Reviews, love them. Thanks so much, they really inspire when writing because I know someone wants to know what's going to happen : ) So, here's my next chapter. Hope you like. BTW: I guessed on Cameron's age in this next chapter to be around four. If I'm wrong, I'm sorry. I just didnt' feel like digging for his real age, and it suited my story to have him this age.
Rated: M
Disclaimer: I don't own them, I just like writing about them.
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There You'll Be
Chapter Five
"Elizabeth."
The first thought that snapped in his head was how much he had missed her.
Until now, he hadn't realized just how often the two of them ran into each other in Port Charles. In Kelly's as he stepped in for a quick up of coffee. At the hospital for one reason or another. In the park while he was watching Michael and Morgan. Each time with a smile and a wave of hello, that somehow he had become accustomed to having in his life.
You're so beautiful. I mean, you always were. I just, I just wasn't expecting this.
The words he had spoken to her echoed and resonated in a way that he could only now appreciate. Their truth unmistakable. She was beautiful. Since the last time he saw her on the docks, much had changed about her. Her skin, smooth silky beneath his fingertips, held a healthy glow now. She was still slender, lithe, in the khaki cargo pants and simple pink t-shirt and matching sneakers. Those eyes.
And her mouth.
What the fuck was he doing? Unsettled, Jason licked his lips and stood from the stairs where he had been waiting for the past hour for her to return. He noted her son holding her hand, kept his movements slow and unthreatening, as he watched apprehension flicker in his face. Cam looked so much like Elizabeth now, though perhaps he favored Zander as well.
A combination of their features he decided, a mixture of Zander and Elizabeth that had formed together in Cameron, an entirely new person. He had a head full of dark unruly hair, unless memory failed him that was Zander's quick grin he seen a moment before he'd tucked himself neatly at her side. And Elizabeth's eyes. Not the color, for they were dark like Zander's, but the shape of them, bright, expressive.
The two of them made quite a picture. The peaceful scenery and the glow of the setting sun behind her. It was like a painting he might have seen once. Mother and Child. The sight made him take a deep breath and swallow past the lump in his throat as she smiled tentatively. Welcomingly, as if she had been expecting him.
People had treated his presence in a variety of ways. Carly just acted as if he was supposed to be there, in a way, so did Sonny. The Quartermaines always had expectations in their eyes, making him feel a little uncomfortable with their hopes. Emily treated him he supposed like a sister treated a brother, seeing as he didn't have much experience with those kinds of relationships, he couldn't really tell. And Sam, she had made him feel happy to be there, contented to be wherever she was, but never had he felt welcomed.
"I didn't mean to intrude," he managed, as the silence only stretched between them.
She raised an eyebrow, her mouth pursing gently into a mocking smile, "Didn't you? I've never known you to do anything you didn't mean to do." The words could have been harsh, antagonistic, if he hadn't heard the humor behind them. That's when he realized, she probably had been expecting him. "Cameron, I don't know if you remember my friend Jason Morgan. Jason this is Cameron," she reintroduced them, though he didn't need it. Since his birth, he had seen Cameron on several occasions, had watched the baby grow into this little boy. He knew that she was putting her son at ease with the introduction, so that Cam would know that he wasn't a threat.
He closed the short distance between them, but stayed far enough that Cameron wouldn't feel uncomfortable. Squatting down to child level easing into a smile, "It's nice to meet you Cameron, you can call me Jason," he slowly extended a hand and waited to see what would happen next.
Cameron looked to his mother for approval, and at her quick nod, he offered a sudden irresistible smile that lit up his entire face. "Hi Jason," he placed his much smaller hand into his, and Jason was slightly astonished at the feelings it ignited. Protectiveness, happiness. Cameron's hand could be completely swallowed by his much larger one; it made him as a man realize how much responsibility that placed into his care. The trust this child was extending to him and the knowledge that he had to do everything in his power to make sure that trust wasn't betrayed.
"You mind if I visit with you guys for a while?"
"Mommy's making Bwead and Spaghetti and Meatballs for dinner?"
"Really?" he chuckled through the ripple of mirth, enjoying Cameron and absolutely charmed. "I'm guessing you like Spaghetti and Meatballs."
He nodded eagerly, "And Bwead," he added with a little lisp, "You can have some too."
He hadn't intended to intrude on their time. Hell, he didn't know what he had intended when he came after Elizabeth, the only thing that had been on his mind was the almost desperate need to talk to her. He tilted his head to her, waiting for her answer and didn't want to acknowledge the hope that perhaps he would be included. "I think that's up to your mother," he told Cameron, asked her.
