was intended but it had still been an effective weapon in bringing Konoha to its knees.
It wasn't just the jounins who were waking up. The hospital corridors too seemed more populated and lively, as if the whole place was slowly emerging from some kind of hibernation.
By the time he returned from his most recent excursion, clouds had gathered in the sky beyond the window. Darkening the room prematurely even as the sun westered in its short, low loop across the sky. Sampo stood up from his uncomfortable chair.
"I'll be back in a little while Kaka-kun, Iruka-san. Is there anything you'd like me to get you? From outside?"
Kakashi barely stirred as Iruka settled back beside him, to watch and to wait. "No thanks. We're good."
When Sam returned it was dark but for the glow of a nightlight behind the bed. He flipped on the light, startling them both from their half slumber and dropped a white cardboard box on Iruka's lap.
"A little present for you both, in lieu of cake."
Iruka passed it on to Kakashi, who sat up and snapped its ribbon as if it was tissue paper.
The box contained walnut sized chocolate spheres, glistening with dew from the chill outside.
Kakashi's eyes opened wide, glowing like lanterns. "Sam! You didn't. How?"
Old Moe's granddaughter. I heard that she'd become a cook too, and that she knew some interesting family recipes. So I tracked her down. I know you always liked these."
"Like them! I adore them. Where on earth did she get fresh cherries at this time of year? And not just fresh, there're huge. I always thought that must have been my imagination, these giant cherries, because I was… small."
"Well you know that Moe always had his sources. I think these cherry pleasure bombs of his were the real reason you came to the house as often as you did."
"You know perfectly well I'd have begged to be taken along, even if you fed me dog food."
Sam and Kakashi exchanged a soft look that made Iruka's heart lurch painfully.
"I did once, remember."
"You mean I wasn't supposed to save that for Pakkun?"
"Well… I was deliberately vague, I just wanted to see what you'd do."
Kakashi dropped one of the cherries into his mouth and lay back onto the bed, chewing slowly. "Gah, now I can die happy."
Iruka felt the blood drain from his face. He wished he'd chosen another way of putting it. But he took a cherry as it was offered and bit into it. It was, in a word, incredible. "Wow."
Kakashi turned towards him, watching the pleasure light in his eyes. "Aren't they?"
"What's it filled with, cream?"
"Clotted cream."
"And it's soaked in… some kind of wine, and…?"
Kakashi leaned in, to lick a crumb of chocolate from his lower lip, it quivered in response and Iruka found himself staring into Kakashi's eyes, trapped in their unmatched gaze like a cobra's next victim.
His chocolate scented words were warm and breathy across his cheek. "She'll never tell. Cooks have more secrets than ninjas, right Sam?"
Iruka blinked as he was reminded of the third man's presence. He turned to see him already standing by the door.
"Well I'll be going now, is the couch still mine?"
"Er, sure, as long as you want it. I'll stay here just a little while longer, I have to get this idiot to eat some real food too."
Kakashi was holding his third cherry in one hand while he used the tip of his tongue to lap at the luscious filling in it's little hole. His other hand, meanwhile, was slowly creeping a path up Iruka's inner thigh, while the deep lust in his eye made the connection between the two embarrassingly obvious. "A ninja's life is dangerous and uncertain, so always eat desert first. Rule number…"
Iruka slapped the hand away and abandoned him to his gluttony.
Once outside the door Iruka glanced back to make sure that Kakashi couldn't see him, then took Sampo's hand in both of his. "Thanks, and not just for the cherry bombs. Thanks for reminding him that he has good memories too."
Unexpectedly Sampo pulled him in and hugged him tight, before turning sharply and walking away.
0000000000000000000000000
Jiraiya could have carried Gai, he was certainly strong enough. But even if the blood jutsu was gone. It didn't mean that the threat from the Akatsuki had vanished with it. Taking Gai with them would put him in danger at the very least, since he was unconscious and unable to defend himself. And protecting Naruto had always been his prime objective, splitting his focus would only endanger them all. So… Gai would probably wake up sooner rather than later, and gambol back to Konoha eager to fight, revitalised and clueless. No one would notice the difference.
