It rained hard over fire country that night. Almost as if the whole place felt a need to cleanse itself of the odour of blood still lingering in the streets and in the forest. And Kakashi did sleep well, he always slept better in a rainstorm. But the real reason was sprawled under him. Iruka. Adding just enough weight to the bed to anchor him to his faltering grip on reality. Making little snorting noises when he shifted position, homely sounds that pulled him back when his mind started slipping into places too dark and too deep. And Iruka's sweet scent of sunshine and skin, forming a thick cloud of happiness around him.
He left very early, borrowing Iruka's clothes and vanishing out of the window into the freezing pre-dawn moonlight. The cold and the damp barely registered, as he leapt over the rooftops, or as he knelt at the stone. And he took his time asking forgiveness for what he knew was already forgiven, and explaining in detail what he knew was already understood. Finally he asked if Obito had realised the truth, or at least part of the truth… at the very end.
But as he pulled himself upright on his cold stiff legs he knew he'd have to wait for the answer. And he knew that Obito would want to wait as long as possible to give it to him.
Kakashi shed Iruka's clothes and folded them neatly as Iruka always did, and he never did. Then crawled back to his place pressed against his warm body. Iruka barely stirred. He'd arrived home often enough, cold and damp, for it to be part of the life they shared. His lover, his husband, simply folded him into a tighter embrace. Giving him his warmth as freely and as automatically as he gave him his love. This was worth fighting for, it was worth dying for, it was even worth the risk of being flung back into that fearsome abyss.
Iruka was still sleeping soundly when he woke again a few hours later. Shizune was standing over them, her face as dark as thunder. Kakashi pressed a finger to his lips, snatched up his headband and slipped out of bed, beckoning her over to a corner.
He made his blue eye round and innocent as he adjusted his wrinkled hospital gown to something closer to decent. "We were only sleeping I promise."
"Oh, so there was no kissing this time."
The corners of his mouth twitched up. "Maybe just a bit. But don't blame him, it was my idea."
She looked away and shook her head slowly, but when she looked back she was smiling. "Your meeting with the council is in an hour, you should ask what they want to do with the Mist sennin, he has demon blood in him and he's recovering fast." She walked to the door then turned back. "And wear something ironed."
"Ironed? Who did she think he was? He'd never ironed anything in his life. Well he was a genius, he could work it out."
Iruka's clothes were on the chair where he'd left them, but he couldn't take them again. Iruka would wake up any time, and if he found himself alone, naked, with no clothes… well, the result wouldn't be pretty. He opened the door a crack, henged into a hairy little grey mutt, and scurried out.
Twenty minutes later he re-entered the hospital room, where Iruka was sitting on the edge of the bed, fully dressed, toweling his wet hair. He looked up as he heard the door.
"Stop!"
"What is it Ruka?"
"You! Turn around."
He obediently spun in a small circle.
"I'm sorry Sir, you must have the wrong room. This is Hatake-san's room. Perhaps you've seen him?" He stood up and took a step towards him, with just a hint of menace showing through the tension in his muscular frame.
"He's sort of shaggy and messy," another step, "rumpled and crinkled," another, "and he never combs his hair, but underneath he's quite ador..mpff."
His last word was squelched as he was grabbed and pressed into a hot wet kiss.
Iruka pulled back, keeping his arms hooked around Kakashi's waist. "It's a good look on you… neat."
"Don't worry, it won't last. I had to wash these pants in the shower and dry them with fire, I scorched them a bit."
"Mmm, I'd planned to do laundry last night."
Iruka glanced up through his eyelashes. "But I guess I never made it home. I wish I could say that the council would understand if you showed up dirty and messy, but from what I've heard of them they'd see it as an insult. Had Breakfast?"
Kakashi shook his head. "Just some of Sam's godawful Turkish coffee."
"Then I'll have some by the time you get back. You promised to talk to the people at the gate, remember."
Shit, so he did. Just as he was hoping he might squeeze in the time for some fun.
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As Kakashi was climbing back into bed after his chat with Obito, Jiraiya was waking up in the stone structure he'd created as shelter from the rain. He looked over at the hearth where the fire had burned down to a few embers, and to Naruto beside it. Lying where he'd left him, as limp as a rag doll. He hoisted him onto his shoulder and stepped out into the bracing damp air. It had stopped raining but it wouldn't last, and there was a cold front moving in, the next lot would be snow.
