Extra warning: a little bit more concrete hints of sexual nature, nothing too graphic; mention of self-gratification. Hope it fits the rating category ;)


2nd Entry

This is just too much. Too much of classes that bore me to Sith-hell, with way too much homework. Fucking don't have a life now. Not that I do every stupid task am given. I don't. I start daydreaming about my Master and about how would I kiss his lips, how would he kiss me back, firmly, devouring me, and I him, so we erode each other's physical boundaries to become one. Then, of course I'd get back to reality, Obi-Wan, I mean, my Master scolding me for not doing my work, and then he'd get angry because I retort OF COURSE; Force, he is beautiful when he is flushed with anger. Then he'd storm out of my room leaving behind only his fragrance and Force-resonance to grace the air of my room. Thus, my dreams would be filled with him, so could not concentrate in classes and so the circle is complete.

Am obsessed with him now. Yet he seems to be avoiding me lately. I mean we have the usual friendly banter and quarrels, well, about in equal proportions, but we couldn't have a deep conversation, I mean a real one in like, two or three weeks' time. Don't want to lose what I already have of him, couldn't bear the thought of that. Still, he meditates alone, no longer asks me to join him (not that I improved in that, unfortunately... it's not for me). And I watch him secretly; he has some great burden on him, I can tell. I wonder if it's the Council's doing. Freaks! If they make MY MASTER depressed they have to pay for it BADLY. I already know whom I gonna start with... Making my Master's stunning face all creased, his chest heaving...
For Sith's sake, he even meditates half naked! That is part of the reason I've become a voyeur... I can adore each and every squaremillimeter of his upper body, take in every detail, only to have his body remapped with my lips and fingertips later - in my dreams or under the hot water of the 'fresher... I took up that latter habit after dreams weren't enough. My body feels somewhat sated after it but still, I am on the verge of tears, because it's just my hand and my own, un-shared pleasure.

Oh no. He came home. We are supposed to have a night-time sabre-practice. Force give me the power to keep up my shields. He should not know anything. However when we are duelling, the bond between us surges with Force it's almost impossible for me to not give in and let go of EVERYTHING.
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whooo. Ok. Breath. ... Allright. Better now.

Must go now, I hear him calling me.

Force give me strength...