He used an air jutsu to cover him with a smattering of leaves and led Naruto away.
"Hey Ero-sennin, you're going the wrong way, we've gotta get back to Konoha and see Sakura."
"Sakura? Oh yes, she's fine Naruto, just fine. You saved her, you protected her from the explosion. You saved everyone."
"Wow! I did? Me? Whoa amazing what you can do sometimes without even trying. So. Er, why are we going the wrong way?"
Jiraiya knew very little about the Akatsuki, they weren't called a secret society for nothing. But one thing that he had gleaned from his years of snooping was that they seldom worked alone. Maybe they didn't completely trust each other's competence, or maybe they just didn't completely trust each other. But however many there were hidden in the surrounding countryside, if he didn't stop Naruto from shedding fox chakra, they wouldn't remain hidden much longer.
"Naruto, do you remember when the Akatsuki went after Gaara?'
"Well yeah, I'm not likely to forget that in a hurry, after what the damn fuckers did to him."
"Well the reason they were able take him in the first place was that he was using everything he had to protect Suna and its people, rather than concentrating on protecting himself."
Naruto scratched the top of his shaggy head. "Well yeah, he is the Kazekage, that's his job."
"But you aren't Hokage Naruto." Jiraiya gave him a sly wink. "At least not yet."
00000000000000000000000
The hospital kitchens had returned to producing vast quantities of barely edible food as if nothing had happened. To the people working there nothing had. As he returned their dirtied dishes, Iruka marveled at the difference in quality between the meal he'd just finished and the exquisite confections that Sampo had provided for them.
The pleasures of wealth, why would anyone give that up to become a monk?
As he approached Kakashi's room, he saw someone walking towards him, a chuunin with long spiky black hair above a well-bandaged face, carrying a scroll.
Iruka slapped a hand on his shoulder, hesitated for just a moment then pulled him into a fierce hug. "Kotetsu, I am so glad to see you." He ran a finger across the bandages. "And you're back at work already."
They entered the room together and Kotetsu handed Kakashi the scroll.
His official duty completed, he grinned the toothiest of toothy grins. "Yeah, Izumo is still out cold. I'll be teasing him about that for months, being stronger than him, that is. But Genma-san is back to feeling up the nurses and Asuma-san is pleading to be allowed some smokes. I expect they'll both be kicked out pretty soon. A few of the others have already been discharged. The council members are having a rare fit too. They'll be having a meeting tomorrow. That's what this is for."
He indicated the scroll that Kakashi was just starting to unroll.
Kakashi laughed and released it so that it sprang back into a coil. "But this isn't for me, this is a summons for Hokage-sama to appear before the council."
Kotetsu shrugged. "Shizune-sama said she's not up for it yet. Said I should give it to you, and Ibiki-san agreed. It's all yours as far as I'm concerned."
Iruka touched his hand. "He's right Kakashi, you are Hokage, or at least acting Hokage. You've been the only leader Konoha's had since we came back through that gate."
Kakashi shrugged off the touch and flailed his hands wide above his head. "That's… that's ridiculous. What about Shizune, Jiraiya…
Iruka had the look he reserved for telling kids that, yes, they would be going outside to practice, even though it was raining, hailing, blizzarding and/or blowing up a typhoon. "Shizune has been in the hospital, she's barely set foot outside, and Jiraiya-sama has been taking orders from you!"
Kakashi could feel his head starting to spin, maybe he had taken too many of those damn pills. Did they cause paranoia and delusions of grandeur? Field command was one thing, it was what he'd been raised to do, but no one in their right mind would ask him to run a decent sized pissing contest, much less a whole freaking ninja village.
He shrank back against his pillows. "You've all decided, I'm trapped aren't I? If I set foot outside this room before morning Shizune will have my balls and if I don't the damn council will be howling for them as soon as I screw up, which will be… immediately."
