Title: Hurricane Katrina
Disclaimer: Dick Wolf owns 'em. I invited Bobby to come out and play.
Summary: Eames is on maternity leave. Bishop bails. Who will partner with the infamous Detective Goren?
Rating: K+ (this chap.)
Genre: Humor/Angst (who said they don't mix?)
Characters: Goren, Deakins
Reviews welcome.
Chap. 3 – And the Beast
Goren sat at his desk, staring at Eames' empty chair. Throwing balls of wadded up paper at it. There is no replacement for Detective Alexandra Eames! How dare anyone think they could take the place of his Eames? And now what had Deakins come up with? A goddamn beauty queen. Probably afraid she'll chip her nail polish. She'll spend all damn day in the ladies' room primping. Women who look like that never have to put forth any effort. Everything is given to them just because of their mere existence. All that is required of them is that they look good and smile.
Robert Goren enjoyed beautiful women. He was as normal as the next guy, at least in that respect. But looking like that was a freakin' distraction. A distraction to himself, to other officers working on a case, to witnesses, and to suspects. Not only would Katrina whatever be a distraction, what's worse, she would not be taken seriously. How the hell could he sit across the desk from Barbie for christ's sake? This was going to be a huge problem.
She's not going to know all about the previous cases Eames and I worked. She won't be able to read my mind, guess where I am going, follow my lead, finish my sentences, keep me from going off the deep end. What the hell good was she?
It was already 10:45 a.m. Katrina whatever wasn't due until 11:30. Goren had been stuck drinking 1PP coffee this morning, since it would have been Eames' turn to stop at Starbucks for coffee and maybe one of those wonderful raspberry scones. He forgot to stop on the way to work, so he had battery acid-grade coffee and stale Danish. He didn't dare walk out the door to go for coffee or anything else. Deakins would have his hide.
"Deakins!" he snorted. This is all his damn fault for bringing in Miss Universe, for god's sakes.
Goren looked around the bull pen. He noticed Logan and Barek chatting and filling out the endless paperwork. Logan. Jeez, there's another problem. He'll be sniffing around Miss America like a dog in heat. What if she's interested in Logan? Shit, he doesn't need her and Logan to get involved! That would be unprofessional and an even bigger distraction!
Goren hauled himself out of his chair. Paced around the office. Looked out the windows. Glared at anyone who dared to look at him. Circled back. Plopped his ass back in his chair with a thud. Nobody, but nobody, dared to look up. Nobody wanted to butt heads with the bear that is Bobby Goren. Everyone pretended to be so engrossed in the papers on their desks that they never even noticed the grumpy bear lumbering through the squad room.
Deakins looked out into the bull pen. He saw Goren prowling around and everyone else studiously ignoring him. Deakins had already decided to allow Goren to wallow in his self-pity, at least until Katayeva arrived. Then, Goren was expected to shape up and play ball. No matter how much he missed Eames, the cases would just keep coming at them and that required his full attention. Right now Deakins just prayed that the two of them could get through lunch without Goren driving her off or Katayeva using some secret military weapon on him that she'd liberated from Afghanistan.