He moved fast, despite his burden and was soon within the forests immediately surrounding the village. Then he saw something that made him stop in his tracks. Ghost-like shapes amongst the trees, some of them swaying and moaning, but most just standing, drooping forlornly like the living dead. But they weren't dead, he could feel them. What kind of bizarre jutsu was this?
Oh crap.
Underworld swamp, that's what. They were the people he'd trapped the day before. He'd completely forgotten about them, and left them here in the freezing rain. Maybe if he released it quickly and ran…
He set Naruto down, walked towards the group and hastily formed the seals. Now to get out of here before anyone recognised him.
The closest figure straightened and took a step on the now firm ground, lurching towards him. He was tall and would have been imposing, but for his black hair hanging in long limp rattails, and his wet silk robe clinging to his shivering body. A silk robe embroidered with the crest of the Hyuuga clan.
Crap.
Jiraiya tore at his hair with both hands. There was no escape.
"Hiashi-san, so you've, er, been here all night?
The Hyuuga patriarch's milky eyes homed in on him. "Jiraira, is that you?"
Crap. He could almost feel the 'gentle fist' squishing his insides already.
"And you've removed the jutsu. But that's right, you have one that's quite similar don't you."
Jiraira struggled to bring his voice down from the soprano range. "Uh yes, remarkably similar."
Hiashi flung himself towards him and Jiraira braced himself for unbearable pain. But he felt wet silk and wet hair, clammy icy hands around his shoulders.
"All I can say is thank you, thank you. If we'd been stuck here much longer we'd have frozen to death. Do you mind if I speak frankly? Well I will anyway, this needs to be said. To be honest I've never really liked you. I thought you were crude, and rash, and loud. And I've never trusted you around my womenfolk. You always seemed to be the kind who'd be irresponsible enough to cause trouble for people and just walk away without another thought."
He knelt and bowed his head almost to the ground. "Please forgive me for thinking ill of you for so long. I can see now just how profoundly mistaken I've been."
It took sennin level control to keep from loosing it. "Really, it's nothing. Really." Jiraiya pointed to the orange clad body a little way off. "Well I came out here to bring back Naruto, I should…"
As he fled the scene he heard Hiashi's voice calling after him. "Come to the main house sometime. We'll have tea … and a nice chat."
And yet that wasn't the strangest group he ran into on his return. There was a crowd around Konoha's main gate, of the strangest assortment of individuals he'd ever seen. There were ninjas from the surrounding countries, in ones and two's, half faded into the background. Retainers from several of the more prominent noble families, a few of the lesser lords had come themselves. But mostly they were just folks, farmers, merchants, tradesmen and women.
A youth who smelled strongly of fish grabbed the hem of his robe.
"Hey Sinobi-san. Is that Naruto Shinobi-san? Is he alright? And Kakashi-san, what about him? We heard he'd never got home."
He was about to shake the boy off when the hand was slapped away.
"Imari, leave Jiraiya-sama alone. Don't you know that he's one of the three great Sages of Konoha?"
A dark haired beauty was gazing at him with the deepest, purest, most luscious doe-eyes he'd ever seen.
"Please forgive my son but Kakashi-san is very precious to our family. He's done more to help us than I can ever say. We just wanted to offer… well any kind of help at all. All of the people here owe him a debt of gratitude, we're all here to help."
The old lecher's face broadened into a grin. "Er, Naruto's fine, just sleeping. And Kakashi got home, eventually. Perhaps I could just drop Naruto off, then we could discuss things in more…detail. More…privately."
His fingers were starting to twitch when he heard a voice from the tower above. "Jiraiya-sama, are you bringing him in or are you going to stand there and flirt all day.
He looked up and noted the bandannad auburn hair, the senbon between the teeth. Genma. The man was dead, no matter what his special value as a jounin.
"Coming through."
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Kakashi arrived minutes later. Shit what was this? A convention of all his past missionees. What did they want from him? Autographs? They surged towards him, touching, feeling, as if they didn't believe he was for real.
And he'd been trying to keep these clothes clean.
He would have fled but for a firm grip on the back of his jacket. Genma, the man was dead. Or worse, he's assign him a gennin team, being Hokage had to be good for something.
"Just talk to them Kakashi, they won't leave until you do, we already tried. Just say: I'm alive, thanks, now go home."