"Mmm, that would be a problem, but I already promised to love you forever, so I'd just have to deal." Iruka leaned closer, pulling Kakshi's head onto his shoulder and running his fingers through his fluffy hair. "Come on don't sweat it. Just carry on doing what you've been doing for the past couple of days, you'll be great. It's not permanent, you're just getting your feet a little wet, that's all."
Kakashi couldn't help release some of the tension from his body at the soothing contact and the scent of Iruka. He worried the collarbone pressed against his lips with the tip of his tongue, then grazed it with his teeth. "Iruka, have I ever told you how much I hate having wet feet? I swear, if it wasn't for my oath of loyalty I would be out of that gate so fast…"
Kotetsu blinked back to the real world. And just as the show was starting to get interesting.
"Oh that's another thing, the gate. People keep arriving, lots of them, we asked them to wait and they are. Which is pretty wild, since there's no one really guarding it, but we took it to mean that they're friendly at least."
"Er, people? Why are they there? Did anyone ask?"
"They all want to see you. Ibiki-san told them that you couldn't see visitors today, but they don't look as if they plan to go anywhere. They seem to think something bad has happened to you."
Well he'd hardly describe the past few weeks as good. Except perhaps for some particularly sweet moments with Iruka. On the whole it ranked for badness right up there with some of the worst times of his life. But he was surprised that it was public enough to have attracted an audience.
"Get some people down to the gate then. Start processing them and letting them in, or if they want to wait tell them I'll go down there to talk to them in the morning. Send Genma for now, sounds as if he could use something to do. And send Rock Lee and that Hyuuga boy, Neiji, from Gai's team. Between them they'll be able to see trouble coming and beat the crap out of it."
"Right Kakashi-san, er temporary acting Hokage, that is. And I'll see you at the meeting tomorrow."
Kakashi's glower threatened to turn into a sulk.
Iruka hit him, smiled and answered brightly. "He'll be there, I'll make sure of it." Scooting off the bed he stood and bowed politely. "Good bye for now Kotetsu-san."
The messenger bowed to each of them and let himself out of the room.
Kakashi just glowered some more. "I suppose this makes you temporary acting Shizune."
"I've been called worse."
"Not by me you haven't. Will you at least come with me tomorrow?"
"I can't, I wasn't asked."
"Then stay here tonight Ruka, please?"
He hesitated, something in Kakashi's tone told him that this was more than a simple request. "But you really do need a good night's sleep."
"I'll sleep better with you than without you, I promise."
Iruka sat back down, body twisted so that they were facing each other. "I'm amazed you can sleep at all after those pills."
"That's not the problem. I told you, I used to pop them like candy when I was a kid."
It wasn't really the responsibility and the council that had him so much on edge. He could see it now, and admit it to himself, so why not to Iruka, the one he'd just sworn to make his life's partner? Wasn't that part of the bargain, to share the worst as well as the best, and to trust Iruka enough to believe that it wouldn't chase him away?
"I'm afraid Ruka. Not of dying, but of living, if Itachi… That first time he caught me, the things he made me see, the delusions…" he cradled his head in his hands as if it was throbbing.
"It was hell. A living hell."
000000000000000000000
It took several hours for Jiraiya to take Naruto to his hideout. Stopping to eat along the way, ambling at a comfortable pace, while Naruto fretted and stressed about going home, to check on his teammate. It was on a nondescript mountain, amongst the clusters of small peaks that added interest and grandeur to the thick forests of fire country. Normally it would look bare rising from the sea of leaves. But at this time of year, when the forest had shed its mantle of green, the thin covering of pines that staggered up the mountainside, becoming stubbier, more twisted, and scrawnier along the way, made it look almost lush.
The sizable cave about halfway up had been his second favourite haunt as a youth, not counting those places where a glimpse of a partially, or completely, undressed woman was a possibility. His top favourite, a series of caves closer to the river, and closer to Konoha, was a place he would never set foot in again. It had been forever tainted by Orochimaru's evil.