"Jason is welcome to join us for dinner," the soft curve that touched her lips immediately turned mischievous as she added, "Of course, those who wish to eat must cook as well."
"Mommy lets me roll meatballs," Cam offered, "You can too, I can show you 'cause I roll good meatballs."
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He had looked so vulnerable.
It had reached right in and grabbed hold of her heart in a way that she hadn't expected. Such a simple thing for her and Cam, making dinner together, and she realized that Jason might not have ever had that before. He'd told her that Sonny cooked, and that Robin had shown him how to cook some things, that he and Sam had always ordered out.
What about his other relationships, had they never shared this normal everyday experience? If it had been simply a man and a woman, the meal could have taken on sexual undertones that neither of them were prepared for. With Cam, it made dinner a family occasion. Jason surely shared family dinners with Sonny, Carly and their kids. Only they weren't his family. When all was said and done, Jason went home alone each night now that he and Sam weren't together. This evening with the three of them was probably tearing at the unspoken wants he carried deep inside for no one to see.
Yet he couldn't keep that desire from his eyes in that one unguarded moment he had looked to her for approval.
"Okay," she settled Cam on a stool at the table next to Jason after thoroughly washing his hands at the sink, "Since I have two apprentice meatball makers, I can get started on the rest of the meal." She went to the refrigerator with a huge steel bowl, "Let's see, we have ground turkey breast, eggs, a little parmesan cheese," she began dumping ingredients into her bowl to carry to the table.
"You need some help with that?" Jason asked and she glanced back to see the concern lining his brow.
"I'm fine," she flashed a quick reassuring smile as she closed the door and walked back to the large oak table setting the ingredients on top. Then she walked to the sink and grabbed the cutting board from over head, a knife from the drawer, then an onion from the pantry. She quickly diced the onion into small pieces, slid it off the board into a bowl and walked back to the table. At the surprise on his face she asked, "What?"
"I didn't know you could do that," he shrugged making her laugh.
"It's just cutting an onion," she told him, "besides, don't be too impressed, this is only one of very few meals that I can cook. And I use a prepared sauce in a jar," she explained, then remembered, "I should put the water on," she walked back to the stove, reaching for one of the large stock pots over head, extending to her toes and felt her fingers slide off the steel.
"Man," she muttered in disgust. Before she could reach back up, Jason was there, easily slipping the pot down. Unintentionally brushing, their torso's colliding and she was wickedly reminded of the muscle beneath the black tee he wore as it stretched against her. As her already achy breasts were teased by the graze of his chest. The image of her slipping his shirt off flooded her mind, drying her throat, and she could almost feel his heated skin the twist of
She took a hasty step back, feeling silly for the heat flooding her face, "Sorry," she apologized, looking everywhere but into his face, so he wouldn't see her embarrassment. This was the last thing they needed. He held out the pan and she grabbed it with a quick "Thanks," without touching him and turned to the sink to fill it with water. If she acted like nothing was wrong, hopefully she could pretend nothing was wrong and he wouldn't notice. The thudding of her heart in her ears was so loud, that she was certain that he had to hear it. Why wouldn't he go sit back down?
She chanced a glimpse of his face, felt her stomach drop at the unmistakable hunger in his eyes and quickly turned back to the faucet. She turned off the water, going all the way around the table to the stove, which was insane of course when all she had to do was walk right past him. Only, she needed the distance and if it made her look ridiculous, well she would just look ridiculous. She set the pot down and turned on the stove to bring the water to a boil. Done, she went to mix the meatballs and Jason had gone back to his seat next to Cam, much to her relief.
"I'm going to mix all of this together," she started nervously, "Then I'll get the pan ready to broil them while the two of you roll them out."
"Mommy's making bwownies for desert," Cam said happily, "She makes the best bwownies."
"Can't wait to taste them," Jason spoke in a easy tone, but the underlying hint of huskiness in his voice made her hand clench, crushing the mixture between her fingers.
A very big mistake.
It oozed between her fingers, causing her to glance down at the viscous mass of pink and just like that the nausea hit with a viciousness that made her head spin. The catch of breath she released, made Jason look up at her. She pulled her hand out of the bowl, wiping access from her hands onto the towel sitting on the table, and choked a bit as she tried to hold off a moment longer.
"Elizabeth?"