He waded into the crowd, using every once of his formidable will to resist disappearing underground. A ball of light exploded overhead with a pop. That shut them up.
"Everyone, please. As you can see I'm fine. I was out of touch for a while, but the village leaders underestimated me. But you're my friends and you know me better than that. It's cold here and it's wet, go home."
The edge of his vision caught a puff of chakra and a cloud of dew. Must have been a couple of mist nin teleporting away. Why would they want to help? Perhaps he'd once decided it was less trouble to spare them than to kill them. The rest of the crowd cheered then dispersed to break down their tents and rough shelters.
Good, that wasn't too painful. But his sharp eye noticed something else, movement in the opposite direction.
The two figures approached, rapidly. Moving with grace and speed that was unmistakably feminine. As they got closer he could see that they were tall, with flowing red curls. There was something vaguely familiar about them, but whoa! If he'd ever seen this pair before he'd have remembered. Twins. Georgeous. A wet dream in stereo.
They slid into place on either side of him. "Hatake-sama we presume?"
His heart did little backflips and another, more southern, body part started to do some pretty aggressive twitching around too.
One of the twins brushed her hand through his tussled hair. "We have a mutual friend I believe. Umino Iruka? An academy teacher?"
Oh. So they knew Iruka. Well it had been a good fantasy for as long as it lasted. …Not that he would have actually done anything. Not really… he'd never betray Iruka. Not even if…"
Just as his eye had started to close in blissfully perverted contemplation, there was a rush of air and a blinding flash of white… teeth? Gai?
The new arrival sparkled. How? Hadn't he been out in the rain all night? Hell, this was all he needed right now, another stupid challenge.
But Gai wasn't looking at him. His eyes were darting from one side to the other, checking out the twin embodiments of absolute female sexiness. He took two steps towards the green beast and in the blink of an eye Gai had taken his place between the women.
"Kakashi my rival, won't you introduce me to your friends? These perfect visions of youthful beauty."
Kakashi took two steps to the side. "To be honest we haven't been formally introduced ourselves. Ladies, this is Maito Gai, my friend and eternal, er, rival."
"Mimi."
"Fifi. There were rumours of something bad in Konoha and our brother sent us to help you. He's the Hero of Hidden Waterfall."
Now Kakashi knew why they looked familiar. He didn't know the Hero well, but he was a friend he valued.
The other twin picked up the conversation without a break, as if they had a single train of thought between them.
"But it looks as if we're too late. Just our luck, we missed out on the fighting but arrived in time for the clean up."
"Although if it's not too urgent we could use a little break first."
"Yes, we've just come a long way."
Mimi traced her middle finger along Gai's jutting jawline.
"We've always admired a man with strong features."
Fifi's hand disappeared behind Gai's body. From the way he jumped Kakashi could imagine where it had landed.
"And strong eyebrows, especially strong eyebrows. We've heard they're a sign of impressive… stamina."
Gai's eyes had become large and round, rounder even than Lee's. He struck a pose and the women giggled.
"Ladies, the springtime of our youth visits us but once. If my esteemed rival will excuse us, I think I can offer a quiet place for you to, er, rest. Tea and crumpets? My place?"
He offered them an arm each, which they accepted, and Kakashi watched them stroll towards the village. And although it was barely past daybreak, and the sky was dark as pewter, he could swear he saw a glorious sunset behind them for just an instant.
He blinked hard and his eye focussed on something even more delightful. Iruka walked up to him casually. So he'd been watching them the whole time, the skunk.
"Well… um, 'Hatake-sama', Jiraiya's back. I was about to rescue you from the Taki Amazons. But it looks as if I'm not needed."
Kakashi brushed their fingertips together. "Iruka, I'll always need you. Never forget that. But you saw? Gai? Gai with those two. Both of them? I don't think I'll have to worry about any challenges for a while, do you?"
Iruka gave him a Gai-worthy smile. "No, I think even he'll find himself plenty challenged."
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Back at the hospital, his room was getting rather crowded. The tasteless rice cakes that Iruka had provided from the hospital kitchen sat abandoned, in favour of the boxes of exquisite pastries that Sampo brought with him. Kakashi, Iruka and Jiraiya sat on the bed, Sakura and Sampo on the floor. Narto was sprawled on the chair, still sealed.
"Since you're our acting Hokage I think you should take it off."
"You put it on, you take it off."
"Hell no, I still have the scars from last time I pissed him off."