He laughed at Naruto laughing at him as he clattered up the loose stones on the leeward slope. And laughed much louder when Naruto screamed and almost fell, as he flushed a fat tanuki from the cosy nook inside the cave entrance that it had made its winter quarters.
"Shit did you see the size of that thing?'
"They don't eat people Naruto, they just don't get on with foxes."
"Yeah yeah, very funny. So why did you drag me up to this hole, what is it about sennins and caves anyway? I keep telling you I've gotta go and see Sakura. She'll think I don't care or something."
"Sakura knows you care, she'll understand."
Between his anxiety and the heavy climb Naruto was already drawing on the fox's power. No wonder the poor tanuki had been scared. Jiraiya bared his teeth in a foxy grin of his own.
"Let's go inside, I'd like you to try a new jutsu."
"Wow, a new jutsu, why didn't you say so before."
With a snap of his fingers Jiraiya lit up his old torches. Damn if they didn't work as well as ever after forty years. Tsunade had promised to come and see them once, but never had. Well there was still time. A quick glance confined that his blanket was still tucked behind a rock where he'd left it too.
"Okay I want you to form a rasengen."
"Feh, that's not new, I've done a million of them."
"But I want you to form this from the kyuubi's chakra, and to seal it in a layer of your chakra. A rasengen within a rasengen. It will take supreme control, do you think you can do it."
"Hey I'm the chakra control champion. Watch the master old man."
Naruto scrunched his face in concentration, forming the ball of red fire. Several times it threatened to expand out of control, but he pulled it back in, compressing it into a darkly glowing sphere that he held in the palm of one hand.
"Ha! Told you it was easy. What dya want me to do now?"
Jiraiya had been gradually working his way towards the cave entrance, backing off as the evil chakra intensified. He wiped a drop of sweat from his brow onto the back of his hand and wiggled his fingers.
"Now set it in motion, slowly, but make sure it stays compressed. Think of the water balloon, don't let it puncture the skin."
The ball started to spin and rose from his hand, slowly looping around inside the cave in erratic circles, like a drunken sparrow."
"Is it a trap? Are you going to blow up the mountain?"
"No, I rather like this mountain. This is more of a decoy. A beacon. I just want to leave it bouncing around here until it runs out of power."
Naruto pulled a face. It seemed like a funny sort of decoy. He could make any number of clones that would lure someone better than a stupid bouncing ball. Although he had to admit it was rather hypnotic to watch.
"How long will it last?"
"Long enough I hope."
"You're weird Ero-sennin, all that smut has gone to your brain. So what do we do now?"
"Well I think I would like to check on Sakura, wouldn't you?"
He slapped a chakra seal on Naruto's forehead, slung him over his shoulder and set off down the mountain.
00000000000000000000
Iruka remembered sitting by Kakashi's bedside after Itachi's first attack, as his lover lay in a coma. He'd seemed so peaceful, like a puppy sleeping after being worn out by a long day of play.
And it had been a living hell. Why hadn't he told him before?
He saw the droop in Kakashi's shoulders and the clench in his jaw. He didn't need to see into his eyes to know how deep and empty they looked. "Of course I'll stay if you want me to. I'll always be here for you Kashi, never doubt that."
He slipped off his sandals and pulled his heels up onto the bed, tucking them behind Kakashi's hips, snuggling close. Their lips were about to make contact when the door swung open.
Sakura stood stock still, her face as pink as her hair. "Oh God!"
She peeped between the hands that seemed to have sprung up to her face of their own free will. Although her embarrassment, her mortification, was genuine, she could feel her inner fangirl rejoicing with glee. She'd actually caught her senseis 'in the act'. Just wait, Ino would die of envy.
Iruka whipped his head towards her, smacking Kakashi hard on the nose with his cheek. Kakashi cursed softly and covered it with both hands. Unfortunately this also covered most of his face, before she'd had a chance to get a good look at it.
"Ah! Sakura, come in. We were just…"
"Kissing." Kakashi finished for him, before making good on his word then turning away to grab a handful of tissues from the box beside the bed.