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Jason watched in shock as she turned pale then rushed from the room. He wasn't sure if he should go after her or not. "Mommy's sick again." He glanced down at Cameron's face and the matter of fact tone of his voice only shocked him more. "She said that having the baby makes her tummy sick sometimes."
What was he to say to that? He hadn't realized that she would tell Cameron, but of course it made sense. If she was having morning sickness, the last thing she wanted to do was worry her son when he saw her throwing up all of the time. "I'm going to check on your Mommy, can you go to the living room and play with that truck you were showing me earlier?"
He nodded, and climbed from the stool running from the kitchen. Jason grabbed the bowl and stuck it into the refrigerator, turning off the pot of now boiling water and followed the direction that Elizabeth had taken from the kitchen moments before. He didn't have to wonder long where the bathroom was, all he had to do was follow the sounds of her retching. Tapping lightly on the door he called out, "Elizabeth?"
There was no answer but there was the sound of the toilet flushing, so he knocked again, "Elizabeth are you okay?"
There was a miserable groan, "Go away, Jason," came an echoing reply.
"I'm coming in," he warned, twisting the knob and heard her groan again in defiance.
She was sitting on the floor in front of the toilet, one arm limp on the side the other proped on the edge, with her head resting in the crook. The wretchedness on her face made him feel guilty as hell. She was going through this because of him. The least he could do was help her as much as he could. "Can you stand, or do you still have to," he left off, not knowing if the words might trigger another episode.
"I'm done," her voice was gritty, making him feel even worse. Slowly her eyes opened, "Cam?"
"In the living room playing." He turned on the warm water in the sink and pulled her to her feet, holding her hands under the water to wash them with soap and dried them on the towel hanging on the rack behind them. After helping her to sit on the toilet, he turned the water cold, offering her a cup of water so she could rinse her mouth out. She surprised him by opening the medicine cabinet and grabbing the toothpaste and a brush and quickly made use of them. When she was done, he wiped her face with the cool towel he held and she moaned with relief.
It made him want to pull her into his lap and hold her.
"Is it like this all the time?" He didn't like to think of here for ten days going through this on her own. He had called himself giving her time when he should have been here taking care of her.
"No," she looked in a drawer and pulled out a band, tucking her hair up into a ponytail, "In the mornings, it's rough, but I keep saltines and a glass of water by the bed, so that helps. It's only bad when it catches me like that. I usually pay attention to things that can set it off. The smell of certain foods, or the look of them, can make me sick. Needless to say, I wasn't paying attention."
Tucking an errant strand of hair behind her ear, he murmured, "I'm sorry."
"Why?" When he found the strength to look into her eyes, he was surprised by what he saw there. Concern for him, when she was the one who wasn't feeling well.
"This is my fault."
"Last time I checked, it took two people to make a baby," a small smile touched her lips, "besides, I'm not sorry. A little morning sickness isn't going to kill me." She blinked slowly and he knew despite her brave words, that she was tired.
"Where's your room?"
"Why?"
Did he really have to explain? "So you can lay down Elizabeth. You need to rest."
"I have to make dinner for Cameron," she insisted trying to get up.
"I think I can manage spaghetti and meatballs," he kneeled before her. "You should lay down."
"I can't, I promised Brownies, and,"
"Stop protesting, and just do what I want this once."
"Jason, I don't need you to take care of me. I'm pregnant not helpless."
"I want to take care of you," he admitted softly and that made her go silent. "I know you could probably get up and go to the kitchen and finish dinner and make Cam his brownies as if everything was just fine. I know that. I, I just," he stopped not really knowing what he wanted or how to explain how he had this need to take care of her. It wasn't because she was pregnant. Seeing her with Cameron, knowing that she was ready and willing to raise her son alone, it humbled him. And raised every protective instinct he possessed. He had never doubted her strength, her resilience. He just wanted to be there for her. "Please, Elizabeth."
"I won't go upstairs to bed," she started, then released a sigh, "I'll lay on the couch for a while."
"But," and she cut him off with a shake of her head.
"That's the deal Jason. I won't let Cameron think I'm ill and get him upset, because I'm not. He needs to understand that having a baby isn't an illness. I don't want him unconsciously blaming the baby for making his mother sick. Having a baby is a wonderful part of life."
"He didn't sound worried when I left him."
"Good," she nodded, "If I go to bed, it will change all that. Telling him that I'm just a little tired will be okay. He'll understand that, since I went to work today."
"Work?" She was working and dealing with morning sickness?
"Don't look at me like that Jason," she clear blue eyes flashed with spirit, "Yes I'm working. I found a nursing position with a pediatrician in town. I happen to like my job and it gives me something to do while Cam is in daycare."
