Disclaimer: Dick Wolf – yada yada yada. Just took Goren out for a spin.

Title: Hurricane Katrina

Rating: K+

Genre: Humor/angst (who said they don't mix?)

Characters: Goren, Deakins, Logan

Chap. 8 – The Goren - Katayeva Show

Reviews welcome.

Monday a.m. at Major Case Squad.

Goren was pissed. How dare Katayeva chat up Eames, asking questions about him! He had phoned Eames on Sunday just to catch up. During the conversation she casually mentioned that Katayeva had taken her to lunch the day before to pick her brain about both Major Case and him. Who the hell does she think she is? Deakins said she had brass ones. Got that right.

When Goren arrived he noticed Katayeva's things already on Eames' desk, but she was nowhere to be seen. Since it was her first official day in Major Case, the admin people probably had her filling out a ream of paperwork. By 9:15 everyone else was pretty much at their desks. At 9:30 Katayeva came off the elevator, carrying a manila envelope. She tossed it on her desk.

"Good morning, Goren."

"Ah…good morning…uh…we need to talk."

"Sure. Shoot."

"Who uh….said you could talk to Eames about me?"

"Who said I couldn't? She's a grown woman. She can talk to whomever she wants and so can I. Women still have the right to free speech."

"That…that's not …uh…what I meant."

"Spit it out, Goren, before you choke on it."

"How…how dare you discuss me… with Eames? You….you had no right…."

By this time Katayeva had circled around the desks and was face to face with the big bear, standing with her hands on her hips.

"Did you contact my former partner yet? Ben LoMonaco?"

"Uh..no."

"Why the hell not?"

Goren just stared at her.

"Hey! I did my homework, pal. Just 'cause you didn't do yours, don't take it out on me." Katayeva was within inches of Goren, using two fingers of her right hand to poke him in the chest repeatedly.

Goren just took it. The big guy was ….stunned. No one, absolutely no one, had ever spoken to him like that before in his entire life. When you are 6'4", people are wary of antagonizing you. Katayeva apparently missed the memo. He knew he didn't dare poke back. She could slap a sexual harassment suit on him so fast it would make his head spin.

"And the most valuable piece of information I got from Eames was that you favor those raspberry scones from Starbucks™. Which is why I left one on your desk earlier, though right now I should probably take it and shove it up your………"

Katayeva halted in mid-sentence and mid-poke. She and Goren suddenly realized that the entire squad room had gone dead silent. Everyone else was watching them. Everyone except Deakins, who sat in his office examining documents on his desk. Or at least pretending he was.

"You all have nothing else to do?" asked Katayeva, looking around, "This show is now over."

Everybody suddenly found some files that required their immediate attention, phone calls that needed to be made.

And to Goren, in a soft voice and with a smile on her face, "Get over yourself, pal."

Katayeva walked back around to her desk, sat down, flipped opened a file and began writing.

"Goren, we need to visit Sister Mary Agnes O'Toole's pharmacy and doctor. Will you be read to roll in fifteen minutes?"

"Uh…sure."

Goren got out of his chair and headed for the men's room. At least she can't follow me in here. He bent over the sink and splashed cold water on his face. He heard the door open. It was Logan, not Katayeva, thank god, but he glared at Logan just the same.

"Hey, Bobby boy."

"Don't start on me, Logan."

"I'm just makin' sure you're OK."

"Why wouldn't I be OK?"

"Uh, no reason." Goren may not have been able to poke back at Katayeva, but he could certainly take a swing at me.

"So, you gonna stay partnered with her?"

Goren thought for a moment.

"Yeah."

"Oh…OK."

Goren and Logan left the men's room. Goren went to gather his materials for the visit to the pharmacy and doctor.

……………………….

When the Goren – Katayeva show erupted, Deakins had been on the phone with the Chief of D's. Since the call was on speaker phone, the Chief was treated to the entire episode. And he had thoroughly enjoyed every minute of it.

"Jimmy, I've met Katayeva. She's a pistol alright. Damn good, too. I think she and Goren will do OK together. If she doesn't kill him first," laughed the Chief.

"If we had video phone, sir, you could've seen Katayeva poking him in the chest. She was right up in Goren's face. I've seen him invade other people's personal space, but never saw anyone do it to him. The look on his face was priceless."

"Damn, sorry I missed that part," chuckled the Chief, "I met a couple of Katayeva's brothers at some charity function my wife dragged me to. The neurosurgeon and the SEC lawyer. These guys are easily the size of Goren. She is just not intimidated by it. And she's no one's groupie.

"That's what I heard before she arrived. Katayeva's certainly living up to her PR."