The effort to stop the squee from coming out made Sakura's eyes water.
Iruka rushed to her side, blushing fiercer than she was, taking her hand and squeezing it gently. "Sakura, please… don't be so upset. Surely you had some idea. Kakashi-sensei and I… we've been together for a while now."
Kakashi had his face buried in tissues as he tried to staunch the small trickle of blood from his nose. "I've been fighting pirates, bandits, Akatsuki, sennins and wolf demons and the first one to draw blood is my own husband."
Sakura's voice was more breathless than a marathon runner after his victory lap. "Husband?"
Iruka gave Kakashi a glare of death as he clapped a hand over Sakura's mouth. "Sssh, I don't think Shizine knows, and I don't think she should know… not right now." He made a feeble attempt at a sheepish grin. "I don't mean we should lie to her, it's just… well, Kakashi-sensei has to go before the council in the morning and well, I think it's a good idea to avoid as many complications as possible. They can be a bit… old fashioned."
Sakura nodded. And continued to stand in the doorway.
"Well?" Kakashi asked through his tissues.
Sakura blinked.
"What can we do for you Sakura-chan, I assume you came here for a reason."
"Oh yes, er, you see this is my room. Or rather it was, I didn't expect anyone else to be in here quite so soon. And you see, I think I may have left something in here, something that may be important."
"And that would be…?"
She stood stiffly, eyes hard and fists clenched into bloodless balls. It looked as if Ibiki's worst tortures wouldn't drag the answer from her.
Kakashi sighed. Hell he'd just been unofficially appointed unofficial temporary Hokage. He was her former jounin sensei and her team leader. "Sakura, if you can't tell me who can you tell?"
She let out a deep breath and flexed her fingers. "Yeah, you're right Kakashi-sensei. Of course you're right. It was a scroll, a mission scroll. And it was classified, I… I shouldn't have taken it out of the records room."
"If it's important then I'm glad you did. There is no record room now. It's in my jacket, wherever Iruka-sensei's hidden that."
He shot a dark look at the other man, remembering suddenly why he'd been unable to escape his current fate. "Shizune-san found it when you were brought in and gave it to me."
Iruka stalked over to the closet in the corner of the room. "For your information Kakashi-sensei, I didn't hide your clothes, I took them home to clean them. I was going to bring you some fresh ones tomorrow. I left the scroll here."
He threw it with the kind of force and accuracy to be expected from a distinguished chuunin.
Kakashi snatched it from the air, with the kind of lightening move to be expected from a distinguished jounin, one handed, while still holding his tissues to his face.
Sakura's inner fangirl reveled in their bickering. It was almost as much fun as their smooching. "Wow, you two really are married aren't you?"
She took the scroll and unrolled it on the bed so that they could all read it together.
"It just looks like any other mission scroll to me, why is this one important."
"Because you didn't go on this mission Kakshi-sensei, I cross-referenced it everywhere."
Kakashi scanned the date, his heart suddenly felt weighted with lead. He took some more tissues. "You're right. It was just after my father…I was taken off mission duty for a while."
Iruka knew the layout of these scrolls too well to miss the obvious. "But you're here Kakashi, your whole team is mentioned."
Even to himself his voice sounded cold and distant. "We were at war. It was bad enough that the enemy knew White fang was gone, Sondaime didn't want them to think I was out of commission too. He sent a substitute, using henge."
So it was Obito that Itachi had wanted all along. They'd been close, grown up together, as he had with Sam. That perfect moment of sexual union had been between Obito and Itachi. But Obito had thought it was with him. Obito had loved him, and felt he had the right to his love in return, while he had been screwing every willing partner he could find. No wonder his teammate had been so angry and spiteful after he'd been allowed to rejoin his team. He'd been the right angle of their love triangle without even knowing it.
"Thank you Sakura, you've done well. Come and see me again in the morning, okay?"
Sometimes shit doesn't just happen. Sometimes life heaves it at you by the truckload.