"But if you stayed home, then he wouldn't need daycare."
"He needs to be around kids his age," she said pointedly, "As much as I would love to spend all day every day with Cameron, it would hurt him in the long run. Socializing with other children, knowing that his mother loves her job but will always have time for him, it makes him a well adjusted little boy."
"Will you work all the way until it's time for the baby to come?" It was the first time he had actually said the word baby and it made their situation all the more real. It must have shown on his face, because she lifted a hand and caressed the side of his face. Again, comforting him, when he should have been comforting her.
"Probably not," she answered, "I'll have to see how I'm feeling then."
He nodded but still feeling unsure, it was an uncomfortable feeling. There weren't many times when he was unsure on how to handle a situation. Yet there were so many variables here that needed to be discussed. He stood, then bent to lift her easily into his arms, pulling her tight against his chest when she started to protest.
"I can walk you know. Cameron," she started but he cut her off. In this he was absolutely certain.
"Cameron needs to see that it's a man's responsibility to take care of," he paused because he was going to say his woman, but Elizabeth wasn't his woman. But she was the mother of his child. "A man honors his responsibilities," he altered slightly, "I won't hide that I'm this baby's father Elizabeth. I can't," his voice faded, losing it's confidence because he didn't want to pressure her.
She slipped her arms around his neck, and tucked her head neatly against his neck, "I never thought you would."
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The meal was more fun than she'd had in a while. The three of them together, laughing at the dinner table, felt deceptively like a family. It was a deception that she had to be careful of. Cameron had been pulled into one falsehood that was torn apart by Lucky's drug abuse. It was her responsibility to make sure that it didn't happen again. While it would be easy to just fall in and let whatever happen, happen, she had to be much more cautious this time. There were two children involved. Though she knew that Jason would never do anything to hurt Cameron, or their unborn child, she had thought the same about Lucky.
The food was good, Jason proving that he could indeed manage spaghetti and meatballs, and even the small salad from the bag of romaine lettuce, shredded carrots and her cherished cucumbers and cherry tomatoes. When she protested, because a girl had to satisfy those midnight cravings, he had promised to buy more. He made up for brownies with scoops of ice cream for dessert much to Cam's delight. There was only one thing he liked more than brownies and that was chocolate swirl ice cream.
After dinner, while Jason washed dishes, she had taken Cam up for his bath and pajamas, then they sat on the front porch swing for a while. It was good, very comfortable, and made her heart ache a little.
A moment out of time.
Because this wasn't there life, out here in Brunswick, in this cottage and there was no escaping that fact.
"He's asleep," Jason spoke up breaking the silence and she looked down at Cam curled up trustingly between the two of them. "I can take him up if you want."
"Thank you," she nodded, preferring to remain in the illusion that they were a happy family on vacation for a while longer. He lifted Cam easily into his arms and took him into the house leaving her to sit and listen to the night. So many if onlys. If only. Yet she couldn't regret. She wouldn't have wished Lucky's drug addiction on him. That would make her a horrible person. If it hadn't happened, if he hadn't slept with Maxie she never would have gone to Jason. She could feel sorrow for the events, but she couldn't regret because that would mean regretting the child growing within her womb at this moment and that was something she couldn't ever do.
The screen door opened and Jason walked back out, carrying a wine glass filled with orange juice making her chuckle softly, "Now how did you know I was wanting this?"
"Judging from the five containers I saw in the refrigerator earlier, I had a pretty good guess that this was one of those cravings that I've heard about," he smiled, handing her the glass and sitting next to her.
"You were right," she admitting taking a sip of the tangy beverage. She didn't understand the strong need for Orange juice, but even with Cam she'd always wanted the veggies and blue cheese dip. Most people craved junk food, and she had a thing for vegetables. There was one other strong craving she always had, but it had yet to register, so she figured maybe it wouldn't this time.
They sat in silence once more, and she curled her feet beneath her, sliding closer so that he could wrap and arm around her shoulders. How often had they done this and why did it feel so right?
"Can you stay," she asked tentatively, knowing that his responsibilities to Sonny were important to him. With Alexis being sick, he was surprised that Jason could get away to come up here.
"As long as you'll let me," he answered eventually, "I know you came up here to think, and I tried to give you some time but,"
"But you needed to come," she understood completely. "How do you feel about this Jason? About the baby?"