Kakashi ran his fingers through his hair. "Then why did you…?"
"I let him lay a chakra trail away from the village, and had him leave a huge gob of kyuubi chakra out in the foothills. It should lure anyone looking for him up there, but it wouldn't have worked if I'd let him shed chakra all the way back."
Sakura stood up and faced them, hands on hips. "What a bunch of wusses. I'll do it."
Before anyone could stop her she'd snatched off the seal.
Naruto's eyes flashed open. His legs stiffened, his toes twitched and quivered, and his back arched as he sucked in loud deep ragged breaths. "Ah ah ah aargh Sasuske… Sakura."
She stood gobsmacked for just a moment, then whacked the flat of her hand across his jaw so hard that the chair was smashed into the wall behind him, and he slid to the ground on the pile of wooden fragments. Leaving an indent in the wall the size of a soup bowl.
His eyes were hazed but not, apparently, with concussion. "Oh Sakura, I always knew that you cared for me, but I never dreamt..."
Kakashi scratched his nose through his mask. "Oh right. I'd forgotten the orgasmic release when the seal's removed. You wouldn't have any more of those things would you Jijii?"
Jiraiya wiggled his eyebrows. "Sorry kid, I think we'll need them to keep our friend from Mist under control. He'll be awake in another day or two, and as dangerous as ever."
Sampo looked from one white haired genius to the other, then stroked his bald head. "We need a more permanent solution, and you can't kill him. How about those priests you mentioned Jiraiya-sama, The Protective Order of the Wolf Blood Warrior."
"Keeping Ookami Ketsuekimusha out of the way is their reason for existing. But do we really want to risk sending him back to Hidden Mist? There are other cults there hoping to revive him."
Kakashi tented his fingers in front of his lips, as if asking for divine assistance. "What choice do we have? Go and find your red-robed bishonen and tell him to bring his box. Tell him we have the prize that goes inside."
"Kyuichose No Jutsu."
They just had time to make it to the sides of the room before they found themselves pressed against the walls by slimy skin. A voice boomed from above.
"I've told you before not to summon me indoors. I get nervous in small spaces, it makes the mucus glands in my skin open up something horrible."
Jiraiya had already noticed. Everyone had already noticed. They had all just been liberally showered with the stuff. "Er right, well times a bit short. We're going back to Hidden Mist, now."
Kakashi had never been more glad for the mask covering his face. "I'd like you to take Naruto too. He'll be safer at a distance from Konoha, at least for the time being. You've been good at keeping him away from the Akatsuki so far."
A female voice sounded from across the room. "Can I go with them Kakashi-sensei?"
Kakashi could just make out the back of Naruto's blond head where the frog-summon's thigh curved away from the wall. Grabbing what he guessed to be his arm, he dragged him out of the door.
Once in the hallway he tapped his lips through his mask as a signal for them to keep their voices low. "What do you think Naruto, would it be okay for Sakura to go?"
Naruto looked puzzled. "Why not? You don't mean because… but hey, she's my teammate."
Kakashi fixed him with a meaningful stare, his most meaningful stare. "I don't mean with you, I mean with Jiraiya."
Naruto didn't look any less puzzled as he scratched the back of his neck. "Well he's sorta standing in for you, isn't he? We'd be his team just like we're your team, er… with you."
Kakashi shook his head. A drop of goo detached from one of the floppier spikes of his hair, and dropped onto the metal part of his headband. "That's not what I mean. Look I know that Sakura likes cute moody prettyboys with inky hair and soulful eyes…"
The blond head slumped forward and Naruto wrinkled his nose, making his whisker marks twitch. "Yeah."
"But what about Jiraira, you know him as well as anyone by now."
At this Naruto's eye's opened wide, as blue and bright as the dawning of a new day, or at least a new truth. "Hell no. If he tried anything like that with Sakura-chan I'd… I'd rip his head off."
Kakashi's eye twinkled just blue and just as bright. He stepped back into the doorway. "That's an excellent idea Sakura-chan. Of course you should go too."
Once the three, and the toad, thank God, had left he ran a hand through his slimy hair.
"Gah, I can't go before the council like this. Dammit, the one time in my life when I didn't want to be late."
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Quick note. Has anyone else noticed that at the end of a series all the old characters all turn up en mass? I just wondered how that would work somewhere as secretive as Konoha. Also it gave me a plot device to work in a few other ideas (fiendish grin).