Disclaimer: Dick Wolf, yada yada yada..

TI: Hurricane Katrina

Chap. 13 - Pipe Dreams

Rating: K+

Characters: Goren, Eames, Deakins

Summary: Swinging the metal pipe at Lance Brody comes back to haunt Goren. Will his temp partner back him up when it counts or hang him out to dry? Alternate version of Season 3's Murderer Among Us.

It's a couple of days after Goren and Katayeva had arrested Lance Brody for murder. Goren is at home after work. He's just answered his phone.

"Hey, Eames, good to hear your voice. I sure do miss you. How are you feeling?"

"I miss you too, Goren. And I feel fat and getting fatter by the day. Good thing I know that there is an end to this."

"Eames, I think pregnant women look just beautiful. You really do have that glow."

"Thanks, Goren, I needed that. But turning green from nausea doesn't constitute a glow," chuckled Eames, "So, how are things working out with Katayeva?"

"Umm…OK, I guess," replied Goren, "She's certainly smart and a quick study….but she…uhhh…can't quite read my mind yet, like you do, Eames."

"Well, I heard she read your mind well enough the other day to keep you from beating the crap out of a murder suspect with what? a metal pipe?"

"How did you hear about that?" asked Goren in a pissy tone, "I swear if Katayeva opened her mouth about that I'll…"

"You'll do what? Hit her with a pipe? Rein it in, Goren. She didn't utter a peep, but the uniforms who were at the scene told their captain that they thought they were going to have to cuff you for killing the guy. I heard it through the grapevine. What the hell were you thinkin'?"

"I…I was just trying to…intimidate the guy a little, Eames."

"Apparently you succeeded. Tell me, how did she get you to stop? The uniforms supposedly said that Katayeva got right up next to you and was talking to you while you were swingin' that damn pipe, but her voice was too low for them to hear what she said. And then you handed her the pipe."

Goren sighed. Should I tell Eames this or not?

"You gonna tell me about it, Goren?"

"Oh…alright…."

"Well?"

"Katayeva said…something to the effect that if I hurt this guy …..I …I would never be able to work…with you again, Eames. …Because I would have lost my job and my career."

"You were right, Goren. She's a smart cookie." And she knew exactly how to get to you. Thank god. I'll have to send her a thank you card. Does Hallmark make a thank-you-for-saving-my-partner's-ass card?

"Eames, I …I wouldn't have really hurt the guy…."

"That's not how it looked to the uniforms, Goren. Do you think you can stay out of trouble until I get back to work?"

"Yeah, Eames," laughed Goren, "I can stay out of trouble until then."

Goren could hear Eames' doorbell ring through the phone.

"My sister's here to take me to my doctor's appointment. I'll talk to you later in the week."

"OK. 'Bye, Eames."

The next morning at One P.P.:

"Goren, Katayeva. My office. Now."

The two detectives just looked at each other. Katayeva nodded slightly to Goren. They got up from their desks and walked into Deakins' office.

"Close the door. Take a seat"

Goren closed it and they both sat in chairs facing the Captain's desk. Deakins was not smiling.

"Would somebody like to tell me what the hell happened when you arrested Lance Brody the other day?"

Katayeva made the slightest hand movement to indicate to Goren that she would answer the question.

"We arrested him, Captain. That's what happened."

"Then why I am hearing through the grapevine that you…Goren…were swinging a metal pipe at Brody?"

"Captain, Brody grabbed the pipe off of a stack of them. Goren wrestled it away from him before he could use it on either of us."

"And you were swinging the damn thing at him?"

"I was just trying to make him back off a little, Captain," replied Goren.

"Sir, Goren was just trying to prevent Brody from hitting me with it. I had been talking with Brody's daughter, Clare, and Brody didn't take kindly to it."

"So, Katayeva, how did you get Goren to give you the pipe?"

"I asked for it and he handed it to me, sir."

Goren nodded.

"You two… that's your story and you're sticking to it?"

"Yes, sir," said the two detectives simultaneously.

"Goren, I don't want to hear about this kind of thing ever again. Understand?"

"Yes, Captain."

"Back to work, both of you."

Goren and Katayeva filed out of Deakins' office.

Deakins reached into his desk drawer for the Advil™ bottle. Dumped two into his hand, then gulped them down with a swig of bottled water. Katayeva has shown her loyalty to her partner, to Goren. Nothing bad actually happened, so she had no reason to tell me anything. From what the uniforms said, Goren looked like he was going to kill Brody. I'd give my right arm to know what Katayeva actually said to Goren that made him give up that pipe to her. But I guess I will never know. She's not gonna tell me.

"Walk down to the kitchen with me for coffee," said Goren softly.

Katayeva nodded and they continued walking down the hall.

"I'm not drinking any of this coffee," said Kat, "I don't have death wish."

She filled a mug with water for tea and put it in the microwave. Raised her eyebrows questioningly in Goren's direction. He nodded affirmatively that he'd have tea also. She added a second cup to the microwave.

The whirring sound of the microwave effectively drowned out their conversation from anyone who might be listening in.

"I … uhhh…I didn't thank you for …for the other day…with Brody…..and now for this…so, thank you, Kat, for both."

"De nada. All's well that ends well. That's what partners do, Goren," responded Katayeva, "Even temporary ones."

The microwave beeped. Katayeva handed Goren his mug with a tea bag in it. She took hers and headed back to her desk. Goren looked down at the cup. The tag on the tea bag string said Tension Tamer. He snorted a laugh and walked back to his desk.

Goren and Katayeva spent the rest of the day on paperwork. There seemed to be a lull in major case crime at this particular moment in time.

It was late afternoon when the phone on Kat's desk rang.

"Detective Katayeva."

"Hi, Mom. Do you know where the duct tape is?"

This cannot be good.

"Mack, why do you need duct tape?"

"Stefan and Alena are here. We're making a mummy, like in the books that Uncle Ilya gave me."

"What are you making the mummy out of?"

"Oh, it's OK, Mom, we wrapped some old white sheets around Boris. We need to tape it down."

"I don't think Boris wants to be a mummy, Mack. Go take the sheets off of him. I'll be home in a couple of hours at dinner time.

"Oh, alright, Mom."

Katayeva hung up the line, then dialed a number.

"Mama, please go check on Mack and the cousins. He just called to ask me about duct tape. They are wrapping up Boris like a mummy.

Katayeva ended the call. Took a long sip of her Snapple™. Held the cold glass bottle against her forehead.

"Your son is…uh…very creative…making a mummy," commented Goren, without looking up from his paperwork, "Who is Boris?"

"Boris is one of our dogs. A Russian wolfhound. Exceedingly good natured, thank heavens."

"How many dogs do you have?"

"Only two. Boris and…"

"Don't tell me….Natasha?" chuckled Goren.

"Of course," grinned Katayeva.