He moved his arm, shifting so that the light of the moon hit the side of his face and she could see every emotion. Confusion. Shock. Fear. Joy. They mirrored her own. "Is it wrong to be happy?" He asked tentatively, bringing tears to her eyes. "I feel like I don't deserve this. After everything. Sam."
"It isn't' wrong to be happy. As difficult as this makes things, I'm happy. I'm scared sometimes because of my two other miscarriages and I find myself being overly cautious. And I know it's going to stir up a lot of trouble back home, but this baby," she placed a hand over her abdomen, "This baby is loved."
"You said that you didn't want to bring a child into my world," he reminded her. "Does that mean,"
"I think it's a little too late for that now," she responded matter of factly. "This is your child. I would never try to keep you away."
"I wouldn't blame you. You would be trying to protect-"
She rolled her eyes, releasing a huff of breath, "Shut up." His eyes widened with surprise and it might have made her smile if she wasn't so irritated. "It isn't an issue. Our child, plain and simple. Am I worried about possible consequences, about the danger in your job, yes. I'd be an idiot not to be. I also know that you'll do everything you can to keep our child safe."
"Nothing is one hundred percent certain Elizabeth."
"I think I can testify to that," she made a dismissive gesture, "I would have been one hundred percent certain that Lucky wouldn't get hooked on drugs, that he wouldn't sleep with Maxie. I would have been one hundred percent certain that he wouldn't grab me in anger or that he wouldn't call my son a bastard."
"What?" He ground the declaration out between his teeth and she could have slapped herself for being so careless with her words. "He did what?"
"He was angry," she immediately clarified, "It's not an excuse, but it is the reason. He had just found out I was pregnant."
"That doesn't give him the right to put his fucking hands on you!" He almost roared and she was absolutely shocked at the total loss of control. She had seen Jason angry before and that fury was frightening but this primitive reaction had her grabbing his hands with a shiver of panic. She had no doubt that if Lucky had been present in this moment, Jason would have gone after him and pounded every ounce of rage coursing through him into Lucky.
"Jason, I'm fine." She murmured in a calm comforting voice, squeezing his hands to get his attention. "It's over, Lucky's gone and I'm fine."
His anger abated somewhat under the warm reassurance of her voice, but she could still see hints of it glittering in his artic blue eyes. "I don't like it, you've always taken up for him."
"Not anymore," she shook her head, "Jason look at me," she grasped his chin, forcing him to look into her eyes, "Not anymore. I hope Lucky finds the help he needs, but I'm done."
His nostrils flared as he dragged a slow deep breath in and let it go, "I don't like the thought of his hands on you."
"I'm done," she repeated, and watched him nod carefully, but the muscle in his jaw jerked as he continued to struggle for control. Without thinking about what she was doing, she leaned upward, and pressed her lips to his. The kiss unexpectly devoured, making her burn. Each caress grew in intensity, a hungry spurt of desire spiraling through her, making her clench at his chest. His answering groan deep in his chest overrode every ounce of sense she might have had. It was supposed to be an offer of comfort but who the hell had she been fooling.
Memory exploded in her mind as his body tensed, the sweet tender taste of him filling her mouth and she would have pulled away, but his hand slid behind her neck drew her in as his mouth claimed hers. How could she have forgotten this heat? Her body instantly reacted, drawn to him and the knowledge of pleasure she knew they could share. His tongue swept across her lower lip, as he sucked briefly, making arousal scorch through her body to pool heavily between her legs. Slowly, enjoying the pull of muscle, she ran her hands up his chest, fingers threading through his thick hair as she opened at his demand. His tongue dipped into her mouth, making her heart pound in an erratic rhythm in her chest.
"Elizabeth," he murmured against her mouth, as his arms closed around her waist drawing her tight against his straining body. The sheer breadth of him should have shocked her, but it was just like that last time. She felt soft, feminine, wanted, in his arms. It took nothing from her to feel this way. He wasn't trying to dominate her, even with his flare of anger before. She knew that it hadn't been directed toward her, but in defense of her.
She met the caress, his mouth pure temptation. The kiss explored, focused on extracting every last drop of pleasure to be gained. One lick, one nip of teeth, a soft suckle on a lip, a tangle of demanding tongues, each drawing them deeper into the web of desire being woven around them. His hand tightened briefly around her neck, and she wanted to moan in frustration when he pulled away. When he leaned his forehead against hers, his breath coming in harsh breathless pants, she knew he was just as affected.
Jason licked his lips, a low hum rumbling in his chest as if he were savoring the taste of her, "I think we need to talk about this."